Witch Bane and the Croaking Game

by Cat Larson

  I snorted. That was probably the most preposterous thing I’d heard so far.

  “But Penelope contacted me after she was already ‘dead.’ Or was that someone else impersonating her? You know, just to twist my mind more for your entertainment.”

  “No, that was Penelope. Depending on how you look at it, she lucked out knowing an authority—who’ll remain unmentioned—who was able to officially pronounce her dead before it was the case.”

  “That’s… outrageous. Not to mention illegal.”

  “I told you it was convoluted. And that you wouldn’t understand our type of amusement.”

  “Well, you’re right about that. Maybe Penelope’s not even dead now. Or Jonny, for that matter. Maybe they were just reported dead by some unscrupulous official.”

  He shook his head. “Let me finish. Penelope took some Goblin Grass and was planning on collapsing in front of you, playing dead, so to speak. She’s done this before as a gag with no ill effects, but this time it went a bit too far—”

  “A bit?”

  “Figuring out the correct dosage of a neurotoxin is tricky. She never meant to poison herself.”

  “This whole thing is pretty unbelievable.”

  “It’s also the truth. And just to complicate it further, the guys decided to throw together a little side prank with me as the focal point. Tommy and Jonny talked to you, putting suspicions in your head about me. They wanted to make you think I had something against Penelope.”

  “You didn’t? You were never in love with her sister?”

  “No, I was. That part was true. And yes, she did break up with me, but it’s all good. I’d never take that out on Penelope. These things happen. It’s just another game.”

  “Another game? Do you also find enjoyment in plucking out your fingernails with rusty pliers?” I shuddered. “And the pub fight? Was that all make-believe too?”

  He nodded. “Staged.”

  I threw up my hands. “Unbelievable.”

  “But not without a hint of conscience on my part. I really did mean it when I told Tommy it’d gone too far.”

  “How’d you know I’d even be at the pub?”

  “We didn’t. But when you walked in, we quickly threw something together.”

  I scrunched up my face. “Who are you people?”

  “Once again, you’re not a goblin. I’d never expect you to understand our unique brand of humor. But you did ask for an explanation, remember that.”

  “So, you’re sticking to this goblin thing?”

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “And what about Clarisse Jones? How does she fit into all this?” If she was a goblin too, she’d rule them all.

  “Clarisse? She doesn’t fit in anywhere.”

  “You already said the others pulled a side prank on you on top of the main prank pulled on me…” Talk about a head-scrambler. Simply having this conversation turned my brains into a breakfast special. “I know Tommy and Clarisse are connected somehow. Don’t you think he could still be messing around?”

  “No, I don’t. Right before Jonny was poisoned, we started playing jokes on Colin—Jonny, especially—threatening to tell Griffin everything because you were involved, but we never intended to actually go through with it. It was just another prank, of course.”

  “Of course,” I said, dryly.

  “As we banked on, Colin freaked out, but he ended up going way beyond what we expected. Next thing we know, Jonny’s dead.”

  “And how do you know this isn’t just more ‘fun and games’?”

  “Because we know the difference between a comedy and a tragedy.”

  “Right.” I was ready to pull my hair out. “Another question, then. What about—”

  The rap on the window jerked our heads up. Tommy.

  Um… I wasn’t too keen on seeing him right then. Gavin stood and headed for the door. “Do you have to let him in?”

  “Well, yeah. He’s coming to take Colin.”

  “Take him where?”

  Gavin unlocked the door and Tommy entered. He gave me a nod, and that was the full extent of his acknowledgment. No overly blatant grins or smooth-talking. Gavin gestured to the cubbyhole, and Tommy went in and dragged Colin out with little fanfare.

  Colin glared at me, and I couldn’t stop myself from asking, “Why are you afraid of Griffin?” It couldn’t be a goblin trait since he appeared to be the only one frightened of him.

  “Is he here?” Colin glanced around.

  “No, he’s not here.” Geesh. “But he will be if you don’t answer my question.” I picked up Gavin’s phone. “It’ll only take a second to—”

  “He can take us all down.”

  Tommy yanked him out the door. “Wait! What?” Was Griffin a goblin hunter or something?

  I looked at Gavin, but he just shrugged. Tommy and Colin were gone, and I hadn’t even gotten a real answer. Gavin shut the door, relocking it. It couldn’t be too good for business keeping the store closed for hours on end, but who was I to talk?

  The sudden stillness outside was just as noticeable as the windstorm had been minutes before. And just as eerie.

  “These tricks of yours… Do you guys manipulate the weather too?”

  A legitimate question, seeing as the wackiness started at the beginning of their free-for-all week.

  “The weather? If we could control the weather, just imagine the kinds of hoaxes we’d have at our disposal…” He beamed as if imagining the possibilities.

  “Perish the thought. I don’t think the world is ready for your ‘unique brand of humor.’”

  He waved his hand. “Ah, it’s only for one week out of the year.”

  “So, the rest of the time you’re completely normal?”

  “As normal as you anyway.” He winked.

  Humph. “I need to make things right with the cops.” Specifically, Damon. “I’m already on their radar, thanks to you and your so-called games.”

  “Don’t worry about any of that. Colin will confess.”

  “He will? How do you know?”

  “Because he did it. We’re sure of that now.”

  “But even if that’s true, that doesn’t mean… Oh right. Truth serum?” He nodded. “And the only place to get this special Goblin Grass is Mrs. Zweifler’s yard?”

  “It’s the only place it grows.”

  “Were you there today stealing some of it?”

  “No.”

  “Then who was? I know there were two of you. I was at her house earlier, and she told me.”

  “I’ve no idea. Colin, possibly? Does it really matter?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe.” Was Tommy the other thief? I didn’t know if I’d ever trust that guy. “I met Emily next door. Are you the one who gives her pictures?”

  His eyebrows sprang up. “Emily talked to you?”

  “Yeah.”

  “She doesn’t talk to just anyone.”

  “Then apparently I’m not just anyone. If you are the one who draws the pictures, they’re quite good. She showed me several.”

  Now, he looked flat-out impressed. “How’d you convince her to do that?”

  “She offered.” I watched him carefully. “She especially liked the bumblebee frog.” When he didn’t give me the reaction I’d expected, I narrowed my eyes. “You need to keep him out of this too.”

  “Him?”

  “The frog.”

  “Frog?”

  “Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. The frog in the picture.”

  “I’m not following.”

  Hmm. “Clarisse didn’t mention a bumblebee frog to you?”

  “And you say I’m confusing?”

  “Why’d you draw that picture?” I demanded. “And when?”

  “I don’t know… a month ago? It just came to me one day. Emily likes them silly.”

  “You expect me to believe that?”

  “Why wouldn’t you?”

  Why, indeed? Maybe because he was a goblin?
He stared at me strangely as if I were the peculiar one.

  “Everything I told you, and a playful drawing is what puzzles you the most?” he asked.

  He emitted a sincere vibe, but mind-twisting and dark pranks were his specialty. If he really did create that picture prior to my coming back to town, it could’ve been a coincidence, but could I trust someone whose very nature was steeped in trickery?

  “If it’s all the same to you, I’m going to hold on to a healthy dose of skepticism for now.”

  “Suit yourself.”

  Goblins… seriously?

  Suddenly, being a witch didn’t seem so bad, after all.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “No more secrets?”

  I shook my head. “No more secrets.”

  Sage and I had just spent the better part of the afternoon immersed in “girl talk.” I’d filled in a few blanks for her, leaving nothing left unknown, save for Griffin’s confidential details I was privy to.

  And oh… also that entire fiasco surrounding Fernando, his brother, Sal, and a whole lotta cash. That particular skeleton in the closet was a Chicago-Samm… er, Eve issue, not a Bigfoot Bay-Samm one.

  But everything else? Yeah, she now knew it all, including the full (uncensored) version of why I’d left town at age thirteen.

  And guess what? Once again, she was still here, no matter how outlandish these things must’ve sounded coming out of my mouth.

  What’d I do to deserve such an awesome best friend?

  “I am wondering something, though… If you knew all along that we were witches, why didn’t you say anything about it sooner?” I asked.

  “Because you didn’t want me to know, and I respected that. You guarded that secret like it was Pandora’s box, for whatever reason.”

  “I told you—I was worried about your reaction. I didn’t want to lose you over something I had no control over.”

  “Pfft. I’m not that superficial, you know.”

  “I know.”

  “And you should’ve confided in me before you up and split. We could’ve figured out something together. Then maybe you wouldn’t have had to leave at all.”

  “Sage, we were thirteen. What could we have done? Violet was a loose cannon, and she hadn’t even hit puberty yet. I truly believed you and Griffin were in danger if I stuck around, not to mention the chance of my family getting ostracized if Misty made good on her threats, which was a very real possibility.” And I just wanted out, a chance to live a normal life, I didn’t add.

  “You know the ostracizing thing wouldn’t have happened. Not here.”

  “I didn’t know that then. I was barely a teenager; I had enough to worry about.”

  Would I have made a different decision, knowing what I did now about the eccentricities of Bigfoot Bay? That was impossible to answer.

  “But I do understand where you’re coming from regarding Violet. I never knew exactly what your family was when you lived here. I just knew you had special… talents.”

  I snorted. “That’s one way of putting it.”

  “I didn’t realize the full extent of what you were all capable of until after you were long gone. Violet’s not always the most discreet.”

  “Ha! An understatement. Good thing you’re a human female.” I held up Fernando. “You see what can happen when you’re not.”

  “About that…”

  Fernando leaped from my hand onto her shoulder then back again, playing the part of froggy ping-pong ball.

  I cuddled him close. “I sure miss having my little guy here. Thanks again for taking care of him.”

  “No problem at all.”

  As much as I wanted Fernando with me, I still felt safer with him at Sage’s for the time being. He jumped onto the top of her head, and she disentangled him from her curls.

  She yawned. “Don’t get me wrong. I love having him, but I’d love him even better if he didn’t do this all night long.”

  I laughed. “How many times do I have to tell you? Don’t give him blueberries right before bed. It makes him hyper.”

  “But he gives me those sad eyes.”

  “Well, of course, he does. He knows how to play you. And every time you give in, it just makes things harder…”

  We both busted out laughing. “We are still talking about a grown man here, right?”

  “Yeah, in a manner of speaking.” She tickled underneath his chin, and I watched how they interacted together. Total buds. “So, how come you’re so accepting of my fiancé in this form, but when I told you about him before, you wondered if he was right for me. You said you got a weird vibe.”

  “I don’t know. I get a good feeling about him as a frog. Maybe he should just stay this way?”

  “That’s not funny and you know it.”

  “But I can’t help wondering why Violet spelled him and not say… Griffin?”

  “You can hardly compare teenage puppy love to an engagement. She didn’t want me to marry a lowly human male, and Fernando was the threat here, not Griffin.”

  “Hmm. Does your fiancé know about your witchy heritage?”

  “No!” I flicked him a look. Although, if he understood English as I sometimes suspected, he did now. “There’s no reason to burden him with that information, not when we’ll be living a perfectly normal life in Chicago.”

  “Hmm. And you said Griffin doesn’t know everything I do either?”

  “That’s correct, and you also know I prefer to keep it that way.”

  “Hmm.”

  “Can you stop saying that?”

  “He’d understand, you know. Just like I did. You don’t have to keep secrets from him any longer or distort the tr—”

  “Stop. Please. Don’t bring him into this.”

  She sighed. “Okay. So, why do you think Misty hated you so much back then?”

  “Where did that come from?”

  “Just changing the subject. I was thinking back to when we were kids, and how she pretty much picked on everyone. But she really seemed to have it in for you.”

  “I’m not sure, but we’ll never find out now. Thankfully.”

  Misty was no longer a concern, and neither was her sister, who was currently a ward of the state, residing a few counties over.

  “I bet she was jealous of your powers.”

  I rolled my eyes. “We’re not superheroes, Sage.”

  “But compared to her, you might as well have been. That couldn’t have been too easy for someone like her to handle.”

  “I wasn’t any different from the rest of my family. It had to be something else too. Something personal.”

  “Maybe it was the lavender hair.”

  “If that’s all she wanted, I would’ve gladly given it to her. Good riddance.”

  “I think it’s beautiful.” She grabbed a strand between her fingers. “In fact, I think you’re growing some more.”

  “What?”

  I ran into the bathroom, expecting her to say Just kidding! at any moment, but when I looked in the mirror, my face fell. I lifted the chunk of purple I’d had since birth, and sure enough, there was another slab right under it.

  Sage popped up behind me, Fernando on her shoulder. “What the heck, Sage? You weren’t joking.”

  “Nope.”

  “What do you think this means?”

  Was I going to wake up some morning to Fernando munching on my head because he thought I was sprouting blueberries? I was going to end up needed a wig.

  “I’m not sure. Maybe your pow—abilities are getting stronger?”

  “No, that is definitely not the case.”

  I’d renounced them long ago, in addition to drowning them out with gallons upon gallons of strong coffee. That little thing called free will? I’d milked it for all it was worth. And I must’ve gotten pretty efficient at it because even now when I tried, nothing happened.

  “Case in point,” I said, waving her back into the shop. I picked the spellbook off the counter. “Tell me what this says.”


  “The Rise and Fall of Mesopotamian Civilization.”

  “Right. Just what I’d expect from a non-witch. Do you know what I see when I look at it?”

  “The Rise and Fall—”

  “Nope. I see nothing.”

  “Huh?”

  “Absolutely nothing besides a blank black cover and blank white pages.”

  “Strange.”

  “Do you know what I’m supposed to see, being a so-called powerful witch?”

  “I’m guessing it’s not The Rise and—”

  “Nope. It’s a family grimoire. A spellbook.” Was it okay to disclose that information? Oh well. She knew everything else. “According to my mom, there’s a spell in here that can help me locate Violet, even if she doesn’t want to be found.” Her face brightened. “But obviously, I can’t see it.”

  “Oh.”

  “So, I can’t be getting stronger, witch-wise, because I can’t even read a family spellbook. My mom says I just have to try harder. Ha!”

  “Maybe that’s true.”

  “I have tried harder, and why should I anyway? I didn’t choose to be born a witch, but it’s my choice what I do with my life now. And if I don’t want to follow that path, isn’t that my right?”

  “But don’t you need Violet back for no other reason than to reverse the spell?”

  “Yeah.” I took Fernando from her and cradled him. “Thanks again for taking care of him.”

  “Samm, you don’t need to keep saying that.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  Especially with tomorrow being Goblin’s Day. As far as I knew, they wouldn’t be performing their normal shenanigans, but could you really trust a goblin? Gavin had been correct in that Colin did confess to poisoning Jonny but was still holding strong that Penelope’s death was an accidental overdose. But what exactly she’d overdosed on, Officer Damon wasn’t buying. The heat was currently off me and my frog, but who knew how long that would last?

  “Well, if you can’t see the spells in order to cast them, we’ll need to figure out another way to bring Violet back.”

  “We could always wait for my parents to get home and then my mom could do the spell. Or maybe Damon will end up finding her somehow.” Doubtful but possible.

  “You said the last known lead you had was somewhere in Caledonia, that she abandoned a car there—which I have a hard time believing—but if there’s a chance it’s true, maybe we should drive out there and ask around?”