The Mile High Madness

by Anders, Annabelle

  Let Corinne be okay.

  Let Corinne be okay.

  Let Corinne be okay.

  When they emerged into the meadow behind the house, the horses seemed to move even faster. Peyton led them all to the barn, pretty much flew off of Hermes, and assisted Corinne to the ground. He made sure she was comfortable and then turned to Stella. “I need to get my keys. Misty will show you how to put the horses up.” He looked torn to leave her with such a responsibility. “Unless–”

  “No!” Stella waved him away. “We’ve got this!” She tried to sound confident even as she summoned the courage to dismount Pickles on her own.

  He nodded and then ran toward the house. Stella slid her right foot out of the stirrup, tightly grasped the saddle horn, and with a deep breath swung it over the horse toward the ground. Her left foot stuck for a second, but then pulled out just in time to keep her from landing on her ass. By the time she helped Misty dismount, Peyton was already back outside. Misty rushed over to the truck with every intention of climbing in beside her mother but Peyton leaned down to talk with her. The little girl rubbed at her eyes and then nodded in agreement.

  Stella looked at the three horses nervously.

  God, she felt so out of her element.

  “We need to take their saddles off, Stella, and brush them.” Misty seemed less distraught now, as she came up beside her. “Let’s do Pickles first, since she carried both of us.”

  With Misty’s instructions, Stella somehow managed to do everything they were supposed to do after a ride. She removed saddles, unbuckled straps and managed to put the equipment away while Misty busied herself brushing each horse.

  Stella learned that the horses could get water anytime they wanted, but she and Misty would need to feed them later tonight. Misty knew so much.

  When they finally returned to the house, Stella found her phone, made sure she had a signal, and put it in her back pocket where she’d be sure to hear it ring.

  Since the two of them were covered in dirt and dust and God–knows–what, Stella ran a bath for Misty and changed out of her own clothes. Returning to the bathroom as the tub filled, Stella bit inside her lip. “Do you need help in here? Want me to wash your hair?” Misty, quieter than normal, sat on the edge of the tub still fully dressed. Stella dropped to the floor and began removing the child’s miniature sized cowboy boots.

  “I can take baths by myself, but mom helps wash my hair.” Misty looked lethargic though.

  “Arms up.” Stella spoke casually and tugged Misty’s t-shirt over her head. Finally, Misty moved into action. With no self-consciousness whatsoever, she then tugged her jeans and panties off and climbed into the water.

  “Will the hospital give mom some medicine? So, she doesn’t hurt so much anymore?” A doll with pink hair that had been sitting on the ledge fell into the water. Misty reached for her and began swooshing her around.

  Wishing she had some answers, Stella took hold of the soap and lathered Misty’s shoulders and neck. “I think they will. Or they wouldn’t be very good doctors, would they? You want to lay down to get your hair wet?” She didn’t want to lie. She searched her mind for something to say, anything to ease Misty’s worries, but then second guessed herself. What if…?

  So instead she asked about the doll. What was her name? Stella lathered Misty’s hair and, as per Misty’s instructions, rinsed the shampoo by using a tall plastic cup.

  By the time Stella turned the lever to drain the tub, the entire front of her own shirt was drenched. But Misty had brightened somewhat.

  Wearing only a towel, Misty skipped back to her own room. By the time Stella had tidied the bathroom and joined Misty, the little mite was already wearing shorts and a new shirt. No pink ruffles in this room! Although a few dolls sat atop the dresser, most of the décor reflected both Misty and Corinne’s personalities. A long shelf boasted mostly books; children’s books but also a few classics. Tom Sawyer, Anne of Green Gables, and Little House on the Prairie. Likely Corinne read to Misty at night. Stella made a mental note to ask Misty about this later.

  Stella swallowed hard when she noticed the detailed quilt on the bed.

  A low growl coming from Misty’s tummy reminded Stella that it was dinner time. Although food was the farthest thing from Stella’s mind, it was obvious this little one needed to eat. Try to go on as though everything is normal. Stella asked Misty lots of questions and teased the five-year-old for having to babysit her. Even though they found moments to laugh, every once in a while, Stella caught Misty looking unnaturally worried.

  Just as Stella put on some water to make macaroni and cheese, her phone vibrated and buzzed in her pocket.

  Corinne’s phone. “Hello?”

  “Stella?” Peyton’s voice.

  “Is she okay? Where are you?”

  “They’ve got her pain under control. We’re in Grand Junction.” Over an hour away.

  “But she’s okay?”

  Please Peyton, now is not the time for your deliberating delays!

  “Her doctor met with me.” It wasn’t good. She heard it in his voice. “He’s going to run some tests, but for now thinks we should put off any treatment.” Strained, his voice sounded like he could barely keep his emotions under control.

  “Put it off?” No! No! They needed to kill the cancer! They needed to fight it as soon as possible!

  “He said he’d talk with Corinne tomorrow. She’s pretty out of it right now. He wants–” No! No! No! “He wants to consider palliative treatment from here on out.”

  Stella covered her mouth with one hand. It was too soon. She just got here. They needed more time.

  The line was silent while the significance of his words set in.

  “What should I tell Misty?” Misty had disappeared a few minutes ago, up to her room. Stella almost felt like throwing up.

  “Tell her… Tell her…”

  “Peyton? How about you stay there tonight? I’ll use Corinne’s truck and take Misty to school. When school lets out Misty and I will come to the hospital.”

  “I have to come home, feed the horses. I’ve got so much damn work to do.”

  “Misty and I have got this. She already told me about feeding them. You can let us take care of things for one night. She’s your sister.”

  This time the pause was okay. “Yeah. Okay. You’re right. There’s a couch in here. I’ll stay up here with her.”

  Stella wrote down the name of the hospital and Peyton’s own cell. “I’ll keep my phone on… just in case you need anything.”

  “Okay. And… Stella?”

  “Yeah?”

  She waited.

  “Nothing. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  The remainder of the evening passed in a fog. Stella didn’t feel it was her place to tell Misty the truth. Over dinner, she told her they’d go up to the hospital after school tomorrow and that she didn’t know when Corinne could come home.

  She didn’t try to sugarcoat her feelings though. She was worried. Misty was worried. It served no purpose to pretend otherwise.

  Locating the list Corinne had left beside her bed, Stella was grateful at how surprisingly detailed it was. All of Misty’s school information was on it, as well as other notes, such as when to feed the horses – what to feed the horse, and where she kept the keys to her truck.

  Together they took care of the chores and then it was time for bed. They’d need to get up early so Misty could catch her bus on time, and they’d have to feed the horses before that. By the time Misty was asleep, Stella felt overwhelmed and exhausted. She finally showered, changed into her own pajamas and climbed into bed.

  Even so, sleep eluded her.

  Over the past twenty-four hours, entire lives were being changed and yet somehow, she was still a bystander.

  Same as she always was.

  Except this was Corinne. The closest thing to a sister she’d ever known. And Misty – her goddaughter.

  And now Peyton.

  She remembered that mom
ent before he led them down the mountain. They’d connected. They were a team. It was up to the two of them to make the next few weeks, or months, or however much Corinne had left, as comfortable, as endurable as possible.

  He’d needed her.

  She felt like they’d known one another a lifetime instead of just one day.

  None of it made sense. He was Corinne’s brother and the circumstances demanded they work together. Nothing more to it.

  She turned onto her side and hugged a pillow. When she closed her eyes, though, the creaking of the door alerted her that she wasn’t alone in the room.

  “Can I sleep with you Stella?” Misty!

  “Climb in here baby.” She didn’t need to hug the pillow after all. For one tiny, sweet smelling little five-year-old cuddled up beside her.

  “I miss Mama.” Misty buried her face against Stella’s chest.

  “Me too, sweetie. Me too.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Stella didn’t have any problem getting Misty to school, driving the truck, or locating the hospital the next afternoon. Which she appreciated, considering everything else.

  Misty clung to her hand tightly as they walked through the long hallways in search of room 414. It smelled like every other hospital. Like medicine, and illness, and antiseptic. She knew Misty would remember this smell forever. “I’ve never been in a hospital before,” Misty whispered.

  “Except when you were born. But you wouldn’t remember that.” Stella tried to be upbeat.

  “Oh yeah. I forgot about that.”

  They found her room at the end of a hallway. Stella tapped on the closed door softly. “Come in.” It just felt so good to hear Corinne’s voice. They hadn’t lost her yet.

  Misty’s grip tightened when they entered though. Corinne was hooked up to an IV and an oxygen tube draped across her face.

  When Stella met Corinne’s gaze she knew. There wouldn’t be any chemotherapy, no radiation. They’d never see Corinne lose all that glorious hair of hers. Corinne’s’ eyes held a sad resignation.

  “Hey baby.” Corinne reached one hand toward her daughter. Misty dropped Stella’s hand and moved forward, timidly.

  Sitting in an uncomfortable looking chair in the corner, Peyton looked like he hadn’t slept in days. Stella stepped forward with a plastic bag. “We thought you might want a change of clothes.” She hadn’t wanted to go rifling through his drawers, but Misty had insisted he needed something clean. She didn’t want Uncle Pay to be “stinky”.

  Dark circles stood out beneath his eyes and his hair looked as though he’d run his hand through it a thousand times. “Thanks.”

  They talked about mundane things for a little while and then Corinne addressed Stella and Peyton. “Do you two mind if I have a few minutes alone with my Misty?”

  It took all of Stella’s control not to burst into tears right there. “Of course.” Peyton rose from his chair and moved toward the door.

  Stella forced a weak smile. “We’ll grab a cup of coffee. You want us to get you anything, kiddo?”

  But Misty seemed to sense the mood of what her mother might be going to say. “No, I’m not hungry.”

  A few sad smiles all around and then Stella and Peyton stood in the hallway alone.

  His eyes looked haunted. She wanted to wrap her arms around him but… she barely knew him.

  “I think the cafeteria is this way.” Peyton pointed behind them. “You didn’t have any trouble with the horses, did you?”

  “No.” She went on to tell him what chores she’d tackled and hoped it helped ease his mind. By the time they’d bought two coffees and sat down in a scratched up wooden booth, she ran out of words.

  Peyton took a deep breath before breaking the silence. “She can come home tomorrow. She wants to be at home, as long as we can keep her pain under control. A hospice nurse will come check on her once we’ve got her settled in.

  Stella stirred her coffee, not really interested in drinking it. “How long?”

  But he didn’t answer – just stared at his hands unseeing.

  Stella placed her hand on top of his. “You okay?” Of course, he wasn’t okay. His fingers curled around hers.

  “She talked a lot when we drove over here. It was like she knew.” His voice tore at her heart. Stella rubbed her thumb up and down his. “She talked about you.”

  Stella stilled her motions. “About me?”

  “She told me that the very first time you met, everybody in your dorm was going out dancing and she didn’t have anything to wear. She told me you took her into your room and loaned her some of your prettiest clothes. And that you helped her with her hair. She told me other stories about you. She said you helped her to be happy again after our parents’ accident.

  “Corinne’s the best friend I ever had.”

  He still had hold of her hand. “Well, I wanted to thank you for all you’ve done for her. I never realized… I mean, she’s mentioned you on and off, but…” He twisted his mouth into a painful grin and then dislodged his hand from hers. “Hey, I’m gonna go. I need to get back to the ranch. I can’t stand… I just gotta go. Can you get Misty home okay?”

  By now he was out of the booth, standing. His face had changed into something hard. “Yeah, I can…” She wanted to tell him to drive careful. She wanted to beg him not to leave her to deal with this alone. “I’ll meet you at home? Er…at the house?”

  He didn’t meet her eyes. “Yeah. Yeah. I’ll be there. I just gotta…”

  “Oh, yeah, I understand.” Of course, he didn’t want to face Misty in a few minutes. He didn’t want to deal with his niece when she’s just learned that her mother was dying.

  Bastard. Did he think all of this was easy for her? “Just go.”

  He paused a minute and then dropped some money on the table. “Buy something for Misty in the gift shop, will ya?”

  And then he was gone.

  Stella bought a stuffed animal for Misty and then, not yet ready to head upstairs, walked around outside for a while. She needed to cool off. Misty was going to need him more than ever today and he chose now to turn tail and run? Couldn’t he have waited?

  By the time Stella finally arrived upstairs Misty was tucked in beside Corinne sleeping.

  Stella sat the toy on the window ledge and pulled up a chair. “You okay?” Such a stupid question but Corinne knew what she meant.

  “She cried. And then she comforted me.” Corinne’s eyes filled up with tears. “She’s worried about me hurting, about me worrying about her. I don’t think she understands completely… she’s so grown up – my little one.”

  “She looks so comfortable there.”

  Corinne glanced at the door. “Did you lose Peyton somewhere?”

  Stella grimaced. She didn’t want to give Corinne anything else to fret over, but Corinne likely understood her brother better than anybody else. “This is hitting him pretty hard. He said he had to get out of the hospital.”

  “I was surprised he stayed up here last night. I feel so guilty, Stella, for putting everybody through all this. I feel like I’ve failed somehow.” This time a tear escaped and rolled down the side of her face.

  Stella took her hand. “God no, Corinne. You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. It’s just so hard because we love you so much.” She thought about the quilts Corinne had sewn and the special touches she’d left around that house. And what an amazing job her friend had done with Misty after Mike took off.

  They chatted softly for a while, about special occasions they’d spent together with Misty, about silly memories from school, and then Stella glanced at her watch. “Misty and I fed the horses this morning. Do you think Peyton would have gone back to the ranch?”

  “Normally,” Corinne frowned. “But if he’s upset… he could have gone anywhere. This is new territory for us.”

  Stella’s gaze fell on Misty. “I’d better get back then. Just in case. I hate to wake her up though.” A nurse had entered and was changing out th
e I.V. bag.

  “It’s slow up here tonight.” The nurse smiled compassionately at Corinne. “You’re more than welcome to keep her here with you.”

  Corinne squeezed her eyes tight. “I’d like that.”

  Stella felt torn. “Do you think she’ll get bored?” But if Corinne needed her daughter with her…

  Corinne brightened. “She’s got her backpack with her, I’d bet her i-Pad’s in there along with anything else she’ll need.” She glanced down at the sleeping child and brushed a few strands of hair from her face. “We’ll be fine, Stella.”

  “If you’re sure…?” Stella addressed the nurse this time.

  “She’ll be just fine. Don’t you worry about your friend. We’ll let her be with her mama tonight.”

  Stella rose from her chair slowly. “I suppose I’d better get on the road then.” She didn’t want to have to traverse the dirt road in the dark.

  Corinne reached out and grasped her hand. “Thank you, Stella. I can’t begin to tell you how much your being here means to me.”

  “Thank you for letting me come. I love you two, you know.”

  “I know.”

  The problem with driving was that it gave you time to think. Stella didn’t want to think. Everything she found herself thinking about made her want to cry. She tried turning on the radio, listening to the music, but that didn’t help much either.

  Breathe, Stella. Breathe.

  The drive seemed to take forever so when she finally passed Elk Canyon, where her car had been stored, she let out a sigh of relief. At least the sun hadn’t set yet. She’d never find the turn in the dark. Scanning the road ahead in the waning daylight, Stella cursed Peyton under her breath. To just run off like that…

  When she passed an unfamiliar building, her anger spiked again. She must have passed it! After turning around and doubling back two more times, she finally spied the road on the left. At last, something went right.

  And yet another victory, when twenty minutes down the bumpy dirt road, the house and barn came into view. Her heart dropped though. Peyton wasn’t here. She didn’t want to worry about him. She was angry with him, dammit!