Love Undecided

by Denise Wells

  “Why are you whispering?” he asks, now at a normal volume.

  “I don’t know,” I say, still whispering. “Why were you whispering?”

  “Because I’m at the station, and some of the guys are sleeping, I didn’t want to wake them up,” he says.

  “Why are you at the station? Shouldn’t you be off tonight?” I cringe as soon as I say that realizing he’s now going to know that I still remember his schedule.

  “Ethan and I are covering for the Nelson brothers - they went to a family reunion or something.”

  “Oh, that’s nice of you.”

  “Why are you still whispering?” he asks.

  “Sorry. I didn’t realize I was still doing it. I guess because it’s so late at night and the streets are empty. It feels weird to speak in a normal voice,” I say at a normal volume.

  He laughs, so I do too. I forgot how much I love the sound of his laugh.

  “So, did you have someone doing work on your balcony today?” he asks, getting right to the point.

  “No, there should not have been anyone there.” My heart starts to race, and my breath gets shallow.

  Ok, so I guess I’m gonna freak the fuck out over talking to Brad AND the fact that someone was on my balcony!

  “An overnight guest overstaying his welcome maybe?” he asks tentatively.

  “No,” I say sighing. “No overnight guests.”

  He lets out a breath I doubt he realized he was holding. He seems happy with that answer, but then again, I knew he would be.

  “Are you home now, does everything seem okay? Did you have your alarm set?”

  “Um, no I’m not home yet, but yes, I did have my alarm set. Should I be worried?”

  “I don’t know. I’m going to stay on the phone with you until you get there to make sure everything is okay,” he says.

  “You don’t have to do that, Brad.”

  “I know I don’t,” he says.

  The conversation seems to stall, so I ask him, “How was the run on the beach?”

  “It was spectacular, as always.”

  “Mmmm, I’m jealous.”

  “You’ll get back there, baby. Just be patient,” he tells me.

  My vagina butterflies are all atwitter, they love it when he calls me baby.

  “I know.” I hate the melancholy tone that gets in my voice and the longing that I feel.

  So I ask a little too loudly, “How’s Stacy?”

  And with that, all the warmth is sucked from our conversation.

  “Fine,” he says.

  “Great,” I say with absolutely no sincerity at all whatsoever, hating that I even brought it up. Then, because I now feel like a total bitch, I also ask, “How is your shift going?”

  “It’s been slow today. Two car accidents and one burst pipe. No major injuries, luckily. Hoping the second twenty-four hours will go as smoothly. “

  “I still find it to be so ridiculous that you guys get called out for home floods.”

  “It’s because of the water intrusion meeting electricity.”

  “I know, I remember. I still think it’s dumb.”

  He laughs.

  I sink into that laugh and let it envelop me.

  “I’m pulling into my garage now,” I tell him.

  “Okay, I’m going to stay on the phone with you just to make sure everything is okay. I’m sorry I can’t be there to check it out personally.”

  Instead of telling him that it’s no longer his job to do that, I just let it be.

  He continues, “Do you still carry your Glock? Do you have it on you?”

  “Yes, but what exactly do you think I’m walking into here? Aren’t you overreacting just a little bit?” I ask.

  “You can’t be too careful, Kat. Just, please pull it out.”

  “Fine.” I get it from my purse. I have to stifle a giggle when Brad says, ‘pull it out.’

  Focus, Kat!

  I am at the ready as I open the door leading from my garage into my little house. The alarm is still armed, so I disarm it, and turn on the kitchen light; nothing seems amiss.

  I report all of this back to Brad, then check the remainder of my house while he’s on the phone with me. Everything looks to be as it should be, which is what I tell Brad.

  “Will you just look on the balcony too?” he asks.

  “Sure thing, boss-man.”

  But everything on the balcony looks normal, except for a plant that’s fallen off the railing. It happens often.

  “Everything is good; one of my plants blew over again, but that’s it.”

  “Don’t touch it!”

  “I know! I’m not! Wait, why?”

  He sighs. “Kat, someone was on your balcony today, I didn’t call the precinct because I wasn’t sure if they were a guest. But, they could still be out there. I’m contacting the precinct and sending someone over to check it out.”

  “If someone was on my balcony, I would see them. I’m out here now. No one is in the house or on the balcony,” I say with a confidence that I don’t feel. I can’t be vulnerable with Brad, not now, and especially not tonight.

  “Kat, I wouldn’t have called you if I didn’t think it was important.”

  “And here I just thought it was a ploy because you missed the sound of my voice.”

  Now, why did I say that? I know better than to flirt with Brad. I clear my throat and continue before he has a chance to respond.

  “Don’t call the precinct. I’ve got Detective Sherman’s cell number, I’ll give him a call and let him know. Does that work?”

  “Yes,” Brad says. “Call him now please and then call me back to let me know what happens.”

  I wake Detective Sherman with my call, he seems to do about as well when first waking up as I do, which isn’t saying much.

  “Sherman,” he near croaks into the phone.

  “Detective Sherman, it’s Kat Walker. I’m sorry to call so late, but I may have had an intruder on my balcony earlier today and I’d like to have someone come check it out.”

  “Mmm. Now?” He still sounds asleep. I thought detectives were supposed to wake right up when the phone rang. Like they were trained for it or something.

  “Yes, right now,” I say, suddenly realizing I won’t be able to sleep unless someone aside from me checks everything out.

  Before I know it, I’ve got three police cars in my driveway, with lights flashing and sirens silent. They ask me to stand outside with one of the officers while the others enter the house, knocking first on the door and then loudly announcing their presence.

  “There’s no one—” I start to tell the officer as my phone rings.

  It’s Bauer. “Cookie, I’m—” he says.

  My call waiting beeps, I pull the phone away from my ear to look at the screen. Brad is calling.

  “Bauer, can I call you back?” I interrupt.

  Before I even hear his answer, Brad and Ethan screech into my driveway in the rescue truck. I hang up the phone.

  Brad is out of the truck before it’s even stopped. “Kat? Kat? My God, are you okay?”

  He pulls me into his arms and holds me tight. A shiver runs through me. He feels so good.

  “I am so glad you are okay. God, baby, if anything happened to you, I would never forgive myself. I should have been here. I’m so sorry.”

  His words make me feel good. Too good. I need to distance myself.

  “I’m right here, I told you on the phone that everything was okay,” I say.

  “Dispatch said there was an intruder on your balcony.”

  “You know there’s no intruder, I already told you that.”

  “Ma’am, did you say there’s no intruder? Did you call in a false report?” the officer asks. He pulls out his walkie-talkie to tell the others in the house that there’s no intruder, it was a false report.

  “I didn’t call in a false report. I just asked Detective Sherman to send someone out to check for fingerprints or something. Brad, I mean Lieutenant
Matthews, thought he saw someone on my balcony earlier.”

  “Were you here earlier?” The officer turns to Brad as he asks this.

  “No, I saw someone from the beach. My unit runs together in the afternoons. I ran up when I saw him, but he was gone by the time I got here.”

  “You’re sure it was a man?” the officer asks.

  “I’m sure.”

  The other officers walk out of the house.

  “You called in a false report?” one of them asks me.

  “No! This is all just a misunderstanding. I’m sorry! I just wanted someone to check for prints or something. Someone was here earlier, Brad saw them,” I tell him and the other officers at the same time. Brad looks like he wants to hug me, but holds back, then turns to go inside and inspect the house.

  Ethan steps closer to me. “Stirring up trouble again, Kat?” he asks with a slight smile.

  I sigh. “This must have gotten mixed up somehow between me telling Sherman and him telling dispatch. You guys didn’t have to come all the way over here. Brad knew no one was here.”

  “We were dispatched, Kat, whether your report got mixed up or not, when we’re dispatched, we have to respond. No way was Brad not going to respond. Especially after he saw someone on your balcony today,” Ethan says.

  “Did you see them too?” I ask Ethan.

  “No, but I’m not exactly interested in looking at your balcony when I’m running on the beach and it’s still bikini weather. Ya know what I mean?” he asks with a wink.

  I attempt to wink back. “Got it.” My winks are not very appealing. Luckily Ethan knows me and knows better than to ask if I have something in my eye or if I’m about to cry.

  Brad comes back outside. “When did you get security cameras on the balcony?” he asks.

  “I don’t have security cameras on the balcony,” I say.

  “Well, there’s a small camera up in the eaves over the balcony.”

  “What do you mean there’s a camera in the eaves? Like a camera camera? Like one that takes pictures and records me when I’m out there?”

  “Yes, a camera camera. A small video camera.”

  “Let me see.”

  He leads me through the house out to the balcony and shows me where the camera is; I’m amazed he saw it. And tell him so.

  “I only noticed it because I was looking to see if the doves had returned this year and put a nest up there,” he says. “Otherwise, it’s not even visible. Fuck. You didn’t know it was there. I need to tell the guys outside.”

  I smile at the thought of Brad remembering the bird’s nest. For such an alpha-male-hard-ass firefighter, he’s a total softie. What I’m assuming are the same pair of doves, have returned for the past three years and built nests in the same spot under my roof.

  He put his hand on the small of my back and we walk back into the house; Ethan is heading for us with two of the police officers and Bauer bringing up the rear.

  “Cookie, you good?” Bauer comes over to me and grabs my upper arms, looking me up and down.

  I look at Brad, he raises his eyebrow at me. I’m sure over Bauer’s touch and use of “Cookie” when addressing me.

  “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. There’s a camera on my balcony though, and I didn’t put it there.”

  Bauer heads out toward the balcony.

  “Who’s that guy?” Brad asks.

  “That’s Chance Bauer, he’s a detective. I’m working with him on the Shower Stealer case.”

  “Yeah, I get that. Who is he to you?”

  “No one, we work together, that’s it.”

  Brad scoffs. “He calls you ‘Cookie’?”

  “I’ve asked him not to.”

  “How’s that working, Kat?”

  Bauer comes back in the room, and I feel Brad tense beside me.

  I turn to introduce them, but Bauer beats me to it.

  “Chance Bauer, Detective, SSPD, Downtown Precinct,” he says, holding out his hand.

  Brad takes Bauer’s hand and shakes it.

  “Brad Matthews, Lieutenant, SSFD, Station 76.”

  Even from where I’m standing I can tell both men are taking their shaking duties very seriously.

  Ethan laughs behind a cough, muttering something close to “down boy,” then steps forward and offers a hand to Bauer.

  “Ethan Stewart, SSFD, Station 76.”

  Bauer drops Brad’s hand, somewhat reluctantly, and moves in to shake Ethan’s.

  Their shake is brief and clearly not as intense. I look back and forth between Brad and Bauer, who are just glaring at each other, engaging in some sort of non-verbal testosterone driven communication.

  “So, hey,” I say, hoping to break the tension, “did y’all see the camera? Should I start freaking out now? Good thing I haven’t done naked hot tub in a while, huh?”

  All five men turn to look at me. Well, I guess that got their attention.

  One of the uniformed officers clears his throat. “Ma’am, since it was a false report, we are going to excuse ourselves. Have a nice night and stay safe.” He tips his hat to us and leaves.

  “It wasn’t a… oh never mind. Thank you, officers,” I say.

  That leaves the four of us.

  Oh goodie.

  “So, now what?” I ask as I swing my arms back and forth making my hands clap in front of me and behind me. It’s not as easy as it sounds, believe me, but it is a great stress reliever, loosens up the shoulder blades and releases tension.

  From the looks of it, Brad and Bauer should be doing it too.

  “I’m going to dust for prints,” Bauer says. “But I’m guessing there won’t be any. That camera was pretty well hidden. It wasn’t a sloppy installation. How did you know to look there by the way?” He turns to Brad with his last question.

  “There is usually a bird’s nest in that spot, I was looking for that.”

  Bauer just stares at him.

  “He used to live here,” I say.

  “Oh, you lived here before Cookie?” Bauer asks.

  I roll my eyes. He’s got to know this is Brad the sexy ex, and that he’s causing trouble with that question.

  “I lived here with Kat,” Brad says.

  Bauer makes a pseudo-sympathetic clicking noise with his mouth and moves to pat Brad on the shoulder as he walks by.

  “Not anymore, bud.”

  Shit. Fuck. Piss.

  I see Brad lunge toward Bauer, but Ethan grabs him by the arm before he has a chance to reach him.

  “Dude,” he warns Brad in a low voice. “Not worth it, three strikes you’re out, man.”

  Brad rubs his hand over his face, turns to give me a hard stare, then walks out of the room. I turn to look at Ethan, he gives me a none too friendly look as well.

  “Glottal!” I say. Ethan looks at me with a raised eyebrow in question to my sudden outburst. “That’s the noise that Bauer made just now. It’s called glottal, it was a GRE word. I took the GRE before I took the LSAT. I like standardized testing… “

  My voice trails off when I see the slightly disgusted look on Ethan’s face. I don’t think he cares about my tangential recall skills. But the English teacher for that thirteen-year-old girl inside me is beaming with pride.

  Brad comes back in the room. “We gotta go,” he tells Ethan. “Chief wants us back. There’s no medical or rescue reason to be here.”

  He turns to me. “Keep me posted on the camera. You okay with him still being here?” He motions toward the balcony where Bauer is still dusting for prints and examining the camera.

  “With Bauer?” I laugh. “Totally, he’s harmless.”

  Brad nods in response and leaves without saying goodbye.

  I turn to Ethan as he starts to follow. “He okay?” I ask.

  He pauses at the door. “Really, Kat?” He looks at me with a furrowed brow, shakes his head, and then follows Brad out the front door.

  Bauer comes back in. “The thing was wiped clean, no prints, nothing on it. As far as I can tell, it’
s activated remotely or maybe motion sensor, battery operated, and totally wireless. There’s no audio capabilities, so they can’t hear you. I don’t think it’s transmitting right now, but that would make sense given the time of night.”

  “Who would put a camera on my balcony?”

  “Pissed off client? Stalker? Ex-boyfriend?”

  “No. No. No.”

  “Well they’ve got it positioned to span across the entire balcony, thereby across the entire back of the house, living room, office, and bedroom since you’ve got more windows than the fucking Chrysler Building.”

  “I like natural light.”

  “Given that the ex claims to have seen someone on your balcony today, I’m going to guess that either it was installed today, or they adjusted it somehow today.”

  “I’m kinda creeped out by this.”

  “You should be.”

  “Well, did you disconnect it?”

  “No. If we disconnect it we won’t be able to catch who it is. We need to leave it running, be careful with what you do on your balcony and anywhere within view of your windows. We stand a better chance of intercepting the signal and catching this guy if he doesn’t know we’re on to him.”

  “So it’s like I’m a stool pigeon. Stalker bait. Creeper catcher. Scoundrel snare,” I say, oddly excited about this.

  Bauer laughs. “Exactly. But I’m serious about you needing to be extremely careful. I’m sure Sherman can schedule drive-bys throughout the day, which would be the front of the house so it wouldn’t be caught on camera. Wait, did anyone check the front of the house? Or inside?”

  “I have a security system for the inside and it hadn’t been breached, so I think we are good there. I believe Brad checked the front; he knows this house better than anyone.”

  “Well, can you check with him?”

  “On it.”

  I grab my phone and step into the other room to call Brad. I’m not too excited about calling him when I know he’s mad at me, but even I realize it’s important to know if he checked the front.

  He answers after the second ring. “Matthews.” His tone is short and clipped.

  “Hey, it’s me. Kat. Do you have a second for a quick question?”

  “I knew it was you… what’s up?” he asks.