by Lisa Sommers
“You were on fire today, bro!” Shane and Rob say simultaneously as they both slap me on the back.
I nod as I recollect making six double plays in the last four innings. “It was a good day indeed.”
“Okay, well we have tomorrow off before we have another game here in town. What’s on tonight’s agenda? We need to celebrate.” Rob’s a good guy, but his mouth always gets us into trouble. He just doesn’t know when to quit.
Cal looks his way with a glare as he says, “So help me God, if you assholes so much as get any one of you in …”
“We’ll keep it low key, coach.” Cal throws his gaze my way with warning in his eyes. “I promise.” Holding my hands high.
“Don’t worry coach, we’ll just do some karaoke or something. Come on, you can join us.” Fuckin’ Rob. Like I said, he just doesn’t know when to shut his mouth.
“Maybe I will. Let me just call Ang … oh shit, I forgot she already left. Fuck. Whatever, yeah, I’ll come.” Cal rubs his hand through his hair. That guy has more women on his arm than any of us put together.
“Seriously Cal,” Alli puts her hands on her hips, looking at coach as if he disgusts her. “You can’t go one single day without …”
Cal cuts her off. “What? You jealous?”
“HA!” Alli counters back. “You wish.”
I see Shane ball his fists in annoyance. However, he has nothing to worry about. Alli is head over heels for my boy.
“Don’t push it, coach” Shane snakes his arm around Alli’s waist and pulls her against his chest.
Cal throws his arms up in the air. “I’m just kidding. Come on, let’s get changed and we’ll head out for some fun.”
We all know that Cal will end this night with some random chick in his bed and it makes me wish that Chelsea were here with me now. What I wouldn’t do to that woman after today’s winning game. Just thinking about her gets me excited. Damn it, I need a cold shower.
We are all about to enter our respective hotel rooms when I hear some familiar voices.
I would know the sound of them anywhere. I turn my head in the direction of the elevator and see two gorgeous brunette’s walking my way. They both shake their heads from side-to-side as they take in my filthy clothes. I always make it a point to see these two every time I come to Atlanta.
A smile spreads across my face as I open my arms wide. They really are beautiful. Both of them look at me and immediately run into my embrace.
“Summer,” I kiss her temple and repeat my actions with the other. “Sonny. I missed the both of you.” With these girls around there is no doubt that tonight will be a fucking blast. Hopefully, they can erase all thoughts of Chelsea, at least just for one night.
Chapter 9
Chelsea
I’ve been a blubbering mess ever since Derek left town. Maybe if Alli were here, I’d be able to take my mind off everything, but she went with the guys, too. Maybe it’s a good thing that she went. I’m still not ready to talk about my past even though I know I should.
Reflecting on my past is only for me. I don’t want to bring other people into my bubble. It’s all I have left. But, Alli deserves to know. Derek deserves to know. He has been nothing but patient with me and he’s made it clear that he wants me and only me.
I know in my heart that I want him too. It’s just hard. It’s hard when I every time I look into the mirror I see my baby. She looked so much like me. She will always be my one true love. I loved Bryce too, but nothing and no one can compare to loving your own child. The connection is like no other. The bond between a mother and her child is immeasurable. She will forever be in my heart and I’m not sure if I can ever follow through with bearing another.
When Derek told me he wanted kids and with me, it struck a chord deep within me. I freaked out and he has no idea why.
I made a decision to act on my feelings for Derek. He’s proven that he cares for me and in the end I know that Bryce would want me to be happy. The thought hurts like hell that I am giving my soul to another man but the fight against it is nothing that I have felt before. I have fallen for Derek and even though it scares me more than anything, I know that this is the right move.
I went to visit Bryce last night. I told him about Derek and my feelings toward him. It was almost as hard as the day he left me. Not quite, but telling him that I am falling for another man was a hard thing to do. After my one-way conversation with Bryce I turned to my right to see if the flowers I left last week were still intact upon the stone angel that watches over our daughter.
I fixed up the wilting bouquet and plucked out the petals that have browned around the edges. I placed a huge basket of daisies on Laila’s grave and blew her two kisses.
Even though she was only one, she had my wit. Whenever Bryce or I gave her a kiss, she would poke her chubby little cheek for another. Which of course, we always obliged. I miss her soft pink cheeks. I miss everything about her.
Nothing I can do will bring them back. There is no wishbone in this world that will bring back the best part of me. My sweet angel. My precious Laila. I need to finally pick up the pieces of what is left of me and live my life.
I need to go see Derek. It can’t wait until next week. I need to see him now. I call Bob from my desk and ask if I can have the rest of the week off work. He asks me if I am okay and when I don’t immediately answer him, he says, “Please come see me in my office, Chelsea.”
I know the moment I see him he will see right through me. He is one of the most intelligent guys I have ever met. “Yes, sir.”
“Don’t sir me. Just get in here.”
Gathering my nerves, I make my way to Bob’s office. His door is slightly cracked open. “Come in and shut the door, sweetie.” If this were any other guy I’d think he were a pervert, but this is Bob. He’s like a father to me.
I am normally not this nervous to talk someone but being that this is Bob and the topic in which we will be discussing, it has my stomach in knots over what I will be confessing to. I suppose I should talk to Derek first, but getting Bob’s opinion might work in my favor.
I end up telling Bob everything. Bryce, Laila, Derek. The whole sordid story. I have never told another living soul before. I don’t know what’s come over me. I guess I just needed that father figure, something I don’t have. Someone that will listen to me and not judge me. Someone who only cares about what happens to me and to understand the decisions I’ve made to live my life void of close and personal relationships.
I shouldn’t have told him what I am going to do but I knew he would be on my side.
“Go. You will make that boy’s day.” Bob holds his arms out to me. Now that he knows my past he fully expects me take charge of my life. And this new life includes Derek. “You know he loves you, right?”
Derek never actually told me he loves me and hearing it sends chills down my spine. Even though the words come out of Bob’s mouth and not Derek’s, I know that they are true. I am so out of touch with what it feels like to want someone that the thought scares me. I don’t answer Bob, but I accept his embrace as I fall into his strong arms. He is such a good boss. A good man.
“Go on now. Go tell that boy you want him. Don’t worry about shit here. I’ll get coverage for you.”
I haven’t felt this weak in a long time. I don’t usually depend on others and knowing that I am giving a piece of myself to someone else makes me feel a little uncomfortable.
After squeezing Bob tight, I pull away from him just far enough so that I can look up into his sympathetic eyes. “Thank you.” I express my gratitude for his understanding.
“Thank me after you get back next week.”
“Yes, sir …” I start making my way out of his office.
“Chelsea.” He warns.
“I mean, Bob.” I giggle.
“This trip is on me.” He says.
I stop dead in my tracks and face him.
“I won’t take no for an answer. All I care about is you getting what
you deserve.”
Tears begin to stream relentlessly down my cheeks at his comment.
“Do I?” I ask.
“More that you realize. Now, please. Go home and pack your bags. I will have Cynthia book a flight for you.”
“Thank you, but I don’t know what city they are in today.”
“They are still in Atlanta.” He smiles. “I spoke with Cal this morning.”
Joy resonates through my whole body. “I am really doing this, aren’t I?”
“Honey, would you like Judith to accompany you on this trip?”
“No. No, she doesn’t need to do that. That’s very sweet of you to offer up your wife though.” I laugh.
Bob chuckles. “I’ll tell you right now, that woman doesn’t take orders from me at all, but she would gladly drop anything to help you two work things out. She’s tired of seeing that boy look like a love sick puppy.”
This time it’s my turn to laugh. Not that I think it’s funny, but the way he words things makes me feel like I have hope.
“Thank you, Bob, but Alli is with the boys and I need to talk to her too. I’ve kept all of this from her as well.” I feel ashamed for admitting that because Alli is my best friend. Best friends should be able to tell one another anything. Best friends are who we have when all else fails. They are the ones that we should be able to fall back on. Not keep secrets from. I hang my head low in shame.
“Talk to her. She’ll understand.”
I hope he’s right. I don’t know what I would do if Alli felt like she couldn’t trust me. “Well, I guess I’ll go pack then.”
“You do that. I’ll have Cynthia text you with the flight details.”
I smile at the man that is encouraging me to get my life back.
I am sitting on the airplane and my nerves are a freaking mess. I called Alli on my way to the airport and explained to her that I am flying out to surprise Derek. Her hopes immediately rose for me. She constantly tells me she wants me to settle down with someone. As much as she thinks Derek and I would be perfect for one another, I have a feeling she would be happy if I settled with anyone.
Alli promises not to say anything to him, and Shane for that matter. Those boys stick together and there is no doubt in my mind that he would tell Derek in a heartbeat.
Alli wasn’t sure what their plan for the evening was so she just asked that I text her when I arrive. Bob already had Cynthia arrange for a driver to pick me up from the airport so I should be set when I land.
It would be an understatement to say that I am nervous about talking to Derek. My heart clenches tight just thinking about it. I am beyond scared and it’s more for me than him. I vowed I would never get to this point and here I am flying across the United States to tell a man I have fallen for him.
Am I crazy for doing this? What if he has already moved on? We didn’t exactly leave things very settled with us Saturday night after the surprise engagement party.
“The temperature in Atlanta is currently seventy-nine degrees with clear skies. We should be landing at approximately seven forty-five. We hope you have enjoyed your flight and we look forward to servicing you in the future.” The airline pilot interrupts my thoughts.
Maybe I shouldn’t have come. I can just hop back on another flight and head back home. I can wait another week.
“Honey are you okay?” I am quickly snapped out of my thoughts when I look up to see the flight attendant standing in the aisle gazing down at me. I look around me and notice that most of the passengers have exited the airplane.
“Oh, umm. Yeah. I guess I just had my mind elsewhere.” I bend down to retrieve my purse that I had tucked under the seat in front of me before standing up and exiting the airplane myself.
I collect my luggage from baggage claim and begin walking to the exit when I see an older gentleman holding a sign that says, Chelsea Hodges.
“Hi, I’m Chelsea, I guess I’ll play the part of Miss Daisy for you this evening.”
He looks at me for a moment with no expression on his face, but then breaks out in a full on belly-slapping chuckle. “Haha, I get it. Driving Miss Daisy.” He continues with holding his stomach before finally reaching for my bag.
He turns around and heads for the sliding double doors that lead outside. He’s still laughing. He must not get out much.
“Ma’am, my name is Chuck. Where are we headed this evening?”
Oh crap, I forgot I need to text Alli to see where they are at. “If you wouldn’t mind bringing me to my hotel …” Oh wait, I didn’t book a room. I guess I just figured I’d stay with Derek. That thought surprises me just as much as me flying out here. I don’t usually stay the night with anyone. Ever. Except for last week when I stayed at Derek’s house, but then I freaked out and left before he even woke up. So the fact that I never gave it a second thought about staying almost an entire week in a hotel room with him must mean something. Maybe I do care about him more than even I imagined. The thought brings a smile to my face. As Chuck drives I text Alli to see what is going on.
“Yeah, just bring me to the hotel.” I give Chuck the name and address of the hotel as I type out a text to Alli.
Me: I am on my way to the hotel. Are you guys there?
A few minutes go by with no word from Alli. I keep tapping my phone, waiting for her response and finally it comes through.
Alli: No. We are at a karaoke bar. Come join us!
Oh no. I can tell when Alli drinks and it’s clear she’s had a couple already.
Me: Umm. What is the name of the place?
She replies immediately.
Alli: Midtown Tavern. It’s on Piedmont.
Well, okay then. “Um, Chuck?”
“Yes, Miss Daisy?” I wonder if he is going to continue to call me that.
“Would you mind if we swing by the hotel just to drop my bags off and then take me to some place called Midtown Tavern?”
“Oh Midtown, huh? Anywhere you want, Miss Daisy.” I look up and notice his big grin in the rearview mirror. “Do you plan on doing some singing tonight?
Hopefully, an instrument. The skin flute actually. But I don’t tell him that. “The night is young, Chuck. You never know what might happen after midnight.”
Chuck starts laughing uncontrollably again. He seriously needs to get out more.
After dropping off my luggage with the bell hop at the hotel, we finally arrive at Midtown Tavern. “Thanks, Chuck. I think I should be good from here.” I lean over the seat and hand him a few twenties.
“Are you sure? Why don’t you take a look inside first before I leave? You know, to make sure your friends are here.” He makes a good point.
“Good idea,” I hop out of the black limousine. Yes, I said limousine. Bob went all out for me.
I make my way to the front door, loud music filtering out through the thin walls. I peek inside and look around. Hmm, they’ve got to be here. Alli would have let me know if they decided to go somewhere else. I finally spot Shane, Alli and a few of the players at the far end of the bar at a large table. Turning around, I wave to Chuck to let him know he can leave now.
Chuck did a good job of keeping my mind pre-occupied with his endless rambling of historical facts about Atlanta that I haven’t had a second to think about why I am here in the first place.
Did you know that there are over fifty-five streets named Peachtree in Atlanta, alone? Did you also know that the Atlanta airport, Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, is as big as forty-five football fields? Or, that Atlanta is the fifth capital of Georgia behind Savannah, Augusta, Louisville, and Milledgeville? Chuck was full of knowledge of the town’s history.
Now that I am here, I am nervous as fuck. My stomach is turning and I think I am going to throw up. I turn around and run back outside wanting to catch Chuck, but he is nowhere to be found. Shit.
I can do this. I can do this. I repeat over and over again. I am bent over with my hands resting on my knees. Breathe Chelsea. Breathe. I manage to get mysel
f righted for a few minutes until it hits me again. I haven’t had a panic attack in years and here I am all alone, outside of a bar, dry heaving.
“Hey honey. Are you okay?” I look up to see a young girl looking at me with concern in her eyes. “Can I get you anything?” She asks.
“A cup of water, please.” I offer her a lopsided smile so that she knows I am somewhat okay.
“Sure. I’ll be right back.” She goes back into the bar and the loud music penetrates my ears. But, I think it’s karaoke. The voice sounds a little like Derek’s. It soothes me just little. I love the sound of his sexy voice. Especially, when he whispers filthy things in my ear.
I can do this. The thought of Derek and his sinful hands oddly calms me down. Just then the cute brunette returns with a glass of water. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Can I help …”
“Chelsea and no, no thank you. I just need a moment. I’ll be good. I appreciate your help though.” I accept the glass from her outstretched arm. I take a few sips and offer the girl a friendly smile. “Thanks again.”
“Sure.” She simply says and returns to go back inside the bar.
I look up to the dark sky and make one last wish to my family. “I know, baby, that you would want me to be happy, but deep down I’m scared. I miss you. I miss you both so much and I wish you were here with me. Well, maybe not here in Atlanta, but you know what I mean.” I swipe away the few tears that have made their way down my cheeks.
It’s time I gather my bearings and make this happen. I smooth out my clothes with the palm of my hands before reaching for the iron door handle of the bar.
I glance around the room and see a few of the players gathered around the table I previously saw Shane and Alli at. I also see Rob at the mic singing one of my new favorite songs, Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys. I never would have guessed he had a voice to sing a song like that. I think I like it.