The Other Half of my Soul addm-1

by Gareth D. Williams

  There. That’ll go down just fine.

  He was still saying that to himself as he entered the docking bays and found Anna waiting there, obviously impatient. His eyes widened slightly as he saw her. Her hair was newly washed and trimmed and done in a slightly different style. She was wearing loose-fitting light blue trousers and top, and jewellery as well. Corwin made a habit of noting as much about people as he could, and he spotted a wedding ring gleaming on Anna’s finger. She hadn’t been wearing her wedding ring in years.

  “I’d like to see my husband, if that’s okay,” she said harshly. “Assuming he isn’t too busy, of course.”

  “Ah, well…” Corwin began. What had the Captain said? Alert me if it’s an emergency only. He hadn’t been sure what the definition of an emergency was, but he knew from experience that while the sudden arrival of twenty Minbari cruisers would count, anything less probably wouldn’t.

  “He’s busy at the moment, I’m afraid. If you have a message I could leave…”

  “I could do that over the comm channels,” she said. “I want to talk to him.”

  “I’m very sorry,” Corwin said. “I will let him know you came as soon as I can, but I am afraid we are very busy here…” Very busy was not the word. He had been performing so many drills, inspections and checks that he felt he was in danger of joining the walking brain-dead.

  “Actually, Commander,” Zack suddenly said, “I was wondering about that. Miss Alexander was muttering to herself as she came back from seeing him a few hours ago. She kept saying the word ’chrysalis’. Does that mean anything to you?”

  “No, Sergeant, I’m afraid it doesn’t,” Corwin snapped.

  “Miss Alexander? Oh right, so it’s all right for him to see other women, just not me. Oh no, I’m just his wife, that’s all! And what does ’chrysalis’ mean?”

  “Your guess is as good as mine,” Zack said conversationally. “They don’t tell me nothing. Some Minbari thing, I guess.”

  “That will be all, Sergeant!” Corwin snapped. “I am very sorry, Mrs. Sheridan, but the Captain is busy. I will be sure to let him know you came.”

  “Busy?” Anna said slowly. “Busy, yes I’m sure he is, what with other women and Minbari! Don’t bother, Commander!” She turned and stormed away. Corwin glared at Zack.

  “Hey, I didn’t know it was such a big secret,” Zack said. “I’m sorry.”

  “I’d have thought you’d know better than to go blabbing about secret business to all and sundry, Sergeant.”

  “Aw hell, you’re right. Look, I’m sorry, Commander. I just ain’t had much sleep recently, you know what I mean. It’s all this added security and drills and inspections and stuff. I’m just… a bit dead on my feet, you know.

  Corwin sighed and breathed out slowly. “I understand. Look, how long are you on duty for?”

  “Another four hours or so.”

  “Head down to the surface when you finish. Take a break, and relax a bit. We’ve all been under a lot of stress lately and I can see how it might get a bit much for some of us. Just, Mr. Allan, don’t do anything that stupid again.”

  “You’re right, sir, I’m sorry.”

  “I doubt it’s made much difference. Things between the Captain and his wife weren’t that great anyway, and I’ll be damned if the word chrysalis means anything to her. Hell, I’m involved in this, and I don’t know what the damn word means.”

  “Yes, sir. And again, I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t worry about it. No harm done, I suppose.”

  “No, sir.”

  * * * * * * *

  “It is time we faced facts,” Vice President Clark was saying. “We are all living on borrowed time. The date Mr. Welles obtained from our Minbari prisoner passed almost two months ago. Even taking into account the time needed for the Grey Council to thrash out their power struggle, they must have chosen a leader by now, or be in the process of doing so, and that means the Minbari ships could be here any day now.”

  “We all know this, Morgan,” muttered President Crane wearily. Her health was not good, and she had come to this meeting purely because of the importance of the subject matter. Over four hours of debate had done nothing for her strength and she looked on the verge of collapse.

  “We all know this, and we have been making preparations. Lieutenant Ivanova assures us that her friends are monitoring the situation and they will be here. Our early warning probes have picked up nothing yet. We will be ready for them, Morgan…”

  “But,” General Takashima spoke up. “Our time is still limited. We have still not given a solid answer to the Centarum about their overtures of peace. The Centauri could be valuable allies. With the arrival of Lord Refa in a few days, it is important that we take this chance. Surely the Minbari will hesitate if we have the Centauri on our side as well.”

  “I doubt they will,” Clark said. “But it would still be important to have the Centauri as allies. Of what use have the Narns been so far? Less than nothing. So if the Centauri want to offer their help against the Minbari, then we would be fools not to take it.”

  “I am still doubtful about this Lord Refa,” Crane whispered. “I have never heard his name before. Why are the Centauri not sending Minister Mollari or one of his aides? He was the one after all who first proposed the treaty.”

  “Minister Mollari is bound to be a busy man,” Clark replied. “Lord Refa is a prominent Centauri noble, and the diplomatic pouch did bear the seal of the Centauri Emperor himself. And any doubts you will be able to put to him directly.

  “I feel however that there is a greater problem at hand. A potential security risk. When Satai Delenn was first brought here, I advocated keeping her alive. As a prisoner and as a potential hostage she could be a valuable asset, and indeed, Mr. Welles obtained a great deal of information from her. Of late however, she has spent all her time aboard the Babylon. According to Captain Sheridan’s reports on the Epsilon Three fiasco, her presence there was not sufficient to prevent a Minbari ship firing upon the Babylon, and therefore her value as a hostage is somewhat doubtful. Captain Sheridan has also repeatedly denied Mr. Welles or anyone else the chance to continue questioning her.

  “Whether she holds some… unhealthy influence upon Captain Sheridan or not is not my place to say. I believe however that her presence here has ceased to be an asset and has become a potential danger. The sooner we are rid of her the better.

  “And of course, a public execution would serve as a powerful morale boost for the public, would it not?”

  Chapter 2

  If Captain John Sheridan had been told a year ago of where he would be today, he would have laughed, and refused to believe. Then, he had been a loyal defender of humanity, last hope against the Minbari, fearless captain of the EAS Babylon. Everything had seemed so simple. Of course, his daughter Elizabeth was dead, and his wife Anna was drinking herself into a stupor most nights, but he at least knew who he was and why he was doing what he was doing.

  But then he’d set in at Vega 7 for repairs to the Babylon, he’d been betrayed by Administrator Na’Far and captured by Minbari, he’d been met in a Minbari cell by Susan Ivanova, he’d escaped from Minbar, capturing Satai Delenn in the process, and everything had fallen completely apart.

  Everything from his mission to Narn, to his freeing of Satai Delenn from Mr. Welles’ interrogation, to the whole Epsilon 3 / G’Kar scenario and the very strange Babylon 4 encounter afterwards… everything seemed strangely unreal to him. As if this were all a dream. He would wake up and find he was back on Earth – just him and Anna and Elizabeth, and they’d be in his father’s garden with the smell of orange blossom all around them, and they’d be having the life they should have had, the life they would have had if the Minbari had stopped before they came to Earth.

  But then he woke up, and he realised that Elizabeth was still dead, Anna was still a stranger to him, Earth was gone and all his family and memories with it, and he was here, on board the Babylon, looking at a giant cocoon.


  Delenn had called it a chrysalis, of course, but that made him none the wiser. He found himself absurdly thinking of her emerging as a butterfly, with wings and everything. He wasn’t really certain what she was going to emerge as, save that she was hoping it would bring their two races closer together. That was a fool’s dream as far as he was concerned, but she believed, and the fiery belief in her eyes almost made him believe as well.

  Almost.

  Sheridan did not believe in prophecy, or in destiny, or in happy endings. When he thought about peace between human and Minbari, all he could see was the Black Star, or the Minbari fleets massing over Mars, or Satai Sinoval in the Hall of the Grey Council, and he knew that this would only end in blood. Perhaps when Minbar had gone the same way as Earth, maybe then things would be at peace, but he doubted it.

  So why was he here, watching a cocoon that contained the woman who had led the war against his people? Why was he lighting candles set in positions he did not understand? Why was he here when he should be running his ship? Why was he following the words of a prophecy he did not believe in?

  Why? Because he believed in her. He had been privileged in his life to know certain people around whom everything turned, people who could command respect and authority with their mere presence. He supposed that he himself was one of those people, although he certainly did not feel like one. He remembered General Richard ‘Firestorm’ Franklin, with such force of presence and an almost tangible aura. He remembered his first CO – Captain Jack Maynard – with his almost inexhaustible fount of knowledge and sayings and stories. He remembered his father, a diplomat of many years, whose softly spoken voice had addressed emperors, leaders and prophets, and he remembered his mother, whose firmly spoken words had maintained order over two very mischievous children.

  All of them were now dead, but Delenn wasn’t. She was no military leader, and he did not suppose she was a diplomat. From what he understood of the Minbari caste structure, he knew her to be a priestess. Yet she held the same sense of presence that had characterised all the great military leaders and diplomats he had ever known. And she had more. She believed. She really, honestly believed in the rightness and the justice of her cause.

  Sheridan believed in nothing these days, and so he latched on to her belief like a drowning man gasping for air. And so he waited for her. He suspected that beneath the air of certainty there was a tinge of doubt. Delenn had not been sure of what this would do to her, for all that she acted as if she was. And so, as part payment for all the words of comfort she had given him, he was waiting for her.

  She had said it would take several days, perhaps even a fortnight. She had been in there for five days so far. He had barely eaten or drunk, but he had gone days without food or water in the past, and hunger had ceased to bother him. Her movements from within the chrysalis had stopped three days ago, and he could not see her through its thin strands any longer.

  He was waiting. Commander Corwin understood even less about this than Sheridan did, but he respected his CO, and had ensured that nothing reached him, not even the news of Anna’s attempted visit – an event which, if Sheridan had known about it, might have prevented all the tragedy that later came. But at the time he was isolated and still, and strangely at peace.

  It wasn’t to last. Nothing ever did. He understood this, but even so, he was still a little irritated when his link activated and Corwin’s voice came through it.

  “I’m really sorry about this, sir,” he said, “but there’s a Gold Channel transmission from Vice President Clark, sir. I’ve tried telling him you’re indisposed, but he wants to talk with you immediately. He says it’s urgent.”

  “I understand. Thank you, David. I’ll take the message in my office.” He looked at the chrysalis again. He had promised Delenn he would be here for her, but he wouldn’t be gone long. Even if he had to go down to the planet, he would only be a few hours. He’d be back in plenty of time.

  “I won’t be long,” he told the chrysalis. “I’m sorry. I won’t be long.”

  Sheridan left the room and locked the door with his own personal access code. He turned to the two security guards on duty. “No one but Commander Corwin is to go into this room until I get back. If anyone tries, lock them in the brig.”

  Of necessity Delenn’s quarters, which were supposed to be her cell – despite the fairly comfortable furnishings – were far from the actual bridge and his office at the front of the ship, and so it was a long walk. If he walked a little slower than usual, then that was definitely unintentional. He didn’t like Clark, but that was no reason to irritate him, right? At least, that was what he told himself.

  When he reached his office, he stood before the communications panel and activated the Gold Channel message. Clark’s face appeared on the screen. He did not look happy.

  “You took your time, Captain Sheridan,” he snapped.

  “I’m sorry, Vice President,” he said. “I’ve been busy with inspections and so forth. We want to make sure the ship is ready for when the Minbari come.”

  “Our early warning probes have picked up no sign of Minbari activity yet. We have at least twelve hours of opportunity.”

  “Believe me, Vice President, that’s not nearly long enough.”

  “We’ll see, and I’m sure the Babylon can run without you for a few hours. We have a Centauri diplomat here to discuss a possible mutual defence alliance, and he would very much like to see you…”

  “Vice President, I am very busy here. I am sure he will get by without seeing me…”

  “He insists that is not possible, Captain, and I would remind you that you serve the wishes of this Government. If we can complete this treaty with the Centauri then we may not even have to fight the Minbari at all.”

  “Vice President, I’ve fought both the Minbari and the Centauri, and I’m telling you, a Minbari fleet could go through anything the Centauri send to help us like a hot knife through butter. And if they don’t, then the Narns will likely sell us all out to the Minbari and scrap your early warning probes, as well as all the other equipment they sold us.”

  “We shall see, Captain. The fact of the matter is, your presence is requested on Proxima as soon as possible, and you will have to be here.”

  Sheridan swore silently. “I will be there, Vice President.” The signal ended, and he stepped backwards, sitting on his desk, thinking. A Centauri, here? In what was technically Narn space, with Narns in and out of Proxima all the time – well, more out than in at the moment. But why would a Centauri come this far into a war zone? The Minbari could arrive at any moment – he didn’t exactly trust any early warning probes – so why would a Centauri noble risk being caught in the crossfire, let alone risk being beaten to death by a Narn?

  Questions. Always too many questions, and never enough answers.

  He swore again, and made preparations for Delenn while he was on Proxima. He wouldn’t be gone long anyway. A few hours at best. Yes, that would be all.

  * * * * * * *

  Secret meetings and clandestine plots were practically compulsory behaviour among the nobility on Centauri Prime these days. Emperor Marrit was well-meaning, competent, polite and sincere, a combination that meant it would probably have been easier if he had just painted a large target on his forehead and walked in front of a firing squad.

  There were many who said that Marrit was not half the man his father had been, and those complaints were true, but the point was that Turhan had been a great leader for the early part of his reign. He had pulled the Centauri out from the whole Narn nightmare with less loss of face, chaos and loss of life than many would have thought possible, and his dealings with other governments, especially the rising power of the Earth Alliance, had brought the Centauri new hope for a reconstruction and a possible renaissance of power.

  But Turhan, like so many great leaders, had lived too long. He had grown old and frail and his court had slipped away from him. The Centauri’s most powerful allies – the Earth Al
liance – had been ripped apart and reduced to less than a fragment. When the Centauri had been unable to assist that fragment, they had turned to the Narns for help, help which had been given gladly, if not freely.

  And then came the war with the Narns, and the Centauri’s renaissance had started, much to the surprise of everyone in the galaxy, not least the Narns, who found out that their mighty war machine was not as mighty as they thought.

  Turhan had died during the war and his son had succeeded to the throne, but as a figurehead and nothing more. With all attention focussed on the war, a small coalition of nobles had been able to rise to power and guide the Centauri back to greatness. Through skilled use of diplomacy, military tactics and the same strategies of attrition that the Narn had employed against them, Londo Mollari, Urza Jaddo and Antono Refa had managed to guide the Centauri through the war. Yes, it had ended in bloody stalemate, but at least the Centauri were still free, and rebuilding.

  And then the hammers had started to fall. Londo Mollari had seen something at the end of the war that he would not talk about to anyone. He had been sent out on a diplomatic mission to the Drazi that was attacked by Narns, and he disappeared for over a week. Upon his return he was distracted and vague, and suffered from increasing nightmares. Urza Jaddo had become focussed on the Emperor, and on finding a way to end the war and improve matters at home. And Antono Refa… he had become lost in the dreams of power, guided no doubt by his fair lady wife, Elrisia. Urza and Refa soon found themselves at opposite ends of the political spectrum, and the whole of the Centarum came close to open war. Forced, somewhat against his will, to choose sides, Londo had allied with his old friend Urza, but he was clearly not happy about it. Refa had too many allies for him to be got rid of permanently, however, and so he was dispatched to Minbar, out of the way. Urza became the Emperor’s First Minister, and Londo… was left to complete his own agenda.