by Susan Stoker
I don’t know what’s going on with Lucky and Devyn. Gossiping isn’t really my thing, and we’ve been very busy. But no matter how busy we get, you’re never far from my mind. It’s been a whole month since I’ve seen you, and I seem to miss you more with each day that passes. I forgot how boring my life was until I met you. Now I come home from work every day and sit in my house by myself and watch TV until I fall asleep on the couch.
Back to the incident…
It scared me, sweetheart. I don’t like thinking about you being in the middle of something like that, and the thought of you getting hurt makes me crazy since I can’t be there to see for myself that you’re all right. I trust you to do your job, it isn’t that. I just…I worry. I need you to take care of yourself so you can come home and we can see where this thing between us goes. I haven’t spent nearly enough time with you.
Be safe.
XOXO, Brain
* * *
From: Aspen
To: Kane
Subject: Thinking
Kane,
This trip is making me really think about what I want to do with my life. Again, I love what I do, love the medical field, but I think I could probably be just as effective, and happier, if I did it some other way. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to work my butt off on this current job, but I’ve got some more thinking to do.
And you know what? I thought this trip would be good for me. To put some space between us because I was way too into you. I’ve never fallen for someone as fast as I have you. I thought the distance would be a good thing. But I realize that I feel the exact same way about you more than a month later as I did that evening when I said goodbye. I eagerly check my emails to see if you’ve written, and when you do, I read your email over and over, desperate to feel close to you. I guess the saying is correct, absence makes the heart grow fonder. At least on my part.
Of course, you could be reading this and cringing and thinking about the best way to ease off, to put some distance between us. More than we have right now. Lol.
On that note, I’m gonna sign off. We’re going on a long walk tomorrow, and I already know Derek’s gonna be an ass about it.
Miss you,
XOXO, Aspen
* * *
From: Brain
To: Aspen
Subject: Re: Thinking
I feel the same way about you, and I’m not cringing. Not in the least.
And…there might be less distance between us in the near future than either of us thought. The possibility of that trip my friends and I might be taking? It’s looking like it’s a reality.
See you soon.
Kane
* * *
From: Aspen
To: Kane
Subject: Trip
I haven’t heard from you in a few days. I hope that means you’ve left for your vacation.
~Aspen
Chapter Eight
Aspen woke up after a shitty night’s sleep. She was jittery and as excited as a six-year-old on Christmas morning.
Kane would be here today.
The missions she and the Ranger teams had been on over the last month hadn’t gone as planned. They hadn’t been able to find the man behind the most recent uprisings in the area, and the Army had called in a Delta Force unit to assist.
Derek was furious when he’d learned Kane was on the Delta team and would be arriving at the base soon. The last three days on patrol had been hell. Derek had pushed both his team and hers beyond what was safe in a bid to find the terrorist leader before the Deltas arrived. The two Ranger teams ran joint missions. And while Aspen generally felt there was more safety in numbers, especially when they patrolled the town outside the base’s gates, just this once she wished her team and Derek’s weren’t working so closely together. It seemed to her that Derek was looking at the hunt for the terrorist as a competition, when it was nothing of the sort.
But Aspen hadn’t said anything. Hadn’t reported Derek to their commanding officer. He hadn’t done anything illegal, had just walked a fine line between being reckless and determined. Instead, she suffered in silence alongside both platoons.
And finally, after all the emails over the last month in which she’d attempted to tell Kane what was going on without actually saying anything that would break security protocols, he was going to be there. She’d be able to see him, talk to him in person. Aspen knew nothing physical could happen between them, not while they were on deployment, but that was okay. It would be enough to simply see a familiar, friendly face.
Things between her and her own team had been better the last few days—danger tended to do that—but she still felt there was a wall between them that she simply couldn’t breach. She’d asked to be able to bunk with them in their tent, but the Army had said not under any circumstance. Men and women had to have separate quarters, period.
Because Derek, Sergeant Vandine, and their commanding officers were meeting with the Delta team as soon as they arrived to go over intel, the Rangers had a rare morning off. Aspen knew they were all planning on going to the chow tent to eat a hot breakfast, then back to their tent to play cards. She hadn’t been invited. A week ago, that probably would’ve devastated her. But nothing could faze her today because she was going to see Kane.
Feeling like a groupie or a desperate twelve-year-old waiting to see her favorite boy band, Aspen hung out near the landing pad where helicopters flying in from the nearby larger base arrived.
She’d had her hopes dashed twice already when the choppers that arrived weren’t carrying the Deltas. But the third time was the charm, and she watched with a huge smile as seven familiar faces climbed out of the huge machine. She itched to throw herself into Kane’s arms, but she controlled herself, barely.
The guys walked toward her, and Aspen was all ready to be professional and welcome them to the post with a handshake, but Trigger blew that out of the water when he dropped his rucksack and enveloped her in a huge hug.
Shocked and surprised, Aspen could only wrap her arms around him and hug back.
“Thank you for the wedding present,” he told her when he finally let go.
“Wedding present?” Aspen asked.
“Yeah. From you and Brain. I’ve already taken Gillian shooting twice; that Glock you guys got her is a huge hit.”
“Um…you’re welcome,” Aspen told him. She’d had no idea Kane had put both their names on a gift. It made her feel all tingly inside.
Then she was tugged into Lefty’s embrace, as he told her how happy he was to see her and to find she was all right.
She went through the same thing with the other guys on the team as well, each one giving her a huge hug. Lucky was the second-to-last man in line, and he whispered in her ear as he held her to him, “It’s so good to see you alive and well,” Lucky said. “And in case you’re wondering, we’re not just hugging you because you’re a friend…but also because we know Derek would do anything to make your life hell. He can’t claim you’re doing something inappropriate with Brain if we’re all joining in.”
They shared a grin when he pulled back, and Aspen wanted to cry. It made no sense how quickly these men had accepted her when her own team still held her at arm’s length. But she wasn’t going to think about it now. She was so thankful she’d get a chance to have Kane’s arms around her, she could barely process anything else.
Then she was standing in front of Kane. His hazel eyes twinkled, and it was all Aspen could do not to throw herself at him. “Hi,” she said shyly, thinking about everything she’d shared in her emails.
Without a word, Kane reached for her. It felt good to have hugs from his teammates, but having his arms around her, smelling his clean scent even after what had to be hours of traveling, had her melting into him.
“Fuck, this feels good,” he whispered.
Knowing they couldn’t do anything but share a quick hug, Aspen closed her eyes and did her best to memorize the moment. But of course the embrace ended way too so
on. Kane was the first to pull back, but he didn’t step away from her like the other guys did. He brought his hand up to her temple and brushed her hair away from her face, examining the bruise left when her head had hit a concrete wall the previous week.
“Does it still hurt?” he asked quietly.
Aspen shook her head. “I’ve got a dull headache, but it isn’t too bad anymore.”
He frowned, but said, “Good.”
“We got Gillian a Glock for a wedding present?” she asked, wanting to lighten the mood, and to try to prevent herself from planting her lips on his.
He grinned. “Yup. It’s dark purple, almost mauve. And it rocks, if I do say so myself.” Then he sobered. “How bad has Derek been?”
Aspen shrugged. “He’s frustrated we haven’t been able to find Mullah Abbas Akhund. I think he wants the glory that might come from killing him.”
“He’s an idiot,” Kane said with a shake of his head. “I mean, yeah, the man needs to die, but anyone who’s more concerned about personal fame and glory in our line of work has no business being in charge of anyone.”
“Agreed,” Aspen said. “And rumors are that Abdul Shahzada is really the man to be worried about, anyway.”
When Kane didn’t say anything, Aspen bit her lip. “I’m telling you shit you already know, aren’t I?”
“No, go on. I want to hear your thoughts on what’s going on over here,” Kane told her.
Looking around, Aspen saw that the rest of the team was listening intently to what she had to say as well.
“All right, well, Akhund is the face of the current uprising. He’s the one who has the rallies and who the villagers taken into custody claim is in charge. But there have been a few who insist Akhund isn’t really in control. They’ve mentioned Shahzada’s name, but no one knows where he is or what alias he’s using.”
Kane nodded, letting Aspen know for sure she wasn’t telling him or his team anything they didn’t already know.
“We’re gonna find Akhund,” Doc said from her right.
“And he’ll tell us everything we need to know about this Shahzada guy,” Lucky added.
“We need to get going,” Trigger said. “The post commander is waiting for us.”
“Give me a second,” Kane told his team, and they all nodded as they backed away.
Aspen looked at Kane and licked her lips nervously. She was so happy to see him, and it seemed as if he was glad to see her too, but when he didn’t say anything for a long moment, simply stared down at her with a heavy look in his eyes…she had the crazy thought that maybe he was going to say he didn’t think things would work out between them after all. Or maybe that they were moving too fast and needed to slow things down.
“Stop worrying,” Kane said with amazing insight.
“I just…I’m so happy to see you.”
“Me too. I’ve missed you so damn much, you just don’t know.”
“Actually, I think I do know,” she replied with a small smile.
“Even though I can’t touch or kiss you like I want to, simply standing here and seeing for myself that you’re all right makes me feel better than I have in more than a month. I was really worried when I found out about you hitting your head.”
It was a beautiful thing to say, and Aspen swallowed hard, doing her best to hold back her happy tears. “I’m okay. I promise.”
She saw his gaze settle on the bruise on her head before once again meeting her own. “I’ll be in meetings for a while, but do you want to eat lunch with me and the guys afterward?”
“Yes,” Aspen told him without hesitation. She usually tried to eat with her Ranger team, but that was more about making sure she arrived at the chow tent at the same time, rather than the team actually asking her to join them.
“Good. We’ll probably head out on patrol not too long after that, to get the lay of the land, but I want to spend every second I can with you in the meantime. Even if we’re not doing anything but eating next to each other.”
She didn’t want to think about him or his friends heading outside the post to hunt down Mullah Abbas Akhund, as she knew firsthand how hostile the villagers were, but she had no control over what his superior officers had planned for the team, so she had to let it go. He was good at what he did, and he had a hell of a team of men at his back. “Same,” she told him with as much feeling as she could muster.
“What are you going to do this morning?” he asked.
Aspen was well aware that he didn’t have time for idle chit-chat, and yet here he was, doing just that. “My team is hanging out in their tent, so I’ll probably just go back to my own. Maybe take a nap.”
Kane frowned. “They didn’t invite you to hang with them?”
Aspen shrugged.
“Assholes,” he muttered.
“They really aren’t,” Aspen said. “Except for Derek, but thankfully he’s not in my platoon. They just don’t know how to treat me.”
“They should treat you as a valuable part of their team,” Kane groused.
“It’s okay,” she told him.
“Brain, we need to jet,” Trigger called.
“I’ll see you at the chow hall around lunch,” she told him.
“Yes, you will,” Kane said. “I missed you, kochanie.”
Aspen tilted her head in question.
“Polish,” he told her.
“God, I missed that,” Aspen said.
Kane reached out and touched the back of his fingers to her cheek for a brief second, then leaned down and picked up his rucksack. “Later,” he said quietly.
“Later,” Aspen echoed, watching as the man she suddenly didn’t think she could live without caught up with his friends and walked toward the post commander’s tent on the small American base in the desert.
Brain could hardly concentrate on the meeting. He knew he should be taking notes and paying attention to what the post commander was saying, but all he could do was glare at Sergeant Derek Spence in anger. The man was conceited and cared nothing about the soldiers under his command. He was so concerned about “winning,” i.e., getting to Akhund first, he couldn’t see his own flaws.
And he had many.
It didn’t help that the man obviously recognized him, and was throwing glares his way as well. The last thing he wanted was to get into a pissing match with the other soldier, but the way he treated not only Aspen, but everyone else, was going to get the jerk into trouble sooner or later. And unfortunately, anyone around him was going to pay for his mistakes.
When Derek and Sergeant Vandine finished telling the Deltas what they’d done over the last month to search for the Taliban leader, everyone began brainstorming their next steps.
There was concern about the mysterious Abdul Shahzada, but their target for this mission was Akhund. If they could kill him, it would take some time for the Taliban to regroup and appoint someone new to the area. If Shahzada was chosen, he’d have to show his face eventually, and the Army would be able to get more intel about him.
By the time the meeting came to an end, it was twelve-thirty and Brain wanted nothing more than to see Aspen again. He wondered how she’d spent her morning and hoped she’d been able to get a nap in like she’d planned.
He was walking out of the tent when Sergeant Spence caught up to him. He grabbed him by the arm and spun him around, catching Brain off guard.
“If you think you’re going to come here and fuck Aspen, I’ll turn you in so fast your head will spin,” Derek growled.
Brain turned on the other man so quickly, he didn’t have time to defend himself. He shoved him hard with a hand in the middle of his chest, and Derek bounced off the sturdy canvas of the tent behind him. “First, don’t fucking touch me,” Brain growled, sensing his team closing ranks behind him. He vaguely noticed there wasn’t anyone there to back up dumb-ass Derek. “Second, if you think I’d do anything to hurt Aspen’s career, you’re an even bigger asshole than I thought—which is saying something, because I already
thought you were a pretty big douchebag.”
“Fuck you,” Derek muttered.
“Unlike you, I can keep my personal feelings about someone separate from my professional ones. You need to get over the fact that she dumped your ass and move on. Mesmer is a fucking great medic, and you’re supposed to be working with her, not against her, and the rest of your team.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Derek hissed. “I don’t see you and your team lugging around extra female baggage. She holds us back, and we would’ve caught Akhund by now if we didn’t have to constantly make concessions for her.”
“What concessions?” Brain demanded.
“She slows us down,” Derek told him, instead of offering concrete examples.
“Let me guess,” Grover drawled, “you’re upset you can’t whip out your dick and piss wherever you want because there’s a woman in your group.”
Derek shrugged. “That’s just one of a hundred ways we have to accommodate her. We should be worried about finding and killing a fucking terrorist. Instead, she’s always on my case, wanting to coddle the teams. She whines about being dehydrated and about pushing everyone too hard. It’s ridiculous that the Army allows chicks into the Rangers as it is, and to force us to drag one along with us as our medic is an insult!”
“You won’t think it’s an insult when shit hits the fan,” Lefty sneered. “I bet you’ll be the loudest one crying for her help over a fucking splinter in your little finger.”
Derek’s lip curled. “You guys think you’re so fucking invincible. News flash—you aren’t. You’re no better than me. And you have to follow the same rules I do.” He glared at Brain. “If I see you so much as touching Mesmer in a way inappropriate for a forward-deployed unit, I’ll report you both. We’ll see how invincible you are in front of a court-martial. Although,” he mused with an evil glint in his eye, “on second thought, go ahead. Kiss the bitch the way you did in that bar. It’ll give me a good reason to get her ass kicked off her team so we can get a real medic in her place.”