Mr. Darcy's Promise
Page 22
“Thank goodness,” Darcy said fervently. He stroked her brow, holding her hair out of her face. “Are you all right, Elizabeth?” Surely she could not have fainted for more than a few minutes. His stomach twisted. I cannot even think of losing her! He watched her carefully, noting her look of confusion and the difficulty her eyes faced in focusing. Was it my fault she fell in the water? How will I ever forgive myself if she is seriously injured?
Elizabeth turned her head slowly to face a still-blurred Mr. Darcy, and then gazed around. Hadn’t she seen someone else? “Where is the other person who was here?” Her gaze was sharpening with every moment. Once she was able to semi-clearly focus on Mr. Darcy’s face, she saw his features tighten with concern.
“It is only I, Elizabeth. No one else is here. How do you feel?” Please tell me you are well! I cannot bear the idea that I might have injured you! The fact that she was making complete sentences was reassuring but why was she asking who the other person was?
“Better now, I think,” she said slowly. “My head hurts,” she added. It was quite an obvious statement, but also one that she could hardly avoid making. She didn’t want to worry him too much. She was surely fine; and she could see that he was quite distressed enough without news of her double and blurred vision. It was improving with every moment, and she continued to blink in order to help herself focus. She reached her head back to her hair, tracing the wet and tangled locks. “Where are my pins?”
“I had to inspect your head when you fainted,” he explained quickly. “They are right here.” He held them out to her, frowning a little as her fingers fumbled in their quest to gather them up. She had not gotten far in pinning up her damp curls before her arms fell slack to her sides. “Do you need help?” he asked.
“No.” She closed her eyes for a moment. “I think I will just leave it down. It is so hard to pin while tangled and wet like this.” She refrained from adding that raising her arms made her nausea return.
“Is there anything I can do for you? I think there is some wine in the satchel with the bread and cheese.” He told himself he needed to do more than watch her movements like a hawk.
“Maybe later. I think now I just want to sit down for a little while before heading home.”
In spite of his worry, he smiled at the idea that she could now call Pemberley her home. “It is still early,” he assured her. “We have plenty of time before we need to head back.” He tried to remember all that he had heard about blows to the head. So far, she did not seem too grievously hurt, but he did not want to see her suddenly decline in front of him.
He helped her move over to a more comfortable spot, but didn’t go far. They sat together on the grass for more than an hour, simply talking while Mr. Darcy continued assessing her and her condition. They commented on how unusually warm it was for late October, about Georgiana’s state of mind, and about the Autumn Festival. And they even talked about the chicks, but the one thing they did not discuss was what was forefront in their minds. Although he tried to find ways to construe it differently, Mr. Darcy could not help but think that for the first time, she had truly wanted him to kiss her. Her negative opinions of him surely were changing. She was back to being her teasing impertinent self, and she smiled even more often than she ever did at Longbourn. She felt comfortable taking her shoes off in front of him and letting him glimpse her ankles and legs. But most importantly, she seemed to enjoy and sought out his company. Yes, it is about time I make due on a certain promise and tell her why I married her. He knew telling her while she was still wet and complaining of a headache wasn’t the most romantic time or place to tell her he loved her, but he felt a like a great burden was lifted now that he felt it was appropriate to tell her. He had been patient this long, he could be patient a little longer.
Elizabeth was feeling much better, although she still felt weak and ill when she turned too quickly. She tried to remain as still as possible while continuing to talk. After the first hour she began to feel dry in her mouth. “Is there something besides wine in the satchel? I am quite thirsty.” She wanted to rinse her mouth out a little too.
Mr. Darcy was relieved to hear her voice a need that he could help with. He could tell she felt worse than what she let on. He quickly reached over for the satchel. “There is only a wine bottle and the bread and cheese. But if you do not want the wine we could get water out of the stream.”
“Maybe wine would be fine and then the water.” She was hoping for a little pain relief from the wine, but knew she didn’t need anything else altering her vision or equilibrium. At least her nausea was gone. She watched as he opened it and poured her a drink. She took a cautious sip. “That tastes wonderful,” she confessed.
“I think you are just thirsty,” Mr. Darcy said, looking a little amused in spite of himself. “It is not the finest Pemberley has to offer. You should probably eat something. It has been quite a while since breakfast.”
Elizabeth looked at the sky to gauge what time of day it was. The sun was lower in the sky and so it had to be mid-afternoon. She knew it took several hours to get to the stream and knew it would be a slower decent back to Pemberley now that she had a headache. “I will eat a little, but we should be heading back soon.”
She gingerly ate, and was pleased that her stomach seemed to approve. After eating, she had the courage to try standing with support. In spite of some lightheadedness, she found herself able to walk fairly easily, although her head throbbed a great deal.
Darcy reached for her arm to steady her, waiting for her to proceed. Once they started down the mountain, he was careful not to let go of her arm. He kept glancing in her direction to assess how she was doing. Although she sometimes reached a hand to her head, and seemed to blink frequently, she seemed to do well as long as she held on to his arm. The descent down the mountain was indeed slower, and around dusk they finally made it to the gardens of Pemberley. Elizabeth took a deep breath before she spoke.
“William? I feel I need to ask something again and this time I want a direct answer.”
He looked to her. He could tell she was quite weary, and he suspected she still had a headache, but she had not complained once in the three hours it took to get home. Her face was serious and his heart began to pound again, this time with a different sort of concern. “I will be as direct as I can be.”
“Why did you marry me? You could have said no to my father, and no one would have blamed you. And yet here we are, married.” In order to avoid seeing his expression, she gazed ahead at the gardens in front of them. Her forehead creased up at the sight of a groom running through the garden in their direction. “Do you see him running? What could be the problem?” She pointed to the groom who was closing the distance fast.
“David, what in the world is wrong?”
“Sir, there is an emergency and you are needed immediately!” David had caught up to them now.
“Well, what is it man?”
David looked to Mrs. Darcy and back again to Mr. Darcy. “Perhaps I can inform you in your study.”
Darcy’s brow furrowed and he looked to Elizabeth, “It appears I must leave you sooner than I would like. I will leave you in the care of Mrs. Reynolds.” She nodded. They walked the rest of the way to the house. When they got to the door he gave her arm a squeeze and dropped her arm. He then leaned towards her and whispered, “I keep my promises, Elizabeth, and I will tell you soon why I married you. I want nothing more than to tell you why I married you.” He told Mrs. Reynolds briefly about the head injury, looking Elizabeth over one last time before he hurriedly walked to his study with David.
Elizabeth watched as her husband left. Without his steady strong arm to hold onto, her head had started to spin again. She declined Mrs. Reynolds’ arm but asked that the kitchen begin heating water for a bath, asking that Serafina be sent to her room. She picked her way up the stairs, finally sinking down in front of her vanity, proud of herself for not having fallen in front of the servants. She brushed her fingers down her
dress, dislodging the dirt and moss. She did look a fright, she reflected ruefully. She reached back and unbuttoned her dress as best she could before Serafina entered to help.
“Thank you,” Elizabeth said once the dress was safely off. “I would appreciate a bath, but first a glass of water?” She settled back down in front of her dressing table, not bothering to remove her chemise and petticoat before the water was brought to her room. She didn’t quite have the strength to stand. Serafina nodded and closed the dressing room door behind her.
Elizabeth wondered what kind of emergencies Pemberley would have that would make him leave so suddenly. She hoped it wasn’t too serious. She finally let herself think about the “almost kiss.” She remembered his eyes being dark— darker than usual, and hearing his gentle encouraging words. “What was I going to do, Elizabeth? I must know.” Both his eyes and words had been full of hope. He had wanted to kiss her. It made her heart beat faster just thinking about it. She found herself feeling embarrassed for being so bold to have almost asked him to kiss her. She heard a knock on the door. That was quick, she thought. “Enter,” she said, reaching for her brush.
She did not turn at first, but then after hearing nothing from Serafina, she glanced behind her to see William. He stood there with his hand on the door handle, lingering for what seemed like minutes, but in reality it was probably only a second or two.
Mr. Darcy finally averted his eyes after those seconds. Elizabeth’s face was suffused with shock and embarrassment. “Pardon me, I just came to tell you . . . never mind, I can see this is not the time. I did not mean to invade your privacy. Forgive me.” He closed the door behind him. Oh dear Lord! I just walked in on Elizabeth undressed! But she had said “enter! He would never have knowingly intruded on her privacy like that! But she had said “enter!”
When he passed Serafina in the hall, he realized she must have meant to admit Serafina rather than him. He hoped this experience would not be a step backwards in their relationship. He had tried very hard to offer her the privacy she had needed over the last month. He had done everything in his power to keep his thoughts and hands to himself even though her beautiful face was near him so often. He had kept his promise and he did not want her to feel she could not trust him. He resolved to apologize after the emergency with the tenant was finished.You can trust me, Elizabeth! I will not do anything against your will!
Regardless of his resolve, he allowed himself a smile as he remembered their moment in the stream where it was obvious what her will was at that time. He allowed himself to imagine such a kiss happening and didn’t chastise himself in the slightest for doing so. His imagination was quite keen, and perhaps a little repetitive to his delight.
*****
After Mr. Darcy left, Elizabeth turned back around to the mirror to examine herself. Her chemise covered her breasts, but left her shoulders bare. The material was light, but not so thin as to be indecent, and luckily her petticoat covered everything beneath her waist. She realized she had not said one word to him once he entered. She could see the mortification flush his cheeks pink. She laughed embarrassedly at the incident. There was nothing she could do now but see the humor in it. Knowing him, he was probably reproving himself about it, but she could not help but laugh at the memory of his face. They had been husband and wife now for over a month and this was the closest thing to intimacy they had so far. She laughed again.
She heard another knock at the door, “Who is it?” she asked this time.
“Serafina, madam.”
Serafina entered, leading in the servants who carried the hot water. Elizabeth sank back into the bath, enjoying the feel of the warm water encircling her as Serafina washed her hair. Afterwards, Elizabeth insisted that she dress for dinner in spite of the early hour. She didn’t feel lightheaded any longer, but still wanted to rest for a short time before the meal. Serafina plaited her hair and then secured it in a secure topknot. As she finished, Elizabeth hoped that tonight she and William would have a moment to talk, and maybe a chance to finish what was started in the stream. She smiled to herself and laid back against her chaise.
It seemed like her eyes were closed for only a few moments, but after that time she was awoken by Serafina. Elizabeth cautiously sat up.
“It is time for dinner, madam.”
She tried to stand, but found that she could not quite overcome her weakness and fatigue, and Serafina helped her rise to her feet. Elizabeth blinked: her head spun a little, her double-vision recurring before she steadied herself.
Serafina clucked tenderly as she examined Elizabeth’s hair. “I will need to fix your hair again, I am afraid. Why did you not tell me about hitting your head? I could have been more gentle in washing and fixing your hair! The master told me about your fall and he wants me to keep an eye on you.” Serafina’s eyes were dark with concern.
“Is he back?”
“No, I am afraid he just came back to change. He said he would probably not return until well after dinner. He also told me to tell you he was sorry. He was quite insistent that I relay his apologies.” She brushed slowly and carefully through Elizabeth’s hair before she began to plait it again. “I am so sorry, madam, that I did not notice this bump earlier.”
Elizabeth could imagine Mr. Darcy giving Serafina the cryptic message apologizing for intruding earlier, but making it sound like he was apologizing for missing dinner. “You know, I got this bump on my head because I was following your advice.”
“Which advice were you attempting to follow, madam? Because I doubt I ever told you to fall into a river and break open your head.”
Elizabeth laughed, enjoying Serafina’s tart response. Speaking with her was beginning to feel increasingly like it did when she talked with Jane. “I was about to ask him to kiss me when our feet slipped on the rocks.” She saw Serafina’s gaze rise in surprise.
“Truly? And did he kiss you?”
“No, not yet. It did not quite get that far because I blacked out then. I have never been so nervous! It may seem like I have confidence but I do not want him to think me wanton!”
Serafina smiled. “I am sure Mr. Darcy would not think you wanton. His valet, Martin, is sure of it.”
Hearing the revelation that Serafina knew what his valet thought reminded her that servants talk amongst themselves. She was not quite sure how she felt about this. “Serafina, I know we have talked about a great deal, but I hope what we say to each other is kept in confidence.”
“Do not you worry, my loyalty is to you and you alone. Mr. Darcy knows nothing of what you have disclosed, but if I may be so bold, I think he should know how you feel. May I say one other thing?” She twisted the braid up high on Elizabeth’s head and pinned it.
“Certainly.”
“You deserve him. He is the best of men and he has given his heart to the best of women.”
*****
Dinner was a quiet ordeal. Georgiana was still somber and Richard had gone to help with the emergency. Elizabeth’s head was still sore, and so she and her sister-in-law made poor company for each other. Afterwards, Georgiana excused herself, leaving Elizabeth alone.
Elizabeth made her way to the front door to speak with the butler. “Mr. Reynolds, have you heard any updates on the emergency that took Mr. Darcy away?”
“No madam, the situation is the same as he told you.” Mr. Reynolds said.
Elizabeth didn’t quite understand what he meant because William never came and told her what the emergency was. She hadn’t seen him again since the scene in her dressing room. Awareness dawned on her. He probably had meant to tell her what was going on, but the state of her dress, or undress, prevented it. She was going to have to extract the information casually if she were to calm her mind. It had been over two hours since he had left and she was beginning to worry. What would keep him out after dark? “I was hoping for some more information.”
Reynolds said, “The last update was that the fire was still going strong and threatening the orchard.”
“Not Pemberley’s orchard, madam, a tenant’s orchard. The house was engulfed, however, and is a complete loss.”
“Thank you. Will you please tell Mr. Darcy I am in the library when he gets in?” Her mind was reeling. William was out fighting a house fire?
“I do not think it will be for some time though. I am instructed to make sure you rest and take care of yourself. Perhaps you should retire and I will have him wake you when he gets in.”
Elizabeth shook her head, “No, certainly not. I will just be in the library reading. You will tell him when he comes in?”
“As you wish. Can I send for something? Would you like a blanket or a fire started?”
She nodded. “Please. Thank you, Reynolds.” She left to go to her chambers to fetch her book. Her head was spinning, but not because she had hit her head earlier. This time it was imagining his handsome face and warm hands getting burned, or the building collapsing and trapping him inside. Her heart ached at the sudden thought of losing him. I cannot lose him! He means too much to me! She felt her worry and pain grow with each step up the stairs. If only there was something I could do! She reached her chamber and retrieved her book from the nightstand. Sense and Sensibility, by a Lady. It was the book William had picked out for her the day he found her sliding on the ladder. She was only halfway through it, but had enjoyed it so far, and reading it now would be a comfort to her.
By the time she reached the library the maid was nearly finished starting the fire. “Thank you, Ann. Do you think you could bring a bottle of wine as well? My head is still throbbing, and it seemed to help some before.” What she really wanted was something for her nerves, not her head, and wine would do the trick. Ann curtsied and left, leaving Elizabeth to the empty library and the small consolation of her book. The cataloging process didn’t seem to be making much progress, as there were books everywhere still. Elizabeth shifted over a pile on the chaise and settled there before opening her book to begin to read.