Misguided Truths: Part Two (Misjudged #4)

by Sarah Elizabeth

  “I wasn’t sure if you’d come,” I say when I look back out over the water. Surely if she came here then she didn’t listen to a damn word that douchebag said about me. Or, maybe she just came to laugh at me some more.

  “I wasn’t sure if I was going to either, until about thirty minutes ago,” she answers, and I notice her take a couple more steps closer to me. I take a deep breath to steady my nerves, and look into the sky. The rain’s starting to get a little heavier. Alright, here goes.

  “Well, I’m glad you’re here, Alexis,” I tell her as I turn around to face her, and then see the expression over her face. How can someone who plays games like she does look so innocent and, I dunno, sweet? Her big brown eyes are staring directly into mine, and she seems nervous. “Here, I got you this.” I grab the paper cup from off of the wall, and offer it over to her. I see her eyes widen as I place it in her hand, and then notice her starting to narrow them on me, like she’s planning to throw the contents right over me or something.

  “How did you know I like these?” Okay, maybe I was worrying over nothing in that respect. She looks more taken aback than anything, so I’m happy to say that I don’t think she’s remotely interested in causing me any pain here.

  “You had one in your hand yesterday when I asked to talk to you. It’s a kinda peace offering.” I try and give her a small smile while placing my hands into the front of my pants’ pockets again. She looks confused, and I guess I need to explain in a little more detail. “For not being able to beat the shit outta that asshole for the things he said to you yesterday.”

  “You were angry with Matt for the things he said about me?” Matt? Name noted. I watch her lift the drink to her lips, and when she’s taken a sip, I see a smile starting to form over her mouth.

  I start grinning when she lets out a small moan of satisfaction, “Good?” I ask, and I feel my dick starting to twitch in my pants again from hearing that sound. It’s the same contented one that left her lips when she was— oh shit. No. This is not good. Not good at all. Pinocchio, calm down. It’s not gonna happen.

  “Why did you ask me to come?”

  It takes me a second to grasp what she means by this because my thoughts were just a second ago consumed with images of her reaching her peak, and so obviously I was thinking about other ways I could’ve asked her to come. That’s not what she means, though. I know this. “I saw the look on your face before I walked away yesterday, and I didn’t want you to judge me on what other people are saying.”

  “Why does it matter what I think anyway?” I’ve been asking myself that very same thing. “Do you ask all the girls you—?”

  “This is different,” I say, my lips tightening into a tight line. She really has no idea what she did to me on Friday night, does she? She doesn’t understand that she’s made things a whole lot more difficult for me. I’d never fully understood what people meant when they said about experiencing both pain and pleasure simultaneously before. But, I do now. She made me feel both. “You know, I almost didn’t come here, either.” I let out a sigh, and walk slowly away from her and over to sit by the small building just a few yards away. The rain’s starting to come down a little heavier now, and the wind’s beginning to pick up.

  She follows me over and takes a seat beside me. When I notice that she’s shivering, I shake my head and unzip my jacket. It was my idea to meet here after all, and the last thing I want is for her to get sick. I really don’t wanna have to feel guilty about that on top of everything else. Once I’ve shrugged out of my jacket, I reach over and wrap it around her shoulders.

  “No, I’m fine,” she shakes her head, and tries to hand it back to me, but I throw her a glare to show her that I’m not gonna listen to her on this. “Thanks.” She whispers. Good, at least we can agree on something. I nod and turn back away. There’s one thing that I wasn’t gonna mention, but I’ve gotta. I can’t not know or it’s gonna drive my fucking insane.

  “Alexis, I saw you and James kissing earlier today … You looked really into it, and I …” No. This really isn’t any of my business. Why do I need to know if she’s with him? Why do I feel like I’m being punched in the gut every time I think about her being with somebody else; with anybody else but me? It’s just because she made you feel something again. It’s not her. She’s not Holly.

  “What?”

  I shake my head, and rake both of my hands through my hair, “Shit! This wasn’t supposed to fucking happen!” I can’t control it. It’s … I need to let this go. I know I do. I stand and start pacing the small pathway in front of the building. “You looked the same as you did when you and I—”

  “We were practicing for our upcoming audition. It wasn’t like we were kissing for real or anything.” It wasn’t for real? But, I don’t understand. So, she’s not seeing him? She’s not with anybody? Stop this. Stop now. Do you really wanna be showing her how much she’s already managed to get under your skin?

  “Look, forget it … I shouldn’t have asked you to come.” I need to get outta here. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not now. Not ever. I make my way past her, and head toward the opening by the fence.

  “Brandon, it didn’t mean anything.” She sounds genuine, but it’s too late. I can’t be here. I can’t do this with her. It’s not fair … on any of us.

  “And there are those words again …” I mutter under my breath. I thought the other night didn’t mean anything, but apparently, it did.

  “What wasn’t supposed to happen?” I stop walking any further when I hear her ask this from just behind me. She’s not gonna give up. Not until I explain, but there’s no way in hell I’m telling her anything else.

  “This!” I uncontrollably snap out, waving my hand between the two of us. “I wanted us to be friends, but, I’m not sure if that’s such a good idea now.” How am I supposed to be friends with her when I know deep down that I’m gonna want more than that? I should’ve seen this coming. I know I should’ve.

  She walks slowly toward me, but she really needs to be keeping her distance. Her eyes are roving over me, and I know what she’s doing. She’s looking at me in the same way she did at the ball.

  “Have you finished checking me out yet?” I ask, because she’s in no way making it a secret. She’s looking at me in the same way she did on Friday. When she brings her eyes back to meet with mine, I see it again. No. Don’t encourage this, beautiful. Don’t look at me like anything could ever happen between us again. “I should go—”

  “But I’m not done yet,” she says, and steps forward a little more. When she’s standing right in front of me, she lifts her gaze back to mine. “How was this different?” Her eyes are now searching my face, and I don’t think I can look at her anymore without admitting everything I’m thinking and feeling. Yeah, I need to look away.

  I close my eyes and count to ten, but all I see is me and her … together.

  Beyond frustrated now, I reopen them to see that she’s still watching me, “I almost lost James as my partner today. He wanted to ditch me because I lacked passion.” There’s no way in hell she expects me to believe this does she? Alexis lacks passion? Not a fucking chance. I’ve experienced her kinda passion first hand, and she was definitely not lacking in that area.

  “You looked as though you had plenty of passion when you kissed him,” I tell her, because she did. She seemed to enjoy every goddamn second that she was in his arms. I think that I now understand what the feeling I felt was, when I saw them together. I’ve only ever felt it once before, and that was when I saw Holly speaking to some guy from her class one time before we got together. Yep. Jealousy. I was jealous that I wasn’t him.

  She stands on her tiptoes, leaning up to whisper in my ear, “That’s because I was thinking of you the whole time.”

  She really didn’t need to tell me this. That’s something I really didn’t wanna hear, “You … telling me this … it makes this entire situation a whole lot harder, Alexis.” I need her to understand that she’s gotta sta
y away. When she starts running her fingers along my jaw, I have to close my eyes. It’s too tempting. She’s too tempting. “I wish that—”

  “You felt it too, didn’t you?” And there it is. I clench my eyes shut, and lift my hands up to rest on my waist. If I was to leave them where they were then the likelihood of me grabbing a hold of her would’ve been inevitable. I can’t deny it anymore. She knows that I did, and I know that I loved every fucking second that I was with her. I nod slowly when I reopen my eyes, but I have to look away when I see her smiling again.

  “Fine. I felt it. Is that what you wanted to hear?” I speak quietly, but because of these new feelings of guilt spreading through me and seeing Holly’s face seeping into my mind again, well, it's getting too much for me to possibly handle. Is she happy now? Has she not tormented me enough already? “Do you feel better now, Alexis? To know that I want you, but I can never fucking have you!” I notice her flinch away from my outburst, and all I wanna do is wrap my arms around her and apologize. I wanna say that I’m sorry for what I just said. I wanna apologize for walking over to her that night in the first place. Why did I have to bring her into any of this? My life is one fucked up mess, and she doesn’t belong in it.

  “Why can’t you have me?” Why can’t she let this drop? Does she want me? Does she really fucking want me that bad? Why? Why me?

  “Fine!” I spit out, scoop her up by the waist, not setting her back on her feet until I’ve carried her underneath the shelter of the small building. But, then it’s too hard to step back away from her. I take a hold of both of her hands in one of mine, and lift them above her head while resting my other against the wall behind her. “Do you want me, Alexis?” She needs to answer me. She has to tell me to walk away because I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to fight against this anymore.

  Her whole body is shaking, and she’s starting to look scared. I just did that to her. Me. I snapped, and I’ve pushed this way too far. I only wanted to make her realize that she doesn’t even know me. How can she want me so badly when she doesn’t know anything about me or my life before I moved here? “Brandon …you’re scaring me.”

  I instantly let go of her hands and step away. Her words. She’s even thinking the same things as I am, and she’s looking at me now in a completely different way than she was a few minutes ago. It’s time to go. It’s time to leave this well alone, “Then now you know how I feel.” I say, and back away some more before turning around, and walking back up toward campus.

  It was a mistake asking her to meet with me. A huge fucking mistake.

  ***

  “What else did she tell you?” I lean forward in my seat, but keep my fists clenched underneath the table. I really don’t wanna let it be known how pissed I am at the fact she said something.

  “That was it,” he answers with a shrug of his shoulders. “Why? Is there something else I should know about?” He rests his arms on the table while narrowing his gaze on me.

  “Yo! Neil! Come give us a hand over here, will ya?” Perfect timing, Rye. Perfectly timed.

  As it turns out, Alexis saw me way before I met with her down by the lake. I didn’t think anybody was around when I met with Brad, but Neil’s been quizzing me for the past fifteen minutes over what she supposedly thinks she saw. Well, she’s wrong. Yeah, you’ve guessed it. She asked Neil if I was a dealer. I didn’t think she’d listened to a goddamn word that came out of that Matt guy’s mouth, but, I guess I was wrong. Why else would she go running straight to her friends, to my friends, shouting her mouth off?

  I bumped into Rye and Neil on my way back through the campus, right after I left her. They wouldn’t take no for an answer, and that’s why I’m here now. In a bar across the city when the only place I really wanna be is back at my dorm, or with Holly. Any place would be better than being here.

  From the surprised look over his face when I asked him what else she’d told him about me, I suppose I should be feeling a little relieved. It doesn’t seem like she’s told him about what happened between the two of us last week.

  Honestly, though? I suppose I should be thanking her. Now that Neil and Rye both know why I’m here in Seattle, well, they’ve offered to help me. You know what? I didn’t want anybody else to know what’s going on, but I trust them. They’re like my brothers. Always have been, and always will be. I can’t go back to Olympia, at least, not for information. Visiting Rach and her parents is one thing, but I can’t go back there to meet with the people who could potentially help me in the long run. It would be game over if I were seen out there by the wrong people.

  Both Rye and Neil’s parents still live back in Olympia, and they told me they go back there quite regularly to visit home. They’ve offered to go out there if I need them to pick anything up for me. Getting them to do this will most definitely help, but I don’t wanna be asking them unless I really have to.

  “Well, if it isn’t pretty boy!” Great, this is all I fucking need. “And I was just thinking to myself what a safe and fun establishment this is. Maybe I should go and let the owners know what kind of people they’re allowing in here these days. Surely it can’t be good for business if they’re letting scum like you through the front door.”

  I keep my eyes focused ahead. He’s waiting for a reaction, that’s pretty obvious, but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna give him what he wants. Neil, Rye, and their buddy Corey, are heading back over, and I can already see the frown over Neil’s face when he notices who’s standing by the left side of the table.

  “Is everything alright, man?” I raise my head when I hear Rye speak, and nod once when they come back and take their seats. Is everything alright? Sure, why wouldn’t it be? I mean, yeah, I’d like to know what this guy’s fucking problem is, but apart from that, nothing he says or does to me is gonna get me riled. I’ve been face to face with guys much worse than him before now. He doesn’t scare me. I mean, who the fuck is he anyways?

  Neil slides one of the beers over the table to me, and I watch that Matt dude skulk back to wherever the hell it was that he came from, “What did he want?” Rye asks with a quizzical look in his eyes. He’s looking puzzled. Yeah, well, so the hell am I.

  “No idea,” I answer while turning in my seat a little more. “Do you know him?”

  “Everybody around here knows that douche,” I notice Neil twist in his seat as he answers, and he’s practically throwing daggers with his eyes over to the bar. “He used to date Alex.”

  “Are you kidding me?” I instantly sit up straighter in my seat, and I’m damn sure that I’ve let something unwillingly slip from the way I just reacted. Neil’s narrowing his eyes my way again while Rye sits back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest while raising his eyebrows up high. “I mean he just doesn’t seem her type …” I grab my beer, and take a large sip from the bottle, focusing my eyes on anything but the two of them.

  “They dated for around a month, right up until she caught the asshole cheating on her with Lisa over there.” Rye motions behind him with the flick of his hand without bothering to turn around.

  Right. So, he screwed up and obviously didn’t appreciate seeing me that close to Alexis. Yeah, I think I just figured out what the hell his problem is. Well, it’s not my fucking fault he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. My eyes rest on the black haired woman standing beside him by the bar. Talk about taking a downgrade. That chick has nothing on Alexis. Nothing at all. Okay, so she’s not exactly unattractive, but appearance wise, they’re nothing alike.

  Alexis’ hair is brown, soft, a little wavy, and goes way past her shoulders. She has the most incredible pair of dark brown eyes you could ever imagine, her slight tan is glowing, and she has curves in all the places a guy wants them to be. That chick over there? Well, her blood red lipstick is kinda distracting, if not a little disturbing. Her skin is whiter than white, and her hair black, I guess you could say the same color as mine. She’s attractive if you’re into that kinda thing, but if she’s seeing a guy like that a
sshole over there then personality wise, I think she’ll most likely be lacking some.

  “Hey, do you guys want another beer?” I ask them as I stand, grabbing my wallet from the back pocket of my pants. I smile when Rye throws me a wink, and Neil gives me a nod. Three beers it is then.

  This place is pretty busy for a weeknight, but I don’t have to wait long for somebody to come over and take my order, “What can I get for ya?” The blonde haired woman asks as she leans forward, resting her elbows on the top of the bar, her chin placed in her hands.

  “Three beers, please,” I say, and grab a few dollar bills from out of the center pocket. When I look back up, she’s in the same position she was before I placed my order with her. I notice a smile crossing over her mouth. Is she waiting for me to order something else? “That’s all. Just three beers.”

  “I haven’t seen you in here before,” she’s pressing herself up even closer in my direction, and then I realize what it is that she’s trying to do here. Yeah, she’s showing me her cleavage, in pretty much all of its glory. “I’m Saff.”

  “Yeah? Well … I’m parched.” Not happening, sweetheart. Not a chance. She steps back, her eyes become dull, and her lips tighten as she goes to grab our drinks.

  Once I’ve paid and grabbed the bottles from off of the bar, I go to turn around but bump straight into someone, which knocks me off balance a little bit. Yep. I just managed to spill most of the contents of all three bottles down my shirt and all over the floor, “Oh, I’m sorry.” Yeah, she sure doesn’t sound or look sorry. I shake my head, and go to take a step around her. “Hey, I said I was sorry.” She grabs a hold of my arm, and God only knows what I’m gonna catch from the contact.

  “And I’m sure you meant every damn word.” I smirk, shrugging her hand away from me.

  “Hey!” Please. Really? I close my eyes for a split second, and don’t bother to respond. But, before I even have a chance to place what’s left of the drinks down on our table, somebody grabs my shoulder from behind me. I think I can already guess who it is without even having to turn back around. I’m beginning to wonder if his little princess back there has any idea that her boyfriend’s still hung up on Alexis. That could be an interesting scenario to watch.