Every Moment with You_Redeeming Love

by J. E. Parker

  He shook his head. Raising a blood sprinkled hand, he grabbed my wrist. “Please… listen.”

  Pop’s head lolled to the side. Was he about to pass out? “Maddie,” he said, spitting out a wad of saliva tinged with blood, “let her go.”

  No fucking way.

  “If you don’t, Petrov will take her. He’ll…” Pop groaned in pain. “He’ll make her a part of his stable.” Stable? Prostitution?

  I was going to be sick.

  “Hendrix…” I dropped my head and covered my face with my hands as Pop spoke. “Let. Her. Go.”

  Unable to speak, I simply stood there with my heart in my throat.

  “Has to be public.” His half-swollen eyes watered. “Has to be bad. Make it—” he coughed up more blood “—believable.”

  Deflated, I said, “I can’t leave her. She’s my everything!” It was the truth.

  Pop fell onto his side and cursed. Moments passed before he spoke again. “Doesn’t have to be forever.” He tried to push himself up but couldn’t. “Just until—”

  I couldn’t take anymore. Turning around, I stormed to the front door. Twisting the knob, I jerked it open. I looked over my shoulder as I stepped through the threshold. There were so many things I wanted to say to him.

  Tilting my head back, I inhaled. Through the pain, I managed to speak. “I hope you’re happy, Pop.” He clawed at the floor as he tried to push himself up. “You just cost me everything.”

  He didn’t acknowledge me in any way.

  Shaking my head, I hit him with a parting shot. “I hope it hurts, Pop, you worthless son of a bitch.”

  I walked out the door without looking back.

  Hendrix

  Sitting on the edge of the trestle bridge, I stared up at the full moon.

  It was the first time I’d been here since Maddie left for Vanderbilt. It wasn’t the same without her. It was like all the magic was missing.

  I smiled, thinking back to the first time I brought her here. I’ll never forget that night as long as I live. Tasting her lips on mine, hearing her confess that she loved me.

  I’d give anything to go back to that night.

  Tapping my busted knuckles against my leg, I whispered to the star-filled sky. “I miss you, pretty girl. So, fucking much.”

  Agony swirled in my chest. I couldn’t believe what I was about to do.

  But what choice did I have? I mean, as much as I hated to say it, Pop was right. It didn’t matter if I won the fight or not, Petrov wasn’t going to take his sights off Maddie. For some reason that I didn’t understand, he seemed hell-bent on destroying Pop and, by extension, me.

  No one I cared about was safe.

  I thought about going to the cops for help, but this was the Russian mob we were talking about. They probably had enough badges on their payroll to bury any formal complaint I made. Not to mention I couldn’t do anything to piss off Petrov or he’d go after my girl.

  Pop said he wanted her for his stables. Just the thought made me sick. The son of a bitch would have to kill me before I ever let anything like that happen. I didn’t have murder in my heart, but if I had to slit his throat to save Maddie, so be it.

  I’d use a dull knife and do it with a smile on my face.

  Nobody, and I mean nobody, messed with my pretty girl.

  With going to the cops for help out of the question, I had no options left. I guess I could have taken Maddie and made a run for it but how far would we have gotten? Aside from what I’d seen on television, I didn’t know a lot about the Mafia. But I knew they could find us wherever we went. Or else they’d just kill everyone we loved.

  Keith. Grandmama.

  I couldn’t let that happen.

  My only choice was to take the fight—like I’d already agreed—and win. That would take care of Pop’s debt, but it wouldn’t save Maddie.

  To save her, I had to do something more drastic. More torturous.

  I had to hurt her.

  All the promises I’d made, all the assurances I’d given her, and all the trust we’d built were about to be thrown out the window. Eleven years’ worth of memories and enough love to last a lifetime were about to be crushed.

  With just a few simple words and meaningless actions, I was going to destroy the only person that I’d ever loved.

  All to save her.

  Months later, after I’d won the fight and Petrov had moved on, I prayed I’d find a way to make her forgive me. To make her understand.

  If I didn’t… Hell, I didn’t even want to think about it. It didn’t matter anyway. Maddie would understand. When she found out the truth, she’d forgive me. And slowly we could begin to put the pieces back together again.

  At least I hoped we could.

  Without Maddie, my life wasn’t worth living. I hadn’t been lying all those years ago when I told her she was my entire heart. She was. Without her, I wouldn’t exist.

  Maddie was my entire goddamn life.

  She was my heart. My soul. She was the very air I breathed.

  My phone once again began to ring.

  I instantly recognized the ring tone. Maddie. Panicked, I pulled the phone out of my back pocket. Accepting the call, I lifted the phone to my ear. “Maddie, you okay, baby?”

  She giggled, and I exhaled in relief. “I’m fine, handsome. I didn’t wake you, did I? I figured you were already up since it’s a training day and all.”

  I had no idea what time it was, but it must have been close to four. “Nah, pretty girl. I’ve been up.” I rubbed a hand down my face. “What are you doing awake? Shouldn’t you be asleep and having filthy dreams about me?” I joked, trying to ease the crushing feeling taking root in my chest.

  She laughed before replying, “You’re such a perv.” I could practically see her rolling her eyes at me. “I woke up at a little after midnight. I tried going back to sleep but no luck.”

  She woke a little after midnight, right when I got the call from Petrov. She knew I was walking into trouble. Don’t ask me how she knew, but she did. I told you our souls were connected on a different level. I know a lot of people use the term soul mate loosely, but Maddie really was mine.

  “I’m sorry, baby. I hate that you didn’t sleep well, but I’m glad you called.” I looked out over the river that flowed beneath the bridge. It was so beautiful out there. For as long as I lived, this place would have a special place in my heart. Just like the pretty girl talking my ear off on the other end of the phone.

  An hour passed as I listened to Maddie go on and on about any and everything. Swear to God, I could listen to her talk all day. She talked about school, about her dad, and about Grandmama. She told me about her plans for her future, for our future. She squealed in excitement as she described what our wedding would be like and what she thought our future kids would look like.

  On and on she went. And I relished every second of it.

  The sun had just begun to rise when she said, “I guess I should let you go. I know it’s almost time for you to be at the academy.” My heart stalled, and my stomach bottomed out. “Hendrix?” She called my name when I didn’t answer her. “Are you still there?”

  Another fucking tear. “Yeah, baby, I’m here. I just love hearing you talk.” I dug the toe of my boot into the train track.

  Maddie snorted. “Guess it’s a good thing that I love to talk then, huh?”

  “Yeah baby, it is.”

  “Well, I’m going to let you go because I know you won’t say goodbye until I do.”

  If she only knew…

  “Maddie.” My voice was gruff as I spoke.

  “Yeah, handsome?”

  I tilted my head back and looked at the morning sky. Fucking Christ this wasn’t fair! “You know how much I love you, don’t you?”

  “Hendrix—” she started before I cut her off.

  “Tell me, baby. You do know how much I love you, right?”

  Her voice was quiet as she replied. “Yes. And I love you just the same.”

&
nbsp; “I need you to do something for me. I need you…” I couldn’t do this. Couldn’t fucking do it. Petrov would just have to kill us all because I couldn’t… “I need you to remember that, no matter what happens, I’ll always love you. You’re my entire world, pretty girl.”

  “Hendrix, what’s going on?”

  I pinched the bridge of my nose and dropped my gaze to the ground. “Nothing, baby. I just wanted—needed—you to know how much I love you.”

  Her, “I love you too, handsome,” was so soft and sweet my heart nearly combusted.

  More tears.

  None of the beatings that Pop had given me over the years hurt as badly as this. “I’ve gotta go, baby, but I’ll call you tonight. Alright?”

  “You better or else I’ll send Grandmama after you.” That made me smile. I could just see her coming at me with a rolling pin because Maddie was upset. Damn, she was going to hate me before this was over. “And Hendrix?”

  “Yeah, baby?”

  “I love you, handsome. Now, forever, and always.”

  My heart broke. “Love you too, pretty girl. Now, forever, and always.”

  It was the last time I heard her voice before everything fell apart.

  Part II

  “You can dismantle a heart, but you cannot silence it. My pieces would still speak your name.”

  —J.M. Storm

  Hendrix

  Six Years Later

  The liquor burned as it slid down my throat.

  Rum. Not Jack. I’d had enough Jack to last me a lifetime, and I’d never even tasted it.

  Thanks for that, Pop.

  The floor shifted beneath my feet, and chatter from the other—there weren’t many—patrons swirled around me as I leaned against the bar. My eyes felt heavy, and my throat felt raw. I was drunk. Not quite shit-faced, but I was well on my way.

  I slammed the empty glass down on the scarred wooden bar top. Ashley…Annie…Alice… hell, I couldn’t remember the bartenders name, rushed forward, almost tripping over herself to reach me.

  “What can I get ya, honey?” She leaned forward, and the deep cut of her shirt fell open, giving me a close-up view of her tits. Impressive, I thought. I pulled my eyes away from her rack and looked up at her face. Not impressive.

  “Rum.” She reached for another glass. “The bottle.” I hit my chest with a closed fist and burped. A voice—her voice—popped into my head. “You’re such a pig, Hendrix!” I smiled for a half second before the memory of her—of losing her— started to claw at me.

  Don’t think about her now!

  I needed more alcohol—STAT. “Just give me the damn bottle!”

  Flustered—Abby? Maybe that was her name—slid the bottle towards me. “Let me get you a clean glass, Hendrix.”

  Huh. She knew my name, but I didn’t know hers. Talk about awkward.

  “No need.” Putting the bottle to my mouth, I chugged. The cheap alcohol felt like acid as it slid down my throat and into my empty stomach.

  Minutes passed, and the room began to spin. “You okay, handsome?”

  I glared at—what’s her name—the bartender. “Don’t call me that.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest and shimmied her hips. “Why not?” A flirty smile tilted her lips up, and she leaned forward again, sticking her more-than-likely fake tits in my face for the second time in the last few minutes.

  My dick didn’t even twitch.

  I lifted my chin and slurred, “What’s your name?”

  “Veronica.” I wasn’t even close. “Don’t you remember me?”

  Should I? Please tell me I hadn’t screwed this girl and didn’t remember it. Even I didn’t stoop that low. “No.”

  Her smile disappeared, and an exaggerated pout appeared on her heavily made-up face. Exactly how many inches of make-up was she wearing? “We went to high school together!” As if yelling at me would jog my memory. “We were in the same Pre-Calc class together,” she prodded, “Mr. Henson, remember?”

  I remembered Pre-Calc. Didn’t remember her. Why would I? All through high school, my focus had solely been on one girl. “Don’t remember you.” I grabbed the bottle and took another gulp, spilling more than I drank.

  “Oh, come on! I sat beside Rebecca Deaton at the table right in front of you. We both had the biggest crush on you.”

  It didn’t matter where she sat. She could have been in the middle of my lap, and I still wouldn’t have noticed. “Not ringing a bell. Sorry.”

  She batted her eyelashes. “Sure, you don’t,” she teased.

  “I don’t.” I shrugged my shoulders and took another swig.

  Her mood changed in the blink of an eye. “You’re kidding me, right?” Why did I have to be kidding? The way she talked, you’d think she was Miss Universe or something. She wasn’t. Picking up a cleaning rag, she started wiping down the bar. “I mean, I know you had a girlfriend back then, but she was like…” her voice trailed off, and a disgusted look crossed her face.

  I froze at her words.

  Ah, hell.

  I shouldn’t have asked. I really shouldn’t have. I knew I’d regret it if I did, but her venom laced tone was too much to resist. “She was what?” There was no mistaking the tinge of anger in my voice. Six years—2410 days to be exact—later and I was still as protective of her as I always had been.

  Swear to God, if this girl said one bad thing about her, I’d throttle her.

  Vanessa—or was it Veronica?—eyes widened, and she dropped the rag into a white bucket sitting on the floor. She stepped back, and I stood up from my bar stool. “Finish what you started to say.” I was quickly losing the minute hold that I had on my temper. Her refusal to answer only made it worse. “Tell me what the hell your skank ass was about to say about my girl.”

  My girl. Technically she wasn’t mine anymore. Didn’t mean I didn’t still consider her mine though. I always would.

  “Nothing, Hendrix.” She backed up another step and rolled her eyes, trying her best to act nonchalant. “Just forget I said anything. Obviously, you’re not interested in talking to me anyway.”

  She was right. I wasn’t interested, but I wasn’t letting this go either. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was something about this girl that I did remember. And whatever it was, I had a feeling it wasn’t good.

  Determined to hear what was going on in her head, I demanded, “Finish what you started to say.” She started to shake her head but stopped when I kept talking. “Else, I’m coming over this bar, and I’ll make you tell me.”

  And just like that, it clicked.

  My girl crying in the middle of Pre-Calc while this bitch sat in front of us, an evil sneer plastered across her face.

  “Why do they all hate me?” She’d whispered, tears falling down her cheeks.

  “Because they’re jealous.”

  “Why would they be jealous of me?”

  “Cause you’re the most beautiful girl in the world.”

  She shook her head, and her wounded eyes met mine. “Only to you.”

  I wrapped one arm around her shoulder and pulled her into my side. “Bullshit, Maddie.” Lifting her chin, I kissed the center of her forehead. “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world. Always have been. Always will be.”

  I forced a smile. “Wait a minute,” I looked her up and down, feigning interest. “I do remember you.”

  She smiled and sauntered towards me. “Yeah?

  “Yeah, baby.” Her eyes filled with lust as she moved in my direction. I leaned closer, placing my forearms on the bar before tightening my fists and tensing my shoulders. Then, through gritted teeth, I spit out, “I remember exactly what a vile cunt you are, and I remember exactly what you did to my girl.”

  I’d never forget it, either.

  The teasing. The taunting. I still remember the names they called her when they thought I wasn’t looking. Maggot. Loser. I hated every fucking one of them for what they did to her. Picking on her because they were jealous little sl
uts who were angry because they didn’t compare to her. She was so much prettier, smarter, and sweeter than any of them.

  The bartender stood straighter, pushed her tits higher, and rolled her eyes. “Oh please. I didn’t do anything to her she didn’t deserve.”

  I slammed my hands down on the bar—hard—and she gasped before jumping back. I was surprised when none of the men scattered around the place jumped up to defend her. What a bunch of worthless pussies.

  “Hendrix…” Her whiny voice grated on my nerves. I leaned over the bar and pointed my finger right at her ugly ass face.

  Never in my life have I hit a woman, and I’d put any man that did in the ground, but she didn’t know that. I could see the fear in her eyes when she looked at me. Fear laced with lust. Stupid wench couldn’t decide whether she wanted to fear, fight or fuck me.

  There would be no fighting, and there would be no fucking.

  Fear it was.

  “Tell me. Why did you hate her so much?” Spit flew from my mouth. I didn’t even bother to wipe the specks off from my chin. She thinned her lips and clenched her mouth shut, refusing to talk. Irritated, I demanded she answer me. “You’ve got to the count of three.” My face was red hot. “One.” I leaned closer. “Two.” I clenched my jaw. “T—”

  She began shouting, “She was always up your ass! Following you around like a puppy, smiling at you all the time. Y’all were always kissing and holding hands. It was disgusting.” The bar fell silent, and she pointed a shaky finger at me. “And you,” she hissed, “You were so obsessed with her that you couldn’t see anybody else. It was pathetic. You’re pathetic!”

  I looked around the room. Every single pair of eyes in the joint was glued to us. I spotted Maribelle, the bar owner, standing near the entrance to the kitchen area. Phone to her ear, brows furrowed, she was staring at me. I saw her nod once and then she hung up. I knew exactly who she was talking too.

  Great.

  I don’t know what everyone expected me to do about her little tirade, but I wasn’t going to do a damn thing. Long as she kept her mouth shut about Mad—