The Wanderers Beginning: The Wanderers, Reborn, & Unforgiven

by Jessica Miller

  “A lot of good that did,” I spat.

  “I know and I’m sorry. As soon as we heard we hopped on the next flight out. We thought the school was protected, but we were wrong.” I knew this was killing him. This meant that he failed and my father was not one to accept defeat.

  “Look dad, I understand you wanting to protect me, but I’m not a child. You can’t keep me locked away.” I watched his expression. I didn’t have to hear his thoughts to know he was thinking locking me away might not be a bad idea. “Okay seriously, I’m not dropping out of school and locking me away is not going to solve your problems,” I scowled, letting him know I knew where his mind was going.

  His face softened slightly. “Ella, I understand your need to get away after what happened. So I’m not going back on our deal. Your mom is currently at the school guaranteeing your spot back at school with few repercussions. As for your friends, they’re on their own. Now, I will wait for you and Dean while you pack your things and we can discuss this mess you caused and everything else.”

  “Dad, I’m not leaving. You don’t get it. I didn’t leave because I needed to get away. I left because I came to find Tristan.”

  “Ella,” he said softly, looking almost sad. “Tristan is dead.”

  “No. He’s not. He’s here in Ireland.”

  “Where?” he asked, testing me.

  “I haven’t found him yet, but I’m not leaving until I do,” I said, putting my foot down.

  He rubbed his forehead frustrated. “I’m not going to let you waste your time looking for some boy. You are coming back to the states with me. End of discussion.”

  “No I am not. How many times do I have to tell you I am an adult? I make my own decisions. “

  “Yes and every decision you have made lately has been a bad one. Now is not the time to be running around a foreign country on a hunch when you have a rogue vampire after you.”

  “I already proved I can handle Jack,” I said, holding my head high.

  I could see he was holding back, trying to control his anger. “What exactly happened?” he asked, needing to know. He crossed his arms and rested his chin on his hand. This was his ‘I’m concentrating’ face or what I like to call his ‘I dare you to lie to me because I’m already coming up with a punishment’ face.

  “Dad, I really don’t want to get into this now.” His expression let me know that now was my only option. I let out a breath and told him. “Jack collected an army and attacked the school. I went after him and he attacked my friends. In order to keep him from killing Riley I told him he could have me instead.” He sucked in a breath not believing how I could make such a – according to him – stupid decision. “I thought I could take him out before he…” I paused, knowing what I said next would kill him. So I thought better of it and skipped over a few parts. “Doesn’t matter. I’m here and I survived proving Jack cannot get me.”

  He eyed me for a moment before he turned around to make a phone call. He whispered so softly I couldn’t hear anything he was saying. He glanced at me from over his shoulder, made an uh-hum noise, and then he narrowed his eyes at me before he turned back around to finish his conversation. He hung up the phone and turned around to face me. “While I don’t agree with your ambush tactics, you somehow managed to succeed in your plan.” I smiled proud of myself. “I won’t tell you how stupid you were,” my smile faded. “But I will let this slide…for the meantime.” That meant he just needed more time to think of the right punishment. “Now, will you come to your senses and pack your things.”

  “No! You just don’t get it, do you?”

  “I will not let you screw up your life.”

  “If I chose to screw up my life than that’s my choice. I know I’m not perfect and I may not make the best decisions, but good or bad they’re my choices to make.”

  “Ella, I don’t have time for your childish dribble.”

  I laughed harshly. Clearly no matter what I said he wasn’t going to listen to me. “Just leave.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me. It doesn’t matter what I say. You’re not going to listen to me and I’m tired of living by your rule.” I crossed my arms and dared him to challenge me. I knew what was coming next would be ugly, but I was prepared for it.

  “Ella, do not defy me,” he growled. “If you don’t come back with me than don’t bother coming back at all.”

  His words hurt, but I refused to let it show. “For someone who claims they spent their life protecting me, you’re pretty quick to throw me aside.”

  “That’s not true and you know it. Do not twist my words around.”

  “Twist your words? Are you kidding right now? You just said if I do not leave with you then don’t bother coming back. You couldn’t have made it any clearer so thanks for that dad. Heard you loud and clear the first time.”

  “Why do you have to be so tiresome and argue with me all the time?” he threw his hands up in the air. “This behavior of yours has got to stop. I cannot allow it to go on any longer.”

  “Sorry I’m such a burden and cause trouble in your perfect little existence.” I stared him down and looked him straight in the eye.

  “Ella, you don’t just cause trouble you go looking for it. You know how poorly that makes us look?”

  “Well I guess you just got your wish then because I no longer want to be part of a family who only cares about how I make them look.”

  He looked at me, surprised by my reaction. “You don’t mean that.”

  “Yes I do. I’m tired of pretending to be something I’m not. I’m not the perfect daughter who obeys and beckons to your every need. I’m not going to be bullied by you anymore. I’m done being controlled by you and if don’t like it then you can leave.” I pointed to the door, proving I was serious.

  He stood there silently for a moment then he looked at Dean who I forgot was even there. He hadn’t said a word the entire time. “Dad, I’m sorry, but I’m staying with Ella.” He took a stand beside me. “And if that means I’m out too, well then, I’m out.” I took his hand and silently thanked him.

  Our dad stood there shocked. Then he left without another word.

  The door slammed so hard behind us I thought it would have fallen off it’s hinges. I felt my heart drop down to my stomach. I let out a breath and ran a shaky hand through my hair. My body was so numb I forgot Dean was holding my hand until he pulled me into him for a hug. “Are you okay?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, pulling away. “You didn’t have to do that. I mean there’s no sense in having dad pissed at both of us.”

  “No, but it was about time I took a stand too. I’m not going to deny that dad has been a little easier on Xander and I but that doesn’t mean we haven’t gotten our fair share of live by his rules or else speeches. And I know dad puts more pressure on you than us and that’s not fair. He shouldn’t have come down on you like that. We all make bad choices, but that’s just a part of life and that’s how we learn to make the right choices. I also believe you know in your heart what the right choices are.”

  “When did you get so smart?” I teased.

  “When you started being the bad seed,” he laughed. He made me smile which helped lesson some of the pain.

  “Hey,” Josie said, peeking her head around the corner. “Um, I kind of heard what happened. Well, we all heard. Are you guys okay?” I rushed Josie and nearly crushed her in a bear hug. “Oh, okay, not so good I take it.”

  After the fight with my dad the only thing I wanted to do was crawl into bed and cry, but that would accomplish nothing and I’ve spent enough of my time crying to never want to have to again. Instead I took a walk through the garden and tried to push everything from my mind. I still had an important task at hand and now that I was free from my father’s chains I could rest easily. At least that’s what I thought. My heart had a different story.

  I stopped down by the end of the pond and took a seat. I picked at the blades of grass, ripping them to sh
reds, and throwing them into the pond. “You keep that up and you will be replanting my grass tomorrow.” I let out a harsh laugh. Of course, next to my father, she was the last person I wanted to deal with. Deirdre took a seat next to me on the picky grass. I waited for a lecture but it never came. Instead she surprised me by taking my hand. “He will forgive you,” she said.

  I turned to look at her, stunned by her kindness. “I’m not so sure of that,” I replied. I tried really hard not to lose it, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I cried. Deirdre pulled me into her and I rested my head on her lap while my soul wept. She didn’t speak. She just sat, with her arm around me while I poured my heart out.

  The quiet was soothing and the garden was relaxing. Eventually I pulled myself together and sat up. I turned to her and she just looked at me with sadness in her eyes. She wiped away my leftover tears. “Princesses don’t cry,” she winked. Before I could comment she started to stand. “Time for bed.”

  I looked at my watch. “It’s like seven thirty?” She narrowed her eyes, showing me the Deirdre I knew. “Okay,” I said, getting up to help her. She slipped her arm through mine as I helped her walk back to the house. “Um, Deirdre? I just wanted to say thank you.”

  She gave me a slight smile before her normal scowl returned. “You complain too much.”

  “What?” I said, looking at her confused as hell. “How was that complaining?” She ignored me and went back into the house. I just shook my head. I was slowly learning with Deirdre not much of what she says makes any sense. Now I knew where Tristan got it from.

  Everyone else was in the living. When I entered they all turned to me expectantly. “I think it’s safe to say we can check back into a hotel,” I told them.

  “You don’t have to. You can stay here,” Josef said. The look on his face said he didn’t want us to leave.

  “That you, but we couldn’t impose.”

  “You’re not imposing,” he said with a slight plea in his eyes.

  “Josef,” Caleb put a kind hand on his arm.

  “Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for us. I don’t know how I could ever repay you.”

  “Just bring my grandson back,” Caleb smiled, giving me a gentle hug.

  “I will do whatever it takes to find him,” I promised.

  We gathered our things, said our goodbyes, and headed out to the car. Since my dad knew where we were there was no point in hiding anymore. It was safe to go back to a hotel. Plus I could not take another night of getting beat up by Josie or sleeping on that couch.

  I was the first to wake in the morning. Since it was early I decided to let everyone else sleep. I went downstairs to get some breakfast. I sat in the little café, waiting for my food, and stared out the large glass windows. After the waiter refreshed my orange juice, I took out my phone and placed it on the table. I knew I would have to do it eventually and the longer I waited the worse it would get. I sat there and stared at it as if it was a ticking time bomb. Before I lost all nerve, I picked it up, and listened to my voicemails. The first one was from Riley.

  Ella, where are you? Billy and Josie are gone and so are Cameron and Dean, but I’m pretty sure they’re with you. I’m sorry about everything that happened and can understand why you would want to leave, but running away from your problems is not going to help. I’m sorry I…I didn’t mean to lecture…I just…What I’m trying to say is I miss you and you need to come back. And well I just hope you’re okay…please call me.

  It felt good to hear Riley’s voice. It made me wish I could have brought her with. I sent her a quick text that said –

  I’m fine. Promise, talk soon don’t contact me I’ll contact u.

  I couldn’t call her because I knew if she picked up I wouldn’t be able to lie to her. I also knew Roman would attack her with questions if he found out she heard from me and I couldn’t let her go through that. The best was to keep it short and sweet. The waiter delivered my food and I suddenly didn’t think eating was such a good idea anymore. I pushed the plate away and let out a breath before I listened to my next message.

  It was Roman.

  Ella, hey…I don’t know where you are or what’s going on? I’m sorry if I did anything. Ugh!

  He cried. I could hear the frustration in his voice.

  Ella, everyone is worried about you. Riley, Sienna, Dixon, Gabe, well Gabe doesn’t really say much, but I know he’s worried. We just need you back…I need you. So please whatever is going on. Whatever it is…I’ll help you. Just call me please…I love you.

  I could no longer eat. The sight of my food made me want to throw up. I left the café and headed back up to my room. I didn’t even bother listening to the rest of the messages knowing I wouldn’t be able to handle it.

  Both Josie and Cameron were gone. Well, one of them was. I could hear the shower running, but wasn’t sure who was in there until I heard Josie bust out the chorus to ‘Baby got back’. I smiled weakly as I crawled back into bed and pulled the covers up over my head. Five minutes later I heard the shower turn off and Josie step out of the bathroom. She walked straight over to the bed and pulled the covers back. “Good morning sleeping beauty,” she smiled, then took a second look at me. “What’s the matter?”

  “I listened to the voicemails from Riley and Roman,” I said softly.

  “Oh honey, why would you torture yourself like that?”

  “I don’t know,” I shrugged.

  She sat down next to me. “Don’t worry. I’m sure once Riley knows the real reason you left she’ll understand and as far as Roman, well. We’ll figure that out later. No need to worry about it now.”

  “I guess.”

  “Why don’t you go take a nice long bath? Josef called while you were away and he said he’d stop by around noon.” I took Josie’s advice and took a very long, very needed, bath.

  After my soak, I got dressed, and joined everyone in what was now the boy’s room, where they had already ordered lunch. I realized skipping breakfast wasn’t such a good idea because now I was starving. Josef showed up sometime after we had finished eating. “Hey Ella, I wanna help.”

  I looked at Josef confused. “With the search. I still want to help you guys if you don’t mind?”

  “Um yeah, that would be great,” I said, giving him a small smile.

  After lunch I was ready to get back into the swing of things, but both Billy and Dean thought it would be better if we went in small groups instead one big one to help cover more area and seem less intimidating to the locals.

  Over the next few days Billy and Dean took turns with Josie, Cameron, Josef, and me and continued to search for Tristan. My mom and Roman called almost every day and I avoided their calls every day.

  Each night when we came back my hopes were shot down. We were coming up empty. We got a few clues but nothing substantial. The stress was getting to me so Josie suggested, more like demanded, I take the night off. She promised they would still go out and look, but I had to stay in. I knew I was driving her nuts so I allowed her this reprieve. I would be lying if I said I didn’t need a break.

  I stayed in the room while everyone went out and continued to look. I flipped endlessly through the channels not able to relax. My phone rang and I jumped up to grab it. My heart stopped when I saw it was Roman calling. This time I didn’t ignore it. “Hi,” I breathed.

  “Ella, oh thank God. Are you okay? What’s going on? Where are you?”

  “I’m fine,” I said.

  I heard him breathe a sigh of relief. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for days.”

  “I know,” I admitted.

  “You knew?”

  “Yes. I’m sorry, but I just needed some time.”

  “Okay,” he paused. “I get that, but I just wish you would have said something to me. You were gone and I thought…I thought the worst.”

  “I’m sorry,” I repeated, not knowing what else to say.

  “You already said that.”

  “Roman, I
don’t know what I can tell you except that I am fine. You don’t have to worry about me. I promise. I just needed to get away for a little.”

  “Where are you?”

  “That, I can’t tell you.”

  “Why not?” he asked a little perturbed.

  “I just can’t,” I said, biting the inside of my cheek to keep from crying. I hated lying to Roman, but this is a conversation I didn’t want to have over the phone.

  “You’re looking for him, aren’t you?” His voice was measured. It was hard to tell if he was pissed or not. I looked up at the ceiling to keep from losing it. “Ella, please don’t lie to me.”

  “I don’t know what you what me to say?”

  “The truth.”

  I bit my lip. “Roman, I love you. You know that, right?” When he didn’t say anything right away I felt a pinching pain in my chest.

  “Yeah,” he replied, unconvincingly.

  I put my head in my hands trying to find the best way to explain it so he would understand, but to be honest, if I were him I wouldn’t want to listen to anything I had to say. “Roman, I…He’s alive and I just have to confirm it for myself, that’s it. I just need to see that he’s okay.”

  There was a long pause before he said, “I understand.”

  “You do?”

  “Yes and no. I get why you have to know. If it was me I would have done the same thing.”

  “So…you’re not mad at me?”

  He didn’t answer me. Instead he just said, “I have to go. Someone’s coming.”

  “Wait, Roman, I love you,” I spit out quickly.

  “Goodbye Ella,” were his final words before I heard a click on the phone. Those two words felt like a crushing wave. I had a feeling this was the end of our relationship. My heart hurt so badly. I felt like someone had squeezed it until there was nothing left. I could no longer hold in my tears. No reason to hold back any longer I let them fall. I didn’t blame him for being mad at me. I brought this on myself. I didn’t deserve him. I tried to convince myself he was better off, but the pain I felt inside was too much. I crawled into bed and covered myself with the blankets and balled my eyes out.