by Leah Holden
Don’t get into strangers’ cars Shaniah.
But I was no longer a little girl and my mother’s voice no longer had the impact it once did. I could take care of me and I was sick of my good girl image. Hadn’t I been fighting, for years, to break free of the lingering impact of my mother’s influence on my life?
We drove slowly down what was perhaps a picturesque lane in daylight. To those in the throes of love, this would perhaps be the epitome of romance. To me and my mere lust, in the twilight, it was kind of spooky. The spookiness might have lent another dimension to the excitement of the moment, but it was still just spooky.
The car slowed as we approached an area overhung with trees and which, again, might have been charming in daylight. The car finally came to a standstill by the edge of what looked like a private beach. This was certainly a hitherto unknown part of the Lakeshore—at least to me.
“Are we even allowed to be here?” I asked. “This feels like private property.”
“Relax,” he said. “I know this area well. This particular strip of land is called Lovers’ Walk.”
I peered at him in the dark, “You’re making this up,” I said, thinking it had to be the corniest crap I’d ever heard.
“I swear to God,” he said. “I guess it was given that name as a new take on the more predictable ‘Lover’s Lane’. The lake continues just over there,” he said pointing. “You can often see a lot of old guys fishing along the shore. I used to come here when I was in high school and make out with the popular girls.”
I laughed because I still wasn’t sure if he was being serious.
“You mean the cheerleaders?” I asked, feeling a twinge of jealousy of his past conquests, even if they were highly clichéd.
“No, not at all. Despite many attempts, my high school never quite got it together to have cheerleaders.”
“Yikes, that must have sucked.”
“You have no idea!”
He said this with such feeling and I laughed out loud.
“I’m proud of you for surviving it,” I said and even with the restricted lighting, I could see his teeth flash in a wide grin at the sarcasm.
“You must have gone on dates in some highly unsuitable locations with equally highly unsuitable boys when you were younger?” he said with laughter still in his voice.
“No, actually I didn’t quite get around to that,” I said, remembering my totally restricted upbringing and my religious fanatic of a mother. I shook my head to clear the memory because I was in a parked car in a shady area of the city with a gorgeous guy; the last person I needed to keep thinking about was my mother.
I tried to focus on the fact that at least we now had some privacy. A delicious thrill spread through me.
“In any event,” said Jared, sounding like he was addressing a board meeting, “I take it this is private enough?”
Before I could answer, he leaned towards me and put his lips on mine while, at the same time, cupping my head with his hands. I leaned into his kiss because why else would I have had come this far? Why had I not made good my escape when I had the chance? However, more importantly, he was turning me on in a way that Todd had failed to do—ever.
His lips eventually moved over to my breasts and I stroked the back of his head, kissed anywhere I could reach and surrendered to a freedom I had perhaps never really experienced. He reached over further and fiddled around a bit and my seat shifted back to an almost horizontal position.
“Whoa! I really think you’re moving a bit too fast,” I gasped as I made a show of trying to keep myself vertical.
“Relax,” he said, “We’re just having some fun.”
“You’re just having some fun,” I said. I was desperate to show, even then, that I knew I should have some moral standard.
“Oh, so you’re not enjoying this?”
I didn’t answer.
“You can stop me if I’m grossing you out,” he added.
Oh heck, no way did I want him to stop.
“I didn’t say you were grossing me out exactly but I hardly know you.”
“Well, this is a good way to get to know each other,” he said.
I blinked like an owl because the internal battle was still raging. I wasn’t especially bothered about anyone respecting me after—well after whatever.
However, I did feel that if I had to worry about anyone’s regard for me, then I perhaps needed to be doing something else with that person. Truly, I guess I was more worried about my own regard for me. If I indulged my wilder latent urges, then how would I feel about it afterwards? And, while it was true that I wanted to lose my ‘goody two shoes’ image, could I just throw caution to the wind at the very first opportunity?
Jared’s hands were back on my breast and they started to move lower until he was actually caressing my hips and I’m not sure exactly how he was doing that in such a relatively confined space.
“Are you having fun yet?” he whispered against my lips.
“Yeah, that’s kind of what I’m afraid of—too much fun.”
His lips covered mine again and I could feel the laughter on them. I couldn’t speak when his hands reached the top of my thighs and he caressed gently. My heart thumped aggressively and I prayed once again that I wasn’t about to have a heart attack.
Okay, so I needed to calm down. This was all illicit stuff and I wasn’t sure I wanted to take things even a tiny step further.
I tried making myself think about what kind of person would do all this with a total stranger. But it was apparently a very happy kind of person because I pulled him towards me. He moved even closer. Don’t ask me how we managed that in such a small space, but we did. I could feel him pressing up against me and by then I was moving into the realm of incoherent thought.
My skirt was hitched up a bit higher than I was happy about and I was concerned that, at the rate we were going, all that would soon stand between us would be my panties and his jeans.
At that thought, I did at least make an attempt to pull away with whatever little bit of self-preservation I could muster.
“Yeah, that’s enough.”
“Do you ever relax?”
I realized that my eyes were squeezed so tightly shut, I was on the verge of developing a mega headache.
I relaxed.
“We need to control ourselves,” I breathed.
“Shh,” he said, “nothing’s going to happen.”
“Then just make sure you keep the jeans up.”
“I’m not taking them off.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I have no intention of removing a stitch of my clothing,” he said and I could hear laughter in his voice.
Maybe he was right; maybe I needed to learn to chill out.
So I tried to relax even further and tried to pretend that I was used to this type of situation. Jared shifted his body so that he was able to move his head down and I felt his tongue streaking a hot moist trail southwards. I curled my fingers through his hair.
His tongue came to a halt from its slow journey southward.
The tongue stroked my lower abdomen and edged towards the top of my bikini line. I moaned aloud.
“Are you okay?” breathed Jared.
My eyes flew open and I stared back at him in horror.
Okay, so…about the whoring thing,
Awkward!
“Er…we’d better stop!”
He raised his head and our eyes locked.
“Okay,” he said and pulled himself backwards so that he was more in his own seat rather than hovering over me.
I moved my legs a bit because the car seat was no longer that comfortable. I tried to fix myself up because I hadn’t planned on this type of activity with a stranger and now all kinds of thoughts were flashing through my mind.
That overpowering feeling that I’d experienced of being some Amazonian conquering warrior woman who could just go online, seize her man and take what she wanted was short-lived. I now felt guilty.
>
I couldn’t just discount years of bad sex with Todd, years of trying to be a totally good girl, years of trying to be the best daughter in the world, or years of doing the mom thing and completely avoiding this type of situation.
How the hell had I ended up here somewhat compromised in a stranger’s car in the dark of the night, somewhere on the outskirts of the city? I could only rationalize my behavior by blaming it on repression—make that years of repression, on every level. Sure, we hadn’t done anything too irreversible, but still, I looked a little compromised even in my own eager eyes.
Jared was fully back on the driver’s side of the car now and apparently still hopeful because he hadn’t tried to adjust his clothing. I tried to raise up the car seat.
“How are you doing?” he asked in a slow seductive drawl.
Did he have to ask? I forced my eyes to hold his gaze because I desperately needed to redeem the situation.
“Look, I should tell you that I’m not in the habit of coming to the woods in the middle of the night and getting this carried away with strangers,” I said.
“I should hope not,” he said. “Besides, this isn’t the woods and I hardly call that getting carried away”
“Maybe, but you are a stranger. We met for the first time about two hours ago.”
“You’re not a stranger to me.”
What crap some men came up with. I chose to remain silent. Jared looked like he wanted to say something else but then changed his mind. A few seconds later he seemed to have decided.
“Come on,” he said as he leaned over and started to adjust my seat back to a more vertical position, “It’s getting late. I’d better get you back to your car.”
It was kind of hard to sort myself out completely in the cramped space, so I just ran with the program and did my best to straighten my clothing.
My car hadn’t been stolen. In fact, it had by now been joined by a few others. I could only assume that the occupants were watching the dark water of the lake through binoculars, smoking dope, or having torrid sex sessions.
As I stood beside my Yaris fiddling with the keys, Jared pulled me towards him and kissed me like we were real lovers. For a moment, I could almost have believed that he really cared.
Actually, it was still feeling pretty right just being there in his arms, but I had no time to dwell on that feeling because I thought I needed to get out of there. This was a guy that I had met on an internet dating site. We weren’t exactly teenagers so we should perhaps have known better than to fool around in the dark on a first date. That was just asking for trouble.
“I’ll call you,” he said gently, almost tenderly and my heart raced a little.
“Yeah, sure,” I said. Suddenly I wasn’t sure I wanted him to call—maybe I needed to forget this guy. I’d gone pretty far past my boundaries tonight and he was still a complete stranger.
I said goodbye and tried not to break my neck in my haste to get into the car. I drove home slowly because I really needed to think. I mean, clearly I hadn’t been thinking before! For Christ’s sake, what was wrong with me? How could I have been so stupid? I’d fallen right into that one. I mean, this guy apparently might have been very happy to go the distance with a woman he’d just met and I apparently would have been very happy to accommodate him had we been in a less confined space. Man—I was in no position to judge anyone, ever again!
Once home, I jumped in the shower and only came out because the phone was ringing non-stop.
I seized it, “Yeah?”
“Is that how you answer your phone?”
Jared’s voice sounded husky…sleepy… sexy. I hadn’t even bothered to look who could have been calling.
“Apparently. No—not usually; I’m sorry.”
“I’m just calling to make sure you’re okay,” he said.
“Yeah. Sure—why wouldn’t I be?”
“No reason. Just, you know, you seemed a bit worried about the whole evening.”
What evening? He surely couldn’t be referring to the quick coffee and the equally quick little groping session down by the water that I was probably going to have a hard time forgetting?
“I’m good,” I said.
I figured if I was going to do a post-mortem, I wanted to do it by myself. Then I felt bad for being a grouch because I wasn’t sure why I was feeling and acting like a victim.
“Okay, so I’d better let you get some rest. You have a good night and I’ll catch up with you later on in the week.”
Now, how was he just treating me like I was his long-time girlfriend?
“Yeah, sure, you too.”
I sounded abrupt, even to myself. God, I really needed to lighten up because there was no need to take it out on him. Maybe I was frustrated because I’d been so tempted tonight. Yes, he was smooth and he’d known what he was doing, but really, hadn’t I’d been quite happy to go along for the ride?
The plain truth, though, was that Todd and I had been dating on and off for three years and I’d known Jared for less than a week—if I included the messaging and phone calls. Yet I’d almost thrown caution to the wind with him on our very first meet-up. I’d felt more in tune with our activities than I’d ever felt with Todd.
I didn’t even dare analyze what I could have been thinking because I had apparently been prepared to drive off into the sunset with him in a very short space of time.
I needed to get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow I could find some kind of chastity belt device and lock my female parts away for good because it would appear that my self-control was not as great as I had hitherto believed. I wondered then how far I would have been prepared to go with Jared on a first date had the location been right.
CHAPTER FOUR
“So, how was the big date?”
You could rely on Ria to get straight to the point. I had scarcely set foot into her pristine apartment before the questions began to fly.
“It was okay, I guess. You know what first dates are like.”
I tried to sound casual. It had hardly been my usual first date. I’d gone further on that one date with Jared than I had ever done, even by date number five, with anyone new. I shook my head to banish the memories, “How’s Josh?”
Ria glanced at me and then said, equally casually, “Josh is doing pretty good. It’s always fun babysitting my one and only nephew. He’s through there watching TV—oh, and Mom’s here.”
“Forewarned is forearmed,” I muttered as I followed the noise through to the lounge.
Josh jerked his attention away from the TV and launched himself at me, “I missed you, Mom.”
“Me too, sugar. I really missed you. Did you have a good time with Auntie Ria?”
“Oh, yes,” Josh said loosening his death grip from around my neck so that I could plunk a kiss on his cheek.
“Where’s your grandma?”
“She went to the bathroom to take her pills; she’ll be back in a minute.”
“So, what have you guys been up to?”
“We watched a movie last night and Aunt Ria gave me lots of candies and ice cream and told me not to tell you.”
“Traitor,” said Ria coming into the room, “I thought that was our little secret. Some fine nephew you turned out to be.”
Josh grinned, “Oops, sorry. I forgot about that. Can I watch the end of Power Rangers before we have to leave please, Mom?”
“Sure, kiddo.”
My mother chose that moment to walk through an adjoining door.
“Ah, Shaniah, I thought I heard your voice. Did you have a nice night out?”
Try to keep things casual, Shaniah. She’s not psychic; no way can she know how wanton you wanted to be last night.
I dropped a light kiss on her cheek. She smelt of talcum powder and Rive Gauche.
“Yes, Mom, I had a good time. Thanks for asking.”
“Well, if you’re dating again, I sure hope you pick a good one this time. Your taste in men could perhaps use a bit of polishing.”
I sta
red at her. Her hair was cropped into a pleasant if predictable middle-aged style. She was a slender woman whose features would be more beautiful if she would allow herself to be happy.
Her seemingly innocent comment had the usual sting in the tail. She always knew just where to stick the knife in.
Josh was staring up at both of us with intrigue so I figured now wasn’t the time to deal with my ‘mommy issues’.
Ria cleared her throat, “I’m just going to make some tea.”
“I’ll come with you, Ria,” I said hastily. “Josh, maybe Grandma can watch the end of Power Rangers with you; I need to have a quick chat with Auntie Ria.”
Mom’s eyes narrowed because she was neither a fan of young people nor their entertainment choices. However, she moved over to the sofa, “Come, honey,” she said propelling Josh by the shoulder. “We know when we’re not wanted. Let’s see what the Power Rangers are up to.”
“Are you gonna fall asleep again, grandma?”
“What nonsense! Of course I’m not going to fall asleep.”
Once in the kitchen, Ria said, “I’m sorry about what Mom said back there. She just showed up this morning without warning—well you know what she’s like.”
I grunted. Mom was getting a bit older, but who wasn’t? I didn’t think she could continue to use age as an excuse for her behavior. I tried to be patient, understanding and maybe even sympathetic but she didn’t make it easy.
“Anyway,” Ria continued, “I’m dying to hear about your date. Are you going to see him again?”
An image of dark water sloshing gently against the hidden sand and the feel of powerful but gentle hands stroking my body flashed through my mind.
“Maybe. I’ll see if he calls.”
“If you like him, why not just call him up?”
“Nah, I like the man to do the chasing,” I said.
“Yeah, right, so good luck with that approach. For all you know he could be the one and you could miss out on the man of your dreams, by following some old-fashioned code of conduct.”