Misguided Truths: Part Two (Misjudged #4)

by Sarah Elizabeth

  She’s facing the other way, and has no idea that I’m even standing here. Shit. My throat’s getting tighter, and my stomach’s turning itself inside out from being this close to her again.

  “Why?” My brow furrows when I hear her whisper, and then I watch as she places something down on her desk. The necklace. I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have ripped it away the way I did. She didn’t deserve that. She didn’t deserve any of this, but then, neither did I.

  Please forgive me, beautiful.

  She turns around, and I notice her eyes widen when she sees me standing here. Zach was right. Damn I hate it when he’s right. She looks exhausted, and her eyes are red. Seeing her like this makes me wanna grab a hold of her and never ever let her leave my arms again. I need to do something. I need to say something.

  “Beautiful.”

  “Where …? I mean … What …? Is …?” This is the closest we’ve been for what feels like an eternity, but there’s still far too much of a distance between us; separating us. She looks surprised, shocked even. I take cautious steps toward her because when it finally sinks in that I’m here, I’m not entirely sure how she’s gonna react. “You … but you …”

  When I’ve closed the gap and I’m only a couple of inches away from her, I bend my knees until I’m staring directly into her eyes. If I can’t tell her everything tonight then I need to at least try and show her that this is killing me just as much as it is her, “Fuck I’ve missed you.” I lift my hand, and stroke my fingers over her lips, leaning forward until my lips are brushing against hers, but she doesn’t react. Shit. I need her to do something. I need her to do anything but shut me out like this. I rest my forehead against hers, and keep my gaze firmly fixed in her eyes. See me. You know me.

  She parts her lips, and closes her eyes while wrapping her arms around my neck, pressing her body into me. When she slides her tongue inside my mouth and it glides with mine, she grips my hair tight, making the kiss intensify. The relief of knowing that she doesn’t blame me for what’s been happening floods through me, and I tighten my hands around her waist.

  Having her back in my arms is the best feeling in the world. I push myself against her, moving her backward until she’s pressed up against the wall. She drops her hands away from my neck, and reaches for my pants when I go to lift her shirt, stroking my fingers along her waist.

  I grab her hands, and stop her from being able to unfasten my belt because I need to explain. This right here, though I want to, Christ, I really fucking want to, I know I won’t be able to stay with her afterward. It’ll be too risky to be here for longer than a couple of hours, and I don’t want her to think that this is the only reason I’m here.

  When I pull away from her lips, my breaths are heavy, and I notice that she’s just as breathless as I am. I search her eyes, and see a slight sparkle entering them. Yeah, my girl’s still in there. This is what I wanted to see. I needed her to know that I didn’t go anywhere, and I can tell from the way she just kissed me that she already knows this. She sees me. I knew she would.

  She grabs my shirt and pulls me closer, crashing her lips back on mine. I hesitate because I know what’ll happen if I lose control. I need her to hear me out first, “Alexis …” I speak against her lips, she instantly opens her eyes, and now I know that she’s listening. “I don’t think—”

  “I need you, Brandon,” She whispers, taking her hands from out of mine before reaching over to unfasten the buttons on my shirt. Sliding my shirt over my shoulders, she starts tracing her fingers over my chest, lowering them further until she reaches my waistband. Shit, I really wanna show her how much I’ve missed her. When she moves her hand underneath my pants, I can’t control myself any longer.

  “Fuckkkk,” I growl as her hand brushes over my dick, and that’s all it takes for my mouth to be covering hers again. I pin her hands above her head with my left hand, while tracing the fingers from my other down her neck, and over her shirt, pausing when I reach her breasts. I don’t have a lot of time, but there’s no way I’m gonna say no now. Not a chance. Sliding my fingers in-between the buttons of her shirt, I hear the fabric rip, and see her eyes widen when I pull the shirt away from her body. I really hope that wasn’t one of her favorites.

  I take a step back and a moment to admire the view that's right in front of me, because let’s face it, she’s fucking incredible. I keep my eyes boring into hers, and allow my fingers to roam until I’m tugging her skirt up high around her waist. I see her close her eyes when I lean forward and kiss her, while moving her panties to the side. I listen to her quickening breaths when I slip my fingers leisurely over her before slipping one inside, and it’s now that I realize, I’m home. “Damn, I’ve fucking missed you,” I groan against her mouth.

  I smile when I hear her moaning from the way I’m touching her, and move my finger leisurely in and out, each time pressing a little deeper inside, “I love you, Brandon.”

  Those four little words are all it takes for me to completely lose my control, and in this very instant, I slide my finger away and drop my left arm, freeing hers so I can get rid of my pants.

  Sliding my tongue inside her mouth with a little more force this time, I grab her by the waist, and lift her legs up until they’re firmly wrapped around mine. If my breathing wasn’t heavy before then it sure is now. I press her hard up against the wall, and bite down on her bottom lip, while gently slipping myself over her wetness until I’m buried deep inside.

  I want her to feel every damn inch of me, and I thrust myself firmly, but slowly inside, sensing her smile against me. When I feel her tighten around me, a louder moan escapes from those beautiful lips of hers. It’s good, but I think she can do better than that. Much, much better. I wanna hear more of her so I move faster, grasping a hold of her hips even tighter. With her breaths breezing over my neck, I rest my face by her ear, “Fuck!” I growl when I feel her tighten some more, and when she starts digging her nails into my back and her body begins to spasm, I can’t hold it in any longer and empty my load inside her. We’re trembling, and until we’re both able to stand unaided, I stay right where I am, keeping her legs in place around me.

  Looking into each other’s eyes is enough reassurance for the both of us to know that nothing will ever come between us. We don’t need words. Her eyes are brighter than they were when she first saw me in here, and she’s looking at me now with all the love any guy could ever wish for.

  Once I hear her breaths even out, I close my eyes, and then slip myself out from her warmth before setting her back down on her feet.

  And it’s right now, when I’m no longer touching her, that the harsh reality of all of this sets back in. I turn away, and walk over to sit on the bed, raking one hand through my hair while wiping my brow with the other. Laying back, I close my eyes, breathing out a heavy sigh.

  My cell sounding out from across the room disturbs the silence, and I clench my jaw before sitting up, and grabbing my pants from off of the floor.

  Shit. Damn. Fuck. It’s Zach. Not yet, bro. Please not yet.

  “I … Alexis, I need to take this,” I say quietly, but I’m unable to keep the regret from out of my voice. “Do you have some beer or something?” I lift my head, and turn toward her.

  “Sure,” She answers, and I notice her smile beginning to fade before she heads out of the room. This had better be fucking important.

  I wait for her to close the door fully behind her before grudgingly holding my cell up to my ear, “I need more time with her.” I spit through clenched teeth.

  “There’s no more time. We have to go.”

  “Come on, please? Just give me another half hour with her.” He needs to budge this time. He can’t expect for me to come in here and see her for all of, what? Twenty minutes? No, it’s too soon.

  “We can’t risk it, Brandon. You’ve gotta get outta there.”

  Fuck. I know he’s right. That asshole is always fucking right these days, “Alright. Alright, I’ll … I’
ll be there in a couple of minutes.” I admit defeat, and throw my cell phone on the bed before grabbing my shirt from off of the floor. Once I’m dressed, I slip my arms into my jacket just as Alexis walks back in the room, carrying some drinks for the both of us. I just wanted a few more minutes with her, that’s all. Just a few more goddamn minutes.

  “What are you doing?” I notice the worry immediately crossing into her eyes, and seeing her like this is making me feel like I’ve just been sucker punched really fucking hard in the goddamn chest. “You’re leaving?” I can’t do this. It’s too fucking hard. It’s too painful to see her hurting like this. I can’t do it again. I look away and head straight for the door. When I reach for the handle, I pause before turning back around.

  “I never said I could stay, beautiful.” Seeing her lip beginning to tremble is enough to make me turn back around, pull her bedroom door open with a lot more force than what’s really necessary, and head straight toward the main door.

  “Are you fucking with me? Why? What the fuck did I do wrong now?” She doesn’t understand. Always, she always thinks that she’s done something, but for once in her life can she not just accept that things have to be this way for a little while? Did she not feel the same things that I felt when we did those things back there? I haven’t even got the time to explain anything to her. My time has already run out.

  Once I’ve made it halfway across the living area, I pause my steps and take a deep breath. I have to tell her that it’s not her. She needs to know that she’s not to blame for any of this, but I can’t watch her break down. Not again. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” I tell her, and she steps forward until she’s standing right in front of me.

  She cups my face with her hands, and while I’m silently pleading for her not to do it, she makes me look at her, “If I didn’t do anything wrong then why are you so determined to keep on breaking my heart? Why?” Don’t cry. Please don’t do this. Please don’t cry.

  “That’s the last thing I ever wanted, Alexis,” I try my hardest to sound strong, but it doesn’t work. My voice cracks with knowing that I’m hurting her again, even though you and I both know that it’s not by choice, it’s not making any of this any easier to deal with. “I needed to make sure you were okay, and now that I know, I have to go.”

  “You think that I’m okay? Do you think I seem okay? Do I fucking look okay to you Brandon?” She’s screams the words right at me, and I’m really not sure if it’s because she’s angry, or because she’s hurting. I think maybe even possibly both. “You left, without as much as a word. You broke my fucking heart when you left the first time! Please? Please don’t do this again? What can I do? What can I do that’ll make you stay? I love you. I fucking love you!”

  She tries to wrap her arms up around my neck, but I can’t let her. If I do then I’ll never wanna let her go. I take her hands in mine, and lower them down to her sides before backing away some more, “I’m doing this for you … I’m doing this for us.” I tell her in the best way I can. Checking the time, I know that Zach’s gonna be getting pissed if I don’t move faster. “I really have to go.” Believe me, it’s the last thing I wanna do.

  I lean forward, kiss her on the forehead, step around her, and make my way over to the main door, “I’m not one of your whores, Brandon. You can’t just come here, fuck me, and then leave!”

  “You’ve never been just a fuck to me, Alexis,” I swing back around. “Never.”

  “Until now.” This is the exact reason why I tried not to let things go too far back there. “If I mean anything to you, anything at all, then you’ll stay. You’ll tell me why you left and why you have to leave now.” Damn I wish I could fucking stay. She’s right, I’m about to break her heart all over again.

  “Just … just please don’t hate me for what’s happened or for what’s happening. I’m so fucking sorry,” I choke the words through a whisper, turn back around, and step into the hallway. She really has no idea.

  ***

  I keep staring out the window while Zach drives us back toward the cabin. He’s tried to make small talk, but I’m really not in the mood. He seems to think that I’m pissed at him, but I’m not. I’m pissed with myself for not being able to keep my dick in my pants. Instead of making love to her, I should’ve tried to explain. But how the fuck was I supposed to tell her why I’m not with her, or why I’m not sleeping in her bed each night without revealing every little detail?

  You wanna know what else I’m pissed at? When Alexis had fallen asleep during the early hours of that Sunday morning back at the hotel, I’d made a decision. I’d decided that I wasn’t gonna pursue this anymore. I was gonna leave everything in the past. Sure, I wanna know what the hell happened that night. I wanna know who the fuck killed Holly, but Alexis was the one who managed to persuade me not to chase them anymore, though she had no idea about this. You see, she gave me a reason to believe that I could be happy again. Be happy with her. And, I was. This whole thing is just truly fucked up. And, now? Now she thinks that I only saw her as a quick fuck. I wasn’t fucking her back there. That’s not what it was. I was making love to her. I was trying to show her how much she meant to me. How much she still means to me. I dunno, I guess going to see her wasn’t one of the smartest decisions I’ve ever made in my life after all.

  I shake my head, lean back against the seat, and take a deep breath because I feel like I’m gonna hurl at any given moment.

  Zach keeps glancing over in my direction. I can see him through the reflection in the window, and I know what he’s thinking. He’s congratulating himself for being right. He’ll be thinking to himself that I did this to myself, and that he warned me. He warned me not to go and see her, but I didn’t listen. I really should’ve fucking listened.

  Her face. Her beautiful face when she saw I was leaving. I never wanna be the cause for her to look that way again. I’ve done it twice already, but this time, I thought she knew. When I first walked over to her, I didn’t think that she was gonna respond, but when she did, I thought she could read me. I honestly believed that she knew why I was there, and why I couldn’t stay.

  “You coming in or what?” I glance to my left when I hear Zach, and notice that we’re already parked up outside the cabin. “I hate to say it man, but—“

  “Don’t fucking bother,” I snap and jump out the SUV. When I reach the wooden steps, I see Rach looking right at me through the kitchen window. Great. She looks just as happy as I’m feeling right about now.

  I leave the front door open for Zach, but don’t wait for him to follow me inside. I go straight through to Rach, and see that she’s now sitting at the counter with an empty wine glass beside her. “Thank God you’re back.”

  “What the hell’s going on? Rach, you shouldn’t be drinking if you’re gonna be driving back home.”

  “I think I’ll be staying here tonight,” she sighs. She hasn’t stayed here once in the whole time I’ve been here. “Brandon? I need you to come and sit down.”

  I hear Zach walking in behind me, and watch as he walks straight by us to grab himself a bottle of beer from the refrigerator. “What? Are we gonna be having some kinda sleepover or something? Because if we are then I’m not shacking up with him for the night. He snores almost as bad as Alexis.” I like the way she sounds when she’s sleeping. I love the way she gets angry with me when I call her out on it. Well, that and when I always catch her checking me out. But, Zach? Nu-uh. I remember when we both went on a camping trip one summer while he was in town. He sounded like a fire breathing dragon with a head cold. He doesn’t sound cute at all.

  “Brandon, please?”

  I sit right beside Rach, and then twist in my seat until I’m fully facing her. She looks upset, and now that I think about it, maybe even a little anxious. “Alright, what is it?”

  She takes a deep breath, and I see her starting to fidget in her seat. She’s looking uncomfortable, and doesn’t look like she’s even got the balls to face me, “You once said there
was a detective who believed you were innocent.”

  “The one who raised my hopes and then just didn’t bother to show her face again? Yeah, what about her?” I ask, still studying her. Rach doesn’t do this. She’s confident all the time. She never falters.

  “Can you … er …” she’s even struggling to get her words out. “Damn this is hard.” What in the hell? I wrap my arm around her shoulders, and cock my head to the side to get a better look at her face.

  “Rach?” Is she worrying me? Yeah, a little too much, and now I’m starting to feel uneasy. “Hey, come on. Talk to me. What is it?” She lifts something from out of her purse, and slides it across the table toward me.

  She turns in her seat and points to the piece of … oh wait. It’s a photograph. I lean forward to get a closer look, “Is this her?” She asks hesitantly.

  “Yeah. Yeah, that’s her. Why? If she’s decided to help me out after all then she’s eighteen months too fucking late.” I lean back in my seat, and cross my right foot over my left while letting out a sigh.

  “She’s dead.”

  “What? What? I mean, how … what?” And now it seems that I’m struggling with my vocabulary.

  “I did some research on the detectives who signed your first statement, you know the ones that Brad gave to you a while ago? Yours and mine? I wanted to try and track her down to see if she would be willing to tell us anything. I thought that she could maybe give us a better insight. But, when I did a search on her name, it came up in the obituaries. She was killed in a car accident well before you even stood trial.” She fills the large wine glass right up to the brim, and I have a feeling she’s not telling me everything here. Yeah, alright I’ll admit that it’s sad news. I mean, she had a family and no one deserves to have their life taken away, but what makes it even worse is the fact that it’s looking less likely that we’re gonna get a hold of what we need.