Vampire Friend

by V. B. Andrian

  Gran pulled back, looking at me in confusion. “What do you mean? What about Ali?”

  I shook my head and turned away from her, needing at least the small distance that would give me. “I can’t, Gran. She loves me and I want to – God do I want to – but I can’t. I’m not ready and I don’t think I’ll ever be.”

  She stayed silent for a long while, and for a moment I thought she’d left. But then I felt her hand on my shoulder. “You think you have a choice?”

  I whirled around, my turn to be confused. “What?”

  “Love. Do you think you have a choice about when it happens? That you can control it? Well, you can’t. Love doesn’t give a damn whether you think you’re ready or not before it seizes your heart. On the contrary. It’s when you’re not ready that it does its worst – or rather best. You can’t decide that you can’t fall in love again, Nate, because you’re already in love. I see it every time you look at that girl. You always touch her, smile when she smiles, move when she moves, breathe when she breathes. I see how you act when you’re around her. I know you loved Kiara, but I don’t think you were ever in love with her. That’s why you didn’t see it when you fell for Ali, because it didn’t feel the same. But that’s a good thing, because now that Kiara’s gone, it’s time for you to move on. You can’t control when you fall in love, baby-boy, but you can control what you do with it when it happens. Don’t let that girl go.” She smiled widely. “She’s your Evy.”

  And with that she left me, stunned, speechless, fucking dumbstruck, and not even able to process the words she’d said.

  Alicia

  Quietly shutting the door to my room behind me, I sneaked next door to Nate’s. It had been almost an hour since we’d all gone to bed, and he hadn’t come to sleep with me. I figured he was torturing himself to stay away, probably still embarrassed by what had happened in the morning.

  I could still feel the tingling on my lips from his. For a moment it felt like my heart had stopped beating only to jump-start again, harder and louder than it had ever beaten before. I knew it hadn’t meant for him what it meant for me, but I was too lost now to care. He was calling himself selfish, but I was a masochist. I knew I would eventually end up with my heart ripped in pieces, and I still didn’t care.

  After Kay’s proposal he’d disappeared in the kitchen, thinking no one would notice him or the torn expression on his face. Martha and I both had, and she’d stopped me when I was about to follow him, going after him herself. She’d come back out a few minutes later and looked at me with a grin that I hadn’t been able to decipher. I’d finally decided it meant all was good with Nate, and she was happy for her older grandson.

  When Nate had come out of the kitchen several minutes later, he’d seemed better but still thoughtful. Gone were the broken feelings from his eyes, but he looked as if he was solving an extremely complicated puzzle in his mind. When he’d looked at me, though, he hadn’t smiled like he’d been doing all day, and I feared he was trying to find a way to walk away from me again without hurting me. I wasn’t about to let that happen. Not when I knew it wasn’t really what he wanted.

  Just like he had the night before, I didn’t bother knocking, and instead carefully opened the door and went in his room, before closing it again behind me. I heard him stir on the bed, and saw him through the soft light coming from the window, sitting against the headboard of the bed.

  “Hey,” he said in a husky voice that immediately affected my pulse.

  “Hi,” I said, tiptoeing towards him. “I’m here to tell you to stop.”

  “Stop what?” he asked in confusion.

  “That,” I said, pointing in the general direction of his face, as I sat beside him on the edge of the bed. “Whatever you’re thinking to push me away again, stop thinking it.”

  His hand came up and grabbed a strand of my hair, twirling it around his fingers. “I’m not thinking of pushing you away, Ali.”

  “Then how come you’re not next door to sleep? You’re telling me you haven’t regretted kissing me this morning?”

  There was a small pause before I realized he was shaking his head. “No, babe. I haven’t regretted kissing you.” He took my hand and pulled me to him, until I was half-sitting half-lying on his chest. “I just wasn’t ready to go to sleep yet, and I didn’t want to keep you awake. I was going to come when I was finally able to clear my mind from everything that’s been twirling around in there.”

  I took a breath and let it out slowly. “Oh.” I felt like a wazzock for bringing it up now, but also immensely hopeful and relieved that he hadn’t regretted it. “Um, then I should leave you to it.” I made to stand, but he pulled me back, lifting my legs and having me sit on his lap with my head against his shoulder.

  “No. Now that you’re here you’re staying. I like the company.” He buried one hand in my hair as the other was caressing my outer thigh, his long fingers coming within millimeters from my rare before sliding back down.

  A shudder went through me from our closeness, which didn’t go unnoticed by him.

  “You’re cold?” he asked, not waiting for my answer before pulling the covers up to cover us both. “Better?”

  I wasn’t cold. I was most likely about to combust instantaneously, simply by the feel of his body beneath me and his hand caressing me. I swallowed the sudden dryness in my mouth and nodded. “Better,” I breathed.

  His hand stilled for a long moment at the sound of my voice, but then he started again, even softer than before. The wetness that was gathering between my legs from just his touch was of unprecedented levels.

  “Sleep, sweet Ali,” he whispered. “Sleep in my arms. Let me hold you.”

  I took a few calming breaths, but every time his hand moved upwards, I exhaled shakily. “I can’t.”

  He stilled and his body stiffened. “You can’t what?”

  “Sleep.”

  He let out a shuddering breath and visibly relaxed, his hand starting moving again. “Okay. Want to talk?”

  I nodded, although I wasn’t sure I’d be able to utter a single word.

  “How did you know Evy was going to say yes?”

  “You didn’t?”

  “I thought she would when Kay asked. But then she started shaking her head and I was afraid she meant she wouldn’t. Kay thought so too.”

  I let out a small giggle and forced myself to concentrate on anything but his moving hand. “Well, she and I had talked about it a while ago. She knew Kay would ask her, because he’d been randomly talking about her becoming a Lockwood. But she thought he was avoiding actually making a proposal and rather squeezing it in as a suggestion, and she was determined to make him ask properly. But I imagine she hadn’t realized Kay was hiding a romantic underneath it all, and she was caught off guard by hearing his words in front of everyone.”

  Nate laughed softly, shaking us both. “I think she really was angry to a level that he proposed in front of everyone. I only realized she was going to say yes when I saw Luke smirking. That guy is so observant it’s scary sometimes.”

  I giggled lightly. “True. I do believe he sees everything.” A long moment of silence passed before I managed to ask, “Nate? Are you happy for them?”

  He must have caught the seriousness in my voice, because he answered immediately, “Of course.”

  “Because you left rather swiftly after. I thought maybe… I don’t know what. That you were sad.”

  He sighed and I felt his arms tighten around me. “I was. I think I was – am – also jealous. But the happiness outweighs everything else. They’re perfect for each other. I just…” He sighed again. “I hadn’t realized I wanted that as well. That I want one day to be in Kay’s place and ask the girl I love to marry me, start a family. So yeah, I was a bit unsettled when I ran to the kitchen. But then Gran came over and knocked some sense into me. She said some things… Things I should have known. They shook me real good. I still haven’t registered all that she told me, but… I think I get now the most
important of it.”

  I nodded, though I had no idea what he was talking about. I was dying of curiosity to know what Martha had told him, but I wasn’t about to ask. “That’s why you couldn’t sleep? You’re still considering what she told you?”

  I felt him nod. “Yeah. I didn’t want to keep you up as well. Looks like I failed in that part too, doesn’t it?”

  I brought a hand up to place on his chest. “You didn’t fail in anything, Nate. I couldn’t sleep either.”

  “Well, I can fix that,” he said and I felt my whole body being lifted up.

  I let out a small yelp, which I quickly smothered with my hand, and he laid me on the bed, on my side, facing him. He lay beside me and tugged the covers over us, before pulling me closer to him and tucking my head in the crook of his shoulder. My hands both came to settle on his hard chest, right over his heart that was beating strong and steady. Mine was doing a few rather impressive cartwheels.

  “Comfortable?” he murmured as he settled one of my knees between his thighs. I nodded. “Just don’t bring your knee up any higher, or we’re going to have a problem.”

  I burst into uncontrollable giggles that I desperately tried to muffle. My leg jerked up unintentionally, grazing his groin. I heard him groan softly, and he pulled away as one of his hands flew down to cup his crotch. That only made me laugh harder, and I pulled away immediately to put both hands over my mouth.

  “Are you seriously laughing?” he whispered in a strained voice. I laughed harder. “You do remember me telling you a few seconds ago I want to have family in the future, right?”

  He was smiling now. I couldn’t see it but I could hear it, and it made me giddy. Somehow I felt like something had changed in him. I finally felt like I was seeing all of him, as carefree and real as Evy had described him to be.

  “Ali,” he tried to make it sound like a warning, but it didn’t quite work. “Stop laughing or you’ll be sorry.”

  It was like he’d told me the exact opposite. I could barely breathe through all the muffled giggles and the belly-shaking smothered laughter. I scooted backwards a little further to try and put some space between us. Every time I thought of where I’d almost kneed him, a new wave of giggles rushed over me, and I was afraid I would eventually wake everyone up. At the thought of everyone coming in the room and telling them why I was laughing, I almost lost utter control.

  He moved so fast I didn’t have time to register what he was doing. He was suddenly hovering over me, my wrists trapped in his hands over my head, his legs pinning mine, and his upper body completely covering mine as he lowered his mouth on mine. I gasped, all thought of laughter gone, and he immediately took the opportunity to slip his tongue in my mouth.

  The heat that had almost burned me before was back now, and I felt my entire body shaking under his. No. Bad Ali. Don’t scare him away now. But I was unable to control it. Every stroke of his tongue against mine caused electricity to run through my veins, singeing every other thought. His kiss was all that mattered, all that existed. The only reason I existed in that moment.

  He moved both my wrists in one hand and let his free one run down the side of my body, slowly grazing each rib before slipping under me to settle on the small of my back. He lifted me up slightly, pressing my body further into his, causing an embarrassing moan to emit from my lips into his mouth.

  “I love that sound,” he whispered as he nipped my bottom lip softly. “Do it again.”

  “I—” his mouth crushed mine before I could utter another word, and he lifted me again. I made the same sound again at the feel of his hard body against my soft one, and he groaned in my mouth, causing new shudders to rake my body.

  “Again, Ali.”

  He made me do it again and again, until I was a breath away from bursting into flames. A fire was burning between my legs, parts of me were tingling, and even though I had never had an orgasm before, I knew I was close. The fact that it was about to happen by just him kissing and holding me, was what made it embarrassing.

  “Nate,” I managed when his mouth left mine to trail open-mouthed kisses down my neck to my collarbone, to the edge of my tank top.

  He stopped, breathing hard, and brought his head up to rest his forehead on mine. “Too much?” he asked.

  I managed a nod and immediately cursed myself for stopping him. I swallowed hard. “I just… need a moment.” And before I could stop myself I added, “I want it so much it scares me.”

  He didn’t move. He just stayed there, over me, our breaths mingling and dancing between our mouths, toying with our proximity. “I know,” he muttered after a while. “I feel the same way.”

  Bloody what? I stilled at his words, stopped breathing altogether. Had he just said that he wanted this too? Or had I heard him wrong? Was my mind playing tricks on me?

  Before I could ask him, he released my wrists and brought a hand over my mouth, letting his fingers rest on my lips. “Ssh. Don’t say it. Not yet. Let’s just…” He took a deep breath. “Let’s just try and get some sleep, and we’ll talk about it when we get back to LA, okay? I just need a little more time.”

  I was beyond confused and beyond words. I only managed another nod, and he exhaled slowly, before rolling off me and turning me to my side, with my back to his chest this time as he settled us to our usual sleeping positions.

  I had a really hard time calming down my heartrate. His words kept swirling around in my head, playing over and over again as if someone had pressed the repeat button. I’d said I wanted it so much that it scared me, and he’d said he felt the same way. Was it possible there was another meaning to his words, one that I couldn’t see? Bugger, I had to wait an entire weekend to go by until I found out. He’d said we would talk about it when we went back to Los Angeles, and that would be on Sunday. And it was Thursday, going on Friday. I was probably going to go mental until that time.

  I didn’t know how much time had passed until I finally managed to relax and started drifting away. Nate’s soft breaths helped me with that, but I couldn’t tell if he was asleep or not.

  Right when I’d decided he was probably sleeping, I heard him whisper, “Ali. I want to tell you what Gran told me. Will you let me tell you when we get back?”

  “Of course,” I said huskily, bringing my hand down to cover his over my stomach.

  “Thank you. I promise not to hurt you again, Ali. Give me this weekend and I promise we’ll talk about everything on Sunday.”

  I gave him a small nod in response and felt his arms tighten slightly around me. Soon, I was pulled into the land of Morpheus, and I didn’t move until I woke up the next morning, still in Nate’s arms and knowing that, come Sunday, something would change. I couldn’t help but feel that it was going to change for the better.

  Chapter 14

  Alicia

  Under any other circumstances I would have been patient. It was something I’d taken from my Dad and I was really proud of. I was never curious, impatient or fidgety, but now I’d turned to all of those. I couldn’t believe I had to wait for two and a half days to go by. I wanted to corner Nate and have that talk now.

  But at the same time I was scared the moment we would eventually talk. A small part of my brain was convinced that the ‘I won’t hurt you again’ part meant he would simply announce to me he wouldn’t see me again. Even though it went at complete odds with the statement that ‘he wanted it so much it scared him too’.

  Bugger. My head was an utter mess.

  Friday went by slowly. Too slowly. On Saturday I managed to focus on something else. As always, I’d kept every documented fact of the research close, which only meant I’d taken everything with me to San Diego. It turned out both Colin and Carla knew about it, and I took advantage of their knowledge to discuss it with the both of them.

  My problem was that it was not a virus. Vaccines are easily produced for viruses, but there isn’t any for addictions. I didn’t know where to focus.

  Carla bit the inside of her cheek as s
he thought. “Have you tried it that way though? Treating it as a virus?”

  “I have. It doesn’t work. I tried building the immunity slowly, with small doses of the enzyme, but the reaction seems to be instant. Merely a drop in a gallon would cause addiction. I also thought of separating the blood’s particles and check each one separately, but I haven’t had time to try it out yet. Do you suppose it would work?”

  Colin scratched his jaw. “Sounds like it. You know, Ali, we may be presenting ourselves as doctors, but all this chemistry is really not our field. What we can work out with you is the qualities of the blood and the habits of immunity.”

  I let out a soft giggle. “I suppose I’m boring you with all this. I apologize.”

  Carla laughed loudly. “Silly girl. Of course you’re not boring us. You simply make us look stupid.”

  “Let’s try to learn everything we can from the immune blood, and then we’ll see what else we can do,” Colin suggested.

  And that was how Saturday went by. Colin and Carla helped me further analyze Kay’s blood, and take some important notes on the way the enzyme in Evy’s blood worked. I wasn’t closer to a revelation, but I’d done something and it felt relieving. I wanted to finish Kiara’s research, not only for the benefits of it, but also for bringing Nate some kind of closure.

  I’d almost drifted off when Nate crawled into my bed that night. I stirred and tried to turn to face him, but he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest.

  “Ssh, babe. Sleep.” I felt his hot lips on the back of my neck and a shiver coursed through my body.

  “Nate,” I breathed. My body was suddenly on fire and my back arched, bringing my rare closer to his groin, where I felt him harden. I was all of a sudden desperate to feel him touching me, every inch of my skin burning for him.

  Nate groaned and placed a hand on my lower belly, pressing me further into him. His hips surged forward, and he ground himself into me. “Jesus, fuck,” he mumbled. “Ali, sleep, baby. I want you so bad, but I want to do this right.”