Mr. Darcy's Promise

by Jeanna Ellsworth

  She has been worrying about where she will sleep? He could not believe that the question of where Bingley would put them was one that he hadn’t thought about until that moment. Bingley had plenty of spare rooms, but her worry about Bingley’s assumptions was not an incorrect one. Of course Bingley would assume they would prefer to share a bed, being newly married as they were. How could this not have occurred to him before now? He had no such problem on the road because the inns always had two rooms. She had never had to express such anxiety before because she did not have anyone but himself making those decisions, and God knew he was fully aware of the precarious relationship. Now Bingley would be making such a decision, and most likely it would be wrongly made. He could see now why she was so distressed.

  To admit that they required two guest rooms meant admitting to their unique relationship, and this was something that Darcy did not wish Bingley to know. He hadn’t told anyone, not even his valet (although he was sure Martin suspected something) and he was not about to start telling Bingley. He watched Elizabeth’s eyes gloss over and saw her blink the tears away. Dash it! Of all the situations to be confronted with! If he did not take Bingley aside and explain a few things, then Elizabeth would be pushed into something he promised he would not do. He had promised her that physical intimacy would not happen until she wished for it, and his realization of her anxiety hit him hard in the chest. She was still not ready. He certainly had not expected to share a bed that night, but he had hoped that her feelings had changed. He had even imagined that she would come to him and express her changed feelings. There was no easy way out of the situation. But there was truly only one way to solve the dilemma. He would not go back on his promise to Elizabeth. She needed to know she could trust him. He took a deep breath. “Elizabeth, I will take Bingley aside and make sure he knows we need two rooms.”

  “Thank you, William, I wish I could explain more . . .” She was relieved that she didn’t have to explain more.

  He was the one to look away then. His chest hurt like it had been crushed. She still needed more time. How could he have let his imagination run wild last night? His weakness there underscored the hurt he felt at knowing she did not want him that way fully yet. He ached to smother her with kisses and convince her of his love. She had seemed to enjoy those and had responded quite positively to them. She had even asked him to kiss her on the ride from Pemberley. He once again said a silent prayer, asking for more self-control and patience. Then he said another silent prayer that he would have the courage to speak to Bingley. His third silent prayer asked that Elizabeth’s feelings would change. At the end of that prayer he added, soon. These three prayers were simple and to the point. He opened his heart to the Lord and prayed for that which he needed most. He needed to trust that she would eventually come around. There was more and more evidence of progress being made, but he was not a perfect man. He did not have the emotional or physical strength of ten men. He thought he had been a patient man before he met Elizabeth, but he had been nearly driven to madness at the restraint he had to exercise in her presence. He recommitted himself to be stronger than he had been, kinder than he had been, gentler than he had been, and more chaste in his thoughts than he had been. It was obvious that letting his imagination run free was more dangerous than anything he had done in his life thus far. She needed more from him, and he would just have to find the strength to give it to her.

  Soon, he prayed again.

  *****

  Jane was, of course, invited over for dinner at Netherfield and the men and the ladies were separated as was custom afterwards. It was so good to see Jane and witness the obvious love between her and Bingley. Elizabeth had planned to visit Longbourn tomorrow morning to see all her family while Mr. Darcy did his business with Wickham, but for now she could use the time she had to catch up with Jane. Elizabeth and Jane sat close to each other, discussing Jane’s engagement and the two kisses Jane and Bingley had already. Elizabeth laughed inside thinking that she had been married for about five weeks and had only shared two kisses with her husband. Their conversation kept them confined to a corner of the room, talking in hushed tones, nearly forgetting that Miss Bingley was still in the room.

  “Where is my brother and Mr. Darcy? It is not like them to be gone so long! I wanted to show Mr. Darcy the new piano piece I have been working on,” Miss Bingley said exasperatedly.

  Jane turned and spoke up, “They have been gone quite a while now, have they not? Do not worry, my dear Caroline. I am sure that they are just distracted by a billiards game. Ever since Mr. and Mrs. Hurst left he has not had anyone to play with.” The sisters had lost track of time as they caught up and hadn’t realized how long the men had been gone.

  All night, Elizabeth couldn’t help but notice Miss Bingley’s attentions to her husband. Before the dinner, she kept trying to engage him in conversation while excluding Elizabeth. She even went so far to turn her back to Elizabeth as she spoke to him. The dinner seating arrangements, which she knew Miss Bingley had made, put Miss Bingley between her brother and Mr. Darcy, leaving Elizabeth down the table and across from Jane and Mr. Bingley. Elizabeth had assumed that Miss Bingley’s infatuation with winning Mr. Darcy’s ten thousand pounds a year would end after his marriage. Apparently she was wrong. She was somewhat perturbed that Miss Bingley would be so open with such attentions, but then she dismissed it because, in the long run, Miss Bingley didn’t matter to Elizabeth. She had never desired her good opinion and wouldn’t start doing so now. After all, it was still very evident that Mr. Darcy was doing everything besides outright rudeness to dissuade her.

  “They simply cannot play billiards that long and leave us waiting for them! It has been nearly an hour and a half! I am going to see what is so distracting.” With a huff, Miss Bingley left the room in search of the men.

  Jane watched her leave and then whipped her head around to look at Elizabeth, “So? You seem quite happy now. Are you glad he married you? Is it just wonderful to be married? Oh, Lizzy, I cannot wait! Less than a month and I shall be as happy as you two are! I knew you would learn to love him. I can just tell. How did it happen? Was it something he did or said? When did you fall in love?”

  Elizabeth laughed. “Jane, Jane, stop! I insist! I cannot even begin to tell you one answer if you ask three more questions before I have a chance to speak!” Jane sighed and put her hands in her lap and just patiently smiled, but Elizabeth knew from experience that her sister would not be content until she had her answers. “If you insist, I shall tell you. It has not been easy; we have had our stormy moments but yes, I think we are in love now. At least I know I love him. I am fairly certain that he returns the feelings, but he still has not actually declared himself. I cannot fix the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. You asked when I fell in love? Well, I was in the middle before I knew I had begun. One moment I was nervous around him, the next I was nervous without him. There were times that I could see clearly, and others where my mind and heart would battle trying to make sense of what I was feeling. It has seemed so quick, but yet time feels like it is at a standstill as well. I do not know how to describe it, but I love William so much my heart jumps out of my chest every time he smiles.”

  Jane sighed, clasped her hands at her chest, and leaned back against the chaise. “I still get goosebumps when he puts my arm in his.”

  Elizabeth teased, “And when has my husband put your arm in his?”

  Jane looked alarmed, “Not Mr. Darcy, Mr. Bingley! I was talking about Charles!”

  Elizabeth let out a laugh. “I know, Jane! I was only teasing. Have we been apart so long that you have forgotten how I love to tease?” She heard the men enter the room.

  “Yes, my wife does know how to tease.” Mr. Darcy said as he walked their way. He bumped into a table and hit his knee. Elizabeth was surprised to hear him curse under his breath. “Excuse me, I am afraid I was not quite the gentleman there. My apologies.”

  Elizabeth studied her hu
sband’s gait, realizing after a moment that he had been drinking in their time apart. His feet seemed to shuffle slightly and as he walked, he reached for objects to support him. She stood up and walked over to him. He reached out to her and draped his heavy arm around her shoulders. She could smell the alcohol on his breath. She led him to the couch and helped him sit down before she evaluated Bingley. He seemed to be standing upright and walking normally. So it was just her husband who was well into his cups? They were somewhat by themselves so she asked him quietly, “Are you well? I have never seen you act so.”

  He leaned into her and slurred his words slightly. “I do not usually drink but I needed a little liquid courage tonight.”

  Elizabeth wondered what he meant by that. “I do not see why being at Netherfield requires courage.”

  Darcy looked at her. His words, when he spoke, were biting and sarcastic. “Do you not? I thought it was you who wanted me to talk to Bingley about our . . . how did you put it? Sleeping arrangements . . .” His mouth was dry, and he found that he needed another drink. “Bingley! I left my glass in the library. Fill it up and bring it to me!”

  Why was her husband being so rude? He would never order Bingley around like that! Elizabeth saw Bingley’s expression shadow with concern as he glanced first at Elizabeth and then back to Mr. Darcy. Bingley dropped Jane’s hands and left to go get the requested drink. Elizabeth turned her attention back to Mr. Darcy, “So have you talked to him then? Is it all settled?”

  Darcy let out a grunt of a laugh. “I will speak with him. You do not need to fret. I said I would do it and I will. Do you doubt my trustworthiness?” He caught his speech ending with somewhat of a snarl. He hadn’t meant to snap at her. His frustrations with himself and his tardiness in broaching the topic yet with Bingley just increased his poor mood. “I am sorry; there is a reason I do not drink,” he admitted. “I tend to get is a sour mood when I do,” he slurred. He saw Bingley approach with his drink and his thirst worsened. He licked his lips and reached out for it. “Thank you,” he said to Bingley. He took a large swallow, downing a third of the glass at once.

  *****

  Elizabeth reluctantly said goodnight to Jane, and afterwards, encountered a maid who was sent to help her undress and prepare for the night. Elizabeth dismissed her; simply being back in Meryton made her feel less dependent on servants. After all, at Longbourn she had to share one maid with five sisters. Although she missed Serafina’s company, she was almost grateful that she would have some private time to reflect on everything. She brushed out her hair methodically, contemplating William’s behavior that night. He had not stopped drinking over the next two hours and his words had become more and more slurred. When he rose to bid farewell to Jane, he had stumbled on his own feet and nearly fallen to the ground. Bingley had expressed a desire to retire early, immediately after Elizabeth did, but Darcy insisted that they play another game of billiards. She remembered the look on Bingley’s face. It was the same one, she knew, that she had on her own right now. Bingley had to be equally disconcerted by the sight of Darcy intoxicated. And she, of course, knew the real reason Darcy had wanted to have a private moment with Bingley, but Bingley did not. It was then that Elizabeth encouraged them to bet on the game; it was probably the first time in a long time that Bingley could beat Darcy, considering the state her husband was in, but it would also provide them with a place to speak privately and safely. Bingley seemed to get the hint that Elizabeth wanted the two to play even though it was getting late and had conceded. She had tried to make eye contact with William before retiring, but he seemed to be dizzy, as he was holding firmly to the table in the vestibule and was found rubbing his eyes.

  She looked at the trunks that lay in the corner of the room. His had not yet been moved, and still remained in the room along with hers. She wrapped her robe around her and tried to tie the top. I really should have brought a new robe. The broken ribbon on this one is making it very difficult to tie. She knew as soon as she tried to lay down, a servant would come in to take his trunks to his new room so she took her time getting ready for bed. She rubbed her lavender oils on her neck, she plaited and then re-plaited her hair, took the book she had brought with her, and began to read. She kept waiting for that knock on the door. She even twice thought she heard one, but opened the door to an empty hallway. What could be taking so long? She read further but her mind refused to focus on the page. She turned down one side of the bed and propped the pillows up and sat down. It wasn’t that she wasn’t tired; her eyes were quite heavy, but she didn’t want to miss the knock and leave William without his trunks.

  She felt chilled, and pulled up the covers to her waist before trying to read again. Plenty of time had elapsed. She estimated that it had been almost two hours, which meant he had probably gone to bed without his trunks. She sighed. She hadn’t meant to inconvenience him with her request, but she concluded that he had found another place to sleep. She untied her robe and was about to blow out the candle when she finally heard the sounds of voices outside her door. She quickly tried to retie her robe but when she heard a crash and thud just outside her door, she hurried to open it.

  Bingley had been struggling with the weight of Darcy’s body on the stairs, and had been grateful to reach the doorway. He realized with a sinking heart that getting him off the floor of the hallway was going to be difficult. He heard their bedroom door open and saw Elizabeth’s silhouette looking down at them. He grunted as he pulled Darcy to a sitting position. “Come on, Darcy, we made it this far. Up on your feet.” He put Darcy’s arm around his shoulders and saw that Elizabeth had come up on the other side to help. The two of them lifted, but when that didn’t work, he took his hand behind Darcy’s back and grabbed a handful of his breeches. “Elizabeth, on the count of three— just lift with your knees, I do not want you hurting yourself! One, two, three!” They got him to his feet and started progressing towards the open door. Darcy seemed to have woken up slightly and was moving his feet, but his balance was off. He was leaning too far forward to support himself. They had to hurry to keep up with the forward momentum lest they lose him again. Bingley adjusted his grip on Darcy’s pants and Darcy seemed to stand up straighter. “Elizabeth, I think I have him. Pull back the covers and I will put him on the bed.”

  Elizabeth didn’t know what to do. Bingley was going to place her nearly unconscious husband on her bed! Darcy had not told him they needed two rooms? She could see they had no other choice at the moment. She would have to figure something out later because Darcy was swaying quite a bit from side to side. She cautiously let go and did as Bingley had told her.

  “There now Darcy, turn around and sit down.” Bingley nudged Darcy’s feet around using his own, and then pulled and guided his buttocks around by the pants he still held tightly. He didn’t have to tell him to sit down a second time. Darcy’s knees gave out and he buckled backwards. Elizabeth let out a noise of dismay. Bingley pulled on the pants. “Take his legs and lift them up.” He was using all his strength to keep him from sliding to the floor. He inhaled and pulled his shoulders up higher. Once they got his buttocks on the bed, the rest would be easy. With one final pull, he yanked hard and was relieved to feel that the weight of Darcy’s body was finally on the bed.

  Elizabeth numbly reached the sheets and blankets, removing them before lifting her husband’s legs. They adjusted him, placing his head where it should be and propping a pillow beneath it. She turned to Bingley. Now was the time to ask for a second room. She opened her mouth to say something, but then hesitated. Her embarrassment far outweighed her courage. She scanned the room to see if there were any other options, but this room didn’t have a chaise to sleep on.

  Bingley rubbed his hands through his hair and tried to catch his breath. “I have to admit I have never seen him drink as much as he did tonight. It was very peculiar. He kept opening his mouth to talk and then would say something that was— if you’ll excuse me— it felt completely random. Like ‘did you know lavender grows w
ild in the hills of Hertfordshire?’ He kept doing it all night. I imagined something was bothering him and he was just trying to find the right moment to tell me about it, but then he passed out in the chair. I am sorry, Elizabeth. I would send a servant up but it is late. Just let him sleep in his clothes. It is the natural penalty for drinking like that when he is not used to it.”

  Elizabeth nodded. “Thank you. I can manage. He hardly drinks, but you know that.” She didn’t quite know how she was going to manage, but she would figure out something.

  “Well, good night. I am sorry I let him fill his glass those last few times. It is not going to be a pretty morning for him after this much brandy. Do take care.” Bingley turned to leave and then turned back around. “Elizabeth? He kept mumbling something about chickens and getting their feathers. He brought it up three times, asking me what I thought about them, but I have to admit I could not help him. Does that make any sense to you?”

  Elizabeth looked at her sleeping husband. He had been thinking about the chickens! “Yes, but I am afraid it is more complicated than I can explain in one night. Thank you for delivering him safely.”

  Bingley let out a laugh, “Safely? He landed on the floor in a pile of broken glass from a vase he knocked over! I am lucky we made it, let alone safely!” He then turned and left.

  Elizabeth went and closed the door. She looked at the face of her husband and sighed. He looked more like a boy, all those familiar creases smoothed out of his brow. She had never seen him while he was sleeping. She stood transfixed looking at him. She still did not know what she was going to do, but decided to start tugging at his boots. A good wife would ensure that her husband didn’t sleep in his boots. She took her time taking them off, trying to come up with an answer to where she would sleep. There were two blankets, but with the chill in the air, one person would probably need two blankets anyway. She could not imagine that sleeping on the cold hard floor was really an option. She pried the first boot off. His leg flopped on the bed, and she heard him moan something that sounded like her name. She removed the other boot, careful this time not to drop the leg. She looked back at his face. His lips were relaxed, and she reached her hand out to touch his face. She took her palm, cupping his strong jaw.