by L A Cotton
“What happened to him?”
“That’s not my story to tell, Eva. Even if he wanted to make a go of it with Molly, and I think a part of him does, he will screw it up. It’s what he does.”
“That’s a little harsh, don’t you think?”
“It’s the truth. I’ve known Hudson a long time and the second things get too real, he bails. Foster carers, therapists, girls...”
“He’s never bailed on you.”
“That’s different, we’re the only family he has.” Rafe ran his fingers up and down my arm as if he was playing the lines of my skin.
“I really swooped in and messed things up, didn’t I?” A heavy weight settled in my chest. I wasn’t sorry I’d met Rafe; how could I be when he’d had a hand in helping me find myself again? But I did hate that things with Levi and the band were so complicated.
“There are a lot of things I regret, Eva,” he whispered, pain laced into every word. “But you’re not one of them.”
I fell asleep in his arms. Just a girl in love with a boy, wondering how they were going to survive the odds.
Rafe
* * *
The next three days were grueling. We had back to back shows in Kansas City, Minneapolis, and Chicago, followed by a smaller gig at the Grand Ballroom on Navy Pier tonight. This one was for official fan club contest winners, fans who were gifted tickets through non-profits like Wish Fairy, and friends and family. Except, none of us had friends and family, so it usually amounted to a bunch of industry types and clingers.
“We need to talk.” Riley breezed into the suite we had at The Fairview. Two shows in the same city meant we had a hotel which, after being holed up on the bus for the last three nights with the guys, Eva, and Letty, was a welcomed thing. After that first night, Phoebe had decided to stay on the other bus, but Eva and Letty stuck around. Alistair didn’t like it, but it was either that or I moved onto the other bus with Eva, which we both knew would only cause a bigger rift between the band.
For three days solid, we rehearsed, and we performed. Levi and I barely talked during the day, then at night on stage we found our common ground. Afterward, I dragged Eva back to our cramped bedroom and lost myself in her.
But tonight, there was no escaping. Tonight, we had to perform and then stick around and work the crowd.
“We have around fifty VIPs there tonight,” Riley scanned her clipboard. “Three are terminal.”
“Shit,” Damon murmured beneath his breath. I glanced over at Eva; she had gone as white as a sheet.
“They’re... terminal?” She choked out.
“Yes, why? Is that a problem?” Riley said, barely looking at her. “They’re Wish Fairy recipients. It’s a non-profit that—”
“I know what it is.” Eva grimaced. “I just didn’t realize... it doesn’t matter.” She got up and walked over to the window. It went from floor to ceiling with the best view of the city.
“What’s her problem?” Riley let out an impatient huff, continuing to check her clipboard.
“Seriously, Riley, you went there?” Hudson grumbled.
I narrowed my eyes on her, feeling anger simmer in my veins. As a general rule, Riley kept her distance. I had kept my promise to Eva and hadn’t said anything to Alistair. But every now and again she popped up, usually causing a stir.
“I’m sorry.” She glanced up, batting her eyes. “Is there a problem?”
“Yeah, there’s a problem...” I started but Levi shot up.
“You’re a fucking cold-hearted bitch, that’s the problem.” He stalked off, not sparing her a second look.
“Did he just...?” Riley was flustered, color streaking her neck. “He... he can’t call me that. And where is he going? The meeting isn’t over yet. We still have to go over—”
“I think the meeting is done, Riles.” Hudson kicked his feet up on the coffee table, fighting a smirk. He caught my eye, flicking his head over to Eva. I gave him an appreciative nod and got up to go to her. Not before I heard Damon say, “That was an insensitive thing to say, Riley. You know what Eva went through.”
I didn’t stick around to hear the rest.
“Hey.” I moved behind Eva, rubbing her shoulders.
“Hey.” She gave me a sad smile through the glass reflection.
“Ignore Riley, she just likes to—”
“Act like a cold-hearted bitch?” Eva smothered a grin.
“You heard that, huh? Seems like my brother is doing a fine job of defending you at every turn, when I kind of thought that was my role.”
“He was protectin’ you.”
“How do you figure?”
“We both know Riley will complain to Alistair about Levi. If it wasn’t him, it would have been you, and Alistair is still pissed at you.”
“He’s pissed at Levi too.”
“He’s always pissed at Levi. You’re different.” Eva turned in my arms. “I won’t let her get to me anymore, if you don’t.”
“Deal.” I sealed it with a kiss before groaning, “Do we have to go tonight?”
“If we don’t want to get kicked off the tour, then yeah, we do.”
“Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.”
Her eyes widened. “You don’t mean that?”
Didn't I?
“Rafe?” Eva urged when I didn’t answer.
“I’ll be there, I promise.”
“Of course you will, silly.” She beamed at me. Jesus, that smile. It stopped my heart.
“Yeah, and why is that?”
“Because...” Eva pressed herself against me, pushing up on her tiptoes until her lips were brushing my ear, firing up every cell in my body. “I’m not lettin’ you out of my sight. Wherever you go, Rafe Hunter, I go too.”
Now that, I liked the sound of.
“Talk to me,” Damon slid onto the stool beside me. I barely acknowledged him, too busy watching Eva. She had a group of young girls around her, all jostling for selfies and autographs.
“She’s a natural with them,” he added. “Did you see how some of them bypassed us and went straight to her? We must be losing our charm.”
He was right. Eva was a natural. I’d worried how it might affect being with the fans from Wish Fairy, but Eva was as gracious and humble as ever, taking the time to talk to each of them and take photos. I’d had a lump in my throat the whole time, watching her, imagining what she must be thinking, feeling.
“Okay, spill...” Damon nudged my shoulder. “What is going on with you? You look like someone stole your favorite puppy.”
“This thing with Levi, it has me all messed up,” I admitted.
“I thought things were better there? Levi seems... together.”
He did. He was at rehearsals on time, never missed a sound check, and every night, he gave one hundred and ten percent out on stage.
But there was still an ocean between us.
“It’s not the same.”
“Maybe it doesn’t need to be the same. Maybe you need to find a new way forward.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“Want to know what I think?”
“Not really,” I side-eyed him, “but I’m guessing you’re going to tell me anyway.”
“I think you’re waiting for him to screw up again. That way, you can justify leaving and going after Eva. You can justify choosing her.”
“That’s not... fuck,” I breathed.
Was that it?
Was I really waiting for Levi to mess up again so I could alleviate some of the guilt I carried around in my chest?
“It’s okay, Rafe. I’ve known you both a long time. He’s always needed you and I think part of you has always needed to be needed by him. Your relationship is co-dependent, just not in the ways you might think. You’re not only worried about what this will do to Levi long term, you’re worried about what this will do to you.”
I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. “You know you’re wasted in the band, right? You should have gone to college
and studied psychology or something.”
“Stop deflecting.” Damon leaned his arms back against the bar.
“In all seriousness though, do you ever think about what comes after all this?”
“Do you?” His brow shot up.
“Maybe. Now and again.”
“You mean, since Eva?”
“She makes me want things, Damon. Things I didn’t ever let myself imagine I could have.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“This life...” I let out an exasperated sigh. “It chews you up and spits you out. We’re barely adults and I already feel like an old man.”
He regarded me for a second. “You’re worried you won’t survive the tour.”
“I’m worried we won’t survive the tour.”
“Eva’s strong, man. Stronger than we all give her credit for. I don’t think her strength is the real issue here, I think it’s yours.”
I didn’t answer, I didn’t need to. Damon was right. Part of me had gone after Eva, and chased her back to Lyme, because I wasn’t sure I could do this without her. And now she was here with me, I already felt her slipping through my fingers.
Jesus, I was more fucked up than I realized.
Damon shook his head, a faint smile playing on his lips. “You need to have a little faith. Because, and don’t ask me how or why, but that girl is head over heels in love with you, and you’re sitting here like the world is about to end when you could be over there, with her.”
As if she heard us, Eva glanced over at us, her whole face lighting up at the sight of me.
“You’re a lucky son of a gun, Hunter. Now stop moping and go be with your girl.” The force of his hand against my shoulder had me stumbling off my stool. I righted myself and slowly made my way over to Eva. One of the girls in the huddle noticed, then another, and another, until their shrieks and giggles filled the air.
“I guess you all know Rafe?” Eva looked at me with such adoration.
I slipped my arm around her waist. “Ladies, did you enjoy the show?”
“Ohmigod, ohmigod, it’s Rafe Hunter... I mean, yes... so good. Ohmigod.” The girl was practically hyperventilating, her friends rubbing her arms as she tried to get out the words.
“Take a deep breath, Denver,” Eva said around a smile. The girl inhaled deeply, running a hand through her long hair.
“Okay... I think I’m okay. I just... wow, I didn’t think we’d actually get to hang out with you like this. It’s...”
“Pretty mind blowin’, huh?” Eva grinned. “I still pinch myself every day.”
She nudged my shoulder gently, motioning to the girls.
“I… uh…” I mumbled, their expectant gazes like laser beams on me. “Is there anything you want to ask? Within reason?” I tagged on the end.
“So many questions,” another girl spoke. “But I’ll keep it simple. Where did you guys go on your first date?”
Shit. They were all looking at me expectantly, waiting to hear all about how I swept Eva off her feet with flowers and romantic gestures and all that stuff… I hadn’t ever done.
“I... hmm...” My palms grew clammy.
Eva’s hand flattened against my stomach as she let out a small laugh. “Dating is kind of hard when your boyfriend is the bassist for Black Hearts.”
“So you mean he’s never taken you out?”
Their crestfallen expressions made me wither and die inside.
“I don’t need all that stuff,” Eva said.
“If my boyfriend was Rafe Hunter, you’d better believe I’d want him to take me out,” one of them said and a couple others nodded, their expressions clouded with confusion, as if I was killing their fantasy of me right before their eyes.
“I guess I’d better get my thinking cap on then.” The words spilled out before I could stop them. Eva peeked up at me, frowning.
“Ohmigod, this is so exciting. We could totally help you plan it... I mean if you need some ideas”.
“I think I’ve got it covered.” A strangled laugh rumbled in my chest. “But thanks. Now do y’all mind if I borrow Eva for a little while?”
Their collective sighs made me chuckle; only this time it was a genuine hearty laugh. “Enjoy the rest of the party.” I steered Eva away. “I’m never going to live that down, am I?”
“What do you mean?” she asked me.
“Being schooled on dating by a bunch of teenagers.”
As I pulled her toward a quiet section of the club, the Bad Wolves cover version of Zombie started playing. I froze, lost in the memory. It felt like a lifetime ago since that weekend in Camdena, when I’d helped Eva with her arrangement for her audition.
“Rafe?”
“Come here, you.” I gently tugged her into my arms, not sparing a thought for the room full of people all watching. The fan girls were right. I’d never taken Eva out on a proper date. I’d never danced with her, or watched her eyes light up with excitement and wonder as I picked her up from her house.
Burying my hand into her hair, I dipped my head and grazed the shell of her ear. “Go out with me?”
“W- what?” she breathed.
“On a date. Just you and me.”
“Is this about what they said?” Eva eased back to look at me. “I don’t need anything more from you Rafe. I have all I need.”
“I know, but you deserve it. And I want it.” Now that the seed was planted, I wanted it so fucking much.
A slow smile spread over her face. “You really want that?” I nodded. “Where will we go, though? And what about security?”
My other hand ran down Eva’s spine, pressing her closer, as I swayed us to the haunting track. “I’ll handle it.” I lowered my face to hers. “So, what do you say, Starshine. Will you go out with me?”
Eva kissed me, murmuring against my lips, “Yes, I’ll go out with you.”
Chapter Thirteen
Eva
* * *
“Are you sure I don’t look... overdressed?” I looked myself over in the mirror again. Letty grinned over my shoulder.
“You look amazing. Rafe won’t know what’s hit him.”
“He said wear something comfortable and warm, this is...” The denim mini skirt hugged my thighs and the pale pink blouse kissed the waistband. I’d teamed it with boots and a leather jacket. It wasn’t my usual style, but as Letty had pointed out, this was unusual circumstances. Rafe was taking me on a date.
An honest-to-God date in Indianapolis.
I didn’t know the ins and outs of how he’d managed to pull it off, and I didn’t want to know. The guys had teased me about it all day as we rode from back-to-back interviews at the local radio stations. Except Levi. He had chosen to ride in the other SUV.
“Perfect. It’s perfect, Eva. I’m so excited for you.” I turned around and gave her a weak smile. “Oh no, not that look.”
“What?” I chuckled. “It’s normal to be nervous before a date, isn’t it?”
“You’re asking the wrong girl. I can’t remember the last time I went out with a guy.”
“I guess being at the beck and call of the band makes it difficult to meet people.”
“Good job I’m only at your beck and call now.” She winked at me, grabbing my purse off the table and thrusting it at me. “Promise me, you’ll enjoy tonight.”
“I will. What will you do?”
“Keep Phoebe away from Hudson’s bad influence.”
“You don’t think he’d really try to...” My eyes widened. She was so quiet and naive. And deep down, a part of me was hoping he would sort out his crap and call Molly.
“I don’t think it’s Hudson we have to worry about.”
My brows furrowed before realization dawned on me. “Levi would never... Besides, Phoebe isn’t like that.”
Or was she?
“You fell for the Hunter charm.” She levelled me with a knowing look.
“You cannot let Levi seduce her, Letty. He’d eat her alive.” Besides, it was a
whole heap of drama we did not need right now.
“Jealous?”
“What? No! But I don’t want her to get hurt and I don’t want Levi to do something he’ll regret.”
“She’s not the innocent girl you think, you know?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means... everyone has a story, Eva.”
“I guess.” Before I could ask Letty what she thought Phoebe’s story was, there was a knock at the door. “Are you expecting someone?” I asked her. I wasn’t supposed to meet Rafe for another twenty minutes.
“It’s probably Phoebe, or the guys. Can you grab it? I need to...” She thumbed to the bedroom, a faint smirk playing on her lips.
“Letty.” It was my turn to glare at her.
“Eva.” Her smile grew. “Go, have fun. And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
I checked my reflection one last time, took a deep breath, and walked to the door.
“Hi.” Rafe was standing there, arm propped against the jamb, looking every bit a gorgeous rock star. “You look beautiful, Starshine.” He pulled his hand from behind his back and presented me with a bunch of pale pink roses.
“They’re beautiful.” Butterflies flapped furiously in my stomach as I took the flowers from him. “I thought we were meeting downstairs?”
“I want you to have the full date experience.”
God, he looked good in black jeans and a black shirt peeking out of his leather jacket. His hair was damp, curling around his ears and hanging over his eyes a little. Eyes that lazily raked up and down my body.
“See somethin’ you like?” I asked.
Rafe’s gaze landed on mine again, and he swallowed. “If we don’t leave soon, I’m not sure I can be held responsible for my actions.”
“Give me a second to put these in some water and then we can leave.” I backtracked into the suite.
Letty was hovering. “Boy did good.” She eyed the roses. “Let me take them and you two lovebirds go.”
“Thank you.” I handed her the bouquet and made my way back to Rafe. He was in the hall talking to Travis, the two of them close, voices hushed.