by Rayne O'Gara
“You went to their place and grabbed the baby bag?” I ask Sofie.
“Oh no, hon. I had a separate one in my car just in case of emergencies like this one,” she explains.
After I nod and smile at her, Luc leans over and whispers into my ear, “Mother Hen.” Yeah, I get it. And I am very thankful we have someone like her in our lives. Yes she is loud, nosey, blunt…and so loving, caring, and big hearted. Where would Luc and I be if it weren’t for Sofie? Still yelling and fighting instead of together and happy, that’s where. So in the future, when she wants to do some scheming, I say I’m all in…providing it’s not illegal. This is Sofie we are talking about, there does need to be some guidelines.
The room becomes more and more crowded as time goes by. People making phone calls so others wouldn’t miss this occasion, who in turn call more people, and so on. I think by the time Alex comes out to announce the birth of Jackob Eli Kavanah, a healthy baby boy at seven pounds, eight ounces, and twenty-one and a half inches long, the whole fire department and some of the police force is waiting alongside us. A great cheer goes up at the announcement. So much so, a nurse comes in to shush us.
Alex comes over to let us know that after Sofie and Rob’s visit, it’s Luc’s and my turn. Only so many people allowed in at a time, even if Roman does push for larger groups. I think his motivation is the more people at once the faster everyone will leave them alone.
Not wanting to take up a lot of time so they could be alone with their new family member, I tell myself not to stay long. Congrats then see ya. My plan is working really well, at first. I walk over to an exhausted but glowing Cait holding a blue swaddled bundle in her arms. Luc gives those hug-slash-back-slap things to Alex then Roman saying he is so happy for them. We are about to make our exit when she asks the dreaded question.
“Would you like to hold him, Auntie Harm?” Cait asks me softly.
Crap! I am going to be sucked in, there is no escape…except…I look over to Luc for help, but get a huge go-for-it smile instead. Turning back to Cait, I open my arms and cradle the perfect little boy to my chest.
My heart melts with the first wiggle in my arms. So tiny. A small soft fuzz of red hair crowns his head and I wink at Cait.
“He’s so perfect and beautiful, Cait,” I whisper to her and start to coo at sweet baby Jake. His eyes open and I know it’s not true, but it feels like he is looking inside me. Seeing what kind of person I am. His eyes slide close once more as he falls to sleep in my arms. I am trusted.
I look over to catch Luc’s eyes blazing at me holding the little one. It’s lust, but not like sexual lust. A wanting so fierce I could feel it across a room. With that one look everything snaps into place for me. There is no expiration date with us. I don’t care that I am scared. That I don’t know what is in our future, but damn I want to find out. I know now that I am going to hold on till the very end with him, whether that means marriage and kids till death do we part, or until our relationship just crumbles beneath us. Either way, no more looking and waiting for the end. I love him. I love him so much it hurts and that’s scary. But so very worth it.
I brush my lips across Jake’s forehead and inhale the perfect baby smell. I want to know what it will feels like to hold Luc’s baby in my arms. In my belly. Even giving birth. Not so much the last part, but if it were Luc’s, then oh yeah.
Oh good Lord…I sound like a stalker.
Handing the baby back to momma, I say my good-byes then Luc and I walk out together. Just a couple steps down the hallway I stop and tug him to a stop beside me. I look up in to his sweet brown eyes and I can’t wait any longer.
“I love you, Luccas. So much.” I try to be strong but the tears escape anyway. I start blushing with embarrassment and try to move the conversation. “I just wanted to say that to you. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Shall we go eat? We can meet up with Sofie somewhere.”
“Harm, baby.” Luc’s hands come up to cup my face and a pained expression covers his features.
Oh shit…I just fucked up. Here comes the letdown. Fuck, fuck, fuck!
“I love you fiercely, Harmony Saint-Marks. Your sass, temper, and bitchiness drive me fucking crazy, but I won’t live without it, without you. Your sexy body drives me wild and I can never keep my hands off…even when I am supposed too, pending sexual harassment charges.”
“Luc!” I admonish him, but smile after his name leaves my lips.
“All playing aside. I have loved you for years, cuore mio. I’ve just been waiting for you to realize you can’t live without me either. Feels really fucking good that you finally have.” Luc whispers the last before sealing our mouths together in a kiss that defines our love. Hot and passionate with sweet and tender all rolled in together.
Our hands hold each other as close as possible and all I think is where is the nearest secluded place we can find, because I need to feel him inside of me. Vibrations start to pull me away from Luc’s so very tempting mouth, and I growl in frustration at being stopped.
Pulling it out from my pocket, I notice the cell number.
“It’s Heather,” I mumble to Luc as I answer the call.
“Hello?” I ask the receiver. Why is my stomach starting to hurt all of a sudden?
Listening to her quick ramble, I feel the blood drain from my face. Luc’s happy face falls into concern as I look at him with wide eyes. I hang up with Heather and breathe deeply, trying to hold back the panic.
“Baby, what’s wrong? What did Heather say?”
“There…there was an accident.” Clearing my throat, I push the sickening words out and watch the panic rise in Luc’s face to mirror my own.
“Shiloh was hit by a car and is en route to this hospital right now.”
*****
Luccas…
She loves me. Yes! She fuckin’ loves me! Jesus, it took her long enough. I was dying there for a while. Holding her in my arms and knowing her feelings for me is the best feeling. Nothing could bring me off this high right now.
Having talked to her father last week was a great decision. Desk work won’t be so damn boring if I have her to come home to at night. We can start a family. A handful of kids running around. I have to get her to move into my place. The apartment is all good but we need room to grow.
Mmmm…I bet we-just-said-I-love-you-to-each-other-for-the-first-time sex is better than makeup sex. Yes, I have made love to her numerous times, but I still think she had blinders on and stuck with calling it just sex…or fucking. This time, we both are on the same page and I can show her I much I love her.
Her buzzing phone slows my libido, slightly. I have every intention of finding a dark corner somewhere and loving her brains out as soon as she hangs up. Her face falls and goes pale. What is going on?
She hangs up the phone and my heart starts pounding. Something is really wrong. Harm clears her throat after a garbled attempt of telling me what was said by the person on the other side of the line.
“Shiloh was hit by a car and is en route to this hospital right now.”
My heart stops.
Our little girl.
All the happiness I was just feeling evaporated. I didn’t say anything to Harmony because I knew letting Shiloh go was hard for her and I didn’t want to add to it. I fell in love with that little girl just as hard as she did. Visions of her laying on the pavement, hurt and scared, brings moisture to my eyes and it feels like a steel band across my chest. She has to be all right. She has to be.
I grab Harmony’s hand and we take off toward the elevators. The emergency entrance is on the other side of the hospital, taking us a while to get there. Once the elevator doors slide close and we start the trip down, I wrap my arms around her waist and tug her into my arms. Harmony is shaking life a leaf.
“She is going to be fine, baby,” I try to soothe but I can’t put any conviction behind my words. I am just as scared as her, but I need to be strong for Harm. Me breaking down like her won’t help anything, and having two hysteri
cal people won’t solve anything.
I give her shuddering body one last big hug before I pull away. Moving her head up with my hands, I lose my breath in her tear-sheened eyes. Catching by breath, I wipe the tears streaking her cheeks.
“She is going to be okay, cuore mio.” I try to lift her hopes, but the scared look in her eyes tells me nothing but seeing Shiloh is going to help her. Instead of words for support, I hold her tightly. Then we pace in the large waiting room. On our, what has to be hundredth turn, Heather and the foster parents arrive.
Harmony’s eyes light up then narrow in the all too familiar pissed off I-am-kicking-someone’s-ass way. Grabbing up her hand, I twine our fingers together and exert a little pressure to her pressure point. Just enough to get her attention through her haze. It works. With a silent shake of my head, she understands me and takes in a deep breath. Once her eyes clear and her breathing regulates, I lead her over to the small three-person group.
“What happened?” Harmony croaks out.
“It happened so fast. We were all playing in the yard then all of a sudden screeching tires and screams everywhere. Her ball…she went after her ball,” the mother explains shakily.
We never saw Shiloh. Arriving, checking in, nothing. Thankfully it wasn’t long before a doctor came in and called for us. Not us specifically, but we went with them all the same.
“She is a very lucky little girl. Scrapes, bruises, and a broken arm. We are setting the cast right now and she will be ready to leave in just a bit. Make sure she gets plenty of fluid and Tylenol will help with the pain. If it is still too much for her, I am going to go ahead and put in a pain reliever prescription just in case. Four year olds can be a little cranky when in pain,” the doctor explains to us with a smile.
A huge weight is lifted off my chest. A broken arm was the most damage… Thank God! I tug Harmony into my arms and kiss her fiercely. Elation and relief pour from me. I see the same emotions from Harmony. Her big topaz eyes shine at me while I sit us down and just hold her close.
“Luc?” Her soft breathy voice gets me every time. I don’t think she understands yet how much she means to me. How much I care for her.
“Yes, cuore mio.”
“I want to adopt Shiloh. I want her to be mine,” she whispers and her eyes fall down to her lap.
Hell yeah.
My heart was already lost to that sweet little girl. We went to see her a week after giving her back to Heather’s care and to her new foster parents. It was really nice of the couple to let us into their home for a visit. After giving Harm a good squeeze and kisses, Shiloh cuddled me on my lap for almost the remainder of the time we were there. She was so excited to see us. Her little chubby hand in mine and the other one in one of Harmony’s, she led us through a tour of her new temporary home. Playground equipment in the backyard seemed safe enough to me. And she had other children, noticeably older than her, but still someone to play with. What I did not tell Harm was when she was cuddling me, a whispered ‘daddy’ came from her lips to my ears before she snuggled deeper into my arms. I know it’s not the manly thing, but my eyes burned with unshed tears. Walking away from Shiloh that day was extremely hard, and now the woman of my heart and dreams is giving me a chance at the family I desperately want.
I smile widely as pictures of our future play in my head. I love what I see.
“Harmony. I want her to be ours.” Her head snaps up at my words and her eyes hold shock.
“I fell in love with her just as fast as you did. I want to be your husband and her daddy.”
“Oh I love you. I love you so much, Luccas.”
“I love you too, cuore mio, mondo mio. My heart, my world.
Epilogue
Eight months later…
Harmony…
It’s perfect. I never thought I would be here. None of this was in my plan of success.
I gaze at myself in the mirror. The ridiculously smiling woman in white stares back. I am so happy. So glad I detoured and broke free from the lonely track I was on before Luc.
I gave all the fear and rebellion up and I haven’t been happier than these last months. In just a few moments Luc is going to be my husband! Mine, all mine. Well, and Shiloh’s.
The adoption went very smoothly and quick. I catch sight of my little flower girl daughter in the mirror with me and beckon her closer.
“You look like a princess, Mommy.” Her sweet voice warms my heart and I am near bursting with emotion.
“Thank you, my angel. You look like a beautiful princess too.”
“Can I wear this dress all the time? I really really like it,” she asks me with hope in her big blue eyes.
Luc and I spoil her something fierce, but there is still lingering fear. She is still afraid to ask for what she wants. Still afraid to be excited about something for fear it will get taken away. We will get there fully. Our biggest hurdle is the honeymoon. Going away for the weekend is going to be incredible, but there will be abandonment issues with her. It has to be done in order to show her that we will come back to be with her.
“Mommy?”
I smile at her and come back to the now. Pulling the white silk and lace up onto my hips a bit, I am able to crouch down to her level.
“Yes, baby doll.”
Shiloh leans over and whispers, the best way a four-year-old can, in my ear. “Daddy gave me something for you!”
“What is it? A flower?” I ask her excitedly. Her blond curls fly with her head shake. “A card?” I ask again. Once again her curls fly around her face when she answers no. “Hmm…I give up. What did Daddy get me?”
Shiloh’s little tinkling laughter follows my question and she reaches under the big ruffles in her dress. She pulls out a little white box. No wrapping paper, but it is tied with a red ribbon. I wink at Shiloh and pull the end of the ribbon away, unwrapping the box.
Taking off the lid, I gasp in shock.
“Daddy says every princess should have a crown. When I go back he is giving me my very own one!”
The beautiful sparkling tiara is beyond words right now. How did I get so lucky?
“It’s beautiful. Tell Daddy thank you so much and I am putting it on right now. Now give me a kiss and go get your princess crown.” I get a quick kiss and a whoop from her before she is running out of the dressing room door.
Turning back to the mirror, I settle the tiara in my fixed hair and attach the veil behind it. It is a beautiful day.
I freaked out just a couple days ago about today. It wasn’t cold feet, but it was a huge slide that way. I was second-guessing everything, even Luc’s feelings for me. He set me straight in his normal over the top romantic gestures and I felt better and more secure about the wedding. I hope he never stops doing the romantic things for me. He is Italian…so I hold high hopes in that respect.
I look around me at the fluttering bridesmaids, family, and my maid of honor and smile.
I’m about to be married!
*****
Luccas…
Oh shit. Oh shit.
I unwrap the damn bowtie again and try to straighten out the damn wrinkles I keep putting in it. Stupid things. Where’s Vik when I need him? I never mastered this damn thing, but he can whip a tie into shape in a snap. Where the fuck is my best man!
Viktor got in from his last mission a few days ago, just in time for the wedding. His battle buddy, Killian ‘Reaper’ Graves, arrived with him. I have only met the dude a couple times before, but he’s a good guy. They say it was their last mission and are now free men. Needing a place to stay, Harm and Shiloh moved into my place so Vik and Killian will be staying in Harmony’s old apartment. It will work for a bit, until we can get them some place bigger.
I peek out of the curtain separating the small room I am in from the church atrium, trying to find Vik. I spot Killian propped up in a chair in the way back with his back to the wall. His eyes never stop moving…assessing everything.
A little blur of red and blond pulls my eyes off th
e warrior and on to my daughter. I love the sound of that. My daughter. Harmony says the adoption went through really quickly, but it still took too long for me. I was ready for a family. I had a feeling, but now I am sure I was meant for a big family. Starting with Shiloh. And now…with marrying the woman I love.
“Daddy, Daddy! I gave Mommy her crown! She’s a fairytale princess now, a real one!” Her arms swing around my neck when I bend over to hug her. Lifting her up when I stand, I walk over to the chair and mirror. With us standing just right, I pull out her own princess crown and settle it on the crown of her head. The overhead lights catch the stones and send tiny rainbows scattering over every surface. My little rainbow herself giggles and wraps her arms around my neck tighter.
“Thank you, Daddy.”
“You’re welcome, angelo mio.”
Setting her down, I look out the curtain again. Still no luck with that man!
I snatch up a notecard and pen off the little side table and scribble a note quickly. Maybe Killian knows where he is. I hand off the note to Shiloh and send her back to her mom. This ball is about to start rolling and I’ve lost my best man!
*****
Bronwyne…
She is so beautiful. I am so very happy for my sister. She is on her way to a perfect life. Yes, I may be slightly jealous, but she deserves everything she is getting. A wonderful man. A sweet little daughter. A fairytale wedding and a happily ever after.
I stumble a bit on the high heels I was given as I make my way to the white goddess in front of a huge mirror. I slide my arm around her waist when I get next to her and smile in the mirror at her reflection.
“I love you, Bronnie,” she whispers.
“Love you too, sis. You’re gorgeous.”
“You are pretty stunning yourself. I told you I would pick good bridesmaids dresses. And your dress suits you very much,” she says with a wink.