by L A Cotton
“What are you two talkin’ about?”
“Just discussing final arrangements.” Rafe shot Travis a narrowed look, and my bodyguard let out a frustrated breath.
“Will you be joinin’ us, Travis?” I tried to make light of the tension simmering between them.
He grunted some inaudible reply, ushering us into the elevator. Like most of the hotels we stayed in, it had a basement level parking lot. The sleek black SUV greeted us, its engine already purring. I spotted Fenton behind the wheel and waved at him. They were all so damn serious all the time.
Travis went to open the door, but Rafe cut him off. “I’ve got that,” he said, yanking it open.
I stifled a giggle as I slipped inside and shuffled across the seat to give Rafe space. He climbed in beside me, tangling our hands together. “You should probably know I’ve never done this.”
“You’ve never been on a date before?” I didn’t know whether to be relieved or feel sorry for him.
“There’s never been anyone like you before, Eva. I hope you know that.”
My breath caught. Being with Rafe was intense, different to anything I’d ever experienced before. But I had underestimated just how new all of this was for him too.
“Do I get to find out where we’re goin’?” I asked, nervous energy vibrating through me.
“It’s a surprise.”
When we pulled into a car rental place ten minutes later, I was no closer to guessing the location of our date. This time, Rafe let Travis open the door. He climbed out first, offering his hand to me. I frowned as I slid out.
“Okay... this wasn’t quite what I had in mind.” It was already dusk, the sun disappearing on the horizon. The place appeared deserted until a light went on inside and a guy appeared with a set of keys. Travis beckoned him over and the two of them discussed something out of earshot.
“What are you up to?” I asked Rafe, who kept toying with his lip piercing.
“You’ll see. Come on.” He grabbed my hand and guided me over to where the two men stood.
“Mr. Hunter. Miss Walker.” The guy greeted us. “Got a real beaut ready for you. She’s got a full tank of gas and the... special requests all on board ready to go.”
I shot Rafe a curious look, but he only smirked, accepting the keys from the man and leading me to a sleek black pickup truck.
“What is happenin’ right now?” My brows bunched together as Rafe opened the door and motioned for me to get inside.
“Travis and Fenton will be right behind us.”
I glanced back at my bodyguard and he nodded, despite the disapproval etched into his expression.
“Are you sure this is safe?” I whisper-hissed. I didn’t want to be a Debbie Downer, but we weren’t usually granted so much freedom.
“We’ve got it covered, I promise.” Rafe helped me into the truck before jogging around to the driver’s side. He climbed in, the click of the door taking the air with it. We were alone. No security. No bandmates. No Riley or Alistair.
Just the two of us.
A thrill shot through me.
“I thought we’d be goin’ to have dinner in a shadowy corner of some fancy restaurant with Travis and Fenton standin’ over us.”
“You can thank the fangirls from last night. They made me realize something.”
“Oh yeah?” I couldn’t hide my smile if I tried.
Rafe fired up the truck, and the engine rumbled beneath us. “Yeah, now buckle up. We have somewhere to be.”
It was a fifteen-minute ride out of the city. The familiar SUV tailed us, but the constant reminder that our lives were no longer our own didn’t dampen the anticipation zipping through me.
When Rafe pulled off the main highway and down a darkened track, my heartbeat sped up.
“Nervous, Starshine?” He reached over and tangled our fingers together
“Are you?” My brow rose.
The truck rolled to a stop in what looked to be an empty field. My eyes strained against the darkness as I tried to figure out where we were. Rafe twisted around to me, demanding my attention. “Eva,” he inhaled sharply. “I am always nervous where you’re concerned.”
“You are?” My voice was a quiet whisper.
“You’re strong and passionate. Determined and humble. And you come from this good, solid family. A family who loves you and wants to follow your dreams. It’s a little intimidating. “I didn’t grow up around that kind of love. That kind of support. You want the truth?”
I nodded.
“I feel a little out of my league here, Starshine.”
“Rafe, I—”
“Let me finish, okay?” He ran a hand through his hair. I loved watching him do that. Such a simple action but he did it with such care and precision as if the feel of each strand of hair soothed him.
“I love you, Eva. More than I have ever loved anyone else, and it terrifies me. You terrify me.”
“I... I scare you?” Dread pooled in my stomach. There was so much pain in his words.
“You’re going places, Starshine. You have this natural light that people gravitate toward. Me. The band. Masterpiece. People see something in you. I see something in you, and I don’t want to screw this up. I don’t want to lose you.”
I shuffled along the seat so that I could touch him, resting my palm against his cheek. “You’re not goin’ to lose me, I promise. You think I care where you came from or how you were raised? I don’t. You’re a good person, Rafe. The way you have always looked out for Levi... you carry around the weight of the world on your shoulders and you ask for nothin’ in return.”
His silence fractured my heart. Leaning in, I touched my head to his. “Listen to me, and listen good, Rafe Hunter, you are worthy.” He sucked in a harsh breath as I smoothed my thumb over his jaw. “You know you won over my mom, right? Molly too.”
“Yeah?”
“It’s true. She fell for you almost as hard as I did. Hard and fast and unconditionally. Your past doesn’t define you, Rafe.” I brushed my lips over his, slow and soft. If he wouldn’t believe my words, then I’d show him.
I’d make him feel every single one of them.
My tongue darted out, tasting him, running over the ball of steel in his bottom lip. “I love you,” I murmured. “You.”
I was halfway to climbing into his lap when the dark world lit up around us. “What the—” I looked out of the truck, speechless.
“We have the whole place to ourselves.”
“The movies. You brought me to a drive-in movie?”
“I thought we’d have more privacy here and I requested your favorite movie.”
The huge screen flickered to life, and the opening credits to A Walk to Remember began playing.
“But how did you—”
“Molly.” That single word had me grinning from ear to ear. “She said you had a huge crush on Shane West back in the day.”
“Oh, I did. He was just so stubborn, yet dreamy.”
“We’d better hurry then.” Rafe kissed the end of my nose before hopping out of the truck and coming around my side. He helped me out, leading me around to the back of the truck. “Give me two minutes.”
Rafe dropped the tailgate and clambered up, moving around. I pretended not to notice the hamper, or the blankets and cushions hidden under some tarp.
“You’re really pullin’ out all the stops, huh?” I said, fighting a smile.
Nothing could have been more perfect.
A private viewing of one of my favorite movies ever, under the stars, with the guy who made my heart sing.
Chapter Fourteen
Rafe
* * *
I had a long list of people to thank for tonight. The guy at the rental place had gone above and beyond. There were snacks, blankets—he’d even packed a cooler full of sodas. It was perfect.
Travis had reluctantly arranged everything with the security detail after scoping out the drive-in ahead of time. He’d handled the whole thing. I didn’t
want Eva to feel suffocated, I wanted her to feel normal. Just an eighteen-year-old girl on a date with her boyfriend. Then I’d had Letty call up Molly and ask her for a list of Eva’s favorite movies.
It had been a lot of work, but it was worth it.
Eva was worth it.
I barely watched the movie, too entranced by her. We were stretched out in the truck bed, Eva tucked into the crook of my arm, a plaid blanket thrown over her body. She was a rainbow of emotion, living every high and low with the characters as she picked at the popcorn. My thumb swiped across her cheek, collecting the tears.
“We could have watched something else, but Molly said—”
“No, no. I love this one.” She sniffled, sitting up and twisting her body toward me. “I used to think it was so sad, the way they had so little time together...”
“And now?” I palmed her neck. Throughout the whole movie I’d touched her. A gentle brush of my finger against her arm, our hands entwined between us. I couldn’t get enough of her.
“Now, everythin’s different.” She smiled.
“I know exactly what you mean. You know, I was only fourteen the first time Levi got strung out. We’d been partying at this dive bar. The owner used to let us sneak in, so long as we promised not to cause any trouble. Well, this one night, a bunch of older guys showed up. Real hard looking guys. It was open mic night and the second they heard Levi up there, rocking his heart out, they started buying him drinks. He was so out of it, but he lapped up the attention. You’ve seen how he gets.”
Eva nodded.
“One of them started cutting lines of coke, right there on the table. They were all doing it; so of course, when it got to Levi’s turn, he didn’t think twice. Anything for their validation.”
I could still picture the look of shame in his eyes as he watched me watching him. He knew he was making the wrong choice, yet he did it anyway.
“I stuck around but kept my distance. I wasn’t into any of that stuff. Levi played up to them, taking requests, then falling off the stage and doing more shots with them. He was completely out of control. It wasn’t until he came stumbling out of the restroom with a couple of the guys, and I saw their pupils blown wide open, while they were laughing, off their faces, that I knew he was on something harder than coke.”
“What happened?” Eva asked as I took a minute to collect myself.
“What always happens. They all left, and I was left to pick up the pieces. Our foster carer at the time was only in it for the paycheck. So I spent all night by his side while he came down. He was so fucking sick. It took me a long time to forget that smell. When he finally came around, he promised never to do that shit again and I stupidly believed him. Until the next time. After that, I realized Levi would always be chasing something.”
“Has he ever seen a therapist?”
“He’s tried. They have to do that kind of thing in rehab. It’s like he gets so far, and his walls come up and there’s no getting through to him. But you... you’re different.” The lump in my throat doubled. Even now, even with Eva right beside me, I couldn’t help the small seed of doubt or guilt or whatever the fuck it was festering inside me.
“Not this again,” Eva let out a frustrated breath. “Whatever me and Levi share, it isn’t the same as what you and I share.”
“I know it’s irrational, but I can’t help it. I can’t help but wonder if I’d have stepped aside and let the two of you...” Fuck, what was I saying? I could never have watched my brother with Eva. She was mine. She had been ever since the first time I saw her.
“What do I have to do to get you to see that I’m right here? There was never a choice for me, Rafe. It was always you.”
“Come here.” I curved my hand around Eva’s neck, drawing her close. I hadn’t wanted to ruin the night with all the heavy talk, but it wasn’t like we got chance to have these kinds of conversations on the road with a bunch of people always within earshot.
“I’ve been thinking, maybe I should talk to someone.”
Eva’s head bobbed up. “Like therapy?”
“Maybe.” I shrugged. “I don’t want to let my past relationship with Levi affect what we have.”
“I think that’s a great idea. Maybe Levi will... sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I chuckled. “Your big heart is one of the reasons why it’s so easy to love you.”
“I just want you both to be happy.”
“Tell me about you,” I said, wanting nothing more than to turn the spotlight from me to her.
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
Eva smiled, her gentle laughter like a salve to my bruised heart. “That could take a while.”
“Tell me about what you were like as a kid.”
“You really want to know that stuff?”
I nodded.
“I was always so shy and uncertain about things. The total opposite to Molly. She was always so full of life and ideas. A lot of people didn’t get our friendship, but it just worked. She’s always been the gentle nudge I need to step out of my comfort zone, and I’ve always been the little voice of reason tellin’ her not to do somethin’ crazy.”
“So, it’s Molly I owe then?”
“What do you...?” Realization dawned on her face. “Yeah, I guess it is. You know, when I got sick, it was like being a celebrity at first. My friends all sent cards and posters, and they would come hang out at the house. But as time went on, the visits grew further and further apart. I couldn’t go to school or hang out. Life kept movin’ on around me while I stayed still. But Molly never stopped showin’ up. Heck, she gave up most of junior year to be at my side. And if she went somewhere, she came and told me all about it the next day.”
“She’s a good friend,” I said.
“She’s the best. She doesn’t have it easy. Her mom is a single parent working two jobs. Molly has to help around the house a lot and help take care of the twins whilst finishin’ senior year and holdin’ down a job.”
“It sounds like she’s got a lot on her plate.”
“She has. She’s this outgoin’, impulsive girl who gives off a tough vibe, but inside, she’s just cravin’ someone to see her, really see her.”
“Does she want to go to college?”
“She did, but since her dad left... I’m not sure how she’d pull off college and helpin’ her mom with the twins. The University of Tennessee offered her a place, but she hasn’t accepted it yet.”
“Tell me about when you got sick...”
“You really want to know about that?”
I nodded. We’d talked about it a little, but I knew it was Eva’s darkest part, just as my past was the darkest part of me.
“Scooch over.” She laid down beside me, so we were shoulder to shoulder, under a blanket of stars. “I was a normal teenager, I guess. I hung out with Molly and our friends, cheered our football team on every Friday, played my guitar every chance I got. I was perfectly content with small-town life.
“I went to church every Sunday with my parents, made plans for the future. And then everything changed.” She hesitated, taking a couple of deep breathes. I slipped my hand between us, threading our fingers together.
“I’m right here.”
“Bein’ told you’re goin’ to die is a funny thing.” Eva sucked in a shaky breath. “It’s like a dream. You know there’s some element of truth to it, but you know you’ll wake up at any second and everythin’ will be okay again.”
“I can’t even imagine...” Except I could. Because I’d watched Levi push himself to the brink more times than I could count, wondering if he’d wake up after one of his blowouts.
“I was so angry and confused when I woke up in the hospital, Rafe. I couldn’t understand why I’d been saved. My mom and dad kept callin’ it a miracle, but it didn’t feel like a miracle. It felt like a mistake.”
Pain splintered through me at the honesty behind her words. To imagine a world without Eva was like imagining
a world without the sun. Dark and desolate and somewhere I didn’t ever want to be.
“I was supposed to die,” she went on. “Yet I didn’t. I had this pit in my stomach, guilt coiled in my chest. Why me? Why me and not one of the other kids?”
“Cody?” I asked, the pieces finally falling into place.
“How did you—”
“That night at Basement Vibes in Charlotte. You kept crying out his name in your sleep. At the time, I thought it was an ex maybe...”
“You never said anythin’?” Eva peeked over at me.
“I didn’t want to pry, and then everything was happening so quickly with the tour and the band... Us.”
“Cody was only a child, Rafe. He was just ten, but he was one of the strongest people I ever met.” Tears rolled down Eva’s cheeks. “He could draw almost anythin’, his talent was... it was special. But cancer took him. After years of fightin’, of not givin’ up, it just took him.” Her voice trembled. “Cody died and I lived, and I think I’ll always carry a sliver of guilt over that.”
“I’m sorry for your friend, Starshine, I am.” I leaned in, putting us nose to nose, my hand gliding up her neck, slipping into her hair. “But I will never be sorry that you got a second chance. Never.”
Eva
* * *
“Tell me this is real,” I whispered against Rafe’s lips. “Tell me this isn’t all a dream.”
I didn’t think I would ever get used to this. To him being mine. Even after everything, it seemed impossible.
Only, it wasn’t.
“I think that’s my line.” He inched away, his stormy gray eyes stripping me bare. The heat in his gaze turned my blood hot. I glanced around, searching for the familiar black SUV. We were in the middle of nowhere, in a deserted drive-in.
“We’re all alone, Starshine.” Rafe brushed the stray curls out of my eyes. “Peace at last”. He smiled.
“Travis and Fenton are—”
“Close by. But not close enough that you have to worry.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to havin’ a permanent shadow.”