Dearest Cowboys Box Set

by Mia Brown

  She froze when I kissed her, and for a moment, I wasn’t sure if she was going to pull away or slap me or something. Until this moment, none of what I had felt toward her had manifested. Apart from some light flirting, we had been nothing but colleagues of sorts.

  Now, it was different. By pulling her against me, I might have changed everything.

  She melted, relaxing in my arms, the tension leaving her body. And she kissed me back.

  She opened her lips, and I pushed my tongue into her mouth. She met my tongue with her own, and her arms wrapped around my neck. I ground myself against her, rubbing my hard dick around her crotch. She gasped into my mouth, her hands in my hair. The kiss was urgent. I kissed her so deeply that she didn’t know whose air she was breathing.

  I spun her around and pushed her against the wall, pinning her with my body. I ground myself against her, my hand on her breast, massaging her. Her breath hitched in her throat, and I was so tempted to strip her down and take her right here. I had to exert every ounce of self-control that I had not to drag her off and have my way with her.

  I loved the feeling of her body pressed up against mine. It had been a while since I had slept with anyone, and Vanessa was an exciting and challenging woman. I felt her soft moans against my lips and nibbled on her bottom lip. I wanted her so bad. I pictured her removing her clothes and then going down on me.

  The hose I had dropped when I’d spun her around sputtered at our feet and sprayed up right between us, pushing us apart with an icy spray. Vanessa gasped, and I stepped back, breaking the kiss. She was dripping wet now, too. Her nipples were hard from the cold, and they pushed through her shirt, making her look sexy as fuck. She looked at me and laughed nervously.

  What a way to cool down. Right when things had heated up. I was disappointed we’d been interrupted. I’d wanted a release. I’d wanted to get back into the motion, to do what I did best.

  Vanessa shook her head, pushing her wet hair back with her hands.

  “I have to get out of here,” she said. She smiled tightly at me before she walked past me and disappeared around the corner of the house, leaving me alone with the sputtering hose at my feet. I walked to the tap and turned off the water.

  Ten

  Vanessa

  Oh, my God. I couldn’t believe we’d done that. It had been beyond hot. And completely unacceptable. I couldn’t do this, not with Ace. I had told myself from the start that I refused to be another number to him, and I would stick to that decision.

  Everything had been different than I’d thought it would be, though. In the past couple of days, I’d started to see a guy that was completely different than the person I’d thought he was. I had judged him based on what I’d heard of him.

  Now that I was involved in his life and knew a bit about who he was, everything had started changing. He wasn’t just a womanizing son of a bitch. Maybe he’d been once upon a time. Maybe that had been the face he’d put on. But the man that took care of his mom, the man that worked himself to death every day with his brother was someone else.

  The moment had been crazy. If the circumstances had been right, I might have let him go further. It had been intoxicating with him, and every fiber of my being had ached to let him do what he wanted to me. Even the water and how wet we were, how see-through his shirt had been and how he’d drenched me—in more ways than one—had been hot.

  I had been picturing him stripping me down and bending me over right then and there when the hose squirted us with the water.

  But I couldn’t let something like this happen again. Ace Roper had a reputation, and I couldn’t let myself get involved this way. It wasn’t only because I knew he was the type to hit and run. That would have hurt me. It was also about his life and that I was getting involved in it. Jaclyn was a beautiful person inside and out, and I had started to grow very fond of her. Her terrible lot in life got to me, and I cried for her.

  It was about Alana, Ace’s childhood friend that took care of Jaclyn as if she were her own mother and went out of her way to do her job exceptionally well, even if it was as simple as mucking stalls.

  It was about Andrew and Ace working together as a team to make things happen around the ranch despite the lack of help.

  And it was about Ace’s offer for me to work with them so that I didn’t have to go home and be there with my parents.

  These were all the things I had noticed lately, and these were the reasons why I couldn’t have a one-night stand with Ace. I couldn’t walk that road with him. I wouldn’t.

  He was a playboy, and after knowing all of that about his life, I would fall for him in ways that I couldn’t afford to if we did anything more than we had already done. I would get hurt, and that was the last thing I was here for.

  “Vanessa,” he called after when I turned around and walked away from him. God, I wanted to turn back. I wanted to turn back so badly. But I wanted him, and if I turned back now, there was no telling what I would do, what I would allow him to do, and that was dangerous. I knew myself well enough to know when to walk away.

  Walking away wasn’t always about not wanting someone. Sometimes, it was about wanting them too much.

  “Come on, don’t be like this,” he said, coming after me. I closed my eyes for a moment before turning around.

  He jogged to catch up to me and stopped right in front of me. His body was amazing—his muscles showed through his wet white shirt that clung to him, and I envied it.

  I pushed the thoughts away and forced myself to look him in the eye.

  “I’m sorry, Ace,” I said. “I can’t do this. We shouldn’t.”

  He blinked at me, and it looked like he wanted to say something, but then he shrugged.

  “Okay,” he said.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Okay.”

  I shook my head. “I heard you. That’s all you’re going to say about it?”

  He looked down at me, and his face was expressionless, bored almost.

  “What else do you want me to say? You don’t want to do it, then fine; we won’t do anything.”

  My mouth dropped open. A moment ago, passion and want had run rampant. Desire had coursed through my veins, and I’d been sure that he’d felt what I’d felt. Now, it seemed like he really didn’t care.

  This was the man I’d heard about: the man I’d thought Ace was. It turned out that on some level, I was right.

  Yes, his life was difficult right now, but he was a dick. He could make a woman believe that she was all he wanted, and then he could move on like it meant nothing to him at all.

  “I have to take care of a few more things,” he said. “I’ll see you around.”

  He walked passed me heading toward the fields, and I stood there, gaping at him, wondering how the hell I could have been so wrong. Everything I had felt was a lie. This was how he played the game, how he got so many women interested. And how he pushed them aside. Ace the womanizer.

  I was suddenly furious. Not only because he had made me believe that there was something special between us, or because he had pulled me in for a kiss when nothing about it had been appropriate—even though I had let it happen—but because he was the one that walked away from me now. I had backed off, but he was ultimately the one calling the shots, the one to walk away when it suited him.

  And that pissed me off in a way I didn’t usually get pissed off.

  But that was how it was going to be, then. If he was going to walk away from me, he had to keep walking. I wasn’t going to run after him to find out what the hell had happened; if whatever it was had been as good for him as it had been for me. He was the kind of man that women fawned over, and I wouldn’t be one of them. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of running after him.

  I was so angry. Angry that he had led me to believe that the rumors about him had been wrong. I felt tricked and cheated. I felt like he had led me on, and even though we had done nothing, I felt betrayed and rejected.

  I imagined how much wor
se it would have been if I’d had sex with him. If I’d done anything else with him. I was so glad I’d put down my foot and said no.

  I turned to the barn. I had things I wanted to take care of, too. I wouldn’t let something like this get to me.

  My stomach flipped when I thought about how he’d kissed me, his hard cock grinding against me, his hands on my body. But I pushed it away. Just because he knew how to get butterflies in my stomach, or because he was the best kisser I’d ever come across or any of the other things, I wasn’t going to let him get to me.

  Ace had fucked and forgotten too many girls to count. I would not be one of them.

  I went to the bunkhouse first to get dressed in dry clothes. I rubbed my hair with a towel to get rid of most of the water. My hair was naturally wavy, and now that it was wet, it was going back to its natural style.

  I wasn’t going to blow it out or anything, not now. This was what it would have to look like.

  When I was done, I walked to the barn. I stopped at the door and popped my head in, checking to see if Ace was there. I didn’t want to be in the barn if he was. The last thing I wanted was to be caught alone with him somewhere. I didn’t trust him. I didn’t trust myself. Even though I knew now who he was, I was still attracted to him. And he was so damn persuasive, it was better not to be alone with him at all.

  When I was sure he wasn’t in the barn, I stepped in and made my way to the calves’ section. Cookie was in her stall, lying down on the hay in the corner.

  “Hey, baby girl,” I said. “Did they feed you today?”

  I checked the chart where it was written down each day. She’d had two bottles already.

  “Good,” I said. “Because I’ll have to come see to it that you’re fed if they won’t look after you.” Of course, they would look after her. It was their job on this ranch, and even though Ace was an asshole, he would never neglect the animals or the ranch. Just the women in his life, because somehow, they meant less than the animals.

  I tried not to think about it too much. It would just piss me off all over again.

  I tried to shake the feelings I had. It had felt so damn good with Ace it was hard to forget. My stomach flipped whenever I thought back to his hands on my body. His hands were large and rough, calloused from hard work, but he knew how to use them. I shivered when I thought about how he kissed me, and my body responded to the memory of how he’d pinned me against the wall. He had turned me on so much, and remnants of that arousal still clung to me.

  I pushed away the thoughts. He didn’t deserve me even thinking about him and what he’d done. That would give him more than enough of my energy already.

  To keep myself busy, I walked to the station where they stored milk for the calves and prepared a bottle. She had to eat soon, and I might as well jump in and take care of it. When I entered the stall with the milk, Cookie became excited.

  “You know what these are by now, don’t you?” I asked. I sat down on the hay with her and pulled her against me. I let her find the teat and watched as she drank, pumping the bottle with her nose the way she would have done if she’d been drinking from an udder.

  Jaclyn had mentioned more than once that she would never understand how a mother could push away her baby, but to me, that didn’t seem so far-fetched. My mom didn’t care for me the way I imagined Jaclyn could care about people. My mom was worried about my image, what others thought of me and the way I presented myself. I didn’t doubt that she cared about me in her own way, but it was more important to correct me every time I was wrong than accept me for who I was and love me all the same.

  I could fully understand a mother rejecting her child. It was how I felt.

  Maybe that was why I liked spending so much time here with Cookie. Maybe it was because I understood it a lot more than I wanted to admit.

  My thoughts drifted back to Ace and the life he had here. He had a mother that cared for him more than she cared for herself, and he accepted everything he was. That was rare.

  What would it be like to live on a ranch like that, surrounded by unconditional love? I tried to picture living here permanently, and it was easy. I knew what waited for me back home after all of this was over—boredom. A lack of passion. A mold that I had to fit into and constant disappointment because I couldn’t. That was all there was for me at home. It was why I had chosen to come here despite the position being something I had never dreamed of.

  Everything here at the ranch was exciting. I felt like I belonged here more than I’d ever felt at home, and I had been here for the shortest time.

  Maybe this place was what I needed. The excitement, the passion, the liberty to be completely genuine. Even Ace—as infuriating as he was—was exciting. I wouldn’t make the mistake of getting romantically involved with him, but someone like him and his life could be exactly what I needed.

  How I wished that I had the choice to stay here.

  Eleven

  Ace

  When I hung up the phone I was excited. I finally had a chance to catch a break. Lance had called—he was back in town, and I hadn’t seen the guy for years.

  He had been the fourth in our little gang when we’d grown up. Lance and Alana had spent as much time at the ranch as they could, and we had become best friends in a way Andrew and I would never be. He was older than me, and he’d left to study a while before I did. It had been lonely without him, and now that everything was going south at the ranch, talking to my best friend was exactly what I needed.

  I hurried through my chores for the day, pushing hard to get everything done. I wanted to earn my night off, to go out and have fun without worrying about anything I still needed to do. The prospect of a stiff drink and a long chat with my buddy was just what I needed as motivation to get it all done in record time.

  When I was finally done, the sun was sinking low, and it was time to get ready. I walked back to the house, passing the barn. I spotted Vanessa in the calf’s stall when I poked my head in the door. She sat on the hay with her, feeding her the bottle. I paused for a moment, considering it. She had pushed me away, and I didn’t blame her. If sex wasn’t what she wanted, I wasn’t going to argue with her. But she deserved a break like the rest of us.

  “Hey,” I said, stepping into the barn. “I’m going out tonight with an old friend. We’re probably going to be a little group. You’re welcome to join us if you want to.”

  She looked at me, hesitating.

  “It might be nice to get out a bit. You’ve worked hard, and we all need a break occasionally.”

  Vanessa nodded. “Yeah, okay,” she said. “I’ll get ready as soon as I’m done feeding Cookie.”

  “Cookie? You named it?”

  She smiled and nodded. I shrugged and left the barn again to go shower. I was glad Vanessa had agreed to come out. She’d been working hard, really throwing herself into the chores around here despite how little she knew about ranching. She deserved a chance to catch her breath as much as the rest of us. Besides, I wasn’t going to get to fuck her, apparently, but then at least I would get to spend some time with her. Even if it was in a group.

  Maybe talking to Lance about it would be a good idea. See what he thought of the whole thing. He would give me an outsider’s point of view. Of all the people I had in my life, he was the one that didn’t judge me at all.

  When I was done showering, I walked out to the bunkhouse.

  “I’m almost done,” Vanessa called from the bathroom when I called for her. “You can wait for me in the kitchenette.”

  I did as she suggested, getting a cold bottle of water from the fridge for myself and sitting down with it at the table. I cracked open the top and drank deeply. I thought about the way Vanessa was with the calf. It was sweet that she’d taken it on herself to care for the calf. When she’d arrived, I didn’t think she was serious about animals, but she had changed her tune the more work she did around the ranch. I liked that about a woman; I liked how she was open to learning new things and how she had ada
pted to the hard work. When she’d arrived, she looked like a city girl who wouldn’t want to get her hands dirty. I was impressed with how she’d risen to the challenge.

  Except for the calf. She’d named the poor thing. I was all for taking care of animals when they needed it, but naming them wasn’t a good idea. If you named them, you got attached to them, and getting attached to cows on the farm—cows that would end up being beef someday—wasn’t worth the heartache every time. I had learned that when I was a kid. It was all part of making a living. I’d grown up on a ranch, so life and death were an everyday thing, and so was putting ourselves above other creatures to survive.

  I didn’t have the heart to tell Vanessa that the calf she was falling in love with would probably end up as a Texan steak on someone’s plate one day. She wouldn’t be here that long—the auction for the new calves would take place at the end of next year. She could dote on the calf as much as she liked. Once she left the ranch, I would do with it what I did to all the others.

  Vanessa was done in the shower in record time. I heard her rummage around in the bunkhouse, and a short while later she appeared in the kitchenette, fully dressed and ready to go. I was impressed. I’d thought I would have to wait for hours for her to get ready.

  “You look nice,” I said, looking her up and down. She wore designer jeans like she had when she’d arrived and a low-cut top that left just enough to the imagination. It traced her curves, and I stared shamelessly. Her hair was down on her shoulders for a change—she’d been wearing it up around the ranch—and she’d put on makeup that made her eyes look almost indigo.