Lover's Roulette, (Forever and Always #6)

by Todd, E. L.

  I walked past him. “You’re sleeping on the couch tonight.” I walked into my bedroom and slammed the door. He didn’t follow me.

  15

  Sean

  I hate myself. I really do. I’m destined for failure with Scarlet. I never thought my mom would open my phone, somehow find the video, and play it. Why couldn’t it have been the other video we made when we were just having sex? That would have been preferable to Scarlet kissing another girl. My mom was old-fashioned and traditional. I kept making Scarlet look worse and worse.

  My mom stayed in her room the rest of the night, and so did Scarlet. I lay on the couch with a thin blanket and called her but it went straight to voicemail. I knew she turned off her phone. She didn’t want to talk to me. I hated sleeping on the couch, but not because it was uncomfortable. Without Scarlet next to me I couldn’t sleep. I wondered if she was still awake because she felt the same way.

  I stared at the ceiling for a long time before I became too frustrated lying there. I walked down the hall then stopped at our bedroom door. When I tried the door it was locked. It wouldn’t budge. I went into the bathroom and found a bobbypin then stuck it into the lock. My brother and I used to break into each other’s room and steal each other’s stuff. I would sell his old cds and movies online, and he would take my watches and pawn them.

  I got the door open then crept inside. It was dark inside the room. I could see her form on the bed, tucked under the covers. She was lying on her side. I shut the door then moved to the bed.

  I took off my clothes then lay next to her.

  “This isn’t the couch,” she whispered.

  “I can’t sleep without you, babe.”

  “Not my problem.”

  “I said I was sorry.”

  “You realize that my mother-in-law will never like me or respect me as long as I live? That I will be forever known as a whore and a slut? That our children will hear the rumors when they get older and they’ll be embarrassed and ashamed of me?” Her voice croaked like she was trying not to cry.

  The sound broke my heart. I hated myself even more. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her close to my chest. “That’s not going to happen.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  “No, it isn’t. My mom still likes you. She’s just shocked.”

  “I give up. I’m tired of trying to get her to like me.”

  “She does like you. And I could care less if she doesn’t. I made it clear that you’re my priority. If she wants to keep me in her life, she knows she has to respect you and accept you.”

  “I still don’t want her to hate me. She’s going to tell everyone she knows. Everyone at the wedding is going to be whispering behind my back, saying you’re making a mistake marrying me.”

  “No, they won’t. My mom won’t say anything. Believe me, she would want that to stay a secret. And no one thinks I’m making a mistake. You’re the one making a mistake. And we don’t have to get married there if you don’t want to. It’s up to you.”

  She didn’t say anything, tightening the blankets around her. She didn’t turn around and look at me. She lied there like I hadn’t said anything.

  I kissed her neck. “I’m sorry. I never would have shown it to her on purpose.”

  “You told me you would delete it.”

  “I forgot. But I won’t make that mistake twice.” I grabbed my phone and placed it in front of her. “It’s gone.”

  She turned it on and scrolled through it.

  I was hurt that she felt the need to check. But I also didn’t blame her. I would be ashamed if our situations were reversed.

  “You didn’t delete this one,” she said quietly.

  I looked at the screen. It was the sex video we made.

  “Babe, I’m not going to show anyone. Don’t make me delete it.”

  “I can’t trust you.”

  That stung. “Please don’t say that to me. That isn’t fair. My mom found the video. I didn’t show anyone. And I’ll never repeat that mistake. I’ll never let anyone touch my phone.”

  She sighed. “I know, Sean. I’m sorry I got so upset.”

  “You don’t need to apologize, Scarlet. I understand why you’re mad.”

  “I do trust you, Sean. You know that.”

  “Thank god.”

  “But I want you to delete this video too.”

  I sighed, disappointed. “Can I save it on my computer?”

  “How is that any different from being on your phone?”

  “No one would have a chance to see it.”

  “It still makes me uncomfortable.”

  I was quiet for a moment. This was just a bad accident and it wouldn’t happen again. I really didn’t want to delete the video. “Okay.”

  “And the pictures.”

  “What pictures?”

  “The ones of me sleeping.”

  My heart fell. “What’s wrong with those?”

  “I’m naked.”

  “Your chest is covered.”

  “You can still tell I’m naked.”

  “So? What’s bad about that?”

  “I don’t want anyone to see them.”

  “No, please don’t do that to me. I love those pictures.”

  “Sean, I asked you to.”

  I sighed. “I’ll delete the video, but please don’t make me get rid of the pictures. I’ll do it, but please, please don’t make me. The pictures mean something to me. It’s artwork.”

  She said nothing.

  “Scar?”

  “Promise me you want let anyone ever see them.”

  “I promise, I promise,” I said quickly, feeling the stress leave my heart.

  “Okay.”

  I hooked my arm around her waist and kissed the back of her neck, trailing my kisses to her shoulders. My hand glided across her skin, feeling the smoothness. I was trying to calm her down, tell her I love her, but my cock sprang to life and pressed against her back like it always did when I was anywhere near her.

  Against my will, my thoughts turned sexual. Now I wanted to make love to the woman I loved. I was grateful she put up with all my mistakes. Her unconditional love intensified my attraction to her.

  I pressed my lips to her ear and kissed her. “I would never hurt you on purpose, babe. I’m sorry.”

  “I know,” she whispered, moving against me.

  I moved my hand down her ass then pressed my fingers over her clit and pussy. After I played with her for a little while, her back started to arch. I slipped two fingers inside her and felt the moisture within her. My lips kissed her neck then moved down to her tits. I pulled my fingers out then rubbed her juice on my cock, lubricating myself. I moved my fingers inside her again then pulled them out, repeating it. My dick was soaked and twitching.

  I knew Scarlet was prey to my touch because she turned over and grabbed my face, kissing me. She placed her legs over my shoulders then moved under me, wanting me to be inside her as quickly as possible.

  I broke our kiss then grabbed her hips, putting my weight on my knees. Her mouth was open and her hands were on my chest. I pulled her to me, sliding inside her.

  She moaned quietly, shaking as she felt me.

  I loved watching her reactions to me. With precision, I thrust into her while pulling her hips, fucking her hard without moving too much. I was silent in my movements, not moving the bed or slamming the headboard into the wall. I had a lot of experience of fucking in silence from my youth when I lived with my parents. When her nails dug into my chest and she bit her lip, I knew she loved the way I was fucking her. I moved faster.

  “Sean, I’m about to come,” she said with gasp.

  I leaned down and sealed my mouth over hers, quieting her as she exploded. My tongue slipped inside her, silencing her moans and drowning them out. My cock felt the constriction of her pussy as it glided inside her. Knowing she was coming for me made me want to come. Unable to keep up my strength, I released myself inside her, moaning into her mouth.


  She rocked from below, making the headboard rock slightly. I stopped moving, enjoying the feel of her pussy slide up and down my cock without any effort on my part. I stared into her eyes as I came inside her, filling her. Knowing I was the only man who came inside her made every experience that much more satisfying.

  When I was finished, I didn’t pull out of her. “I’m sorry about everything.”

  “It’s okay,” she said as she licked my chest. “As long as you still marry me.”

  “Nothing will stop me from marrying you.”

  “Promise?”

  “I promise.” My hand gripped her lower back, holding her hips to me, and I lay down beside her, keeping myself inside her.

  She wrapped her leg around my waist, her arm hooked around my neck. We took a sliver of the bed like we always did.

  “Don’t make me sleep on the couch,” I whispered.

  “No. You belong here with me.”

  “Are you sure it’s not Monnique?”

  She glared at me.

  “Is that too soon?” I said with a smile.

  She smiled. “I admit it is funny. Only crazy shit like that happens to me.”

  “I noticed that my life turned upside down when I met you.”

  “And it’s only going to get worse.”

  I moved my hips, moving inside her gently. “I look forward to it.”

  16

  Scarlet

  I realized that the sooner I came to the point in my life when I stopped caring about what other people thought, the happier I’d be. Unfortunately, I wasn’t quite there yet, but I was working on it.

  The next morning we were sitting at the kitchen table, having the breakfast I prepared. I got up early and made sure everything was ready. Diane kept her gaze averted to her food. She was very quiet. Instead of being offended, I decided to take the high road. I admit that kissing Monnique was a stupid, drunken mistake, but that’s what it was—a mistake. I did nothing wrong. Sean didn’t seem to care and none of my friends did. Ryan, my only family member, couldn’t care less. Sure, they teased me about it, but they would all take it to the grave. I really shouldn’t care what this snooty, old bat thought. Sean was the man I was marrying, not her. I decided to let it go.

  “So, how’s work?” she asked Sean. “You still working for that recycling company?”

  I didn’t detect a tone of disapproval, but I knew she was thinking it.

  “Actually, I quit.”

  That seemed to catch her interest. “Really? Why?”

  I wondered if he would tell her the truth. That would be awkward if he did.

  “I just didn’t like the working environment.” He shoveled the rest of his pancakes into his mouth then drank from his coffee.

  “Are you looking for something new?”

  “I’m going to wait until after our honeymoon.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “How long haven’t you been working?”

  He shrugged. “A month or two.”

  “Sean, that’s unacceptable.”

  “Scarlet makes great money doing what she does. One income is more than enough to hold us over. I don’t even need to work if I chose to.”

  “You still need to work. You’re the man.”

  I was annoyed with her traditional thoughts. I really didn’t care if Sean worked or not, even though I knew he would never stay home. I was passionate about my job and I loved what I did for a living. I always had the feeling that Sean didn’t feel the same way. He had been bred to take over their company and he didn’t know anything else.

  “Mom, don’t worry about us. I’m looking for a job—one that I actually want.”

  “What are you interested in?”

  “Good pay and good hours.”

  “Sean, your father and I are getting older.”

  He rolled his eyes. “I already said no.”

  “Just hear me out.”

  He sighed. “Okay.”

  “Aren’t you tired of working for someone else? The company is yours, Sean. You could work the hours you wanted and just oversee everything. The more stressful things have already been handled. Anyone would kill for the opportunity.”

  “I live in Seattle with Scarlet. We aren’t moving.”

  “Ever?”

  “No,” he said quickly. “Scarlet and I live here.”

  I was moved that he was so stubborn about this. The only reason why I was here was because of Ryan. Sean knew how important my brother was to me, especially after he had an insight look to my past.

  “You could do a lot of work from home,” she said. “And you really only need to be in the office two to three days a week. If you get your brother on board, you could split the work. Your father and I would be able to relax if we knew the company was being taken over by our sons.”

  “Well, it’s my life, Mom. I’m not going to do something just to make your life easier.”

  I’ve never heard Sean speak to his mother like that. Their relationship really had changed. He wasn’t taking shit from them anyone—not at all. Now I felt worse. It was my fault this happened. Sean was like a rabid watchdog, lashing out at anyone who even slightly insulted me.

  His mom didn’t respond for a moment, clutching her hands in her lap. “I understand that, dear. I just thought it was a good opportunity for you. You would be rich, richer than you’ll ever be if you work anywhere else, and you could even commute a few days a week.”

  “I’m not leaving my wife for a few days a week. That’s not negotiable.” His voice was as sharp as ice. “And I don’t care about money. Scarlet and I are happier than we ever could be. We have what we need. We don’t need anything more.”

  She sighed. “I’m sorry I said anything. I just want to make sure you have all the facts before you turn it down. If your brother doesn’t accept the company, we’ll sell it.”

  “I think that would be best.”

  An awkward silence filled the air. I felt like I shouldn’t have witnessed the conversation at all.

  Diane spoke first. “I’m going to freshen up then we can head out.”

  “Okay,” I said. “Cortland will be here in a few minutes.”

  She stood and walked down the hallway.

  Sean moved to the couch then turned on the television. I followed him and moved closer.

  “Sean?”

  He placed his arm over my shoulder then held me close. “Babe?”

  “What if you did take over the company?”

  He raised an eyebrow as he stared at me. After a moment he grabbed the remote and turned off the television. “What are you talking about?”

  “I want you to have a job that you want. You hated working for that recycling company.” He sighed as he listened to me. “Your mom is right. You won’t find a job better than that. You’re the boss and you don’t take orders from anyone else. Plus, you have job security.”

  “To be honest, I would take it if we didn’t live in Seattle.”

  “You would?”

  “Yeah,” he said with a nod. “I loved my job in New York, but you’re right. I didn’t like not being in charge. I guess I’m OCD when it comes to the office.”

  Now I felt worse. Sean was sacrificing everything for me, even his family company. “Then you should take it.”

  “What about Ryan?”

  “He’ll understand.”

  He stared at me for a long moment. “I can’t believe you would do that for me.”

  “You’re my husband, Sean. Besides, he has Janice now.”

  “And as much as I appreciate that sacrifice, I can’t do that. I’m not making you leave him.”

  “What?”

  “I know how much he means to you. You want him to see your kids every day, to go to Mega-Shake with him, to know he’s only ten minutes away. Scarlet, when I said I would do anything for you, I meant it. You are number one, not me. I live my life for you. I’m giving you the love, respect, and the life you deserve. Your happiness is more important to me than any job.” />
  His words were so sweet I thought I would cry. I couldn’t believe how much things had changed between us. When he said he would die for me, I believed him. “Why don’t you commute?”

  “What? And leave you three days a week? Are you crazy?”

  “I work from my laptop. I could come with you every time and stay at the hotel. I would be there every morning, and every night when you came home from work.”

  He was quiet for a moment. “And while that sounds like a good plan, what about when we have kids? You can’t just take them with you.”

  “Well, then you’ll commute by yourself.”

  “I can’t do that, Scarlet. I can’t stand the idea of leaving you alone for three days. It freaks me out.”

  “I could always stay at Ryan’s.”

  “You can’t intrude on his life three days a week.”

  “That’s the best I can do.”

  “Which is why it won’t work.”

  I sighed. “I don’t want you to give this up for me.”

  “Believe me, I got the better hand.”

  “I’ll ask Ryan if he would be willing to move.”

  “What?”

  “Janice has family in New York. She would probably rather live there.”

  “And his shop?”

  “Not to overstep my boundary, but couldn’t we give him money to open up his own shop in New York?”

  Sean stared at me. “I would be willing to do that if Ryan agreed, but I don’t think he will.”

  “I think he would if I talked to him about everything.”

  “We’ll talk about this later.”

  “Can I say one more thing?”

  He looked at me.

  “I appreciate how much you take care of me and put me first, but this is a two-way street. We need to do what’s best for each other, not just me.”

  “No. Your happiness is my happiness. I’m sorry.”

  We stared at each other for a long time until Diane came back into the living room. “Are you ready?”

  My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked at the screen. “Cortland is waiting for us downstairs.”

  Sean stood up then walked me to the door. “Have fun.”

  “Come with me,” I said.

  “What? Why?”