by Lisa Sommers
It’s still warm out, it being summer and all. There is so much more to talk about, but it’s nice to know that we can still have this time between us.
We get to my car and Derek grabs my keys from me. “Here let me open this for you.”
I smile up at him as he continues to take care of me.
“Chels, I’m sorry.” He turns to face me, putting his thumb under my chin so that I have to look up at him. “I’m sorry that I pushed you into something you’re not ready for.” I shake my head. “I’m sorry that I am not what you need at the moment.” Where is he going with this? “Maybe this week apart will do us both good.”
I am not sure why I all of a sudden feel his loss. It’s not that I don’t want him. I do. I just need to work through some issues right now. My own issues.
“Maybe you’re right. Maybe we are not made for one another.” What? No! “Hell, we aren’t even dating. It was wrong of me to expect more from you.” Derek gently pinches my chin between his thumb and forefinger. He slides his thumb down making my lips part. He lowers his head and kisses my mouth. He nips at my lower lip and pulls gently with his teeth, causing me to moan against his mouth.
I keep my arms by my side not liking the feeling of what feels like a goodbye from Derek. But, I can’t lead him on any longer. He’s right, maybe this week apart will be good for us. It seems we have become dependent on each other lately and me making myself a little too comfortable in Derek’s embrace is not where this can lead.
Derek releases his hold on me as he backs away. I can’t seem to make myself get in my car and he knows it. He stops when he’s about fifteen feet away. “Get in your car, Chelsea.”
I remain where I stand, because I am afraid that if I move my knees might buckle. “Why does this feel like goodbye?” I finally ask.
Chapter 8
Derek
I stand here in the dark of the stadium parking lot not knowing what I should do. Does she want me to go to her? Does she want me just say everything is fine? Because it’s not. It kills me to think that the minute she leaves here and goes home that she’ll probably end up calling that other guy over to her condo. And that’s the last thing I want. Just the thought of that dude putting his hands on her drives me fucking insane. Yeah, it’s what our original deal was, but screw that … I want a new deal. A deal that only involves her and me. No one else.
My thoughts are running all over the place knowing that I have to be away from her this entire week. Knowing that I won’t be able to see her or touch her for at least a week or even longer does things to my mind that I’m not familiar with. I’ve never felt this strongly towards anyone before.
“Chelsea,” I shake my head. “I don’t know what you want from me.” My voice crackles with concern.
“I want …” she trails off, not willing to finish her sentence.
I throw my hands up in the air. “What? What do you want?” I say louder than I intend to. “Chelsea, I can’t do this.” This is not what I meant to say tonight at all. She has me so fucking confused right now. I don’t know what I’m saying.
Chelsea nods her head and I don’t know what to make of it. Is she agreeing with me? I want nothing more than for her to come running into my arms. To come home with me. To kiss me. Make love to me. There is nothing I want more than to go to her, push her up against her car and show her what she’d miss. Show her that what we have is more than just a fling. But, at this point, the ball is in her court. I told her exactly, word-for-word, what I want from her and she shot me down. I can’t keep making an ass out of myself.
“You’re right.” She simply says. Her eyes search mine and it takes everything in me to not take back everything I just said to her. But, before I have a chance to go to her she turns on her heel, gets in her car and drives off.
Minutes pass as I still stand here wondering what in the fuck just happened. Why did I open my mouth? The last we spoke she said she was eventually going to talk to me and here I go and fuck it all up. I could kick myself for being so stupid.
I go back to my car and head home. I am so tempted to head to Chelsea’s place, but the last thing I need to see is another man walking through her door. It should be me. I should be the one to comfort her. I should be the one who tucks her in at night. Wake up with her. It should be me.
I know I sound like a selfish prick, but everything in me tells me that she feels it too. She is just hiding behind a wall that she built up to protect herself. From what? I don’t know. The only problem is she is the only one that is not allowing herself to fully accept anything more than what she thinks she deserves. And I think she deserves so much more. Maybe even more than me.
I don’t know what happened to her in her past, but if I find out some dumb fuck hurt her, I will find out who it was and teach him a lesson. No woman deserves to be hurt and it’s clear as day that Chelsea was hurt bad.
I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing over and over and over again. I ignore it for as long as I can before it is a moot point. I roll over and notice my bedside alarm clock says nine-forty-five.
“Holy shit.” I jump out of bed and nearly trip over the pile of clothes I left lying on the floor in a heaping pile. I was so tired and worn out last night that I didn’t even bother with putting them in the laundry basket. Unfortunately, I neglected to set my alarm, too. I grab my phone and notice it’s Cal. “Shit.”
I swipe the answer button and immediately apologize for being late, but it goes unnoticed. “Where the hell are you?”
“I’m on my way. I’m on my way.” I stumble over to the dresser, pull out a clean pair of jeans, underwear and socks and throw them on all the while listening to Cal yell at me through the phone lines. “I’ll be there in fifteen.” I hang up and toss my cell onto the bed and dash for the bathroom to brush my teeth and hair. I am late for the airport. The plane leaves in fifty minutes. I wish I could shower, but I have no time for that. I run back into the bedroom, throw on a t-shirt, grab my phone and suitcase and run for the door. Luckily, I packed my shit yesterday before the surprise engagement party. The only reason I packed early was in hopes that my time would have gotten taken up by a pretty little blonde I’ve grown so attached to lately. No such luck though.
I finally make it to the airport, through security and arrive at the gate just in time to see the backs of Shane and Alli walking hand-in-hand as they board the plane.
Shane takes a glance over his shoulder, presumably looking for me. Once he spots me jogging to the gate he throws his chin up acknowledging that he saw me.
Seeing Alli drags my thoughts back to Chelsea. I am fucking doomed forever if I don’t get Chelsea on the same page as me. I wish she would have come with us, but I never brought it up again after she totally freaked out on me when I first brought it up. She freaking ran the morning she actually stayed the night at my house. She said it felt like things were becoming too much for her.
“Late night, bro?” Shane stretches across the aisle and smacks my arm.
“I was at your engagement party man.”
“Yeah, but it didn’t end that late.” He’s looking at me as if I had some crazy night out on the town.
“I know.” I turn away from Shane, close my eyes and lay my head back against the headrest. I can’t believe I fucked everything up with Chelsea at the end of the night. She was on the verge of caving in to me, too.
“Did your girl end up coming home with you?” Goddamned Shane.
“No.”
“Leave him alone, Lucky.” Alli speaks up.
I look over to see Alli gazing intently into Shane’s eyes.
“I am lucky, aren’t I?” He whispers to his new fiancé, nuzzling his face in the crook of her neck. And then she giggles from his affection.
Fuck me. This plane can’t take off and land soon enough. I am not in the mood for all this mushy shit. Not today. Not when I know I will be left alone for the rest of my life.
We landed an hour ago in Atlanta. We barely have enough t
ime to check in at our hotel, change into practice attire, and get to the field for a practice before tomorrow afternoon’s game.
I can see Alli sitting in the stands getting exclusive access to watch us practice and I’ll admit that I keep expecting Chelsea to just somehow pop up next to her. I never expected myself to be in this predicament. It sucks. I’ve never had to chase a woman before and I don’t think I’m liking this feeling one bit. For the first time in my life I want a woman around for more than just a few hours and she wants nothing more than to just run in the opposite direction.
“Dude, get your ass in gear!” Cal yells from the dugout.
I shake my head and erase all thoughts of Chelsea out of my mind. It’s time to focus. My career is on the line here.
Practice ended up being a success and I have no doubt that tomorrow’s game will be a win for us.
“Want to join us for dinner?” Shane yells over his shoulder as we all make our way to our respective hotel rooms. Alli, Rob, Cal and some other chick hanging on Cal’s arm continue walking as they discuss local restaurants. I have no idea how Shane can walk in the same room with Alli on his arm and Cal walking no less than three feet away. Cal and Alli sort of dated before her and Shane got together. Maybe there wasn’t much to it, but I’ll tell you right now, if Chelsea was wrapped in my arms, I wouldn’t want her ex anywhere near us.
“No. I think I am just going to order in tonight. It’s been a long day and I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
I see Alli swivel around to look at me, she opens her mouth but then doesn’t say a word. I think she feels sorry for me. She’s mentioned several times over the past month or so that Chelsea just needs time. Time for what? I don’t know. I don’t plan on giving up though, because I know without a doubt that she is the one I want in my life. I just don’t know how to go about making that happen.
“Alright man,” Shane turns back around and wraps his arm around Alli’s waist. “Come on, beautiful. Let’s change and go grab some grub. I’m starving.”
Coach spins around and points his finger in my direction. “Just don’t forget to set your damn alarm this time. I don’t want to have to come chase you down again.”
“Aye, aye, captain.” I salute him before sliding my room key into the door.
I hear Cal mumble something under his breath, but I can’t quite make out what he said. I have no interest in finding out either, so I continue into my room, shut the door and immediately strip off all my clothes.
I need a hot shower to rinse off the grime and then maybe make my way down to the hotel’s sauna and hot tub to relax my muscles.
I call room service and ask them to send up a turkey club and three bottles of water. I need to rehydrate after today.
I take a quick shower and just as I am changing into my swim trunks, I hear a knock at the door. “Room service,” I must take too long getting to the door because the kid announces, “This is the kitchen service, we have your order for you.”
I throw on a black t-shirt and make my way to the door. I see a young kid maybe eighteen or nineteen. He’s staring at me with his mouth hanging wide open. “Hey, um, yeah sorry about that I was in the shower.”
His eye contact remains intact, but his jaw slowly moves up and down. Spit it out boy. “Um, hi. You’re um, Mr. Huntington, right?”
He must be a baseball fan. “The one and only,” why can’t Chelsea look at me like this. Well, maybe not quite like this, but is she really the only one on Earth that can easily resist me? “Here I’ll take that out of your hands for you.” I set the tray down on the round dining table and revert my attention back to the star-studded kid. I reach into my pocket and hand him a tip. He is still standing there without saying a word. “Um, would you like my autograph or something?”
“Really? I would love that. Thank you so much Mr. Huntington. That is so awesome of you.” Suddenly, his voice has come back.
I reach for the hotel pen and paper, but the kid all of a sudden pulls out a baseball from his … hell, I don’t know where he was holding that thing. “Would you mind signing this?” He holds it out to me.
He must have known who he was delivering food to since he had the ball. “Sure, uh, what’s your name kid?”
“Clarence.” He says.
“Clarence?” I lift my gaze to him. “Well, that’s a name you don’t hear too often anymore.”
“Yeah, well, my parents were a bit older when they had me. I guess it was a common name back in the day.”
I write the boy’s name and then sign my signature. I hand the ball back to Clarence and tell him thanks for delivering my food. The boy starts to back away slowly as I call out to him, “If you’re free tomorrow I’ll leave a couple of tickets at the front desk for you.”
Clarence’s eyes go wide. “Dude, are you serious?”
“Totally.” I am not sure how I started talking in this valley girl kind of voice, but it makes me chuckle. These are those moments that make my job all the more special. “I’ll be sure to leave them at the front desk before I head out to the game tomorrow.”
The kid doesn’t say anything else even though it looks like he wants to. I guess I caught him off guard.
I’ve been sitting in the sauna for about fifteen minutes when I hear a few female voices coming from the hot tub area. I had planned to get out of this sweatbox in no later than fifteen minutes, but I don’t feel like hanging out with any women at the moment. Fucking Chelsea ruined me for all others. I stay in here for a few more minutes until I hear silence. I creep out and peer my head around the corner. I don’t see anyone so I make my way to the hot tub so I can relax for a few minutes before heading up to bed.
I close my eyes and lean my head back against the hard tile. “Aww, this’ll put me to sleep in no time.” I say to no one but myself. This is exactly what I need.
I am here for no longer than four or five minutes when I hear shuffling footsteps behind me. I hear the sharp intake of a female’s breath so I tilt my head in that direction and peek one eye open to see who it is.
I come eye-to-eye with this chick who is completely focused on my face. I have no idea who she is but she’s giving me the creeps. She’s hot and all, but she’s looking at me like a lion waiting to devour its prey. I wish Chelsea would look at me like that.
Finally, she speaks. “Dude, do you know who you are?” She asks.
I lift my eyebrows. “I do.” I say warily.
It looks like she was just about to leave the pool area and head back to wherever it is she came from, but then she kicks off her sandals, throws her towel on a chair and strips off her large shirt she was using to cover her blue two-piece bathing suit.
“I am so not passing this up.” She says as she slips her slender body into the hot tub across from me.
Great. Normally, I’d be all over her, but I have no interest since Chelsea stole my heart, stepped on it and has yet to give it back to me.
I keep my mouth shut and just keep a wary gaze on Miss Space Invader.
“So, I take it you’re here in town for a game, right?” Here we go with the questions. I don’t usually mind small talk with strangers, it’s just that I am not particularly in the mood right now.
“Yeah, we have a game tomorrow.” I respond, still not offering up more of a conversation.
I see her nod her head, but her gaze seems to lower like she’s trying to look at my body through the water. “And I take it you are here for the next couple of days, right?” A crooked grin forms on her pretty face.
I nod my head, not verbally responding to her question.
Her eye’s lock on mine once again and all of a sudden I feel her foot run up the inseam of my leg. I jerk from the contact, pulling away just slightly. Other than that, I remain where I am sitting in hopes that she gets the hint and leaves me alone.
No such luck. She inches herself slowly around the built in hot tub bench seat. She’s getting closer and closer every second.
I remove my arm tha
t is spread wide over the rim of the tub and bring it close to my side. I don’t want her getting any ideas.
She still doesn’t take the hint. This chick has the side of her body plastered up against mine. My body stiffens. I’ve never been in this predicament before and not known what to do. My usual instinct would have been to wrap my arm over her shoulder and pull her tight against my frame. Take her mouth with mine and end up spending the next few hours exploring one another.
Not this time though. Not since a certain someone makes me want to be a better man. For her. Even though she doesn’t want me.
Miss Get-up-in-all-my-space leans in close to my ear and whispers, “Hey, my name is Kelly. How about you say we take what we have going on between us upstairs and play hide the flute? Or in your case, hide the bat?” Not giving me a chance to move, her tongue darts out and licks the shell of my ear.
At the exact moment my phone starts buzzing. It’s a freaking sign. A sign that I need to get the fuck out of this hot tub and away from her. What if it’s Chelsea? The emotions of betrayal wash over me. I know I’ve done nothing wrong and I know that Chelsea and I are not an item, but just the thought of having someone else’s scent on me makes me feel like a dick.
I manage to dart up off of my seat and out of the water before this chick can get her claws into me. “I’m sorry. I gotta go. Early day and all.” I don’t look back. I just gather my shirt, towel and phone and make my way through the exit. I hear her chuckle and murmur something under her breath, but I have no idea what she said and I am not sticking around to find out.
Fucking crazy lunatic. Or am I the crazy one?
I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock and silently thank God as I roughly scrub my hands over my face to wake me up. Cal would have had my head on a chopping block had I overslept again.
It’s game day and I am actually feeling pretty good about myself. Right before I fell asleep, I received a text message from Chelsea. She told me that she would like to talk to me when I return next week.
Just that simple text put me in a good mood. It may not be what I want to hear but just knowing that she is willing to talk to me is a start. She’s thinking about me and what we have ― or what we could have. I’ll be damned if I fuck it up this time. I texted her back and told her that I look forward to it. I wanted to say so much more, but I know that would just freak her out again so I decided to just keep it simple.