The Wanderers Beginning: The Wanderers, Reborn, & Unforgiven

by Jessica Miller

I didn’t know what to say. I was almost too shocked to speak. I liked Roman a lot. Hell I even think I loved him too, but I was scared. I was scared to love someone again and lose them. When I didn’t say anything he took it as a bad sign. “I should have never said anything…just forget it,” he stammered.

  “No, Roman, I’m glad you did. I just…”

  “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. Let’s just go back to sleep,” he said, lying back down and pulling the covers up. The look on his face almost broke my heart. I opened my mouth but no words came out, so I just rolled over and let him wrap his arms around me. I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt for not confessing to Roman how I really felt about him. The last person I was with I waited too long to tell him how I felt and then I was too late.

  “Roman? Are you still awake?”

  “Mm hmm,” he mumbled.

  I didn’t know what came over me, but I decided to stop worrying about myself and being selfish. I was going to live in the now and not contemplate about the later. I turned around and faced him. I slipped my hand behind his neck and pulled him closer for a kiss. “You know if you start that again, we’ll never get to sleep,” he said, running his hand down the back of my thigh and then pulling me on top of him.

  I sat up and looked into his dark blue eyes. He smiled and reached up to touch my face. I took his hand and held it in mine. “There’s something I have to tell you,” I said.

  “You’re not a man are you?”

  “Roman be serious!” He raised a brow and looked at me. I grabbed his hand and put it on my breast. “They’re real, okay? Not store bought.” He laughed and I threw his hand away.

  “I wasn’t done testing the merchandise,” he said, reaching for my breast.

  I grabbed his wrists and pinned them down to the bed. “Roman…stop!”

  “Mm…I like when you get mad.”

  “God, you’re such a dick!” I stood up from the bed and started to pace the room. “I’m trying to tell you something and you’re making this hard,” I said frustrated.

  He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. “Ella, I’m sorry. Come here.” He lifted his arms out wide. I glared at him. “I promise I’ll be good.”

  I slowly walked over to him and he placed his hands on my hips and looked up at me. I took a deep breath and let it out. “I like you Roman.”

  He smiled. “I like you too.”

  “No. I mean, I really like you. I want to be with you.”

  “I want to be with you too,” he smiled and pulled me closer. I pressed my lips to his and pushed him back on the bed. I knew now more than ever I wanted to be with Roman and I wanted him to be my first. I pulled off my tank top. “Ella, what are you doing?”

  “Shh…” I said as I nibbled on his neck. I pulled at his t-shirt and he took it off. Then he rolled over on top of me and I tugged at his pants.

  “Ella?”

  “It’s okay. I want to.”

  “Are you sure? I didn’t tell you I love you just so you would sleep with me. You know that, right?”

  “Yes,” I said, knowing he was telling the truth.

  “Okay, good,” he said relieved.

  When he didn’t make a move I asked, “Do you not want to?”

  “Oh no! I do!” he said in a rush, making it hard not to laugh.

  “Roman, I’ve never been so sure of anything but this right now.” I started to kiss him again and he let me slide off his pants. He kissed me passionately, causing my body to heat up. Then his lips moved down my neck, across my chest, and down my stomach, leaving goose bumps all over my skin. He stopped when he reached the top of my pants, hesitating. I let him know it was okay. He slid them off slowly and then tossed them to the floor. He ran his hands up my legs, making me shiver. When he reached my hips he paused. He was teasing me. I could see the smile on his face. Not able to take it anymore, I grabbed him and pulled his lips to mine.

  “Roman,” I said in between breaths. “Just remember to go easy on me. I haven’t done this before.”

  “It will be a first for both of us,” he whispered.

  “Wait, what?” I pulled back.

  “Ella, I’m a virgin.”

  “Yeah right. Seriously Roman you don’t have to pretend to make me feel better.”

  “I’m not pretending. I’m serious Ella.”

  “But you dated Mackenzie?”

  “Nothing happened between us. I didn’t care for her like I do for you. It wouldn’t have been right.”

  I pulled him back down on top of me and kissed him like crazy. Before I knew it we were naked. “Do you have any condoms?” I asked.

  “Yeah, in my pants pocket,” he said, reaching for them.

  “So, you just carry one around? In case?”

  He started to blush. “Well…I just…”

  I laughed. “You’re so cute when you stutter.” He rolled his eyes and tore open the wrapper.

  “You ready?” he asked.

  I nodded, biting my lip. “Just try not to burn me.”

  That was not what I expected. All those movies and books totally glamourize sex and make it seem like losing your virginity is the most magical thing in the world. Like you make love for hours and you see stars and fireworks. I’m here to tell you they are wrong. The only thing I saw was the inside of my eyelids because my eyes were shut the whole time. And it kinda hurt – at first. Not just the initial part, but for also the fact that he kept burning me. It was also kind of awkward both of us being virgins and all. It’s not like we read the encyclopedia of sex or anything like that. It was more like kind of feeling your way around, but I guess that was kind of the point.

  When we were done – or should I say when he was done – we both laid there on our backs, staring up at the ceiling, not saying anything – basically creating a big bubble of more awkwardness with the silence. “How do you feel?” Roman asked, breaking the silence.

  “A little sore,” I said honestly.

  “Are you still happy we did it?”

  I rolled over and ran my hand over his chest. “Of course I am, very happy.” Despite the weirdness of it all I was glad it was with Roman.

  “You want to do it again?” he asked with a big smile on his face.

  “Just…go slow this time. If you keep burning me the way you do I might not have any skin left by the time we’re done,” I teased.

  “Sorry, I’ll try to take it easy.”

  “Alright good, now, give it to me baby,” I laughed.

  He growled and pounced on me. This time was better than the first. Still not the fireworks explosion I expected, but close. I wasn’t worried though. We would have plenty of time to practice.

  Chapter twenty-four

  My body was warm and tingly. I felt a small shock when I opened my eyes and saw Roman was watching me sleep. He started to trace his fingers along the tattoo on my back. “You know that the Dragon was the master of all the elements of nature. They are both creators and destroyers. They’re also associated with wisdom and longevity. Dragons can be thought to symbolize the ability to see the “big picture” as well as the ability to see far off danger or future circumstances.”

  “How come you know so much about dragons?”

  “I did a research paper on them my senior year of high school,” he said, still tracing the dragon tattoo on my back. I closed my eyes and let the shock of his touch tickle my skin. “These flowers remind me of my grandmother’s garden,” he said, kissing my shoulders.

  “Do you know that sometimes when you touch me you shock me?” I asked.

  “I’m sorry.” He stopped.

  “No, I like it. It feels nice,” I smiled.

  “Really,” he said, shocking me so bad I jumped.

  “Ow!” I smacked him. “Not like that.”

  “Sorry,” he laughed. “I don’t always realize when I’m doing it, but I feel it too.”

  I laced my fingers with his and rested my head on his chest. “What time is it?”<
br />
  “Time for you to bring those sexy lips to mine,” he said.

  I obliged. “How much time do we have before we have to get ready for class?”

  “Why can’t we skip our classes today?” he whined as he started to nibble on my neck.

  “Because we can’t,” I sighed.

  “You think maybe now we can tell people we’re together?”

  “I’ll think about it,” I teased as I got out of bed.

  “Where are you going?” he asked, pulling me back down to the bed.

  “I was going to take a shower.”

  “Want some company?” he asked with a devilish smile.

  “Then we’ll be late for class,” I said, peeling his hands off of me and heading into the bathroom. After I turned the water on and hopped in the shower I heard the door open and close. “Roman, I told you no.” He didn’t say anything. All I heard was silence. “Roman?”

  “Who’s Roman? Is he that hot naked guy on your bed?” A familiar voice asked.

  “Whh-oo’s there?” I asked scared.

  “Gee whiz Ella, you don’t even recognize your best friend’s voice?”

  “Riley?”

  “I’m only gone a few months and you replace me with a guy for a best friend,” she said appalled.

  I slowly pulled the curtain back and popped my head out. My eyes went wide with shock and I closed the curtain. Okay, I must be dreaming. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. The shower curtain flew open. “You bet your ass this is real. Now pay attention because what I have to tell you is important.”

  “Wait, you can read my mind?”

  “No, but I know you, and I know what you’re thinking,” she said, hands on hips.

  “You’re real? You’re really here?” I started to choke up as she nodded. I reached out and poked her to confirm.

  “Satisfied? Now as much as I’m enjoying this little reunion we don’t have a lot of time. And if I stare at you naked any longer I might turn gay.”

  “Oh Josie!” I cried, throwing my arms around her.

  “Whoa there…um, let’s not forget that you’re naked and wet and I’m starting to feel a little uncomfortable,” she said, handing me a towel.

  “Sorry,” I said, wrapping myself up. “What? How? Why?” I was so confused. “What are you? Are you like a ghost?” I asked, not understanding any other explanation for it and not to mention she was wearing the dark angel costume she died in.

  “I don’t have time to explain that right now.”

  “Wait, can he hear us?” I asked, referring to Roman.

  “Doubtful. He was passed out cold when I got here,” she said. “So who is he? Because I got to say –”

  “Josie,” I whispered harshly. “This is not the time.”

  “Right,” she said, her face turning serious again. “I have something very important to tell you.”

  “Wait, I had a dream like this with Kyle.”

  “I know.”

  “You know? So then it was real?”

  “Yes and no.” I started to rub my temples. None of this was making sense. “I know all this is confusing and I wish I could explain it to you, but I can’t. I’m not even supposed to be here right now and that is why I don’t have a lot of time. I’m here to tell you what Kyle tried to in your dream.”

  “So if that was real then Kyle is…”

  “Kyle’s fine. Trust me he’s fine. You have to listen to me,” she said, grabbing my shoulders to get my full attention. “Jack is planning to attack, again. At the dance. It’s going to be bad Ella. He’s planning a massacre.” She dropped her arms, allowing the information to soak in.

  “Okay, we’ll just cancel the dance and warn everyone and maybe they’ll close the school?”

  “No Ella,” she said, shaking her head. “You can’t stop it and you can’t forewarn anybody.”

  “Then what’s the point of me knowing, of you telling me. Why even bother?”

  “So you’re prepared. You can’t stop it, but you can change it. You can change how it ends.”

  “How Josie, this makes no sense?”

  “I know,” she said, taking my hand. “But Ella, you have to understand the only reason I’m here is so you know what’s coming. It’s not your time yet. You are destined for greatness and we need you here and we need you to survive this.”

  I wish people would stop telling me I’m destined for greatness.

  “But Josie I…”

  “Ella, I have to go,” she said, hugging me.

  “Josie no. I have so many more questions,” I said, holding on.

  “I know you do, but my time is up. Just remember, the dance is when he will attack.”

  “Josie wait!” I called as she slowly faded away.

  “Nice tats by the way,” she said as she faded completely out of view.

  My hand lingered in the air where she held it. Hit with the seriousness of the situation, my only response was to sit on the edge of the bathtub, bury my head in my hands, and cry. “Ella?” Roman knocked on the door. When I didn’t answer he opened the door and let himself in. “Ella, hey what’s wrong?” he asked, bending down in front of me. I wrapped my arms around him and he pulled me onto his lap while I balled my eyes out. “Shh…it’s okay.” He tried to comfort me by stroking my hair.

  “It’s up to you Ella. I know you’ll figure this out. You’ll do what’s right.” I heard Josie whisper to me. I pulled back. Her voice of encouragement gave me a little bit of strength to hold my head up. I needed to figure this out and sitting here crying was not the answer.

  I got up. I turned the water off and went out into my room and threw on some clothes. “Ella, what are you doing?” Roman asked, following me.

  “I have to go. I have to go see Gabe and Billy.”

  “Ella wait,” Roman said, reaching for me to stop me. “What’s going on?”

  “I can’t explain it…I just have to go.” I turned to leave but he stopped me.

  “Wait, I’m going with you,” he said, grabbing his clothes.

  I opened my mouth to protest but when I saw the look of fear on his face I couldn’t. “Hurry,” I said. He threw his clothes on in a flash and we were out the door running to the teachers’ dorm. I banged hard on Gabe’s door and hoped he was there. “Gabe!” I shouted, not caring if I woke anyone else up.

  Gabe opened the door disoriented. His normally combed hair was a mess and he had dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept in days. “Ella? What’s the matter?” he asked, quickly switching into guardian mode.

  “Jack, he’s coming,” I said.

  “Get inside, both of you,” Gabe said, letting us in. He gestured for us to have a seat. “What’s going on?”

  “Where’s Billy? I think he should be here too,” I said.

  “I’ll go get him,” Roman offered.

  “Third door on your right,” Gabe told him. As soon as the door closed behind him Gabe turned to me. “Ella, tell me now if there’s anything you need to tell me and only me. If you don’t want to discuss this in front of Roman let me know and I will make him leave.”

  “It’s okay. This concerns him to.”

  Roman came rushing back into the room with a half awake Billy. Roman sat down next to me on the couch and laced his fingers with mine. “What’s going on? Ella, you look like you saw a ghost,” Billy said as he pulled a shirt on over his head.

  “I think you might want to sit down,” I told Billy. He looked at me muddled and I hated what I had to say next. “I saw Josie.”

  “In a dream?” Billy asked.

  “No. She visited me while I was in the shower.”

  “Where was I when that happened?” Roman said jokingly. I gave him a look letting him know this wasn’t the time.

  “You actually saw her, as in her ghost?” Billy’s face turned pale.

  “I don’t know exactly, but she was real and she came to give me a message,” I said. I looked up at Billy and he looked like he was about to pass out. I w
alked over to him and took his hand. “Billy, if this is too much for you I can –”

  “No. Go on. I have to hear this,” he said. He looked me in the eyes and I could see he was fighting back the tears.

  “When you say you saw Josie you mean?” Gabe started.

  “I mean she was here in the flesh, so to speak. She said she had message and that was the only reason she was here.”

  “What did she say?” Billy asked, trying to be strong.

  “She told me that Jack was coming and he was planning a massacre.”

  Gabe and Billy sat down, letting the information soak in. “When?” Gabe asked.

  “Saturday. At the dance.”

  “That doesn’t give us a lot of time,” Roman said.

  Billy tensed and stood up. “I’ll be ready.”

  “We need to alert the school and cancel the dance,” Gabe said.

  “No, we can’t.”

  “Ella, I know sometimes these dances are important to you young ones.”

  “Don’t patronize me Gabe. This has nothing to do with the stupid dance. Trust me. I already said to Josie about doing that and she told me not to. She told me that we couldn’t.”

  “I don’t understand,” Billy said.

  “Sounds like a trick,” Roman chimed in.

  “Shut up! She would never!” Billy snapped, coming after Roman.

  Gabe stopped him and held him back. “Enough, fighting against each other is not going to help us.” Billy backed down. “Ella, I need you to tell me exactly what Josie said and all of it.”

  “That was just it. It was very vague. All she said was that he was coming and it was going to be bad. She said I couldn’t alert anybody and I didn’t understand why. All she said was that I wasn’t meant to stop it just control it. It’s not my time and that’s why she had to warn me.”

  “Anything else?” Billy asked.

  “No. She said she wasn’t even supposed to be here and that’s why she had limited time.”

  “I think I understand,” Gabe said, bowing his head.

  “I don’t. Will someone please explain it to me,” Roman said, standing up. “I’m not on board with just letting my friends get killed.

  “I won’t let that happen,” I said, standing next to him.