Lanie's Lessons

by Maddie Taylor

  “I need more here, baby. Still not following.”

  “Ethan, you’re worried that you’ve changed me, somehow diminished my fire, my drive and my killer instinct, or that you took away my dreams, right?” Climbing back on top of him, her hands spreading across his chest as she smiled softly down at him. “Silly man, don’t you realize, you didn’t change me. You set me free.” She leaned up and pressed a quick kiss on his open mouth, smiling at his befuddlement.

  His hand came up, fingers curling around her neck as he pulled her down until they were nose to nose, his eyes blazing into hers. “Lanie, I’m lost here. For the sake of what control I have left, stop being so cryptic and explain in fifth grade language so that even I, dimwitted man that I am, can understand what the hell you are talking about.”

  She shook her head. “Professor, you are far from dimwitted and are usually very perceptive, but sometimes I think you wouldn’t recognize a snake if it bit you on the ass.” She smiled gently to take away the sting of her words. “I knew from the beginning, I didn’t have the killer instinct to be a successful attorney. You said yourself that isn’t who I am. As a woman in a man’s world, I needed balls as big, if not bigger, than any man I came up against. I didn’t have them, so I created someone who did. I created Melanie Fischer, the Ice Queen, that you so eloquently called a card carrying bitch in the courtroom. Don’t you see, Ethan? She’s a façade, and so far removed from the real Lanie, especially when I’m with you.”

  The tension had left his face during her explanation. He studied her silently when she was done, his eyes searching. When the silence dragged on for several minutes, Lanie prompted, “Ethan say something.”

  He did, softly murmuring, “Thank God.” as he pulled her into his arms. “For a minute there I thought Melanie was the real you, and that what we have together, was the act.”

  “Ethan, I was pretty good for an amateur actor, but I’m no Meryl Streep. How could you think I could fake what we have, or that I would ever deceive you that way?”

  “Because I’m an idiot.” He buried his face in her neck and brushed his lips across the sensitive spot where her neck met her shoulder. It always made shivers race up her spine, as it did now. “I’m sorry, baby, but Christ, when I saw you today, staring down the opposing council with something akin to a freeze ray, I had to wonder. You were brilliant.”

  “You rarely come see me in court, but that was all Melanie. How do you think I got the nickname of the Ice Queen?”

  It was his time to shiver. “Have to admit, sweetheart, you’re kind of scary as Melanie.”

  “Darn. There goes my plan to put on a power suit and play Mistress Freeze in the bedroom.”

  He rolled them, until her back found the mattress. “Remember when we first started and I explained who held the whip in this relationship? That still holds true, baby.”

  “Aw, so Melanie can’t come by your classroom and use the cane on your distrustful behind.”

  “That is not happening, Lanie.”

  “I was teasing, Ethan. Melanie is great in the courtroom, but between the sheets, huh-uh. She scares the shit out of me too. I can’t believe what comes out of her mouth sometimes.” She smiled at the quirked brow she always got from him when she used salty language. Then she sobered. “Don’t think you’re off the hook for doubting me, buster.”

  “I know, Lanie. And I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you in other ways. In fact, I might be convinced to let you be on top for a change.”

  “Mm, that sounds nice, Professor.” Her smile was soft as she met his eyes, relieved that she no longer saw the shadows from earlier. It was a revelation that her big, strong, dominant husband could be as vulnerable as she was when it came to the two of them, and it made her love him more. She offered him that reassurance.

  “I love you, Ethan and I swear that I love what we have together. Every naughty, kinky, sexy, wonderful part of it, got me?”

  “I got you, baby.” A probing look crept into his intelligent eyes. “I’m curious about one other thing. After your dad passed, why did you continue on with your law degree? Why not change to a drama major and head to Hollywood or Broadway?”

  “Two reasons. The first is because I’m neurotic. You may have noticed that.”

  His brow quirked and his eyes twinkled, but his mouth remained shut.

  “I was a bit high strung as a child too, so I hate to tell you honey, that probably won’t change, so don’t put away your paddle anytime soon.”

  His chuckle rumbled inside his chest. “Thanks for the heads up, baby. I’ll try to keep that in mind.”

  “Okay, so I’m preaching to the choir. Whatever.” She paused, trying to get back on track. “I was in grad school when Dad passed. I’d already taken my LSAT, and done really well and I had my letter of acceptance from Boston College Law School. I didn’t have a romantic interest at the time, so marriage and babies weren’t on the horizon. I was looking at being an independent working girl who had to earn a living somehow, especially if I thumbed my nose at what my parents had decided was best for me. I couldn’t count on Mom’s buy in and support if I chucked it all. Bottom line, I was too far along to throw it all away and knew I could always find work. Acting would have been a crap shoot.”

  “Very pragmatic of you.” His smile was tender as his hand cupped her cheek. She nuzzled against him, pressing a kiss into his palm.

  “What was the other reason?” he prompted.

  “The second reason is your fault.”

  “Me? We hadn’t met yet.”

  “Not directly.”

  “C’mon, baby. Don’t get mysterious again. You were on a roll.”

  “When dad died, I thought seriously about quitting. I actually took a semester off to get my head straight. During that time, mom arranged an internship with a colleague who was a trial attorney. It was fascinating, but as I said, I didn’t think I was the hard ass attorney type.”

  “After what I saw today, you sold yourself short, Lanie.”

  “Thank you, but back then I was very shy, an introvert really. One day, the attorney I was working with sent me to a seminar. It was entitled, ‘Trial lawyers: Thespians in Suits.’ There was this to die for, gorgeous, young trial attorney who was presenting. He had the most beautiful brown eyes—still does.”

  “You were in one of my workshops? Why don’t I remember you?” His brow creased as he thought back.

  “Don’t strain yourself, Ethan, you wouldn’t have recognized me.” Her fingers rose to the lines between his brows and smoothed them, traveling over his high cheekbones and down along the days scruff of beard. “I was young, still trying to find myself. I also dyed my hair back then. It was a really dark brown, almost black. Having been called doll, princess, and blondie all my life, I had this fear of not being taken seriously. Like that movie with Reese Witherspoon.”

  “Legally Blonde.”

  “You’ve seen it? I’m shocked.” Lanie laughed. “What made you go to that?”

  “A forgettable date with someone I don’t remember. I do recall being annoyed by the dog in the purse in court—so irritating. That’s two hours of my life I’ll never get back.”

  She snickered and shot him a grin. “I kind of liked it, but my point is that I learned from your workshop that a trial is like a play. The courtroom is the stage and the plaintiff, the defendant, the other lawyers and the judge are all actors. You said that as a trial lawyer, my role is multifaceted. I’m a producer and also the lead actor, but my biggest role is director, and my job is to present the story through my eyes to my audience, which is played by the jury. Arranging what they see and hear, in what order, what to emphasize and what to minimize. I took all that you said to heart, because it was something I knew I could do. I could be a hard ass lady lawyer if I approached it like an actor in a play.”

  “Well, I’ll be damned.

  “Yep, because of you, Melanie Langston, the Ice Queen was born. By the time you came along a few years later, I was firmly
enmeshed in the character and she had bled into my real life. I’m surprised you asked me out. Melanie can be a real bitch.”

  “Other than by reputation, I didn’t know her. If you recall, we met at a children’s charity fundraiser, which by definition is a no bitch zone. You weren’t allowed to wear a power suit or crush us mere mortals under your dainty heel that day.”

  There was that cutting wit she was used to. Thank heavens, he had come back to her. “It was a carnival if I remember right. I would have looked funny playing mini golf or getting in the dunking booth in a business suit and stilettos.”

  “I would have noticed that for sure. Although, I didn’t have any trouble noticing you that day. You were at the face painting booth and I remember your line was longer than anyone else’s. The kids were beaming up at you, falling in love with your laugh and your smile, just as I did. You looked like you do now, like my Lanie. I remember it like it was yesterday, including the snug pink T-shirt, tight jeans, and sneakers, and the blonde ponytail.”

  “Ethan.” She couldn’t manage more as her eyes misted, having found yet another reason why she loved him. Automatically, she reached up to her hair, which was its usual honey blonde. “I switched back after friends convinced me that black hair with my fair skin was not a good look, unless I wanted to get piercings and go all Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.”

  “I wouldn’t have ever asked Melanie the bitch out. But I leapt at the chance to ask sweet, charming Lanie to lunch after the event.”

  “Sweet wasn’t an adjective used to describe me at the time. I must have been off my game, that day.” She leaned down to give him a sweet kiss, murmuring, “I’m so glad you asked me, Ethan. Until you came along, she had me hidden so deep that I almost lost me. I was immersed in work—we’ve already established I can be rather obsessive—and was a bit of a killjoy, having forgotten how to have fun. I almost didn’t go that day. Thank heavens my friends dragged me away from research on a case. I fell in love that day, honey. From the beginning it was different with you. You were comfortable, like slipping on a well-worn pair of shoes. With you, I didn’t have to pretend and I could go back to being Lanie the dreamer. It was wonderful.”

  He snorted. “Good to know I’m like a pair of smelly old sneakers.”

  “Seriously? That’s what you got out of all of that?”

  “I’m kidding, baby.”

  “Okay, maybe that wasn’t a very good example,” she giggled, seeing the teasing look that was so familiar. “Although my analogy was bad, I really do think that as my husband you should be comfortable. You should be my safe haven, my refuge, my beacon in a storm… and you are. When you hold me in your arms I feel like I’m home. You show your love for me every day with a smile or a touch, caring for me when I’m sick, or protecting me when I have a space cadet moment.” She quickly put two fingers against his lips when he opened them. “No blonde jokes or commentary, please.”

  “I didn’t say a word.” He didn’t, but his eyes twinkled mischievously.

  Since she was laying it all out on the table, she continued her confession. Inching up so her mouth aligned with his, she whispered against his lips. “When you take the lead as my strong, dominant husband and call me on my crap or spank my behind; that’s when I’m free to be me. Only with you, do I feel brave enough to shed the carefully constructed persona of the Ice Queen. Only with you, can I become Lanie, your wife, lover, willing submissive and yes, even sometimes, your bratty girl. I can laugh, cry, and act silly with you, and explore all my fantasies. That’s the real me, Ethan and I thank you for letting me be who I need to be with you.” She kissed him gently and sighed as his hand came up and threaded through her hair. As he deepened the kiss, she pulled back.

  “Wait.”

  “What is it?”

  “I wasn’t finished.”

  He huffed a small laugh as his tongue licked along her bottom lip “You had me at ‘only with you.’”

  “I did?”

  “Yeah, but finish what you want to say.”

  “I love you, Ethan.”

  “Love you too. Was that it?”

  “No.”

  His groan was full of sexual frustration as he pressed against her. Feeling his hard length nudge her thigh, she reassured him. “I’ll make it quick. Do you remember the night you proposed your radical approach? I wasn’t sure about it all because Melanie the control freak still had a firm grip on me, but I trusted you and put myself in your hands without any preconceived ideas. I balked and whined some, and freaked out on you once or twice.” She paused to catch her breath and make her final point clear. “I always trusted you to know what was best. From the beginning, I knew you would do what had to be done to save me, to save us and that it was up to me to give it a chance. I want to thank you for that, Ethan. I shudder to think what would have happened if you hadn’t stepped in. I was a mess.”

  He planted a foot in the mattress and rolled them until she was looking up at him and saw the emotion in his eyes, and the love.

  “You were, indeed. And thank you for going along with it because you’re right, we are stronger for it. But I’d give it all up if it isn’t what you want, Lanie. I want you to be happy.”

  “Bite your tongue. During the past year, with you in charge, I learned to let things go, got out of that awful good old boys law firm, and kicked their ass as an afterthought. I learned to love kinky games and found that there are benefits to the occasional naughty girl spanking. I love you so much, Ethan. You’ve made me a very happy girl.”

  “My happy girl,” he whispered. “Did you have anything else to add, Lanie?”

  “No, honey. I think that about covers it.”

  “Good, then give me those lips, baby, and make me an even happier man.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Applause broke out from their small group as the waiter uncorked and poured the champagne. Lanie and Beth were hosting a dinner for their staff to celebrate a full year in business. It was hard to believe time had passed so quickly. They had grown from one secretary to a team of ten which included Michelle Greene, their brand new partner. Most had been brought on board in the midst of the WW&S litigation. The daily press over sex and corporate greed was a scandal too good to pass by and had been free publicity for their fledgling firm. Since that time, almost six months ago, the referrals and walk in traffic had tripled and they had to keep up with the demand or start turning clients away. In addition to another full-time attorney, they had added a paralegal, an office manager, two legal secretaries, a receptionist, and Sarah Masterson, who was part time at thirty hours per week to work specifically on Beth’s business law caseload.

  Lanie cleared her throat as she stood, which captured everyone’s attention.

  “Thank you all for coming. Beth and I wanted to give you all a little treat to say thank you and to celebrate the end of a tremendously successful first year. It was only Beth, Patti and I at the beginning and now look at us. We appreciate how much you do to support us, from document prep, research, billing, or something so simple as the smile you give a new client who is battling nerves the first time they walk in our doors. Bottom line, we wouldn’t be where we are without all of you. So,” she raised her glass and everyone else followed suit, “to a great team and here’s hoping we have an even better second year.”

  Her words were greeted with a round of “here-here,” “cheers,” and “salute.”

  “On a personal note, I’d like to thank Ethan for his support. As a consultant, his recommendations have been spot on and his legal expertise invaluable. Thank you, honey.” She leaned down and kissed him without any qualms over her PDA. More than a peck, it was intimate but not inappropriate and brief enough that the applause was still going strong when she lifted her head. She smiled at him before nodding to her partner. “Beth has a few announcements, and then we’ll set business aside and have fun.”

  Beth struggled to her feet. Steven, who was seated beside her, stood and helped. At seven months al
ong, her petite frame had very little room left to accommodate the growing baby and she looked ready to pop. Once vertical, she placed a hand on her belly and heaved a comical sigh. “I can’t get out of a chair anymore without help. So if I’m in my office for over an hour, I’m probably stuck and need to pee, so send help.”

  As everyone laughed, Lanie watched her friend closely. Beth was happy and glowing, and despite her complaints, she and Steven were eagerly awaiting the birth of their first child—a little boy. Beth was actually impatiently waiting. She’d had her nursery finished for two months and every time she went by Tadpoles or Magic Beans, she came out with her arms full of the cutest baby clothes ever. Lanie had to ask her to slow down and save something for the girls to buy for her shower next month.

  When Steven had taken his seat and the chuckles had died down, Beth began. “I wanted to second Lanie’s words of thanks adding a thank you to Steven. As a psychologist, he wasn’t able to help directly, but he hung blinds, was our go to computer guy, and did a lot of the heavy lifting so we could open the doors on schedule. More importantly, he was a calming force when we first started out, holding my hand and offering words of reassurance. I know Lanie, Ethan and Patti are eternally grateful you were around for my early freak-outs, honey. Thank you for believing in me, honey.” She also gave her husband a kiss. Fortunately, he was tall, even when seated, and she only had to lean in and stretch a bit to reach his lips around her protruding belly.

  She grinned impishly when she straightened, adding, “Since he’s also an investor, I suppose I could thank him for bankrolling us, but that would be rude. Wouldn’t it, honey?” He rolled his eyes and everyone chuckled at his chagrin. Beth was hardly a shy, retiring flower and usually told it like it is.

  “Since its uncouth to talk about money, I’ll talk about something that isn’t—the baby.” She winked at her husband then beamed at the group as she stroked her belly. Her baby was currently her favorite topic. “As you know, I’ll be starting maternity leave in a few weeks. Sooner if my baby daddy has anything to say about it.”