“Are you going to apologize to the lady or what?” Huh.
Well, am I? Alright, let’s get this over with so I can try and go back to having a quiet drink with my friends. I slowly turn around, and see that he’s only a couple of inches away from me, “The lady? I don’t see no lady.” Oh, come on. You would’ve said the exact same thing if you were in my position right now. I briefly glance to his side, and snicker at the scowl that’s firmly stretching over her face. “Oh, I sure hope I didn’t offend anybody.” I can hear both Rye and Neil trying to contain their amusement, and then notice them coming over to stand behind me.
“You wait,” he tells me as he lifts his hand, pressing his index finger right into my chest. Is he threatening me now? “I’m going to make sure that everybody within a fifty mile radius knows what you did … murderer!”
“Oh, yeah?” I don’t know why I’m entertaining this, but the bored tone within my voice is pretty evident, and I can actually see just how much I’m starting to piss him off. “Well, good luck with that.” I lift my chin higher, and notice his eyes are now beginning to shine. I’m really trying my hardest not to make it obvious of how much I really wanna slam my fist straight into his face, but it’s pretty hard when people say shit like that. They don’t understand anything. They hear the rumors and they somehow automatically assume it’s the truth.
He takes a step forward, and I can feel my patience finally starting to wear thin. His face is only two inches away from mine now, and I sure as hell don’t like it when my personal space is invaded. We’re having a stare off, and I can already sense that he’s not the type of guy who’s gonna back down. People around the place are beginning to stare, and the security up ahead are watching us closely, I can see they are.
I take a deep breath, and start shaking my head just as he presses his hands flat on my chest, pushing me backward. Should I retaliate? Yes. Will I? No. Anyone who’s watching this will be able to see that me doing so will only be playing into his hands, and I’m not gonna give him the satisfaction. He’s not the first narrow-minded person I’ve crossed paths with in my life, and I’m most certainly sure that he’s not gonna be the last.
“Come on, tough guy!” He pushes me backward again, and I take another step back. He’s not gonna beat me. Not a chance. He’s begging for me to throw the first punch, but it’s not gonna happen, and soon enough he’s gonna realize that this is the case.
“Back the fuck off, Matt.” Rye steps in, and Matt moves his hands off of me, but this seems to only anger him more.
“Rye, don’t get involved,” I tell him, and move his arm back away from the asshole. “He can do and say whatever the hell he wants. I’m not here to cause any trouble.” Rye seems to be listening to me, and I take a deep breath before focusing my attention back on Matt. “Now, if you don’t mind then I’m gonna go back to my seat with my friends here, and pretend that none of this shit happened, alright? I’m not looking for any trouble tonight, or any other night.”
It’s obvious that he’s angry, but he appears to be accepting that he’s not gonna get a fight out of me today. He turns around, and wraps his arm around that Lisa chick’s waist before they start to head away.
“Shit, man. I would’ve sparked that—”
“Oh, hey! One more thing,” I close my eyes when I see him head back over. “Could you tell Alex that I said hi when you’re next trying to take her against a wall?”
“What’s he talking about?” Neil’s eyebrows furrow, and I can see that he’s starting to clench his jaw.
My eyes dart between the three of them before I see Rye opening his mouth up to speak, “Neil? Meet Mr. Operation Orgasm.” Rye speaks quietly while pointing right at me. Awesome. Just fucking awesome.
“You … and … You and Alex?” Neil stutters, and he sure looks angry. See? I told you. The youngest is always protected.
“I wouldn’t worry, Neil. As soon as he realizes what a jumped up frigid little cock tease she is then I doubt that he’ll be trying to smash her pussy for long! Then you’ll have her all to yourself again, huh?”
“What the fuck did you just call her?” No. There’s no way in hell I’m gonna let him speak about her in that way. Well done, motherfucker. You’ve just awoken the beast. “What the fuck gives you the right to speak about her in that way? It’s not my fault you couldn’t see what you had when you were with her.” I lunge forward and grab him by his shirt.
“Oh, hit a nerve did I, pretty boy?” The guys’ friend, Corey, who I haven’t had a chance to speak with yet, grabs a hold of Matt, and I feel hands grabbing at me, trying to pull me off of him. I twist his shirt tighter in my hands. “Go on. Hit me. I dare you!”
I let out a snarl, and ball my right fist, lifting it higher. Oh, it’s gonna feel fucking liberating to actually be the one to wipe that smile away from his face.
“Stop! Man, come on!” Rye steps in front of the two of us just as the security guys approach, and Corey starts to drag Matt away from me. “Just chill the fuck out dude! He’s not worth it. He’s not worth your time.” He adds, placing his hand on my shoulder.
“Did you not hear what he just said about her?” I ask, keeping my eyes firmly trained on the asshole as he’s being dragged toward the main doors, with his girlfriend following right after him.
I need to get outta here. I need to calm the hell down or I’m gonna go after him, I know I am. It takes a lot to get me this worked up, but that jackass managed to push me too far this time. He knew exactly what to say to make me react.
Do I stay here and wait for the two of them to begin their interrogations about Alexis? Or do I leave? Yeah. Yeah, I need to get outta here.
Chapter Six
“Thanks, Rach,” I offer her a tight smile as I reach over to unclip my seatbelt.
I had to get away from Seattle because I needed some time to think and rationalize things. I swore that I wouldn’t ever rise to lowlife scum like him, but I did. I played right into his fucking hands.
Neil and Rye called my cell phone constantly for the best part of a couple of hours after I’d left the bar last night, but maybe that’s because I didn’t tell them I was leaving. When Matt was being dragged out from the building, I knew that I had to get outta there. I didn’t wanna stay and have to explain to the both of them why I reacted the way I did.
I left through the back entrance, and called Rach, asking her to pick me up as soon as I made it outside. If I’d have gone straight back to the campus then the likelihood of me wanting to find his dorm and finish off what he started would’ve been too much of a temptation for me to be able to resist.
Did I tell Rach about what happened? No. No, I didn’t. She knows that if I wanna talk about stuff then I’ll go to her, and she never pushes me for more. She’s the only person I’ve been able to go to for the past year and a half. And, she’s still the only person I’ll go to now. We’ve been through a lot together, and I guess you could say that we’ve both come to rely on each other.
It took me the best part of four hours to calm the fuck back down. It wasn’t what he said about me that got me like that. It was the things he said about her. Yeah, I’m messed up.
“Brandon, I’m here if you ever need to talk. If people are starting to say things about—”
“No, I’m good,” I interrupt her, and lean over to place a kiss on her cheek before opening up the door and stepping onto the sidewalk. “I’ll call you soon.”
“Make sure you do.” She insists before I close the door back up. I watch her drive away, and then head toward the campus gates.
Alexis messaged me early this morning, and to say that I was surprised to hear from her would be an understatement. One of the guys must’ve told her what went down and given her my cell number. Do I mind? No, I guess I don’t.
I didn’t answer the first few times she called. I didn’t even reply to her message, but then I started to feel bad for ignoring her. All she was trying to do was make sure that I was okay. But, when I fi
nally decided to speak with her, the conversation got a little heated, and she started to sound pissed. Really fucking pissed. All I did was tell her that I was sorry. Okay, so maybe I didn’t make it clear to her what I was sorry about, but she just all of a sudden sounded angry, and then I never got a chance to explain before she hung up on me. I wanted to tell her that I was sorry for adding to this. I mean, it seems like she’s had a hard enough time dealing with that asshole harassing her as it is. She didn’t need me to make it any worse for her. Because I’d given him what he so obviously craved, well, I have a feeling that he’s gonna make it a lot harder for her now.
I notice a group of students gathered over on the grass area, and I narrow my eyes as I get closer to them. I stop walking completely when I see they’re watching a couple of— oh shit. This isn’t gonna be good.
Alexis and Matt are having some kinda showdown. He really doesn’t know when to stop, does he? When to leave things the hell alone. I head right toward them, and see him smirking at her in the same way he did at me last night, right before I lost control. Nope. I’m not gonna let this one lie.
I walk up behind Alexis and hear her speaking, actually, she’s pretty much screaming at him. Yep, she doesn’t sound happy at all. Well, I’m not surprised. Why would she be happy if that guy right here has anything to do with anything? “You and Brandon are nothing but fucking assholes and—”
I immediately pause my steps when I hear her say those words. What the fuck did I do now? Alright, so I know we didn’t leave things on the best of terms last night, but …“Alexis?” The surrounding students are throwing each other wide-eyed glances, but I’m choosing in this very moment to ignore them. They’re not important. I keep my eyes fixed on the back of Alexis, and watch as her shoulders slouch low when she hears me say her name. A crowd of people are starting to move away, but most are still watching from afar. “Alexis?” I say again, and reach out, placing my hand on her shoulder, but she immediately shrugs me away before slowly turning around to face me.
Her eyes are red, and her lips are formed in a tight line. She thinks I’m an asshole? I was only trying to be honest. I never meant to upset her. I hadn’t planned on reacting the way I did last night.
I take a step forward, but she moves back. What? She meant what she just said? Wasn't she only saying those things for Matts benefit? Shit. She has the look of hate in her eyes, and they’re aimed directly on me.
“I wish I’d never met you.” Huh. Hearing those words, and watching them leave her lips is making me feel like somebody just threw a hundred daggers my way, and they’re currently sticking right inside my chest. Surely I should be happy that she feels this way toward me. It’d make it a hell of a lot easier to think that I’m the only one who wants more. Damn, and there it is again. She wishes she never met me. Wow. I close my eyes and lower my head. “Stay the hell away from me.” She says flatly, and then walks right by me and away, leaving me standing here on my own, and feeling like the biggest loser in the whole goddamn world.
All I wanted was for her not to want me, but now that she doesn’t? Well, I don’t think I like the idea. I don’t think I like it at all.
***
“Hey, man, what’s up?” Neil asks when he pulls open the main door. It took me a couple of attempts to actually knock, but I’ve gotta see her.
“Is Alexis home?” I slide my hands inside my jacket pockets, and notice frown lines starting to appear over his brow. Yeah, he sure doesn’t seem happy that I’m here to see her. “Come on, man. I just wanna talk to her, that’s all.”
He appears to be thinking something over, but then he steps to the side, “Just remember what we talked about earlier, alright?” He reminds me as he places his hand on my shoulder, stopping me from getting any further inside.
“Yeah,” I nod, and give him a small smile. He nods once before dropping his hand away. “Thanks, bro.”
After I’d arrived back from Rach’s place and heard Alexis say those things, well, I was pretty upset. Did I go to class? No. No, I didn’t. I saw Neil when he was headed back to his building for lunch break, and the two of us grabbed a soda before he had to go back for his afternoon class.
I told him about what happened. I even admitted to him that I like her, but I made it clear that I’m not over Holly. Yeah, it’s been a while since I brought her name up, right? Well, that’s because I’ve seen quite a lot of Alexis. I dunno why, but whenever she’s around me it’s like the life I had before never existed. I forget things. I forget everything because I’m fully focused on her. But, when she not around me? Well, then the guilt rears its ugly head again, and that’s when I vow that I’ll stay away from her, at least, until the next time.
I knock quietly on her bedroom door, and if I’m gonna be completely honest here, I have no idea how this is gonna go. You see, she wouldn’t answer the message I sent to her a little while ago, and I don’t like the fact that she doesn’t wanna be near me. Why can’t I settle with being nothing to her? Well, that’s a fucking good question. But, even I don’t have an answer for that right now. “Come in!”
Alright, here goes.
I peer around the door and see her sitting on her bed. I notice the look over her face, and it’s pretty clear she’s not so happy to see me, “Hey,” I say while taking a cautious step inside her room, just over the threshold. I don’t wanna be going right inside in case she decides to throw something at me. “You didn’t reply, and I’m going out of my mind here, Alexis.”
“I told you to stay away from me, Brandon,” she looks away. “I’m done with playing games.” I take another couple of steps inside, and close the door behind me, not once taking my eyes away from her. Games? She thinks I’m playing a game here? She couldn’t be so far off of the mark if she tried.
“Alexis, I’m not trying to play games with you,” I hate that she thinks that this is what I’m doing. I close my eyes and lean against the back of her door. I think the best thing for me to do here is just ask her. Cut to the chase. Be a man. “Why did you say those things earlier?”
“Why did you lie to me?” When I lied to her? I don’t remember having ever— oh, right. Yeah. Now I do. She has this look in her eyes that’s telling me she’s gonna give me a hard time while I’m in here.
“You mean when I told you I didn’t feel anything?” I inch closer to her bed when she sits up a little straighter, and I’m relieved to see that she hasn’t got a hold of anything in her hands, ready to launch right at me.
“No. I mean when you told me you did feel something. I thought that—”
“Alexis… I need to be straight with you about something,” I take a seat on the edge of her bed, and see her move her feet over, giving me a little more room to sit down. Alright, it’s time to admit everything. Why I went to her in the first place; what I felt then; how I feel now; why I can’t be with her. “Will you let me explain?”
“How about you explain why you went crazy at the bar with Matt, supposedly when it was something to do with me, and then end up in bed with someone else after telling me you felt the same things that I did?”
What? She thinks I was with another woman? No. No, I gotta set her straight here, “Alexis, I haven’t been able to even look at another woman since Friday, never mind touch one!” I breathe out a heavy sigh, and rest my gaze on her blanket.
What I said just now? It’s true. I haven’t been able to think about being with anybody else. Honestly? That chick working in the bar last night could’ve quite easily been in my bed if I’d let her. But, I didn’t. She was similar to the girl who was on the dancing pole a couple of weeks ago. Her body language screamed ‘get your no strings attached meaningless sex here.’ I don’t want that, though. Not now that I know I’m able to feel the same things that I used to feel before.
“So, I didn’t hear a woman asking if you were ready to go to bed last night, and I didn’t see the blonde you followed out the back of the bar the other night? I didn’t see any of those things?” Wow, s
he doesn’t miss a thing, does she? Well, except for the point. So, in her mind she thinks that I’ve been fooling around with Rach and Layla? I physically shudder at the thought. I see Rach as my sister, and Layla as my boss. Nothing else.
“Wow,” I scratch the side of my head before bringing my eyes back on her. “You really have a lot going on in your head right now, don’t you?” That's why she was pissed last night. And there I was, thinking that it had something to do with her ex-boyfriend giving her a hard time. She was jealous. She was upset because she thought I was with somebody else. Should I be feeling ecstatic about this? No. But, I think you know as well as I do that I am. Extremely.
“Brandon, I’m not some naïve little girl! I realize I don’t have nearly as much experience as you so obviously do, but I’ll tell you this now. I will never fall for your bullshit again!”
Tell her. Just tell her, “I used you Alexis, I did. I admit that.” I can hardly speak the words because I’m feeling pretty ashamed that I’ve just admitted this to her. She’s not the kinda girl you can just use for your own sexual gratification, and then walk away when you’re done. I see that now. She’s innocent. Trusting. Beautiful. “But, I never once thought I’d feel the things I did when we kissed, or when I touched you. Hell, I never thought I’d ever feel those things again!” Stop. You’re saying too much. Don’t let her in. You can’t let her get close.
I watch her as she sits forward, crossing her arms over her chest with her eyebrows starting to furrow, “How did you use me? You wouldn’t even let me touch you!” And, now she’s starting to get angry. She really thinks that all guys are like Matt. Alright, so I used to be that guy once, but I know for sure that that’s a part of my life that I’ll never willingly repeat.
Misguided Truths: Part Two (Misjudged #4) Page 8