Just a Little Crush (Crush #1)

by Renita Pizzitola

  “So fucking hot.” His hands glided down my thighs and hooked behind my knees as he pulled my legs from under me.

  I fell from my kneeling position onto my butt as he repositioned me on the very edge of his bed. With his fingers looped around each side of my panties, he yanked them off, sank to his knees and pressed his mouth between my thighs.

  I clenched the blanket in my hands. “Oh my God.”

  His tongue was hot as it moved over me, and my body bucked reflexively against his mouth. My toes curled and white light flashed behind my eyelids. If he kept this up there was no way I’d make it long. Maybe that was his plan. Maybe he was still avoiding sex.

  He slipped his finger inside and my hips arched. The sensations were so intense I knew exactly where I was headed. And this orgasm would be even more mind-blowing than the first.

  “Ryder,” I moaned while gripping the sheet to avoid grabbing his hair. My lungs couldn’t pull air in fast enough to keep up with the pumping of my heart. “You have to stop.”

  His mouth and hands drifted away from my body and I took several even breaths, trying to squelch the fire in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t know what to expect from my first time, but at the rate we were going, he could just brush his hand over my body and I’d be screaming his name.

  There was rustling and I realized Ryder had reached into his nightstand for something. He stood and tore a condom wrapper open with his teeth.

  I propped myself onto my elbows as he lowered his boxers and rolled the condom on.

  This was it. No turning back. But looking at him, standing there all perfect—inside and out—I didn’t want to.

  He scooted me back and placed a pillow under my head. “Still sure?”

  I nodded.

  “Thank God.” With one elbow pressed into the mattress by my head, he settled over me. His hips rested between my thighs.

  I tried to relax my body as he ran his thumb along my cheek then brushed his lips over mine.

  He glanced down between our bodies, aligning himself into position. I held my breath and his gaze flicked back up. He studied my expression.

  I exhaled and attempted to calm my nerves, which didn’t stem from my decision but from the enormity of the moment. It was a really big deal, in a good way, but he seemed to think I was having second thoughts. Before he could question me, I nodded.

  The corner of his mouth lifted with a small smile. Gaze locked on mine, he shifted back into position and began easing himself in. My eyelids fluttered closed. It burned but not in a bad way. Once partially in he paused. “I’m terrified to hurt you,” he whispered.

  “You aren’t hurting me. Far from it,” I assured him. I held my breath, awaiting some kind of inevitable pain that never came. As he filled me, my body conformed to him.

  “You okay?”

  “Mm-hmm.” I rocked my hips against him. “Please quit stopping though.”

  He chuckled, and teased my body by pulling almost completely out then inched his way back in. The burning subsided as he slid deeper into me. My body welcomed the sensation, the stretching more pleasurable than painful. In fact, it didn’t hurt at all. I wasn’t sure why people made it sound so awful.

  He rocked in and out again, this time in quicker succession.

  With my arms around his back, I elevated my hips.

  He groaned. “Shit, Brinley.” His body stiffened and he stilled. He took a deep breath then glided back into me. He rolled onto his back, pulling me with him, never breaking our connection.

  With his hands on my hips as I straddled him, he guided my movements, raising and lowering me. But his careful movements prevented me from feeling the fullness I craved.

  I leaned forward, finding my own rhythm.

  He moved one hand to my breast and his other hand gripped my thigh. He brushed his thumb between my legs and I moaned. He repeated the action, adding a slow circle.

  The heightened sensation caused a tingle to burn in the pit of my stomach. I sat upright and lowered myself completely down onto Ryder.

  His eyes closed and he groaned. With a deep breath, he pushed into a sitting position, pressing his palms into the bed.

  I draped my arms over his shoulders and rocked my hips back and forth. Gazes locked, he gripped my ass and pulled forward in time with my body.

  “You feel so fucking good,” he said.

  I pressed my mouth to his and gasped at the friction our bodies created. Heat spread from my core into my fingers and toes. My head fell back as I panted. My stomach coiled and my sensations went into overdrive. The feel of his hand on my ass, the fullness of him inside me, my tender flesh rubbing against his abdomen, his lips pressing into my neck. And then every part of me tightened into an unbearable knot and exploded. Pleasure rolled through me. My body clenched around Ryder. He bucked up and gripped my hips, forcing me down onto him. I contracted around him as he pulsed within me. I held my breath, loving the high of the ride.

  Ryder collapsed and I fell with him. I lay pressed against his chest and tried to catch my breath.

  He brushed my hair back and kissed my forehead. “I was really worried I wouldn’t live up to whatever expectations you had about your first time, but never imagined you would exceed mine. Considering how long I’ve been wanting to do that, they were pretty fucking high to begin with.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Tucked into the blankets, I didn’t want to move, but the enticing aroma of coffee beckoned me from slumber. With my hands above my head, I flipped onto my back and stretched. The borrowed T-shirt I’d slept in slipped up my thighs as the sheet slowly descended down my body. I finally cracked my eyelids open.

  Ryder stood at the foot of the bed with the blanket wrapped around his hand. “Good morning,” he said with a grin.

  I smiled and rubbed my eyes. “Hey.” I sat upright and crossed my legs.

  “I picked up coffee.”

  Two to-go cups sat on the nightstand.

  “How long have you been awake?” I asked.

  He shrugged. “An hour. Maybe longer.”

  “Why didn’t you wake me?” I scooted to the edge of the bed, my feet dangling off the side.

  “It’s early.”

  I glanced at the clock. It was barely eight. “Oh my God. Why are you up so early on a Saturday?”

  “Dunno. Couldn’t sleep.” He grabbed his coffee and took a sip.

  “What have you been doing all morning?”

  “Would it totally creep you out if I said watching you sleep?” He cocked one eyebrow.

  I laughed. “Um, yeah. Probably.”

  “Well, in that case, I wasn’t doing that.” He cleared his throat then grinned. “I went for a run then got us coffee.”

  “You run?”

  “You thought I was naturally blessed with all this?” He pointed to himself with a look of mock surprise.

  “You aren’t?” I asked, straight-faced.

  “Well, yeah, of course.” He fought back a smile and leaned against the dresser. “Running helps me think, find focus. Calms me.”

  I blew on my coffee and took a sip. “Thanks for the coffee.”

  “No problem.” He pushed off the dresser and sat next to me.

  Ryder, though he smiled and joked, didn’t seem himself. It wasn’t exactly awkwardness, but something unspoken hung between us.

  “Is everything okay?” Focused on my cup, I pushed its cardboard sleeve up and down.

  “I hope so.”

  I glanced at him.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  I smiled. “Yeah.”

  His shoulders visibly relaxed. “I kind of lose my mind around you. Last night didn’t exactly happen the way I’d envisioned.”

  “It didn’t?” I pressed my lips together to hide the forming smile.

  “You know what I mean. I should have had more control, slowed it down. I’m sorry—”

  “Do not apologize about last night.” I spun to face him and sat on my knees. “We need to clear s
omething up. I’m not a china doll, you won’t break me. Last night was amazing, don’t ruin it by overanalyzing it. Got that?”

  With a smirk, he shook his head. “Thanks for making me feel like a chick.”

  “Well, quit acting like one.” I gave him a gentle shove.

  He grabbed my wrist and pulled me forward. “This whole not-fucking-up thing is a lot harder than it looks. Cut me some slack.”

  “You’re doing good, so quit worrying.” I rocked forward and planted a quick kiss on his lips then stood. “Could you take me back to my dorm so I can change before I visit my grandma again?” I glanced back at Ryder as I pulled my hair into a ponytail.

  His gaze focused where the T-shirt brushed my thighs. “You look good in my shirt,” he said. “I think you should always sleep in it.”

  I tugged at the lightweight cotton. “Won’t you miss it?”

  “Nah, I plan to see it often.”

  I brought my coffee cup to my lips to hide the ridiculous grin spreading across them.

  —

  Ryder dropped me off at my dorm and told me he’d return in an hour to drive me back to the hospital.

  As soon as he pulled away, I called Mason, needing to tell him about Grandma, but needing to do it over the phone. He’d always been able to read my expression too easily and I could only imagine what kind of information he’d gather from it today.

  “Hey,” he answered. I heard someone in the background and Mason whispered that he’d be right back. “What’s up?”

  “Are you busy?” I asked, hoping my phone wouldn’t drop the call as I rode the elevator up to my floor.

  “Just having lunch with my mom. She was in the area shopping. I should have let the call go to voicemail,” he grumbled.

  “Oh, well, I won’t keep you, but I wanted to tell you my grandma is in the hospital.”

  Mason made a weird gasping, choking sound. “Wait, what? What happened? Is she okay? Are you okay? Are you at the hospital? Which one is—”

  “Mason.” I cut off his rambling. I unlocked my door and found Fallon propped in bed with her laptop. “It’s okay. She had a mild heart attack but she’ll be fine. I was really upset and distraught, which is why I didn’t call you sooner, but I’m better now.” I ignored the hospital question, hoping he’d just assume I was there. “The doctors are moving her out of ICU today and she will be released in another day or so.”

  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “I am now. It was scary. But the doctor said she will recover.”

  “Crap, Brinley. I’m sorry about all this. I wish you would’ve called me sooner. I’d have gone with you. How did you get to the hospital?”

  I glanced at Fallon and considered lying just to avoid the conversation but couldn’t do it. “Ryder gave me a ride.”

  “Oh.” There was a long pause.

  The silence made me feel the need to offer an explanation. “We’d just finished lunch when I got the call. I wanted to get to her as quickly as possible. He has a car and was available to drive me.”

  “Yeah. Is, um, he—”

  “Hey, I have to go. Someone needs to talk to me. But I promise to call you if anything changes.”

  “Yeah, keep me posted.”

  “Tell your mom I’m sorry to interrupt lunch. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”

  We hung up and I plopped onto my bed. I didn’t like lying to Mason, but I wasn’t ready for that conversation.

  Fallon closed her laptop and looked at me. “Everything all right?”

  I rubbed my hands over my face and sighed. “My grandma had a heart attack.”

  “But she’s okay? Sorry, didn’t mean to eavesdrop but, you know.” She gestured around at the shoebox we called a room.

  I smiled. “Yeah, she’s recovering.”

  “Do you need a ride to the hospital? I don’t mind. If you ever need a lift anywhere, just ask.”

  “Thanks, but Ryder is taking me back.”

  “That’s nice of him.” She grinned. “You sure are spending a lot of time with him.”

  Pressing my lips together to avoid smiling like a love-struck idiot, I stood and opened the dresser. “Yeah, we are.” I could sense Fallon watching me.

  “So, uh, did you sleep at the hospital last night?’

  I glanced at her.

  She straightened. “Oh my God. I know that face. You had sex with him! Didn’t you?”

  I grinned, not quite sure what face I’d made, and pulled jeans out of the drawer.

  “You did, you slut!” She practically bounced off her bed in excitement.

  My face warmed. “I never said we had sex.”

  She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. “So, you’re trying to tell me you didn’t.”

  I bit my lip. I was bursting to tell someone and she was the closest thing I had to a girlfriend. “Okay, we did.”

  “I knew it! Details, please.”

  I hugged my clothes to my chest and sank back on the bed. “It was amazing. Like, indescribable. Hot.”

  “Wow. Not surprised. He pretty much screams hot fuck.”

  Laughing, I shook my head. “Definitely no false advertising.”

  “Damn, girl. You’re making me jealous. So are you two, like, a thing now?”

  “I think so.”

  “Good. That boy’s been working his ass off for a piece of yours. He deserves it.” She settled back with her laptop. “I’m happy for y’all.”

  “I’m happy too.” That was an understatement. The stress of Grandma in the hospital seemed bearable with him by my side. With Ryder around I felt cared for. Protected. Safe.

  No, “happy” definitely wasn’t the right word. This was bigger than that. This feeling was huge.

  After a quick shower, I dressed then waited for Ryder. When he texted that he was on his way, I headed down to meet him. I pushed through the front door and halted.

  Ryder and Mason stood at the bottom of the steps.

  With a clenched jaw, Ryder listened as Mason spoke, slowly pressing his thumb against each of his fingers, as if popping them one by one.

  Shit. What the hell was Mason saying to him?

  Neither guy noticed me as I rushed down the stairs. I paused a few steps away as their conversation became clear.

  “You may have her fooled but you aren’t fooling me.” Mason crossed his arms. “I see the way you and every other fucking guy look at her. Like some sort of conquest.”

  Ryder shook his head and started to say something but Mason cut him off.

  “And don’t spout your bullshit to me. Three fucking years in high school, and did you so much as talk to her? But, of course, now you’re suddenly interested,” he scoffed. “Just remember, I was there before you, and I’ll be the one to piece things back together after you.”

  “Look, you and I both want the same thing for her.”

  “Don’t ever compare us. We are nothing alike, and you’ll never deserve her.” Mason pushed past Ryder, slamming his shoulder into him in the process.

  Ryder spun toward him, finally losing his cool.

  Aw crap. I took the last few steps toward Ryder.

  A part of me wasn’t surprised Mason had finally blown off some steam, but another part of me was angry. No matter how many times I’d told him to let me do this my way, he’d never see past the guy he believed Ryder to be. Which wasn’t fair to anyone. But Mason was my best friend, and if the tables were turned, I’d probably also have a hard time standing back if I thought he was going to get hurt.

  Ryder finally noticed me.

  “Hey.” I tried for a casual tone, desperate to not let on I’d heard. “Was that Mason?”

  He nodded, but his posture was rigid and he looked pissed.

  “Everything okay?”

  He took a deep breath, and relaxed a bit. “It’s fine. Ready to go?”

  I slipped my hand in his. “Yeah.”

  As we got into his car he tossed a glance my way. “So how much of that did you really hear
?”

  Shit.

  I stared out the window. “Enough to know his heart’s in the right place”—I turned to Ryder—“and that he’s wrong.”

  He was quiet for a moment, and I couldn’t tell if he was angry or thoughtful but then he reached over and slipped his fingers through mine. He raised my hand and pressed a kiss on my knuckles. “Well, he was definitely wrong about one thing.” He kept his eyes on the road, but a small smile finally ghosted across his lips. “For the record, I was interested in high school. But your burning hatred for me seemed a good reason to keep my distance.”

  Fighting back a grin, I shook my head. “It wasn’t burning.”

  With a sideways glance, he curved his mouth into the sexiest smile ever. “Yeah, I saw the way you looked at me, it kind of was.”

  I peeked over at him. “Maybe that wasn’t hatred you saw.”

  He raised an eyebrow.

  I shrugged.

  “Wow.” He puffed out air. “Now you tell me.”

  —

  When we got to the hospital, Mom hadn’t shown up yet. A part of me worried something had happened to her, but I shoved that thought aside. Grandma was my main concern. Mom would not steal my attention away with her antics.

  Now out of the ICU, Grandma was allowed more visitors. “Would you like to meet her?” I asked Ryder.

  “Yeah.” He wrapped my hand in his.

  Grandma was propped upright and more of her color had returned. She had a plate of untouched food next to the bed as she flipped channels on the TV.

  She perked up as I entered. “Brinley.” The TV clicked off and she focused her attention on me. Her smile widened as Ryder followed me into the room.

  “Hi, Grandma.” I stood at her bedside. “This is Ryder. Ryder, this is my grandma, Hannah.”

  “Ryder. Nice to meet you.” He shook her hand.

  “Do you go to Sutton with Brinley?”

  “Yes, ma’am. We went to high school together too.”

  “Oh?” She glanced at me.

  “He’s a year older. He graduated before me.”

  “Small world.” She smiled.

  She had no idea. My first kiss to…my face warmed and I changed the subject. “How are you feeling today?” I asked.