by LP Lovell
On a shaky breath, I lift my hand, hesitating before I place it in his. And he doesn’t pass through me. He grabs hold of me in a way that tells me he’ll never let go.
“I love you too,” I breathe.
8
Rafael
“I love you too.” So sweet, so innocent, so trusting. I won’t make the mistake of neglecting her again. How was I so unaware that I didn’t see her slipping right back down the slope that she’s spent so long climbing up? She was doing so well. I forget what she’s come from sometimes because she’s so damn strong.
To free a slave; it should be simple, but of course, it’s not. It’s not that she doesn’t want her freedom—she simply doesn’t know how to take it. And being here, confined to this house, it’s not helping.
“I’m going to take you somewhere,” I say.
“Where?” She glances at me—her brows pulled together in confusion.
“You choose.” She needs to make choices for herself.
“I thought we were on lockdown?”
“Anna, choose.”
“I don’t even know where we are.”
I sigh. “Just choose, woman. I’ll make it happen.”
She gnaws on her bottom lip. “Anywhere?”
“Anywhere.”
“I miss the pond,” she says. And that’s the beauty of Anna. Give her anything, and she’ll choose something so obscurely simple that it throws you off.
I smile. “I’ll see what I can do.”
I pull the Hummer off the road and onto the rough desert sand. The suspension bounces and jolts as gravel and dust kick up in a cloud behind us. Anna has the window down, her hair blowing in the wind and a pair of sunglasses covering half of her face.
I put my foot down, and the car lurches forward, out into what looks like the middle of nowhere. We climb up a rocky hillside, and I stop at the top.
“Where are we?” she asks.
I cut the engine. “Come and see.” I get out of the car, and she follows, meeting me at the edge of the sheer cliff that drops away below.
“Wow,” she breathes. “It’s beautiful.”
Below is a bowl of sorts, surrounded by circular cliff faces all the way around. And at its center is an oasis. A crystal blue lake, surrounded by greenery. Its such a contrast to the scene behind us that you could almost believe that its a mirage. I want to give her something she’ll never forget, but more than that, I want Anna to have a taste of normal.
“I don’t think many people know about it. My mother once brought my sister and me out here when we were kids. She couldn’t afford to take us to the beach, so this was the next best thing.” I offer her my hand. “Come on. We have to walk from here.”
The walk down the hillside is perilous at best. Anna squeals as she slips on the loose gravel, skidding into my back. “So graceful.”
“Hey. You’d have to be part-goat to get down here.”
By the time we make it to the bottom, she’s so transfixed by the lake that she doesn’t even look at me. At the water’s edge is a small beach, and she drops to a crouch, brushing her fingers over the glassy surface. I tug my shirt over my head and shove my jeans down, kicking them off with my shoes. I wade into the water, and she watches me.
“Are you coming in?”
She glances out at the lake before looking at me again. “Are there things living in there?”
I smirk. “Don’t worry. Nothing will bite you.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
She hesitantly pulls down the straps of her sundress until the material pools at her feet, leaving her in only her underwear. The sun dances over the golden hues of her skin, the reflection of the water shimmering over her features. She’s beautiful.
She carefully walks into the water, staring at it before she takes each step. “Anna, nothing is going to eat you.”
She pushes her sunglasses up on her head and glares at me. Laughing, I walk over to her and grab her, pulling her into deeper water. She shrieks and throws her arms around my neck, wrapping her legs tightly around my hips. Every inch of her is plastered against me, but I’m not sure she’s even noticed. I definitely have.
“I swear something touched me.”
“A lot is touching you right now.”
She rolls her eyes. “Not you.” She glances at the water around us nervously. “Is this what normal people do for fun?”
I snort. “Yeah, I guess so.” She doesn’t look impressed. “You just have to…let go. Fear is irrational. Mind over matter.”
“Mind over matter. Mind over matter.” She slowly releases me and sinks into the water up to her chest. “Okay. Don’t leave me though.” She clutches my arm. “I can’t swim.”
Of course. Why would she be able to swim? “You should add it to your bucket list.”
“What’s a bucket list?”
“It’s a list of things you want to do before you die.”
“Huh.”
“You must have one.” She frowns for a second, and I grab her waist, pulling her closer to me for no other reason than the fact that I like touching her. “Now you’re free, little warrior, what are the things you’d like to do?”
Her eyes meet mine, and she chews on her bottom lip. “I want to go to New Zealand.”
“Okay. Why New Zealand?”
“Why not?” She shrugs. “I found it on the globe, and I don’t even know what language they speak there.”
I smile, stroking her hair away from her neck. “English. What else?”
“I want to dance in the rain. And eat crepes.” Such simple things. She makes me want to hand her the world, just to see the wonder on her face as she explores it. “What about you?” she asks.
I slide a hand up the small of her back to the nape of her neck. “I have everything I want,” I tilt her head to the side and bring my lips to her ear. “Right here.”
“You sure about that?” She cocks a brow, a small smile playing over her lips.
“Very.”
Her arms wind around me, her fingers raking through my hair. “There was one more thing on my bucket list, but I’ve already done it.”
“What’s that?”
She pulls back just enough to look at me. “Fall in love,” she whispers. Her eyes drop to my mouth and then she’s leaning in, placing the sweetest kiss on my lips. She tastes like sunshine and desert sand. She feels like simple happiness; swimming in a lake on a hot day, the skipping of my heart when she flashes me a beautiful smile, and pure unadulterated joy.
This right here in this moment feels precious and unfiltered.
I’ve spent my whole life striving for more. More power. More money. More territory. I’ve never really appreciated anything outside of those things. She’s my pause button, a reminder to breathe. She makes me want to stop and capture the moment with her, to create memories.
Anna Vasiliev is my air in a toxic world.
9
Rafael
I’ve spent two days with Anna, but I can’t avoid the office any longer. Samuel is fussing like a mother hen, and Carlos is convinced World War Three is about to break out on the streets. I have to handle some shit.
“Jimmy got shanked in broad daylight, Rafe!”
I lean back in my chair, lighting my cigar and inhaling. “It’s Juarez, Carlos. People get stabbed all the time.”
He jabs his finger down on my desk. “Not our fucking guys!” Granted, Jimmy was only a gang runner, but with known association to us. That makes a hit on him our problem, and we have to retaliate. Such is the benefit of the gangs working with us. Our name protects them.
Samuel steps forward and places a hand on Carlos’ shoulder. “We’ll deal with it.”
I glance at Sam. “Find out who did it. We’ll make an example.” I don’t like gratuitous violence, but sometimes it’s necessary. I can’t afford any kind of miscommunication at this point. I can still feel Dominges hovering near my ass, waiting to ram himself up there. I fucking know this
shit is on him.
“You need to handle Jimmy’s replacement,” Sam says.
I nod. “Carlos, make some calls. See if anyone knows who took out Jimmy. I’ll go to Juarez today, and sort out the replacement.” They both leave, and I inhale another breath of my cigar before pushing to my feet. I leave the office, aiming to check in with the guards, when I catch Anna and Lucas sneaking around.
I step around the corner of the hallway, straight into their path. Lucas staggers a step, his face going pale. Anna’s eyes widen for a fraction of a second before narrowing.
“Rafael.”
“Avecita.” My eyes rake over her body encased in skin-tight yoga pants and a sports bra. The tanned skin of her stomach begs to be touched, and her tits strain against the fabric of the bra with every breath. When I meet her gaze, she stares back at me almost defiantly. She knows she’s been caught. “Where are you off to?”
“Lucas and I were going to work out.”
“Work out?” She nods. “What kind of workout?” The thought of Lucas doing any kind of up close and personal self-defense training while she’s dressed like that has my pulse ticking up. He and I still need a little chat. I’ve just been too wrapped up in Anna to find the time.
“The usual kind,” she says evasively.
“Is that so?”
She squares her shoulders at me, and I almost smile. My little warrior—getting so feisty. Meanwhile, Lucas is practically crawling into the floorboards as though he’d do anything for the ground to open up and swallow him. He won’t look at me. On a sigh, Anna grabs my arm and drags me toward the office, slamming the door once we’re inside.
“Do you have to terrify Lucas like that?” she says, pressing her back to the door and folding her arms over her chest.
I close the distance and cage her against the wood, plucking at the thick bra strap over her shoulder. “If you wanted to learn to fight so badly, you should have just asked.”
“I did. You gave me a gun.”
I cock a brow. “You don’t have to fight if you shoot them first.”
She thumps her head back against the door. “It’s not about that.”
“So instead of explaining that you so desperately want your ass beaten, you go to the kid?”
“Who told you?” She narrows her eyes. “It was Carlos, wasn’t it? Bastard.”
I laugh. “I know everything that happens in my cartel, avecita.” I place my finger under her chin, forcing her to look at me. “And I know everything that concerns you.”
“So now what?”
“Ask me,” I say. She stills, and I can see her pulse start thrumming at her neck. I lean in, brushing my lips over her artery. “Ask me to teach you.” I kiss the soft skin. Her head tilts to the side, her palms landing on my chest. So sweet. So responsive.
“Teach me to fight, Rafe,” she says, her voice breathy. My cock twitches. I’m not sure if this is the best idea I’ve ever had or the worst kind of torture. Probably both.
“What will you give me in return?” I grab her by the back of her neck and tug her away from the door before spinning her and slamming her chest against it. Her palms land flush to the wood either side of her head. She twists her face, glancing over her shoulder at me. Every perfect inch of her is pressed against me as the scent of her invades my senses.
“Now,” I groan against her ear. “Get away from me.”
“What? I can’t. You’re three times the size of me, Rafe.”
“Tell that to the guy who wants to hurt you, avecita.” She struggles a little, but it’s pathetic really. “Place your hands in front of your chest, and lift your knee until you can get your foot against the door.” She does it. “Now push.” She does, managing to shove me back a few inches before I’m right back against her. “If that doesn’t work, do the same thing, but this time, throw your head back.” She moves again, and I duck to the side as she throws her head back. I allow her to move us away from the door before I wrap both hands around her body, pulling her arms across her chest in a tight hold. “Good.” I kiss her neck and she trembles. “Now, how are you going to get out of this?” She thrashes around, but she has no wall for leverage, and she weighs no more than a rag doll.
After a few minutes, she lets out a frustrated huff. “I can’t.” She sounds so dejected.
“It’s all in the technique. Turn your palms to face down.” She does it. “Good, now thrust your hips back and use every bit of force you have to throw your hands down.” I loosen my hold slightly, and she goes through the movements, breaking my grip. When she turns around, she has the most brilliant smile on her face.
“I did it.”
“Good. I assume Carlos showed you how to get in a crotch shot.” She nods. “He likes that one,” I mumble.
“So now what?”
I lift a brow at her. “You get free, you kick him in the nuts, and you run.”
“Rafael.” She sighs. “I don’t want to run away.”
I lean against my desk and cross my arms over my chest. “What is this about?” She opens her mouth to speak. “And don’t lie to me.” Her mouth slams shut again, and she stares silently at me. “You don’t want to learn to defend yourself—you want to know how to fight. Why?” She folds her arms around herself and drops her chin to her chest. “Come here.” I crook my finger at her, and she hesitantly comes closer. Pulling her between my legs, I brush her hair away from her face. “Why?” I repeat quietly.
Her eyes lock with mine, and she looks so vulnerable. “My sister…”
“Isn’t going to harm you. She’s done a lot to get you back.”
“No. It’s not that.” She shakes her head. “You don’t understand. Una…she was always the strong one.” A small smile touches her lips before it falls. “When we were in the orphanage, they only used to feed us once a day. I used to get such bad stomach cramps, so Una would break into the kitchens at night and steal food. She never ate it herself though. She took enough that they wouldn’t notice—enough for me. And then the matron would sometimes find out. She’d beat Una with a belt until she bled.” She swallows heavily. “She’d just limp back to our room and go out that very night to steal more food.”
“She loved you.”
“She was always the strong one, Rafe. And now she’s this big bad assassin, and I’m still her weak sister. The only thing I’m good for is laying on my back.” In a heartbeat, my pulse spikes, taking my temper right along with it. My hand wraps around her throat, and her eyes go wide as I drag her so close that her rapid breaths blow over my lips.
My teeth grind together so hard that my jaw aches with the effort. “Anna…” Her nails rake over my wrists, and I force myself to loosen my hold just enough that she can breathe. “Please don’t say that.” My voice is a low growl.
“Rafael,” she whispers.
“Are you scared, little warrior?” I ask. I need her to say the words, to snap me from this.
Her eyes drop to my lips before her small hands cup my face, nails scratching over stubble. “Of you? Never,” she breathes. My grip on her throat loosens further, and she leans in, pressing her lips to mine. Pure and innocent. “I’m sorry,” she says against my mouth, and my anger instantly drops to a low simmer.
“You are not a whore, Anna. And you are far from weak. Your sister of all people will see that.” I wind my arms around her small waist, plastering her to my body. She still looks so dejected, and fuck if I’m not completely weak for her. This girl has so much power, and she doesn’t even know it. “But if you really want to learn how to fight, I’ll teach you.”
A small smile pulls at the corner of her lips. “You’d do that?”
“Under one condition.”
“What?”
“If you ever actually get attacked, you shoot, or you run.” She nods. “And I have another condition.”
She narrows her eyes. “You can’t just change the goalposts, Rafe.”
“If I hear you call yourself or reference yourself as a whore ever
again, I’m done.”
Her expression shutters. “Done?”
“No more fighting.” I’d love to tell her that I’d walk away from her—that I’d be done with her. It bothers me that much. But I know it would be a lie. I’d never admit the level of my addiction to anyone, not even her, but I’m hopelessly in love with the broken little warrior. Men like me don’t often become weak, but it’s fitting that one as resilient and strong as her should be my one soft spot. I don’t know any man who could not fall in love with her. She’s infectious. Her lure, magnetic.
“Okay.” Her voice is tentative, unsure. She swipes her hair behind her ear nervously. “When do we start?”
Standing up, I force her back a step as I move away from the desk. “I have to go into the city, so after that.”
“You’re leaving?”
I nod, going to my desk drawer and taking out my colt, checking the clip. “Yeah, I have some shit I have to handle.” She says nothing, and I glance up to find her knotting the bottom of her shirt in her fingers.
“Can I come with you?”
“Anna…” She looks at me with those pleading eyes. “It’s not safe in the city. Dominges still wants you.”
“And my sister, I know.” Una is no longer a problem, but she doesn’t know that.
“And the people who want Una. You’re not coming.” I move around her, and she steps into my path. I cock a brow at her. “My, my, we’re feeling brave today.” She grabs the front of my shirt, tilting her head back to look up at me.
“I just…I think I’m safer with you.”
I groan. She has no idea what it does to me when she says things like that. Such a small, simple thing, but her trust is precious.
“You’re safer in the hilltop fortress surrounded by my men. They’ll protect you.”
She swallows heavily, her eyes shuttering closed for a second before she nods and steps back. When she opens them again all the vulnerability has washed from her features and in its place is a steely coldness. I both hate and respect it. I check my watch and pick up my phone, shooting a text to Samuel.