“Hi, Celeste,” I say. She looks up, and I can see that she’s been crying. I wonder how long it will take her to get over Jon. There’s really no point in moping about like she’s been doing. It’s not going to make him come back.
She doesn’t answer. She’s been treating me like I’m invisible, and suddenly I don’t feel like taking it anymore.
“I think it’s time you forgot about him,” I tell her as she walks past.
She swings around and glares at me. And then the expression on her face changes. She stands up a little straighter. “I’ve been assigned,” she says.
“You have? To who?”
She doesn’t answer but regards me curiously.
And then I understand. “No!” I say.
She just nods.
Anger surges through me, and I push her, hard. “He’s waiting for me! I know he is!”
She pushes me back. “Apparently that’s not the way God sees it.”
“There’s been a mistake,” I tell her, the anger turning to panic. “I’ll tell Daddy to talk to the Prophet. Maybe it’s not too late to change things.”
“Works for me,” she says. “It’s not like I want to marry him.”
“It’s not fair!” I shout. “I’ve been obedient and faithful, and you haven’t.”
Celeste turns and walks toward the house.
“What are you going to do?” I call to her back.
“About what?” she says.
“About getting married.”
“What choice do I have?”
“You can say no.”
Celeste stops and turns to look at me. “What are you saying, Nanette?”
“Tell him you won’t marry him.”
“And then what?”
“I don’t know. But you don’t want to get married. You always said that.”
Celeste stares at me. “I’m surprised at you, Nanette. You’re telling me to be disobedient.”
I know I’m not making any sense, but the panic is making me crazy. “You’ve been disobedient before. Why not now, when it really counts?”
She takes a step closer to me. I’m feeling faint, maybe from the sun. “Even if I did refuse to marry him,” she says, “even if I chose to disgrace my family and Mr. Nielsson, it still wouldn’t mean that you would be assigned to him.”
I know that what she’s saying is true. But still, I can’t bear to know that she is with him and I’m not.
“You could leave Unity,” I tell her, shocking even myself. “Go find Taviana, and Jon.”
Celeste is watching me, a curious expression on her face. “So you’re no longer worried that I won’t achieve eternal life,” she says. “Or that I’ll burn in hell. What happened to pure, obedient, caring Nanette?” She shakes her head. “It seems that even those who practice purity have their limit.”
“Celeste,” I say, “I’m sorry I told Daddy about you and Jon. But please, for me, don’t marry Mr. Nielsson.” Streams of sweat are running down my back and chest, and I’m beginning to see stars in the air between us. I have to get out of the sun.
She shrugs. “Who knows? Maybe we’ll be sister wives as well as sisters in a couple of years.” She shakes her head and continues her trudge toward the house.
My world goes black.
Chapter Seventeen
CELESTE
I run into the house and call for Daddy, and he and Mr. Nielsson carry Nanette into the living room and lay her on a sofa. She quickly regains consciousness.
“Bring a glass of water!” Mr. Nielsson snaps at me. I hand it to him and then watch as he leans over and gently puts it to her lips. I would have expected him to step aside and let one of Daddy’s wives care for her, but he takes over. Nanette is right. It should be her marrying him and not me.
I slip out of the room and up the stairs to check on Mother. I’m shocked when I see her. She’s lying on her side, her wet hair plastered to her head. All the blankets have been tossed to the floor and the window is wide open but it still feels like an oven in her room. Her dress has worked its way up her legs, and I can see that her ankles are grossly swollen. Her eyes are closed, her face deathly white, and she appears to be panting. I run back down the stairs and gather up another glass of water and a bowl and towel. Back in her room, I wipe her face with cool water and push the hair away from her face. Her eyes flutter open, but she doesn’t appear to recognize me for a moment.
“Mother, are you all right?”
“Celeste.” Her eyes focus and she tries to sit up, but it requires too much effort. “I’m so warm.”
I can feel waves of heat radiating from her body, and she smells like she hasn’t been given a sponge bath in days.
“I brought you some water.” I hold the glass to her lips, just as Mr. Nielsson did for Nanette a few minutes ago.
She drinks thirstily from the glass, and I go into the bathroom and fill it up again. When she’s finished the second glass, she’s ready to sit up. I fluff her pillows and make her comfortable. Now I see that her hands are also very swollen.
“It’s warm for May, isn’t it?” she says as I wipe her face with the wet towel.
“It is. Nanette just fainted from the heat.”
“Is she all right?” she asks, frowning.
“I think she’ll be fine. Mr. Nielsson is with her.”
Mother’s eyes widen. “Mr. Nielsson?”
“He was here talking to Daddy.”
“Oh.” I see understanding flicker across her face. Her hand moves to her enormous belly, and she rubs it. Then she reaches for my hand and places it near the top of the bulge. “This is an active one,” she says. “Can you feel that kicking?”
Something sharp jabs me right through Mother’s clothes. I pull my hand away, appalled. She doesn’t seem to notice my reaction.
“There’s nothing wrong with this little guy,” she says, rubbing her stomach again.
I scan my mother’s swollen body. Between pregnancies she’s a tiny woman, but there’s nothing small about her right now. I don’t ever want to look like that. Some color has returned to her cheeks. “Are you going to be okay?”
“I think so,” she says. She holds up a hand and regards it. “Though the swelling has me a little concerned. I don’t remember puffing up like this before. It’s probably just the heat.”
I think about Colleen and how pale Mother looked when I first checked in on her. “Maybe we should tell Daddy to bring a doctor from Springdale to check you over,” I suggest.
“I feel like I’d be a huge disappointment to your father if I can’t manage this without help from the outside,” she says, her voice hardly more than a whisper. “You know how he feels about our being independent. No one else has ever had to have a doctor.”
By “no one else” she means Deborah and Lena.
“I know,” I tell her, though I’m tempted to point out that Colleen might still be alive if her husband had consulted a doctor sooner. “But you’ve given him seven healthy children without help from the outside. Just this once, I think it would be good to get a doctor’s opinion.”
“Could you talk to him about it, Celeste? I don’t want him to think I’ve lost faith.”
“He’s not exactly happy with me right now,” I tell her. “But maybe I’ll ask Nanette to talk to him. He always listens to her.”
She nods. “Did he...talk to you about anything else today?”
I hear myself exhaling. “Yes. I’ve been assigned to Mr. Nielsson.”
“He’s a lovely man,” she says. “I’m so happy for you.” I see tears in her eyes.
I just shrug.
“He will treat you well. His wives are all happy.”
“Nanette wishes she could be assigned to him.”
“Maybe she will be too.”
“I told her that. It didn’t make her feel any better.”
Mother’s eyes widen, but she doesn’t comment. She sinks deeper into her pillows. A breeze coming through the window lifts the filmy curtains.
“Ahh, that’s better,” she says, fanning herself with her hand.
“I’ll bring you some supper in a little while.”
“Thank you, Celeste.” She closes her eyes. “And you’ll talk to Nanette, won’t you? About talking to your father?”
“I will.” I kiss her forehead and leave the room.
I find Nanette still stretched out on the sofa, but Mr. Nielsson is gone. “I just spoke with Mother,” I tell her.
She regards me but doesn’t say anything.
“We’re both worried about the swelling in her hands and feet. She’s wondering if you could tell Daddy that she should be looked at by a doctor from Springdale.”
She struggles to a sitting position, frowning. “Talk to him yourself.”
“We both feel that you might have more influence with him.”
“I doubt that.”
“Why do you say that?”
She looks over her shoulder to see who might be listening, but there are only small children in the room. “I asked him to tell the Prophet that I’m ready to be assigned to a husband, but he didn’t do that.”
“Maybe because you’re too young.”
“I might not be fifteen, but I’m ready.”
“Well, I’m worried about Mother, and she’s concerned about herself too. So if you care at all about her, I think you should go talk to Daddy right now. Think about what happened to Colleen.”
She nods and slowly gets to her feet.
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah, just a little dizzy.”
“Do you think you’ll pass out again?”
She shakes her head and walks across the room. She pauses at the door, takes a deep breath and leaves the house.
Standing at the kitchen sink, I watch her cross the yard to the barn. I’m sure Daddy will listen to her when it comes to our mother. I know he’s not supposed to have a favorite wife, but I think Mother is it anyway. And Nanette’s clearly his favorite daughter, but then everyone has a soft spot for her. Except me.
I think about her pleas for me to refuse to marry Mr. Nielsson. That is so unlike her. It’s amazing how love can make us do things we never dreamed we’d do. Two months ago I would not have believed that I’d break so many rules to see Jon. I’m sure Nanette is shocked at herself for suggesting that I continue to be disobedient.
I scrape potatoes and consider what she said. What if I did refuse to get married? Is it possible? I picture Daddy’s face as I tell him that I won’t be marrying Mr. Nielsson. After recovering from his shock he’d fly into a rage and reach for the leather strap. But I can outrun him. I don’t need to consent to his demands. I feel myself smiling at the notion of outrunning him. But then what? Could I continue living here? No. A sense of doom settles over me again. It would bring too much shame on my family. Father would order me to leave. I would have to go to Springdale. I’d become an apostate, and I could never return to Unity.
I picture my last trip to Springdale, with my father, and I cringe when I remember how everyone was dressed, or not dressed, out on the streets, showing all their skin and letting their underwear hang out. It’s one thing to let my ankles show on a deserted beach, quite another to be half naked in public. I could never be one of them.
I fill a pot with cold water. But Taviana came to Unity and adapted to us. And Jon is there. He would stick with me. I would not be alone.
I shake my head as I rinse the potatoes and put them in the water. I feel a lone tear trickling down my cheek. It is different for them. I can never leave. I might as well stop thinking about it.
In just a few days I will be part of Mr. Nielsson’s family. This will no longer be my home. It’s so hard to believe. When I marry him, I will become Jon’s stepmother. My children will be his stepsisters and brothers. We will be related, through marriage. The thought brings me no comfort as Jon will never return anyway.
I see Daddy coming back to the house with Nanette. Good. I knew he’d listen to her. They come in through the back door, and both of them climb the steps to Mother’s room.
Fat from the frying pan spatters me as I drop a ground-beef patty into the pan. I hear Daddy’s heavy footsteps coming back down the stairs. He bangs out the door, and a moment later the truck revs into life and pulls out of the driveway.
Nanette comes into the kitchen. “He’s gone to get a doctor,” she whispers.
I notice she’s still pale. “Are you okay?” I ask her.
She nods. “But you’re right. Mother looks awful. She wasn’t nearly so bad when I brought her breakfast.”
“She thinks maybe it’s just the heat.”
“Maybe.” Nanette begins to wash vegetables, and together, in silence, we finish preparing supper.
Lena has just said the evening blessing when we hear Daddy’s truck pulling back into the driveway. It is followed by another car. Nanette leaps to her feet and peers out the window. “He’s brought a doctor,” she says.
The front door swings open and Father comes into the house, the doctor trailing behind. “Deborah,” he says from the kitchen door. “Please take Dr. Metcalf to Irene’s room and remain there while he speaks with her.”
Deborah nods and leads the man upstairs. Daddy takes his seat at the table, and I bring him a plate of food.
With the exception of babbling from the children, the table is quiet throughout the meal. I help little Joan with her supper, and Nanette assists Faith. Deborah and the doctor are still upstairs when family members begin excusing themselves from the table, so Pam and I start cleaning up dishes while Lena and Nanette herd the children outside for a final romp before their bedtime. The longer Deborah and the doctor are gone, the more knots develop in my stomach. Father waits at the table, preoccupied. I expect it was hard for him to swallow his pride and ask for assistance from a doctor. I hope Mother isn’t too disappointed in herself.
We’re almost finished in the kitchen, and I’m wondering how I can slip upstairs to Mother’s room without Daddy noticing, when Deborah and the doctor come back down the stairs.
“I’d like to speak to you privately,” the doctor says to my father. He glances about the kitchen, but his expression doesn’t give anything away.
Daddy nods and leads the doctor a short way down the driveway where they can talk alone.
“Well?” I ask Deborah.
She’s taking her plate of food out of the oven where I’ve put it to keep warm. “He says she needs to be in a hospital. Her blood pressure is too high, and the swelling is not good.”
“Do you think Daddy will listen?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. But maybe, because of Colleen.”
“Could she die if she doesn’t get help?” Nanette asks, her eyes wide.
“I don’t know. But the doctor did ask why she didn’t seek medical attention sooner.”
“Then Daddy better take her to the hospital.” Nanette’s voice quivers.
Through the window, I watch the two men in the driveway. The conversation seems to be going back and forth, and then I see the doctor put his finger to Daddy’s chest and poke him aggressively a few times. Daddy takes a step back, and the doctor straightens his shoulders and returns to his car. “He’s leaving,” I tell the others.
A moment later, Daddy is back in the house. He stands in the kitchen doorway, not saying anything. Finally he comes to a decision. “Deborah, go tell Lena to pack a bag for Irene. She’ll come with me when I take Irene to the hospital.”
“What is it, Daddy?” Nanette asks, jumping to her feet. “Is she going to be okay?”
Daddy ignores her. “And Deborah, you’re in charge here until we return. I don’t know when that will be.”
My own heart feels lodged in my throat. Without asking permission, I slide past him and scramble up the stairs to Mother’s room. I hear Nanette on the stairs behind me.
Mother looks exactly as I left her. “Daddy’s taking you to the hospital,” I tell her.
“He is?” Her room is somewhat cooler th
an it was this afternoon, but her hair is still wet with perspiration, and her skin is deathly white. The empty glass stands on her night table. I grab it and dash into the bathroom to fill it up.
When I reenter her room, Nanette is sitting on the bed beside her, stroking her huge belly. I help Mother sip from the glass of water. “Should I go get you some dinner before you go?” I ask her.
“No, but thank you, Celeste, and you too, Nanette, for your help. I feel relieved to be going to a hospital, even though it bends the rules of our faith.”
I picture the way the doctor was poking my father in the chest and wonder how close Daddy came to making a different decision.
“Will you stay there until the baby is born?” I ask her.
“I believe so,” she tells me. “But I trust you girls to take care of your little brothers and sisters for me.”
“We will,” Nanette assures her.
I think of telling her that I’ll be married in a couple of days, and once I’m married I’ll be living at the Nielssons’ farm, but decide against it. She has enough to worry about right now, and perhaps this will give me the leverage I need to have the whole thing postponed.
Lena comes into the room, smiles at Mother and puts a fresh nightdress and housecoat into a small bag.
“I think they give you hospital gowns to wear there,” Mother says.
“Oh, but they’re not modest. You’ll feel much more comfortable in your own things.”
Mother just nods. “Girls, could you help me get dressed for the trip to Springdale?”
She is very shaky on her feet, but once she is dressed, she puts an arm around each of our shoulders and we help her down the stairs. Daddy has collected the rest of her children in the living room. We settle her into the armchair and gather around her. We hand her Faith and Joan, one at a time, for a little cuddle. Rebecca and the boys are shy around her. It’s been a while since she’s been involved in their lives.
“I’m going away for a few days,” she tells the boys and Rebecca, “because I need some extra help with this baby.” She rubs her belly. “But I’ll be back soon. I know you’ll be good while I’m gone. I’ll miss all of you.”
Sister Wife Page 14