Dearest Cowboys Box Set

by Mia Brown

  I wanted to fist bump the air with satisfaction. I’d done it, I kicked ass just as I knew I did, and now Dan had to admit it too. Even if I didn’t necessarily give Dan what he wanted, he got a great result anyway. This was how I got so far. I did it by being the best that I could be. I didn’t compete with the rest of the world, only myself.

  “Oh, but before you change…” Dan wiggled his finger, indicating for me to come towards him. “I need to talk.”

  I didn’t want to go anywhere near him, I wanted to run like the wind, but I knew that I needed to at least hear what he had to say. I took tentatively steps towards him and waiting impatiently for him to speak.

  “You know, I heard some things about you, Emily. Some rumors…”

  “Of course you have,” I sighed with irritation. “The modelling world is all about rumors and trash talk.”

  “Well, this is a rumor that I think might be true. Especially after today. After watching you model, I’m sure.” He raked his eyes up and down me and dragged his tongue along his bottom lip like he wanted to eat me. It was damn near impossible to keep the shudder inside. “You are a virgin, aren’t you?”

  “I…” I jutted my chin out, refusing to be made a fool of because of that. “I’m a virgin, yes.”

  He stifled a laugh. “I could show you a good time, you know? Because I also have a good reputation and it’s one for taking the girls who give something to me to the top. You heard of Tia Campbell? Maria Shark? Alana?”

  I gulped, knowing that they were all the people who’s careers I wanted to emulate. I wanted to be a house hold name, on all the cat walks, at every fashion show, wanted by the big brands… but I wasn’t willing to pay that price.

  “I’m not going to sleep my way to the top, thank you very much,” I growled back.

  “Who said anything about sleeping?” He reached out and touched my hair, but I snatched away instantly. “I don’t want you sleeping anywhere near you. I want t fuck you rotten. To corrupt you in every way.”

  “Urgh, you really are disgusting. Men like you are why I’m waiting for marriage.”

  “For marriage?” he exclaimed, clearly shocked. “That’s ridiculous. How can you know that you want to marry someone if you haven’t even seen their cock? We aren’t in the oppressed age where marriages is essential now.”

  “That’s your opinion. I’m not mocking you for that. Why are you concerned about me?”

  “My opinion is the normal one, that’s why.”

  “So, you think it’s more normal to screw around and give people good careers if they have sex with you?”

  He looked taken aback, but he rapidly regained himself. “Ooh, you’re so black and white, aren’t you? Why don’t you try having a little bit of fun? Maybe then you wouldn’t be so stuck up?”

  I stomped away from him, refusing to listen for even another second longer. I was used to people taking the piss out of me because of my decisions, but Dan was off the scale. I really didn’t want to ever work with him again. As I slipped in to the changing room and I ripped the sports wear off, I seethed with anger. How dare he be like that?

  As I waited outside for my ride to arrive, I put in a call to my manager at the modeling agency, Rebecca. I needed somewhere to let the rage out. Someone’s ear to bash all of this in to.

  “Hey, Emily,” she answered in her usual care free happy way. “How did the shoot go?”

  “It was a nightmare, that’s how.” I sighed. “Dan is a complete prick. He treated me like shit. The afterwards, he made his advances at me. Suggesting that if I have sex with him, I’ll go to the top.”

  “Mmmm, he is a dick,” Rebecca replied, but she didn’t sound as indignant as I wanted. “He’s known for it. And much as I’m not advising it, I never would, the girls who have given in to his demands have made it far.”

  “Are you kidding me? You aren’t hinting I should?”

  “No, no, no. I’m just saying that you want your career to go to the next level…”

  “I can’t listen to this, Rebecca,” I interrupted, wishing that I’d gone somewhere else with my temper. She was clearly a massive mistake. “I don’t want to even think about going anywhere near him.”

  “Okay, of course you don’t. But we do need to think of a way to progress your career, don’t we?”

  “Yes, we do.” I nodded enthusiastically. “I’m keen to start making it to the top.”

  “Right, well I suppose I should let you know all about the feedback then.” I stiffened. I knew that I wasn’t going to like this. “Because people believe you’re a bit too wholesome for the modelling game.”

  “Wholesome?” I practically screamed. “What does that mean?”

  “I think… well, I think you know what that means. A lot of companies need a bit of an edge. Now, I think the way that you are is great, but companies need a bit more of a mystery with their models, and right now you don’t offer that. Nor do you offer the free publicity that a lot of other models do.”

  “Oh, what by falling out of night clubs drunk? By being seen at every party? That isn’t me…”

  “I know, you volunteer instead, which I think is wonderful, but it doesn’t get papped, does it?”

  I nodded, knowing that she was right, but I really didn’t want to change who I was. “So, what can I do?”

  “Well, you could always go out on a date? That wouldn’t be clubbing but it’d be something.”

  Dating? The idea scared the living shit out of me. I’d dated a couple of times over the last few years, but it never worked out. Half because I was so busy with work and half because most men didn’t want to wait for marriage.

  “I don’t know about that, Rebecca. I don’t think it’s the right time…”

  “Okay, do you really want to know what they call you, Emily? The Modeling Nun, because you are never seen with anyone and because you’re viewed as either too perfect or boring.”

  Okay, I didn’t like that. Not one bit. But surely no one would want to be called dull? No wonder I couldn’t move on with my career. But how could I shake off that image without changing who I was?

  “Right, I see, so what do you suggest that I do about that?”

  “I think you need to try dating, that’s what. Be seen with someone with an edge. Someone that will make people talk. That way, you’ll have that element of mystery and you will immediately become more interesting. But in the mean time, I have just had some information about a job for a rodeo outside of Cheyenne.”

  “A rodeo? That will be a bit different for me.” Not in real life, of course. I wasn’t from Chicago I just lived here now. I actually came from a small town with many rodeos and cowboy events… but work wise it wasn’t anything I’d ever been around. I’d spent a lot of time trying to step out of those shoes. Did I really want to go back?

  “I know. A mechanical bull company need some babes on the scene to help out.”

  “Are you talking about riding the bull in a bikini?” I had vague memories of that, and it wouldn’t be me!

  “No, just jeans and tee shirts for the job. It’s nothing too overtly sexy, don’t worry, I wouldn’t put you forward for it otherwise.” That stuck in my throat. I didn’t like the idea of missing out on work just because it was ‘too sexy’ for me. But I suppose that was the choice I’d made. “But I actually think that you will be great at this.”

  “Yeah, that sounds good actually. I like the idea of that. A rodeo could be fun.”

  “Fabulous, I will send over the details for you then. And hey, while you’re there, if you find any bad boy cowboys while you’re there, try and be seen on their arm. Shake off that nun image.”

  I shuddered as I considered that, wondering what it would be like to spend time with a bad boy. I would have to let them know that it wasn’t a real fling of course, that I wouldn’t be jumping in to bed with anyone any time soon, but there could be other people who needed some publicity as well.

  “Yes, I’ll see what I can do, thank you, Rebec
ca. I appreciate the job offer. I won’t let you down.”

  As I hung up the phone to my manager, I tried to mentally prepare myself for what was to come next. I would have to head back to my roots for it, to go back to the small town girl I was, which was an image I tried to disguise most off the time, but that could be a lot of fun. Being me and connecting with the people in the world who I understood best… what could be better than that?

  Three

  Alex (next morning, early June)

  Denny’s Diner. My second home. Or at least it had become that ever since I moved out on my own and was forced to cook for myself. I could cook, that wasn’t the issue, I just couldn’t be assed most of the time. It was the effort. Especially in the morning for breakfast. Plus, by the time I came to eat, the place was often empty, leaving me with some time to talk to Kenzie by myself. We didn’t often get time just the two of us other wise.

  “Ah, and here he is!” she declared loudly as she spotted me slipping inside. “Time for bacon and eggs, huh?”

  “You know me!” I tipped my cowboy hat and chuckled. “I can’t rest Denny’s food.”

  “I’ll put and order in for you, then make you coffee, right? My little creature of habit.”

  I took my seat at the bar and waited for the coffee mug to make its way over to me. Once I’d taken a swig, I started. “Well, I’m not going to be able to be a creature of habit soon, will I?”

  “Nah, you surely won’t. Not when you’re out on the road, riding bulls, having fun at rodeos… all of that.”

  “Can you believe it? Me? Alex Fancy, just a nobody from nowhere, bull rider extraordinaire.”

  She laughed at me and shook her head. “I can’t believe a lot of things about you, Alex. But you’re going to do just great. Y’all will make Eureka Falls proud, don’t you worry about that. We’ll all be here, cheering for you. Following your career even if we’re all stuck here while you travel the country.”

  “Jeff said I have to behave.” I rolled my eyes. “To make sponsors want me.”

  “Hmm, I don’t mean to take his side over yours, but he might be right about that. I think it does put people off when you act like you don’t give a shit about anything. You need to let people know that you care.”

  “But they see how much I care when I’m on the bull, kicking ass. That’s all they need to worry about.”

  “It isn’t just about that though, is it? Not really. Your public presence counts too.”

  Her attitude irritated me a bit, she was supposed to be on my side. She was supposed to be my friend, the one who told me that Jeff was all wrong and I needed to just carry on as I was. I needed to prove that Jeff was wrong to her.

  “You know, Jeff also said that you broke up with Bradley because of me,” I spat out.

  Her eyes widened with surprise for just a moment. But then she regained herself. “I did break up with Bradley, that much is true. But that had everything to do with me, and nothing to do with you. I realized that Bradley wasn’t the man that I was going to marry, so I broke it off with him because what’s the point?”

  “So, you’re only going to date the man you marry? Kenzie, that’s insane, you’re only young.”

  “Just because I have a different opinion to you, doesn’t make it wrong. I just want to spend time with someone who might become the man that I marry. He doesn’t definitely have to be, but if he isn’t then there’s no point.”

  “For… you know, fun?” I offered, knowing how pathetic that sounded to a woman who had it all figured out.

  “I’m ready to settle down, I don’t need to sleep with everyone who crosses my path,” she teased.

  “So, it really had nothing to do with me?” I laughed, no longer biting it out angrily.

  “Maybe in high school, I liked you. But not anymore. I know much better… I know what I want, and you don’t. That’s not my type. I need a man who’s masculine enough to want commitment.”

  Even though there were a whole bunch of insults in there, I knew that Kenzie wasn’t trying to hurt me. I nodded and accepted her words. “Alright, fair enough, you need a man who’s much better than I am.”

  “Exactly. And I’m sure that one day, you will find the woman who makes you want to settle down as well. Although she will have to be pretty damn special to change your mind about commitment.”

  I couldn’t even picture the woman who would change my mind. There wasn’t anything about her that I knew. Hair color, the way she looked, how she was… I didn’t know who she was going to be.

  As Kenzie finally brought over my food and I dug in, I felt her eyes curiously upon me.

  “Just make sure it isn’t a groupie of any kind who only wants your money when you make it big.”

  “Ooh, I’m going to be surrounded by them, aren’t I?” I laughed. “Women everywhere. All wanting me.”

  “Yes, maybe so, but the wrong type of women. That’s what I’m trying to warn you against. Don’t be a fool.”

  I smirked. “So, you aren’t going to want anything from me when I’m rich and famous?”

  “Oh, well maybe a nice new dress and a night out to a fancy party… but that’s different because I have been in your life forever. You owe me because I’ve been around even during the hard times. That makes me different.”

  “Ah, I see. Different rules for you. I get it. That makes a lot of sense.” I nodded and grinned.

  “I just want to see what the wealthy live like, that’s all. See the other side of life. I mean, right now I’m a waitress in a small diner just struggling to get by. Girls like me don’t normally get to see those things.”

  “Oh, Kenzie, that’s enough of tugging on the heart strings. I will take you out when I’m rich.”

  She grinned brightly and skipped across the café to grab a brush to sweep up as we talked. This was Kenzie all over, unable to remain still. Hyper active is what she was always referred to as in high school.

  “You should let me introduce you to a woman,” Kenzie continued. “I will find you one who isn’t just after you for your money. All of my friends and my cousins actually, think that you’re hot…”

  That was too weird. My friend and the girl who used to have a crush on me setting me up. There was no way in hell. Plus, like I’d already decided, and she’d teased me about… settling down wasn’t for me.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Kenzie. Especially not now. I’m about to travel for six months…”

  “Ah, and you’ll be meeting lots of new women. Sure.”

  “No, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant it isn’t the time to think about dating someone.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t think dating anyone that you set me up with is a good idea either.”

  “Why not? Do you not trust my judgement? I could find you a good woman…”

  “I know, but I aint a good man, am I? I’m not the one who will be a husband.”

  “I keep telling everyone that you are an idiot and not worth dating because you just screw and leave… but they still like you anyway. I don’t get it, but for some reason, they do.” She shrugged helplessly. “They say it’s something to do with your rugged charm, but I don’t see it. Not with all the arrogance rolling through you.”

  “Arrogance?” I exclaimed, but she chose to completely ignore me.

  “But if they want you despite all of that, then who am I to judge? I could always link you up…”

  I wasn’t sure why she was pushing this so hard, but I would do whatever I could to push back because I knew that was the right thing to do for my friend. Much as sleeping with Kenzie would ruin our friendship, so would do the same with one of her friends and family members. Especially if she set us up!

  “I don’t think so, Kenzie. I just don’t want to end up pissing you and your friends off when I inevitably end up hurting them. Plus, you don’t want to listen to them ranting on about how good I am in bed…”

  She gave me a look of horror, followed by a laugh. I wondered if that was beca
use a small trace of her did still like me, or if she just wasn’t interested in knowing what I was like in the bedroom. She had to be the littlest bit intrigued though, surely? Even just for morbid curiosity reasons.

  “Or more like how much of an asshole you are,” she giggled. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”

  “Exactly. And the last thing I need is love. Not at this point in my life.”

  “Oh my God!” Kenzie tossed her head back and laughed with pure mirth. “You will be the first one to fall in love out of all of us. And it will hit you so hard, it’ll blind side you. I can’t wait to see that happen.

  “Nah, no way, not me. I don’t need love, you know that about me.”

  “Which is exactly why you’ll be the first. Don’t you see You’re basically asking for it.”

  “You say it like it won’t be something that’s completely under my control which it will be. Everything is always under my control. The only thing that sometimes goes astray are the bulls, but I’m pretty good at having them under my power too. You have no idea what you’re talking about, Kenzie.”

  “Right sure,” she replied with an infuriating knowingness. “We’ll see about that, won’t we? In the end either me or you will be right, and I have a funny feeling I know which one of us that will be.”

  “Will you quit it already? You’re starting to wind me up now!” I pinched my eyes together. “It won’t happen. I’m telling you. I will be super old before I’m calm enough to settle down and fall in love.”

  “I reserve the right to mock you hard when you have your wife on your arms. The future Mrs. Fancy.”

  “I’m going.” I stuffed the rest of the bacon in to my mouth. “I don’t have to take this from you.”

  But she did nothing but laugh as I left, her mirth echoing even as I got outside the diner. She really didn’t get it, just because she wanted love and all the happy ever after crap, didn’t make it right for everyone. She could get that white picket fence and the kids running around her feet if she wanted, but I had some living to do first. Lots of it. There was no way that I could find a woman who made me want to give other women up. Not a chance.