“How long?” Rebecca asks. She leans against Mother’s legs. I know she longs to be in Mother’s lap too, but with the unborn baby and Faith already there, there is no room. I bend over and pick her up.
“Not too long,” Mother says. “It’s almost time for the baby to be born.”
“I don’t want you to go,” Rebecca whines, and her face crumples as tears stream down her cheeks.
I hug her to me, but she pushes me away and wiggles to be put down. She runs back to Mother’s legs and hangs on for dear life.
“We’d best be going,” Daddy says. He and Lena bend over to help Mother out of her chair, but Rebecca won’t let go of her leg. She’s wailing, which starts the babies crying too. My little brothers just stand back, watching, but their faces are long. “Take this child away,” Daddy barks at me. I pull Rebecca away, astonished at how strong she is. I wrap my arms around her thrashing body and sink into the armchair with her as Lena and Daddy help Mother out the door. Mother glances back once, but Daddy pulls her forward. Deborah has come into the room to help Nanette with the twins, and Rebecca quits struggling but sobs into my chest. One by one, she is losing her family. First Taviana. Now Mother. How will she feel when I too leave the day after tomorrow? I keep holding her until she cries herself to sleep.
DADDY AND LENA returned to Unity late last night. The hospital wouldn’t let them stay with Mother all night, and having no other place to go, they came home.
The house has been quiet today. Nobody has the energy for bickering. We go about our chores and quietly pray for Mother.
I’m putting clean sheets on the beds in the girls’ room when Deborah finds me. She stands in the doorway and watches for a moment. I simply ignore her.
“I understand you’ve been assigned to Mr. Nielsson,” she says.
I nod and shake a clean sheet over a mattress.
“That’s very exciting,” she says, joining me at the bed. “Mr. Nielsson is known to be a kind and caring husband.” She tucks in the sheet and helps me straighten blankets.
“That’s what he told me.”
“You could do a lot worse,” she says.
“He told me that too.”
“You don’t sound very happy,” she says.
I don’t bother answering. She knows why I’m being rushed into marriage.
“Your father asked me to find you something to wear on Sunday,” she says. “Would you like to see it?”
I simply shrug.
“I know your mother will wish she were here, but I guess that’s not possible.”
“You don’t think Daddy would consider postponing the ceremony until the baby’s been born?”
“Apparently not. He asked me to help you get ready for Sunday.”
“What else are you supposed to do?”
“Well,” she says, sitting down on one of the beds. “I’m supposed to talk to you about husband-wife relations.”
I feel my face burn. “I know about them.”
“You do?” Her eyes widen.
“Girls talk. I’ve heard.”
“Oh.” She looks so relieved I almost laugh. “Well then, I’ll bring you the dress later. Let me know if it needs any altering. I don’t think it should. It’s the same one Pam wore when she married your father, and you look close to the same size. Is there anything else I can do to help you prepare?”
Deborah and I have never gotten along very well, but suddenly I realize that she might be my best hope for delaying my imminent marriage. I sit beside her on the bed. “Deborah, I’m so worried about Mother,” I tell her honestly. “I’m not in a good state of mind to get married. I admit, I’m not keen on getting married at all, but if I have to, I want it to be as perfect as I can make it.” That part’s not quite so honest. “Do you think there’s any way you can convince Daddy to delay it for me? I really think it’s only fair to Mr. Nielsson.”
She regards me. Then she puts her arm awkwardly around my shoulders. “I’ll see what I can do, Celeste. I agree, and it’s not really fair for your mother to have her eldest daughter married while she is away like this. I’d want to be there for my daughter.”
“Thanks, Deborah. I knew you’d understand.”
Actually, I didn’t expect that at all, but she is a mother of daughters too, so I should have realized she might see it from that point of view.
DEBORAH LOOKS AT me across the kitchen table at breakfast. She shakes her head and frowns. Then her eyes drop to her plate. I feel the blood drain from my head. Has something happened to Mother?
Daddy turns to me. “I’m going into Springdale to see your mother this morning,” he says. “Perhaps you’d like to come with me so she can give you her blessing for tomorrow’s ceremony. Lena will also be coming, and we’ll do the shopping while you’re with Irene.”
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Deborah had only been telling me that she couldn’t get the ceremony postponed. It wasn’t bad news about Mother, which is a
huge relief, but now I have no hope of postponing the ceremony. My heart sinks.
This is my last day, ever, of being just a girl. Tomorrow I will be a wife.
I nod at my father. “How soon are we leaving?”
Chapter Eighteen
Taviana
I watch Jon’s face as he slides the salt and vinegar potato chip onto his tongue. His mouth puckers. “Yuck!” he says and passes the bag back to me.
I smile and continue eating them. It’s been fun introducing him to junk food. Mostly he doesn’t like it. I don’t crave it much anymore either, but it’s nice to have the odd treat.
We’re at the park in town. I haven’t found a job, or a place to live, and my days are running out fast.
“I still don’t understand why you don’t go back to school,” he says. “We’d be there together, watching out for each other.”
“Trust me, Jon. You’ll be fine. I wouldn’t be. I’ve tried it before.”
I was so stoked to see Jon when Jimmy brought him to Abigail’s house that I gave him a big hug. It was like seeing an old friend, even though I’d only met him once. He’d agreed to all of Abigail’s rules, and Jimmy was hoping to find him a job in construction for the summer. Abigail figured there was no sense starting school at this point in the spring, but she was going to meet with the school counselors to determine what grade he should start at in the fall. She also hoped to pick up some books for him to study over the summer to help him catch up. He hadn’t been in school since he was fourteen.
For the first couple of days he seemed delighted to be at Abigail’s. He knew Selig and Matthew and had met Jimmy when Jimmy visited Unity. Abigail showered him with attention. She seemed more comfortable around the boys than she did around me. Jon was amazed by TV and was happy to watch it all day.
He’d been mopier the last couple of days. I suspect the overwhelming truth of what he’d done had sunk in, and he was probably feeling miserable about hurting his family. He would be missing Celeste too, and his home. When he asked me what I thought her father would do to her, I could only shrug. A quick marriage was my best guess, but I didn’t tell him that.
I brought him into town with me today to take his mind off things. “Let’s go to the library,” I suggest.
He nods and follows me out of the park. I push open the door and the librarian greets me. “Taviana, your card is ready.”
“All right!” I go over to her desk and collect it from her. “Now I can read every single last book in this place,” I say.
She laughs and wishes me luck. I introduce her to Jon. “Would you like to apply for a card too?” she asks him.
He looks to me for assistance. “Yes, he would,” I tell her. “He’s new to libraries, but I know he’s going to love them as much as I do.”
He smiles and nods at the woman.
She pushes the form across the counter to him. “Just fill it in,” she tells him, “and we’ll make you a card, and then you’ll be free to read every single last one of the books
in this place too.”
Jon’s eyebrows arch as he looks around. “Okay,” he says, sounding uncertain.
The librarian and I laugh. “I’ll give him a tour,” I tell her.
I show him how the books are separated into categories, as well as fiction and non-fiction. He asks if there are books on cars. I lead him to the right section and leave him there while I browse through the novels. Then I show him the computers. I sit him down at one and attempt to explain how the Internet works. I ask him what he wants to learn about. He thinks for a moment and says, “Inuksuk.” That throws me for a moment, but then I remember Celeste telling me that they were building them together on the beach. I type in the word inuksuk, and we watch as a list of sites appear. I show him how to point the cursor at the first site and right-click on the mouse.
A moment later a page appears with photos of all different kinds of inuksuk. I show him how to scroll down to find more information.
“Look at them all,” he says. He looks up at me, standing beside him, a big smile on his face. “This is amazing!” The smile turns sad. “I wish I could show this to Celeste.”
I nod. “You can find a lot of cool stuff on the Internet,” I tell him.
“Are there books on inuksuk too?” he asks
We go to the library catalog, and I show him how to look for them. Then we find our way to the rack where the books on the Inuit culture are shelved. He pulls one after another off the rack. “I’d sure like to read these,” he says.
“Choose two,” I tell him, “and I’ll take them out on my card. When you get your own card, you can take out as many as you want.”
Back at the front desk, I pass the librarian the stack of books I plan to borrow with my new card. As she’s signing them out for me, she asks if I know of any students who are looking for summer employment.
“Doing what kind of work?” I ask, trying to remain calm.
“Mostly shelving returned material,” she says. “To cover for our staff who take summer holidays. But we also have a summer reading club for children, and we need some enthusiastic people to help run that program as well. It would include reading stories to our youngest patrons.”
Jon and I look at each other. “Well, go on,” he says.
“How do I apply?” I ask the librarian.
“You’re looking for work?” she asks.
I nod.
“Well, that’s wonderful! I was secretly hoping you were when I asked. You seem like the kind of girl who would like working in a library.”
“How did you figure that out?” I laugh, glancing at my stack of books.
She steps into her office and brings back a job application form.
“Can I fill this in right now?” I ask.
“Sure.” She hands me a pen. “You can sit at one of those tables.” She motions to an area where people are working.
Jon sits across from me, filling in his library card application. When we’re finished, we turn in both forms.
“I will put in a good word for you,” she tells me and winks.
“Thank you! I’d love to shelve books and work with children. It sounds like a perfect job.”
“We’ll call you when we start interviewing, which should be the middle of next week.”
“Oh.”
“Is something the matter?”
“No, not really. I’d just hoped to hear sooner than that.”
“We have to go through the proper procedure. But I’m sure you have a very good chance at the job.”
“Thanks. I hope so.”
Outside the library, I slump onto a bench. “I have to leave Abigail’s in a couple of days. She gave me one week to stay with her, so I won’t be at the phone number I put on my application.”
“Maybe she’ll give you an extension.”
“Maybe.” But I know her reputation for sticking with the rules.
WHILE WE’RE WAITING for the bus, I see someone with a long dress walking into the hardware store across the street. Someone from Unity. It has to be one of Kelvin’s wives on their weekend shopping expedition.
“I just thought of something I need,” I tell Jon. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.” I jog across the street and slip into the store. Sure enough, there’s Kelvin in the automotive section. He’s discussing something with the salesperson. I see Lena browsing in the gardening area.
“Lena,” I whisper, hiding behind a display of rakes.
She hears me and looks up. Her mouth drops open when she sees me. I move into the lighting aisle, hidden from the automotive section. Lena follows me.
“How is everyone?” I ask her.
“Irene’s not good,” she whispers. “She’s in the hospital here. Celeste is with her.”
“What’s wrong?”
“High blood pressure, swollen hands and feet.” She peers around to see if Kelvin can hear our conversation.
“How about Celeste? What happened to her after Jon left?”
She checks over her shoulder again. “She’s getting married tomorrow. To Martin Nielsson.”
“Martin Nielsson? Jon’s father?”
Lena nods.
I can’t believe it. Now that I’m once again on the outside, the traditions of The Movement seem much stranger.
“How are you?” Lena asks me.
“I’m surviving. But I miss all of you.”
Lena smiles gently. Then her eyes narrow. “Kelvin and I will be here for a while yet. Why don’t you go see Celeste and Irene at the hospital?”
My heart leaps. “I will. Right now. Thanks, Lena.”
She slides out of the lighting aisle and continues browsing in the gardening area.
I race across the street to where Jon is sitting with our stack of books. “Celeste is at the hospital right now!” I tell him, out of breath.
He sits up. “What’s the matter?”
“It’s her mother. She’s there visiting.”
“Oh.” He stares at me, not quite comprehending.
“We can go over there right now,” I tell him. “You can see her.”
Now his eyes widen. He grabs the bag with all the books. “Which way?”
We jog down the street and round the corner. We can see the hospital at the end of the block. “I will go up and see them,” I tell Jon. “And then I’ll try to talk to Celeste alone. I’ll tell her you’re waiting in the front lobby. When she finds you, the two of you need to get out of the lobby as fast as you can so that when her father returns, he won’t see you.”
“Where will we go?”
“I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”
He nods.
“And Jon, there’s something else you need to know.”
“Yeah?”
“Celeste is getting married. Tomorrow.”
His eyes widen. “She is?”
I nod and take a deep breath. “To your father.” I exhale heavily.
He just stares at me, and then he turns completely around so his back is to me. His hands go to his face.
I put my hand on his back. “Are you going to be okay?”
His head bobs, but he doesn’t turn around.
“We don’t have much time, so I’m going to go find them now.”
His head bobs some more. I turn and walk down the street.
Chapter Nineteen
CELESTE
Daddy and Lena have gone off to do the shopping, so I’m alone with Mother. The nurses have insisted that she wear the standard hospital gown, so she has a blanket pulled right up under her chin despite the heat in the room.
“You will adjust to your new family very quickly, I’m sure,” Mother says, though I can see the look of concern in her eyes. One by one, her helpers are disappearing. First Taviana and now me, and it means a lot more work for the other wives. There have already been signs of resentment from Lena and Deborah, and the fact that Mother gets special attention from Daddy doesn’t help matters.
“Perhaps Mr. Nielsson will allow me to return each day t
o help Nanette,” I say. “Just until you are well again.”
“Perhaps,” she says. “Though it’s usually best to cut the ties right away, to help you adjust to your new family.”
“But it’s different right now,” I tell her. “It won’t be for long. Didn’t you say the doctors want to deliver your baby early?”
“That’s what they said.” She sighs. “But it all depends on whether your father will allow me to sign the consent papers. He’s determined that I deliver this baby naturally.”
“How do they want to deliver it?”
“By surgery. They think it should come out now and that labor might be too hard on me.”
“Then just sign those consent papers!”
She sighs again. “I need his permission, but I think he’ll come around.”
I don’t know whether she truly believes that or not. It was hard enough for Daddy to consent to her being in the hospital.
“But let’s talk about you, Celeste. I am so disappointed that I won’t be at the ceremony tomorrow. You’ll let Deborah do your hair and help you get dressed?”
I shrug. “I can manage it myself.”
I see Mother staring at someone behind me, so I turn around to see who is there. For a moment I don’t recognize her. And then I’m on my feet and in her arms. “Taviana!”
When I finally let her go, there are tears streaming down both our cheeks. She turns to my mother. “Irene.”
“Taviana.” Mother’s eyes are filled with tears too. “How did you know to find us here?”
Taviana sits on Mother’s bed and picks up her hand. “I saw Lena in town. I was able to talk to her without Kelvin seeing us. I hope you don’t mind.”
“It is so wonderful to see you. How are you?”
She shrugs. “Not bad. I’m not living on the streets yet. And I just applied for a job working at the library.”
“That’s terrific!” my mother says, though I know she believes the library is stocked with books that fill people’s heads with impure thoughts. I believed that not so long ago too. Now I’m not so sure. Taviana’s stories always seemed harmless.
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