I Have Lived And I Have Loved: A Charity Romance Collection

by Willow Winters

  “Sierra—” Kolton starts, but I cut him off, needing to get it all out.

  “When Blakely found out she was pregnant, she was terrified. And the day we heard Zane’s heartbeat, I realized how badly I messed up. I didn’t even know about Keegan. She should’ve been able to come to me, but she didn’t. She considered giving Zane up because she didn’t think she had any other choice, and my heart broke. I vowed that day to make it up to her. All the years I spent pushing her away, I would make it right.”

  “And that’s why you work at a restaurant you hate, to pay all the bills so your sister could keep Zane and get her degree.”

  “Yeah,” I breathe, staring out at the ocean. “It’s more than that, though. Blakely never gave up on me, and now it’s my turn to be there for her. And if I date you and we don’t work out, I could risk her happiness. Did you see how ecstatic she was to give Zane more family?”

  “I understand how important your sister is to you because I feel the same way about my brother, but it doesn’t mean you can’t find your own slice of happiness.”

  “True…” I turn my head to look at him. “But it can’t be with you. I feel the connection between us, the spark, the chemistry, and I don’t want to end up like my mom. She loved my dad with all of her being, and in the end, her love for him killed her.”

  Kolton reaches over and pulls me onto his lap, so I’m straddling his thighs. With both hands, he cups the sides of my face. “I know firsthand how easily a single choice can affect someone else’s life, and I would never purposely put you in danger. If you give me your heart, Sierra, I promise to always protect it, handle it with care, and provide the love it needs to thrive. After my brother died, I didn’t think I deserved to find love or be happy, but then I walked into that bar. With just one look at you, I knew I needed you in my life. The way you danced behind the bar reminded me of how carefree my brother was, and when your eyes glittered with mischief, I swear, it was as if he sent you to me.”

  “Kolton.” I gasp. “You can’t say that. I can’t possibly live up to those expectations…”

  “It’s the truth, and the only expectation I have is for you to give us a chance. To see if things can be as good as I believe they can be.”

  “And if it doesn’t work out between us?”

  “You have my word that no matter what happens, I will make sure our families are never affected.” He glides his hands down the curve of my neck and across my shoulder to land on my hip. “Please, just give us one chance. We’ve both been through hell, and we deserve to find a bit of happiness, especially since your sister and my brother have found it.”

  Well, hell, how do I say no to that? “Okay, I’ll give us a chance. We’ll start with one date and see where it goes from there. When?”

  Kolton’s face splits into the most gorgeous two-dimple grin. “Tonight, so you don’t have time to back out.”

  I laugh. “We’re already out.” I run my hands up his shoulders and snake them around his neck.

  “No way.” He shakes his head. “I want a real date. One where I pick you up and take you out.”

  “Fine. Tonight it is. I’m watching Zane for Keegan tomorrow night. He’s taking Blakely away for the night.”

  “Perfect.” He moves his hands around to the globes of my ass and lifts us both into a standing position. “Better get you back to work. You’ve taken a helluva break.”

  “Actually, you can take me home.” I pull out my phone and text Sonora—the owner of The Orange Sunrise and my boss—to let her know I won’t be back in.

  The ride home is different than the other rides we’ve taken, and I know it’s because there’s been a shift between us. I’ve given in, and by doing so, I’ve lowered the wall I had erected. In turn, Kolton feels less tense, as if my agreeing to go out with him has relaxed him.

  Like the gentleman he is, he walks me to the door when we arrive at my place. Only, instead of saying goodbye, he gently pushes me against the wall. With one hand next to my head and the other gripping my hip, he leans in and brushes his lips against my cheek.

  “You won’t regret this,” he murmurs into my ear, causing a shiver to race up my spine. “I can feel it. It’s going to be so damn good.”

  He kisses the shell of my ear and then backs up. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

  Chapter 6

  Kolton

  * * *

  “What’s so important that you couldn’t text me or tell me over the phone?” Keegan asks when I walk through the door. I’ve been meaning to talk to him about something, but he’s been at Blakely’s more than he’s been home lately.

  “We need to talk.” I drop my briefcase on the couch and sit at the table where Keegan types away on his laptop.

  “Yeah, I gathered that. So, what’s up?”

  “I ran into Blakely and that asshole Brenton the other day… He had her pinned against the wall.”

  Keegan’s head snaps up, giving me his full attention. “In what way?”

  “Like he was threatening her or some shit. I couldn’t hear what was being said, but Blakely looked scared. She tried to play it off, but I got a weird vibe. Something isn’t right.”

  “No, it’s not,” Keegan agrees. “I just need a little more time, and that fucker is going down.”

  “Good. That guy is bad news.”

  “I heard about your date tonight.” Keegan smirks, changing the subject. “She finally gave in, huh?”

  “Yeah, now I just need to find a way to keep her.”

  “I’ll be staying at Blakely’s tonight, so you have the place to yourself.”

  “I already told you I’m not going to rush shit.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Anyway, it’ll be empty. Just make sure she’s home by early afternoon tomorrow. She’s watching Zane for me so I can take Blakely away.” He waggles his brows and stands. “I just came home to handle a couple of things. I’m heading back over to Blakely’s. Guess I’ll see you later.” He winks, and I chuck a pillow at his annoying ass.

  I spend the afternoon attempting to grade papers, but eventually, I give up when the only thing I can think about is Sierra and what I’m going to do for our date tonight. I could take her to the same restaurant I had reservations at the night Keegan found out about Zane, and she bailed, but that feels like bad luck.

  No, I need something different—special.

  And then an idea hits.

  Chapter 7

  Sierra

  * * *

  I’m in the bathroom, applying the last touch of makeup to my face, when the sound of someone knocking reverberates through the small apartment. Shit! Is it already six o’clock? A few moments later, Zane squeals in delight. Words are spoken, but they’re muffled, and then the pitter-patter of his feet gets louder and louder until he ends up in the bathroom with me.

  “Uncle Kolton’s here,” he says, stopping in front of me. “He said he’s taking you on a date.” His nose scrunches up in disgust. “Are you going to kiss him like Mommy kisses Daddy?”

  “Mayybbbeeee,” I taunt.

  “Ewww. Kissing is gross! Girls have cooties!”

  “What?” I gasp. “Are you saying I’ll give you cooties if I kiss you right now?”

  I widen my eyes, and Zane shrieks, knowing what’s coming. Before he can dart out the door, I pick him up by his waist and pull him into my arms, raining kisses all over his face.

  “Auntie Sierra, stop!” he yells through his giggles as I walk us out to the living room, not stopping my assault on his face until we arrive.

  When we reach the living room, I drop him to the ground, stifling my laughter at all the lipstick kisses I left all over his face that he doesn’t know about.

  “Yuck!” Zane complains, wiping his mouth, the only spot I didn’t actually kiss. “Uncle Kolton, you better be careful. Girls have cooties.”

  “Hey,” Blakely says, mock hurt in her tone. “I don’t have cooties.”

  “I know that,” Zane agrees. “Because you’re not a
girl. You’re a mom.”

  Kolton and Keegan both chuckle under their breath.

  “I’ll be careful, bud,” Kolton says, “but if she tries to kiss me, I might have to risk getting cooties.”

  Zane gives him an incredulous look as if he can’t believe Kolton would even consider such a thing. “I’m gonna watch the SpongeBob movie with my daddy and mommy.” He shrugs and heads over to the couch to get comfortable.

  “All right,” Keegan says, his tone serious. “Curfew is eleven. No drinking and driving, and remember… no glove, no love.” He whips a condom out of his pocket and throws it at Kolton.

  “Oh my God, Keegan!” Blakely smacks him in the chest. “Go make us some popcorn.” She pushes him toward the kitchen. “Have fun, guys!”

  “But not too much fun!” Keegan calls back as they disappear.

  Once they’re gone, my attention turns to Kolton. He’s dressed in a forest green, short-sleeved collared shirt that shows off the ink on his forearms and biceps, a pair of nice blue jeans, and black dress shoes. His wrist holds a chunky silver watch. He’s shaved since I saw him earlier, leaving only enough to be considered a five o’clock shadow, and when he steps closer, I smell a light scent of vanilla mixed with woods.

  “You look beautiful, Sierra. Fucking gorgeous.” His words are softly spoken, so Zane can’t hear. “That dress…” He rakes his eyes down my body, sending goose bumps along my flesh. “I think I made a mistake.”

  “What? Why?” I breathe. He asked for this date over and over again, and now he’s not sure? I don’t understand. Is it what I’m wearing? I glance down at myself. I went with a pale pink floaty dress and a pair of knee-high suede boots since I wasn’t sure if he would be picking me up on his motorcycle.

  “I wanted you all to myself, so I planned to take you back to my place, but seeing you dressed like this with your makeup and hair done… It feels like it’s a damn waste not to take you out and show you off.” He runs his fingers along the edge of my dress where it meets my collarbone, and the area between my legs clench in sudden need. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve been looked at and appreciated like Kolton’s doing right now.

  “C’mon, Romeo.” I hook my arm in his. “I promise you this dress will not go to waste.”

  As suspected, Kolton drove his bike over here. He climbs on, and I follow. Because the bottom of my dress is flowy, I’m able to sit behind him without exposing myself to the entire town of Carterville. But when Kolton takes off, and his hand lands on the exposed flesh of my thigh, I couldn’t care less about the town or the people or anyone besides Kolton.

  With my body up against his, my center rubs against his lower back, causing friction. The sensation causes my nipples to pebble through my thin bra and dress, and I tighten my legs, wondering if Kolton can sense how turned on I am.

  All too quickly, we arrive at his place. He places his hand in mine to help me off the bike, and the sparks between us flow like a live electrical current.

  “This is it,” he says, closing the door behind us. “I made dinner. Are you hungry?” My eyes meet his, and I know he’s feeling what I’m feeling. The thick sexual tension. The desire to touch each other. The need to be close to each other. But this is only our first date. You don’t have sex on the first date, right?

  “I’m starving,” I say, my voice breathy.

  His brows rise, understanding my double innuendo. “Good. I am too.” Lacing our fingers, he walks us to the dining room. The lights are dim, and table is set with beautiful-looking china. In the center, he turns on two electric candles to illuminate the room along with a bottle of wine.

  He releases my hand and uncorks the wine, pouring us each a glass. “To our first date,” he says with a sexy grin, making my insides turn to mush.

  “To us,” I agree. We clink our glasses, and he throws his back like a shot, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows. A fantasy of me licking down each ridge of his throat and sucking on his flesh hits me hard.

  It suddenly feels hot in here, so I down my own glass and grab the bottle to pour myself some more.

  “You okay?” he asks, his tone more knowing than concerned.

  “Yeah,” I breathe. “Just… hot.” I lift my hair to emphasize my point, but since the burning ache comes from inside me, it does nothing to put the flames out.

  Kolton steps closer, and the air thickens, making it hard to breathe, to function, to think clearly. “I can see the look on your face,” he murmurs. “The flush creeping up your neck… I can see the way your squeezing your thighs together… And if I were any less of a gentleman, I would act on it. I would pull that dress up to your waist and pull your underwear down your thighs, and then I would ravish every inch of your body until you begged me to make you come. But I didn’t bring you back here to fuck you, and if I do just that, you’re going to think I did. And like I told you before, Sierra, I want you long term. Not for the night or the weekend… I want you forever. So, instead of letting my dick call the shots, I’m going to grab our dinner warming in the kitchen, and we’re going to eat and talk.”

  “Okay,” I say, swallowing thickly. He turns to leave, but before he does, I grab his arm, making him turn back to look at me. “But let’s say I wanted to think with my pussy…”

  Kolton groans. “Sierra…”

  “Would you fuck me?” I wrap my arms around his neck. I don’t know what the hell has gotten into me, and I really don’t care. Maybe it’s stupid, and maybe it’s crazy, but with Kolton, it feels right. I’ve spent the past five years focused on Blakely and Zane, hooking up with guys I knew I didn’t have a future with so I wouldn’t have to worry about catching feelings. But with Kolton, I know he’s the one. It’s the reason I’ve pushed him away. I was scared. But I’m not anymore. I want him now.

  In me, on top of me, all over me.

  “Would you take me right here on the table? Make me scream your name?”

  Kolton’s answer is to lift me into his arms and lay me on top of the table. The china clinks, and some of it might even land on the floor, but neither of us cares enough to look.

  His mouth crashes against mine, his tongue plunging past my parted lips, capturing and swirling with my own. My legs wrap around his waist, my center grinding against his already growing erection.

  “Fuck,” he hisses against my mouth as I reach for his pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them. I push his briefs down and feel his dick spring free.

  “Sierra,” he moans, breaking our kiss when I wrap my fist around his shaft and stroke it up and down. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.” He runs his thumb along my swollen lips. “I was supposed to wine and dine you. Convince you to go on a second and third date with me.”

  “Didn’t you say what’s between us is inevitable? That we’re forever?”

  “And you said you were scared.”

  “And I am,” I admit. “But I also feel it… what you feel. And I’m done living my life in fear.” I latch onto his shirt and tug him toward me so our bodies are flush with only my hand wrapped around his dick between us. “If we crash and burn, then at least I can say it was a hell of a ride.”

  He stares at me for a long beat, and I wonder if he’s going to push me away and tell me we’re going too fast. I hold my breath, hoping he does neither.

  “It will definitely be a hell of a ride,” he growls. “But nobody is getting hurt.” His mouth fuses with mine. He bites, sucks, and nibbles on my lips.

  We’re all teeth and tongue.

  Hands touching and caressing.

  Needing and wanting.

  As if neither of us can get enough.

  He pulls my dress up my body and unlatches my bra, exposing my breasts to the cool air. He wraps his lips around my nipple, and his tongue lashes back and forth across the hardened tip. Bolts of electricity spark inside me as if he has a direct line to my clit.

  “Kolton,” I moan, pumping his cock harder. Squeezing it in desperation.

  He kisses his way d
own my middle, and when he gets to my belly, I lose my connection with his dick. He presses an open-mouthed kiss to the top of my silk-covered mound before he tugs my panties off, dropping them onto the floor.

  “I need to taste you,” he murmurs, licking his lips as he spreads my thighs wide open.

  He drops to his knees, and his eyes glint in the darkness. His thumb and middle finger spread my folds open, and his forefinger strokes my center up and down, teasing my clit. “I bet you taste better than what I made for dinner.” He looks up at me. “What do you think?”

  I’m not sure if I’m supposed to respond, but it doesn’t matter because when the flat of his tongue lands on my center, I’m rendered speechless. My hands fist the edge of the wood table as Kolton devours my pussy like a starved man. He works me up, licking and sucking on my clit, bringing me to the brink of my orgasm before his mouth leaves my pussy.

  “What the hell!” I hiss, my chest rising and falling in quick succession.

  “I was right. You taste fucking delicious.” Standing, he reaches behind him to pull his shirt over his head. As it rises, each of his cut abs makes an appearance until he’s displayed his entire upper body. He’s all ink and muscle and—

  Holy shit! He drops his pants and briefs, and his dick juts out. Thick and veiny with a tiny bead of pre-cum dripping out of the mushroom tip.

  “My turn,” I breathe, not even caring that I never got my orgasm as I slide off the edge of the table and drop to my knees. I lift his shaft and run my tongue along the velvety smooth flesh. When I get to the top, I lick the saltiness away, swirling my tongue around the angry head, and then take him all the way into my mouth until he bottoms out in the back of my throat. I do this several times, getting his dick nice and wet. He’s hard as steel, and I can practically feel him throbbing in need.