Love Undecided

by Denise Wells

  “I’m glad you find this so funny,” I grumble.

  “Oh, come on, everyone would find this funny!” he says, still laughing.

  I can’t help it, I start to laugh too. Granted I’m not finding it quite as funny as he is…

  Once I catch my breath, I start to unbutton his shirt the old fashion way, undoing one button at a time. This may be a laughable situation, but I still have a goal of feeling his bare chest against mine. I get his shirt open, buttons intact, and push up the white tee underneath it. I’m breathless for an entirely different reason as I run my hands up his abs to his pecs.

  “God, you’re perfect,” I breathe, leaning in to take his nipple into my mouth. He sucks in a breath as I bite lightly. Then pulls my head up for a brutal kiss that leaves me dizzy. I’m swaying, literally, when he ends the kiss. I love the feeling of chest against chest and rub against him.

  “Be still,” he growls. Then he spins me around so my front is pressed to the building.

  “Hands against the wall.”

  I smile, leaning forward slightly so my forehead rests against my fingers on the wall. He pulls my hips out, bending me farther at the waist, grinding his cock against my ass. One hand pulls my hair aside giving him access to bite and lick that spot on my neck. God, he so knows me. I moan his name. His hand stays, wrapped loosely around my neck, holding me in place.

  “Fuck, Kat, you fucking wreck me!” He breaths into my ear, his breath hot against the side of my neck. He moves his hand from my neck down the front of my body, sliding over my breasts and stomach, pausing at my hips to pull my ass tighter against him. His teeth graze my neck as he sucks and bites and kisses. One hand stays on my hip and his other hand snakes down my pants, pushing its way between my legs. I cry out as he plunges a finger inside me.

  “So tight, so sweet,” he groans, inserting a second and then third finger.

  I feel so full, so complete. “Oh my God… Brad… I can’t…“

  I can’t breath, I can’t think, I feel dizzy.

  “I got you, baby,” he says. His fingers fucking me relentlessly until I come again, crying out his name. My head thrown back against his shoulder as everything explodes behind my eyes. All the while Brad is grinding against my ass and whispering how hard he is going to fuck me and how I am going to love every minute of it.

  So fucking hot!

  Before I know it my pants are down around my ankles and his are around his thighs, he spreads my legs as far as they’ll go. One hand reaches around to grab my breasts, the other one stays at my clit, the tip of his cock teasing me as he aligns it with my core.

  “Please,” I beg.

  I gasp as he suddenly slams into me from behind, filling me completely.

  “Oh Brad!” I scream, the feeling of him is so amazing.

  So much better than I remember, how could I think I could ever live without this? He pulls out completely then pushes into me again, moving in and out slowly. I try to shift back toward him, “more… ” I moan. “Please.”

  “More what, firecracker? More of this?” And with that he pushes into me again, both hands grip my hips and hold me in place as he drives into me. “Is that what you want?” he asks, grunting.

  I nod, barely able to speak, I’m so close to coming again all I can do is cry out with every thrust. He’s made me so hot, it was like I have no choice but to just keep coming. Everything he does, the possessiveness in his touch, the commanding way he speaks, the ferocity with which he fucks me, the confidence in his moves.

  “Brad,” I breathe. But he isn’t done.

  He pulls out of me completely and then drives back in to me again and again. Fingers digging into my hips as he holds me in place, everything is so punishing and so rewarding.

  “Holy fuck, I’m going to come again. Ohmigod… Brad…”

  “Come for me baby, one more time, I’m so close,” he growls.

  So I do.

  This one more explosive than any I’ve ever had before. It depletes me. I’m so exhausted I can barely move the back of my head from his shoulder, my hands barely keeping me from slamming into the wall with each of his thrusts.

  Thrusts are so hard and so deep, my body is literally lifting with each one. A satisfied moan escapes my lips. God this is so good.

  And with one final thrust, he comes, growling into my neck. One hand at my neck pulling my head back against him, the other across my hips pulling them tight against him. I know even with both our arms protecting me, that I’ve been scraped, maybe even cut, when facing the wall and I fucking get off on it. I love it hard, I love it rough. And I love even more that it was Brad that gave it to me.

  I climax so hard and so much that I can feel it seeping down my legs even though he is still inside me. As he comes down, he releases me gently and I gradually settle back on my feet. He pulls out slowly and I miss him immediately.

  He pulls his pants up and situates his dick, then pulls off his shirt and his t-shirt, and uses the t-shirt to clean me. Softly wiping at the insides of my thighs, erasing any trace that he was there. I miss it when it’s gone. He turns me gently around, pulls my pants up, and adjusts my bra and shirt. He looks me up and down slowly, then takes my face in his hands and kisses me. His touch is soft and delicate and couldn’t be more opposite of what we’d just done.

  “Baby, did I hurt you?” His eyes dance back and forth over my face and he caresses my cheeks.

  I smile. “No. Not at all. That was incredible.”

  He smiles big. “It was, wasn’t it?”

  I raise up to kiss him. “So incredible.” I breathe into his mouth, our lips barely touching. My tongue sneaks out and runs over his bottom lip. His hands cup my ass and he pulls me against him. “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker,” he groans.

  I start laughing, I couldn’t have heard him right because it sounded like he was quoting John McClane. “What did you say?”

  “Nothing. Just thinking about something from earlier today,” he says.

  “Were you watching Die Hard again?” I ask.

  “No, it was a conversation that Ethan and I had,” he said.

  I stretch my body against his, loving how we feel together. “I’m not sure if I should be happy that you think about Ethan and the conversations the two of you have had when you’re fucking me.”

  He pulls at my hips and I feel that he’s already hard again. “Does that feel like I’m thinking about Ethan?”

  “I don’t know,” I say. “Maybe the two of you have grown closer in the last year. Maybe I need to show you what you’d be missing.” I rub against him and feel myself getting wet again.

  “Don’t get me started again, at least not here.” He grins.

  “Or what?” I ask, wiggling against him. He smacks my ass, hard. I reach up to caress his cheek. “How did I ever think I could let you go?” I ask him softly, my eyes searching his. I see the love in his eyes as he leans in to kiss me again.

  “It wasn’t my idea,” he says.

  “No,” I say. “I guess it wasn’t. I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid.”

  “I’m glad I was able to fuck some sense into you,” he says smiling. “But no more talking about the past. Right now, I’m going to take you home and I’m going to worship every inch of this luscious body.”

  “Oh yeah?” I ask.

  “Oh yeah,” he says.

  Then he leans down to whisper in my ear, “I’m going to make you come with my fingers, then I’m going to lick you clean. Then you’re going to come again from my mouth.”

  I shiver against him as he describes what he’s going to do, his breath hot against my cheek.

  “Then you’re going to ride me so hard that you come all over my cock,” he continues.

  “Uh huh,” I pant.

  “Then you are going to hang on to my headboard while I fuck you from behind until you come again.”

  “Ok,” I whisper.

  “Then, and only then, will I let you rest up for round two.”

 
; I turn my head and kiss him hard. My panties are drenched.

  He pulls back from me. “Lets go before I lose control and fuck you against this wall again.” He grabs my hand and pulls me toward the parking lot across the street.

  “Wait,” I say. “I need to get my purse, Remi has all my stuff.”

  “It’s all been taken care of,” he says. “She’s going to put it in your house and lock up after.”

  It dawns on me. “Oh my God, you’re who she was texting!”

  He has the courtesy to look embarrassed. “Guilty. But it was me who approached her, so don’t be angry with her.”

  “I won’t. I’m not,” I say. “Especially not when I’m riding high on the bliss that is post multiple orgasms.”

  He laughs. “If you’re a good girl, I’ll even finger you on the way home.” He pulls me toward him and kisses the top of my head.

  I look up at him, smiling, “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!”

  Chapter 45

  Kat

  I wake really early, unaccustomed to having someone else in my bed with me, despite Brad having been there all night. I peek over at him to see if he’s still asleep. His eyes are shut, his chest rises and falls slowly with each breath.

  My phone buzzes from the nightstand, I roll over and see that it’s Bauer calling and wonder what he wants.

  “Missed me already, huh?” I speak quietly and slip out of bed so I don’t wake Brad.

  “Can you force a feeling?” he asks without preamble.

  “Not really, no.”

  “Can you try?”

  “I don’t know that I would know how,” I tell him.

  Brad comes up behind me and puts his hands on my upper arms. “Everything okay?” he whispers into my free ear.

  “Cookie, is that a man I hear? Are you cheating on me already?”

  I turn and nod to Brad that everything is okay, into the phone I say, “It’s just Brad.”

  To which Brad raises his eyebrows at me questioningly and Bauer says, “Just Brad, huh?”

  Brad grabs the phone from me. “She’ll call you back,” he growls into it and tosses it on the bed. “Just Brad, huh?”

  “Funny, that’s what Bauer said,” I whisper.

  I’m backing up as Brad advances. My room isn’t that big and soon I’m backed into my reading chair. The seat of the chair hits the backs of my knees and I fall into the seat with a huff. Brad kneels in front of me, his hands on my knees, he leans in toward my face, a steely gaze in his eyes.

  “Let’s get one thing straight, my little firecracker, I am not, nor will I ever be, just Brad.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “No?” he asks as he slides his hands up my thighs, getting closer and closer to my core. He rubs his cheek on my inner thigh, his breath hot against my skin. He pulls me down to the edge of the seat and throws one of my legs over the arm of the chair and the other over his shoulder.

  “How did you mean it?”

  He runs his tongue down one thigh and up the other. My head is reeling. I grab his hair and try to force his mouth to where I want it.

  “Not until you answer my question,” he says, grabbing my hands with one of his and pinning them against my chest, forcing me to lie against the back of the chair. I can’t focus. My breaths are coming in pants.

  “What, uh, what was the question?”

  “How did you mean it?” he asks with a quick flick of his tongue to my clit.

  I squirm in my seat. “Oh God! That feels so good! Brad, please!”

  He blows gently on my clit, the cool air makes me quiver, then, with another flick of his tongue, asks again, “How did you mean it, Kat?”

  I struggle to remember what he’s asking me. It comes to me that I said ‘just Brad’ to Bauer. “There is no just,” I tell him breathily, “there’s only you.”

  “That’s right, baby, there is only me. And no one else.” He runs the scruff of his cheek up and down my inner thigh, slowing each time he reaches my clit.

  “I’m so close,” I whimper, and with that he thrusts his tongue inside of me. Driving me crazy with sure and determined strokes until I am over the edge.

  “Oh fuck. Oh God! Holy Shit! Brad! Only you! Always you!” I tell him, my body pulsing as my orgasm rips through me sending wave after wave of pleasure. I slump in the chair feeling weak and barely coherent, my limbs are like wet noodles.

  He stands and takes me with him, then turns to sit in the chair and pulls me down on his cock in one fluid motion. My back to his front.

  “Spread your legs for me baby,” he says, pulling at my knees and swinging my legs over the chair arms on each side.

  “Oh yes,” I moan as I sink down on him completely. He pauses so I can adjust to his size, then starts moving his hips, hitting places I didn’t even know I had. I close my eyes and revel at the feeling of his thickness inside of me He grabs me by my waist and begins bouncing me on his cock. My breasts flap, almost painfully, but I don’t care.

  “Touch yourself,” he pants into my ear. I reach down and begin to rub my clit, pushing it down against his cock. I use my middle finger on myself and apply pressure to the sides of his cock with my fore and ring fingers.

  “Fuck, that feels good,” he moans. “Ride me, baby.”

  My head lolls back against his shoulder, he bites at my exposed neck, I thrust my hips back toward him, changing the angle slightly.

  “Oh, fuck yeah,” I whisper.

  “I gotta make you come again baby, I’m so close.” He reaches one hand down to meet mine at my clit, his fingers moving fast as he works me over. I feel another orgasm begin to build; his other hand reaches around and pinches my nipple and I break apart. Brad is thrusting harder and faster and before I realize what is happening, I soar into my third orgasm. I throw my head back and cry out at the same time that he thrusts up and growls through his own release.

  Moments later, he gathers me in his arms, I turn slightly bringing my knees up and lay my head on his chest.

  “I can’t move,” I tell him.

  He chuckles and kisses the top of my head, murmuring endearments. And I feel completely fulfilled. Not just sexually, but in every way possible. I marvel again at how I ever could have thought I could be without him. He is that extra push that I need when I feel like I can’t go any further.

  Sigh.

  “I can’t let you go,” I murmur into his chest.

  “What’s that, baby?” he asks.

  I sit up and face him. “I can’t let you go. It’s horrible and selfish and wrong, but I can’t do it.”

  “I don’t want you to let me go. Why is it so wrong? We love each other, we should be together. We are meant to be together. You are it for me, Kat. There is no one else.”

  “I’m going to die. And you will be alone. And the thought of you being alone kills me.” My voice breaks. I’m going to cry I can feel it.

  “So what I’m hearing is, either way, you’re dying. We stay together, you die and I’m alone. Which kills you, except you’re already dead. We don’t stay together, I’m alone, which kills you. Either way, you die, so we may as well be together in the meantime.”

  “That is some fucked up logic,” I tell him.

  “But you can’t argue it, can you?”

  Before I can answer, my phone begins to ring, I get up to answer it and see that it’s Bauer again. He starts talking before I can even say hello.

  “Cookie, if you are finished playing doctor with Romeo, we’ve got real shit going on here at the station and I could use your help.”

  “I wasn’t playing—” I start, but he continues before I can get a word in.

  “We’re dealing with a serial, here. Sherman’s bringing in a profiler - he’ll be here in about an hour. Don’t be late.” He hangs up before I can agree or ask questions.

  I look at Brad. “I’m going to grab a quick shower and head to the precinct, I guess,” I say.

  I get in the shower, welcoming the warm spray over
my sex-sore body. I am half hoping Brad will join me. But if he does, I’m afraid I won’t be going anywhere in the next thirty minutes. He steps into the shower moments later, but with two mugs of hot coffee, and my seventeen pills.

  “You’re my hero!” I tell him and take a big drink, then down my pills. He added the perfect amount of cream and sugar. I sigh, feeling totally content. He just smiles and sits back on the shower bench, drinking his coffee and watching me.

  “I think you’re making me nervous just watching me that way,” I tell him.

  “You think that I’m making you nervous? Aren’t you sure?”

  “Right. And, I’m pretty sure anyway. I can’t concentrate when you’re staring at me.”

  “I like staring at you. And you’re going to need to get used to it because I’m going to be staring at you every chance I get for years and years to come,” he says. “Besides, what do you need to concentrate on?”

  “I have to wash my hair and my body and stuff.”

  “I’ll wash your hair and body and stuff,” he says, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

  “No funny business. I’m pretty sure my vagina is broken, and I’m going to be bowlegged for weeks.”

  He stands, sets his coffee down, and moves toward me, a wicked smile on his face. “No funny business, I promise.”

  Forty minutes later, having engaged in just enough funny business with Brad to put a smile on my face and a spring in my step, I am dressed and out the door.

  I matched my outfit to my sunny new mood: blue/orange/red floral maxi skirt, white tank top, and jean jacket. I left my hair down to let it dry wavy, and paired my outfit with chunky jewelry, jeweled Egyptian style flat sandals, and my super cute straw Kate Spade purse that I bought last week through a 70% off Facebook sale.

  Chapter 46

  Kat

  Due to the insanely early hour of the morning, there is not a lot of traffic on the road, I put the top down on my car and blare “Good Day” by Nappy Roots, happily singing along.

  “‘Cause ain’t nobody gonna die today. You can save that trouble for another day.”

  It’s my favorite song since getting cancer.

  I get to the precinct in just under ten minutes, leaving me ten minutes to spare from when Bauer wanted me there.