Never Eat Alone

by Keith Ferrazzi

  Identify the people in your industries who always seem to be out in front, and use all the relationship skills you've acquired to connect with them. Take them to lunch. Read their newsletters. In fact, read everything you can. Online, there are hundreds of individuals distilling information, analyzing it, and making prognostications. These armchair analysts are the eyes and ears of innovation. Now get online and read, read, read. Subscribe to magazines, buy books, and talk to the smartest people you can find. Eventually, all this knowledge will build on itself, and you'll start making connections others aren't.

  2. Ask seemingly stupid questions.

  If you ask questions that are like no other, you get results that are unlike any that the world has seen. How many people have the courage to ask those questions? The answer: all the people responsible for the greatest innovations. "Don't you think having all your MP3s on a little Walkman-like device would be cool?" Thus, the iPod. "Why can't we view our pictures immediately?" Thus, the instant photographic industry. "People sure like burgers and fries. Why not give it to them quickly?" Thus, McDonald's and the fastfood industry.

  The power of innocence in business is wonderfully depicted in a scene from the movie Big, where Tom Hanks plays a kid transformed into an adult. In one poignant moment, Hanks is sitting in on an executive meeting at a major toy company, and one vice president is PowerPointing his way through a presentation about a new toy. All the numbers work. All the graphs point to a successful product launch. And yet Hanks's childlike innocence prompts him to say, "I don't get it." In actually playing with the toy, as he had, all the graphs and numbers didn't matter: The toy simply wasn't fun. Sometimes the numbers do lie. Sometimes all the PowerPoint presentations in the world won't provide cover for a company that has forgotten to ask the most basic of questions.

  For years, the people running the companies that produced games believed they were in the entertainment business. I asked, "What if we're really in the marketing business?"

  3. Know yourself and your talents.

  I had no chance competing with the science geeks at ICI. In developing an expertise that highlighted my strengths, I was able to overcome my weaknesses. The trick is not to work obsessively on the skills and talents you lack, but to focus and cultivate your strengths so that your weaknesses matter less. I'd apply the 80/20 rule in that you should spend some time getting better at your weaknesses but really focus on building your strengths.

  4. Always learn.

  You have to learn more to earn more. All content-creators are readers or at least deep questioners or conversationalists. They're also sticklers when it comes to self-development. Your program of self-development should include reading books and magazines, listening to educational tapes, attending three to five conferences a year, taking a course or two, and developing relationships with the leaders in your field.

  5. Stay healthy.

  Research has discovered that at midafternoon, due to sleep deprivation, the average corporate executive today has the alertness level of a seventy-year-old. You think that executive is being creative or connecting the dots? Not a chance. Sounds hokey, but you have to take care of yourself—your body, mind, and spirit—to be at your best. As hectic as my schedule can get, I never miss a workout (five times a week). I try to take a five-day vacation every other month (I do check e-mails and catch up on reading). I go on a spirituality retreat once a month, even if it's a one-day local meditation retreat. And I do something spiritual each week—usually church. That gives me energy to allow me to keep my otherwise twenty-four-hour schedule.

  6. Expose yourself to unusual experiences.

  When management guru Peter Drucker was asked for one thing that would make a person better in business, he responded, "Learn to play the violin." Different experiences give rise to different tools. Find out what your kids are interested in and why. Stimulate your creativity. Learn about things that are out of the mainstream. Travel to weird and exotic places. Knowing one's own industry and one's native markets is not enough to compete in the future. Take a deep and boundless curiosity about things outside your own profession and comfort zone.

  7. Don't get discouraged.

  My first e-mail to the CEO of ICI regarding TQM was never returned. To this day, I face rejection on a regular basis. If you're going to be creative, cutting edge, out of the mainstream, you'd better get used to rockin' the boat. And guess what—when you're rockin' the boat, there will always be people who will try and push you off. That's the bet you have to take. Deeply committed professionals need to know the score: Passion keeps you going through the rough times come hell or high water, and both will come. There will be continual changes and challenges requiring you to be persistent and committed. Focus on the results and keep your eyes open for what is happening on the edges of your industry.

  8. Know the new technology.

  No industry moves quicker or places more emphasis on innovation. You don't need to be a "techno geek," but you do need to understand the impact of technology on your business and be able to leverage it to your benefit. Adopt a techno geek, or at least hire or sire one.

  9. Develop a niche.

  Successful small businesses that gain renown establish themselves within a carefully selected market niche that they can realistically hope to dominate. Individuals can do the same thing. Think of several areas where your company underperforms and choose to focus on the one area that is least attended to.

  A former mentee of mine, for example, works for a growing start-up that offers a new kind of pet product. Not long after he was hired, he noted that one of the countless issues the start-up was struggling with was pricey postal rates that were cutting into the company's margins. Frankly, that's not the kind of issue that registers very high up on the totem pole of priorities for a startup, but then again, this mentee wasn't very high up either.

  He took it upon himself to research the problem by calling the official responsible for small business at UPS, FedEx, and others. A few weeks later, he sent a detailed memo to the CEO about how the company could reduce its postal costs. The CEO was delighted. The mentee's niche expertise in mail branded the young man as a valuable up-and-comer in the company, and these days, he's developing expertise in issues much farther up the totem pole.

  10. Follow the money.

  Creativity is worthless if it can't be applied. The bottom line for your content has to be: This will make us more money. The lifeblood of any company is sales and cash flow. All great ideas are meaningless in business until someone pays for it.

  CONNECTORS' HALL OF FAME PROFILE D a l a i L a m a

  "Use your content to tell stones that move people."

  Known as a world leader, holy man, diplomat, hero, and the Tibetan G h a n d i , the Dalai Lama simply prefers to be recognized as "a simple Buddhist monk—no more, no less."

  On his great ascent toward wo r ld renown ever since his escape from his homeland in Tibet—fleeing the occupying armies of China in the late 1950s—this unique national figure has captured the public imagination, raised millions of dollars, and rallied celebrities, politicians, and laymen alike to his cause of reclaiming his homeland.

  W h a t can the aspiring connector learn from this deeply modest man?

  The answer: Powerful content communicated in a compelling story can energize your network to help you achieve your mission.

  Because here's the thing with the spiritual leader of the Tibetan people: Folks give him money, love, and support even though he's peddling neither product nor service. Folks pay him, big time, even though he makes no promises about a bountiful return on investment. Folks pay just to hear him speak about life in general, or the struggles of Tibet, his non-nation nation.

  You may have thought that a degree in business, or better yet an MBA, was needed to become a leader or person with content. Not true. The Dalai Lama doesn't have a single degree. He does, however, deliver a simple but profound message of wo r ld peace and compassion packaged in colorful stories and ane
cdotes—a message that earned him the Nobel Peace Prize in 1 9 8 9 .

  N o w you might be thinking: " W a i t a minute. There's no w a y you can compare my white-collar pursuit to connect—and the stories I'd be telling to w i n friends and influence people—to the stories that the Dalai Lama has to share. I eat three meals a day. He's been without a country since the Fifties."

  And you'd be correct. Your story won't be as compelling as his. But your storyte///ng can be. Here's how:

  In telling a gripping story, the Dalai Lama understands that the message must be both simple and universal. Journalist Chris Colin, in speculating w h y the Dalai Lama's cause is so popular, wrote, "Perhaps the clarity of the atrocity resonates in the West, where few international disputes seem so cut and dried . . . Here, in a nation nostalgic for the seemingly black-and-white struggles of the comparatively simpler past, the 'Free Tibet' cause has w i n g s . "

  Though he is one of the most learned scholars of one of the most complex of all the world's philosophies, the Dalai Lama is sure not only to present his cause in a clear, simple-to-understand vision, but he also goes to great lengths to show how the cause relates to us all.

  The most gripping stories are those concerning identity—who we are, where we've come from, and where we are g o i n g . They tap into something common to all people. The Dalai Lama tells us that to be concerned with the Tibetan people is to be concerned with yourself. "The more we care for the happiness of others," he says, "the greater our own sense of well-being becomes." In this way, he shows how the basic concerns of all people—happiness based on contentment, appeasement of suffering, and the forging of meaningful relationships—can act as the foundation for universal ethics in today's w o r l d . Thus, he appeals to his cause by appealing to everyone's cause.

  That doesn't mean your business, your resume, or whatever content you're trying to pitch has to actually be oversimplified or overly universal. But you should figure out how to spin your yarn in a fashion that a) is simple to understand, and b) everybody can relate to. Another w a y to think about this is to ask yourself, " H o w does my content help others answer w h o they are, where they are from, and where they are going?"

  On some level, it's still baffling w h y anyone gives money to the Tibetan cause. For the Tibetan cause, arguably, is a lost one; after four decades, China still shows no signs of reversing itself.

  And still, the Dalai Lama persuades people to donate their money and energy. How does he do it? One thing he does is use facts and historical examples within his stories to stoke our passions. He does not, as a businessperson might do with graphs and analysis, attempt to logically convince us of his position. He makes us feel his position. For example, check out this Q & A , from a 1 9 9 7 interview in Mother Jones:

  Q: W h a t do you think it will take for China to change its policy toward Tibet?

  Dalai Lama: It will take two things: first, a Chinese leadership that looks forward instead of b a c k w a r d , that looks toward integration with the world and cares about both wo r ld opinion and the will of [China's] own democracy movement; second, a group of world leaders that listens to the concerns of their own people with regard to Tibet, and speaks firmly to the Chinese about the urgent need of working out a solution based on truth and justice. We do not have these two things today, and so the process of bringing peace to Tibet is stalled. But we must not lose our trust in the power of truth. Everything is always changing in the w o r l d . Look at South Africa, the former Soviet Union, and the M i d d l e East. They still have many problems, setbacks as well as breakthroughs, but basically changes have happened that were considered unthinkable a decade ago.

  What truly moves us as human beings, what prompts us into action, is emotion. Despite the odds, the Dalai Lama makes us believe that the seemingly impossible is, in fact, possible. In your own stories, use emotion to convince your doubters that underdogs sometimes win and Goliaths sometimes crumble.

  Follow the example of this simple Buddhist monk who channels his charm and warmth into compelling stories that energize a diverse swath of people into action. In this new era of brands, in an economy that values emotions over numbers, storytellers will have the edge. As Michael Hattersley wrote in a Harvard Business Review article, "Too often, we make the mistake of thinking of business as a matter of pure rational calculation, something that in a few years computers will handle better than humans. One hears this in conference room and corridor: 'What do the numbers indicate?" Just give me the facts."Let's weigh the evidence and make the right decision.'And yet, truth to tell, few talents are more important to managerial success than knowing how to tell a good story."

  So forget bullet points and slide shows. When you've figured out what your content is, tell an inspiring story that will propel your friends and associates into action with spirit and fearlessness, motivated and mobilized by your simple but profound storytelling.

  23. Build Your Brand

  Regardless of age, regardless of position, regardless of the business we happen to be in, all of us need to understand the importance of branding. We are CEOs of our own companies: Me Inc. To be in business today, our most important job is to be head marketer for the brand called You.

  — TOM PETERS

  As a marketing professional, I'm keenly aware that perception drives reality and that we are all, in some sense, brands. I know how all my choices—what I wear, my conversational style, my hobbies—fashion a distinctive identity.

  Image and identity have become increasingly important in our new economic order. With the digital sea swelling in sameness and overwhelmed in information, a powerful brand—built not on a product but on a personal message—has become a competitive advantage.

  Your content will become the guiding star of your brand, helping to integrate all your connecting efforts around a uniform and powerful mission. Good personal brands do three highly significant things for your network of contacts: They provide a credible, distinctive, and trustworthy identity. They project a compelling message. They attract more and more people to you and your cause, as you'll stand out in an increasing cluttered world. As a result, you will find it easier than ever to win new friends and have more of a say in what you do and where you work.

  If I were to say, "Swoosh," what comes to mind? I'd be shocked if most people didn't respond, "Nike." After exposing consumers to the Nike swoosh for two decades, and infusing the symbol with all the athletic grandeur we now associate with the symbol, the company has trained us to think "Nike" whenever we see that simple little symbol.

  Powerful stuff, don't you think?

  Within a network, your brand can do something similar. It establishes your worth. It takes your mission and content and broadcasts it to the world. It articulates what you have to offer, why you're unique, and gives a distinct reason for others to connect with you.

  Branding guru and all-star business consultant Tom Peters instructs in his customary bravado to "create your own microequivalent of the Nike swoosh." He wants to bring Madison Avenue to your cubicle, holding out the branding success of Michael Jordan and Oprah Winfrey as a template for every Willy Lohman wanting to become Willy Gates.

  How have we gone from pitching products to pitching ourselves?

  Peters insists that we live in a "World Turned Upside Down." The conventions of the past are meaningless. Rules are irrelevant. The lines have blurred between new and old economy, Hollywood, huge corporations, and simply huge incorporated individuals.

  It's what Peters calls the "white-collar revolution." A confluence of factors—including a streamlining of business processes, technology that replaces jobs, an increase in outsourcing to foreign countries, and an age of entrepreneurialism where more and more people see themselves as free agents—are combining in such a way that Peters predicts over 90 percent of all white-collar jobs will be radically different or won't exist at all in ten to fifteen years. He says, "You must think of your job, your department, your division as a self-contained'Inc.'You must do WOW
projects."

  In terms of branding, then, the bottom line for everyone comes down to a choice: to be distinct or extinct.

  "I'm sick to death of hearing, 'I'd like to, but they won't let me,'" Peters preaches, hitting his iconoclastic stride. "Be the CEO of your own life. Raise hell. Let the chips fall where they may. It'll never be easier to change jobs than it is today." Yes! Yes! Yes!

  Few things infuriate me more than when people say they're helpless, or even indifferent, to distinguishing themselves from their peers and colleagues. I remember giving advice to an extremely smart young guy named Kevin, who was working at the consultancy PriceWaterhouseCoopers. In the course of our discussion, he told me he wasn't happy with what he was doing or how his career was playing out. He was, he told me, just another anonymous number cruncher with no alternatives given the staid environment there.

  "Wrong!" I told him. "You have alternatives, you're just not creating them for yourself. You have to start taking ownership of managing your career. You have to start making an effort to change your brand from anonymous number cruncher to slightly famous difference maker."

  When I made some suggestions on how he might go about doing this, he said, "That sort of thing can't be done at a big consulting company." I thought my head was going to explode. I think he probably thought so, too.