Every Moment with You_Redeeming Love

by J. E. Parker

  I didn’t bother to shut my apartment door as I rushed outside. Running as fast as I could, I moved towards my truck. Once I reached it, I jerked the door open so hard the hinges popped. Then I jumped in, started the engine, shifted into drive, and took off like a bat out of hell.

  I didn’t bother to check for oncoming traffic as I pulled out of my apartment complex.

  “I’m coming, pretty girl,” I whispered to the empty cab. “I’m fucking coming.”

  Hendrix

  I narrowly missed hitting Pop's truck as I slid to a stop in front of his house. He and Shelby both were already running towards me when I jumped out of my truck. "Pop!" I ran to the garage. “Open the fucking door! I need my bike.”

  Brows furrowed, Pop ran to his truck and grabbed the garage door opener.

  My entire body shook as I waited for the slow ass door to raise up enough for me to slide under. Falling to my stomach, I crawled underneath it. The garage was cluttered, and there was barely enough room to breathe much less walk. I spotted my dirt bike right away. Thankfully, it was still parked at the front.

  I didn't waste any time in straddling the seat and kick-starting the engine.

  The bike roared to life, and I shifted it into first and waited for the door to slide up a few more inches so I could clear it.

  One second.

  Two seconds.

  Three seconds.

  “Hendrix!” Shelby slipped under the door. “What the fuck are you doing?”

  I nodded at the bike. “I know where she is.”

  She threw her arms up into the air and Pop rushed to stand beside her. I looked at him. “She’s at the trestle.”

  His face paled, and he pointed towards the opened garage door. “Go! I’ll get Old Man Riley’s golf cart and meet you there!”

  I didn't respond as I pulled back on the throttle and rocketed forward. Turning the corner of the house, I saw Keith running towards me, but I didn't stop. Grandmama was close behind him, and she looked seconds away from falling apart. Her face was covered in tears, and her dress was soaked from the rain that had started to fall a few minutes earlier.

  I followed the fence towards the thick tree line. I spotted the path right away. It was still there, just a little grown up. Riding into the darkness of the woods, I pushed the bike until it reached its max speed. It was dangerous as fuck, and I wasn't wearing a helmet, but I didn't care. My only concern was getting to Maddie before it was too late.

  Minutes passed before the clearing came into view.

  Thank Christ.

  Riding through the overgrown field, I pulled up to the train tracks and jumped off the bike. I didn’t bother using the kickstand. I didn’t have time.

  I dug my boot covered feet into the soft ground as I ran up the small hill that led to the tracks. It hadn't been raining long, but the red Georgia clay was slick as hell.

  I fell once, landing on my knees before finally reaching the top.

  At the top, I turned right and faced the trestle.

  My heart stopped.

  Wearing a green dress, Maddie stood on the edge of the bridge, staring down at the water that flowed underneath. I couldn't let her jump. If she did, she'd never make it. The drop wasn't high enough to kill her, but there were giant boulders scattered throughout the water directly beneath her.

  She’d never clear them.

  I didn’t speak or call her name as I moved towards her. I was afraid that if I did, she’d jump before I had the chance to reach her. As quietly—and as quickly—as I could, I moved in her direction.

  Please, God, don’t let her jump.

  I was only ten feet away when she spotted me.

  Turning her head to the right, her eyes locked with mine. Her face was blank, completely devoid of all emotion. I stopped and held her gaze. “Maddie." My voice was calm, but I felt anything but. "Baby, I need you to step back from the edge. Can you do that for me?"

  She didn’t answer, just continued to stare at me with a lost look on her beautiful face. A look that I’d caused her to have. I took a step closer, and she flinched. Her body swayed, and my heart dropped to my goddamn stomach. “Maddie!”

  She tilted her head to the side. “Why are you here?” Her voice was soft but flat, completely monotone.

  I forced a smile and tried to pretend like my entire world wasn’t half a second away from collapsing. “I came to get you, pretty girl.”

  She blinked. Once. Twice. "Why?" She turned to face me fully and her flip-flop covered foot landed less than an inch away from the edge of a wet and slippery wooden beam.

  Shit.

  “Because you’re my girl.” I swallowed and tried to still my shaking hands. “Always have been.” I paused. “Always will be.”

  An emotion that I couldn’t decipher flickered in her eye for just a moment before it disappeared. “You don’t want me anymore.” It was a statement, not a question, but regardless, she was completely wrong.

  “Baby,” I moved another two inches, “I was angry when I said that shit.” Keep moving. “I didn’t mean a single word of it.”

  She shook her head. “You did mean it. But it’s okay because I understand. I kept our son a secret." Her face dropped forward, and she stared at her feet. "Besides, I hate myself more than you ever could."

  "You didn't keep him a secret!" My voice rose, and I internally cringed. "I saw the papers. You tried to tell me. But I ignored you. If anybody should hate themselves, it should be me." I clenched my right hand and hit myself in the chest. "I was the one who left you, forcing you to find a way to survive without me." I hit myself again, this time harder. "It should be me you hate, Maddie. Not yourself!”

  Her face turned red, and she balled her little hands into fists at her sides. She was mad. Good. In this situation, anger was a hell of a lot better than sadness. “I could never hate you!”

  I moved closer again. One inch. Two inches. Closer, closer, closer. “You still love me, Maddie?”

  She shook her head in what I’m guessing was frustration. “Are you stupid, Hendrix? Of course, I still love you! It’s not like I can just turn it off.”

  “Good,” I pointed towards the empty spot beside me, “then get your little ass over here.”

  She shook her head. Goddamn it! “Maddie, I swear to God, if you jump, I’m following you.” She looked even more confused. “You want me to die, pretty girl? Is that it? Because if you go, then I'm following right behind you. Don't care if I've got to follow you to the depths of hell, I'm not losing you again."

  Her face paled. "No, I don't want you to die!"

  “Then get your little ass away from the edge, right the fuck now!”

  She didn’t move. “You think I’m going to jump?”

  I nodded. “Isn’t that why you came out here? Why you left the letters? To say goodbye?”

  She licked her lips before crossing her arms over her chest. “I wrote the letters to explain. I couldn’t…” Her voice trailed off. "I didn't have the strength to tell anyone face to face, but everyone needed to know." She pulled her eyes away from mine and looked out over the water. "He deserved for everyone to know about him." She closed her eyes. "He deserved to be loved.”

  “He was loved.” She swung her gaze back to mine. “Is loved.” I took another small step. “I saw his picture. He was beautiful, Maddie.” And he was. He was so small that I couldn’t tell who he looked like, but I knew deep in my heart that he would’ve grown up to be a duplicate of his mama. Don’t know how I knew, but I did.

  If I’d only been around to save them both…

  Maddie smiled. “He was beautiful.”

  I swallowed and clenched my jaw tight. “If you’re not going to jump then why did you need to say goodbye?”

  Her smile fell, and tears glistened in her eyes. “Because I’m leaving.” Like hell she was. “I can’t stay here anymore, Hendrix. I didn’t come back to this place for six years because I couldn’t face the memories.” She dropped her arms from her chest and cla
sped her hands together in front of her. “And now I definitely can’t stay. Not after...”

  … I hurt her. Again.

  Close enough to grab her, I reached out, wrapped my arm around her waist, and yanked her into my chest. For the first time since I saw her standing on the ledge, I took a breath.

  I wrapped my fingers around her jaw and looked down at her. “Do you love me, Maddie?”

  She rolled her eyes. There’s my lil’ smartass. “Haven’t you figured out the answer to that question yet?”

  I pressed my nose to her forehead and inhaled deeply. “Answer me, pretty girl.” Her tense body seemingly relaxed at the term of endearment. “Do you still love me?”

  Tears fell from her eyes, and she nodded. “Yes.”

  A lump formed in my throat. “You going to forgive me for all the shit I said? All the shit I've done?" She nodded again, but it wasn't enough. I shook her a little. "Say it, baby."

  She bit her bottom lip before responding. “I’ve already forgiven you.”

  A small flicker of hope sparked deep in my chest and I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small satin box that I’d slipped in there before leaving my apartment. Earlier, when I’d gone into my bedroom to get dressed after she dropped a bomb in my lap, I went through her duffle bag. Why? I don’t know. But I found the ring. I took it with the intention of throwing it off the first bridge I crossed.

  Things had obviously changed.

  Christ, give me strength.

  I counted to five. One. Two. Three. Four Five. Then I took a deep breath and dropped to my knees.

  Maddie’s eyes widened, and her hands flew to cover her mouth. I smiled.

  Didn’t expect this did you, pretty girl?

  Popping open the lid on the box, I pulled out the same emerald that I'd slipped onto her finger over six years ago. Holding it in the palm of my hand, I spoke. "Six years ago, I told you that I could see our future together. I saw us married, saw us buying a house, saw us having kids." Maddie's eyes slammed shut, and her chin wobbled. "You've already given me a son—though I'm gonna want a couple more—and I've got enough money to buy us a house. Now all I need is for you to marry me, baby.”

  Her legs trembled, and I reached up, wrapping my hands around her hips in case she tumbled to the ground. “I’ve screwed up a lot, Maddie, and I’ll probably screw up in the future. Nothing like before but I'm not perfect, and I never will be. I'm possessive, I have a temper, and I've got enough mental and emotional scars to last me a lifetime." I licked my lips and kept going. "I'm dumber than a box of rocks, I can't read too well, and I’m a slob just like my father.” Her lips quirked but she didn’t open her eyes. “But I’m a hell of a mechanic, I’ve got a good job, and a big dick.”

  And just like that, my girl laughed. She fucking laughed. “Oh, my God!” She screamed and smacked my shoulder. “You did not just say that!”

  I chuckled and tightened my hold on her hips. "What do you say, pretty girl? Are you going to marry me so I can spend the rest of my life proving to you what a good husband, father, and overall man I can be? Or are you going to turn around and walk away, destroying both of us in the process?”

  Moments ticked by.

  Tick Tock. Tick Tock.

  And finally, she answered me. “Marry you.” Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. “I’m going to marry you.”

  It was the sweetest words I’d ever heard.

  Grabbing her hand, I positioned the ring at the tip of her finger. “I love you, pretty girl. Now, forever, and always.” Then, I slid the emerald up her finger and secured it in place.

  Maddie screamed and threw her hands up into the air. “I’m getting married!” Smiling, I stood up and wrapped my arms around her waist before picking her up. She wrapped her legs around my hips and circled her arms around my neck. Leaning down, she pressed her lips to mine. Sweetest kiss I’d ever had. Breaking the kiss, she looked down at me for a second before touching the tip of her nose to mine. “I love you, Hendrix Cole. Now, forever, and always.”

  “This is the beginning, pretty girl.” I nipped at her lips. “This is the beginning of the rest of our lives.” She exhaled, and her warm breath skated across my face. “From this second on, I’m going to spend every moment of the rest of my life with you.”

  Maddie giggled before dropping her head back and looking up at the sky. When her head snapped forward again, she smiled at me. “Every moment with you, handsome.” She squeezed her arms around my neck tighter. “From here until forever, my every moment is going to be spent with you.”

  Maddie

  Four Months Later

  I was standing in front of Station 24 when Shelby—who was carrying Lucca on her hip—walked up beside me and elbowed me in the ribs. I gasped. "Would you watch where you're throwing those boney ass elbows. Those things hurt!"

  Shelby narrowed her eyes. “I don’t have boney elbows.”

  She was right, she didn’t. Still, I couldn’t help but pick on her. “Sure, you don’t.”

  She rolled her eyes before pointing in the direction of the huge charcoal grill that Pop—of all people—was manning. “What in the hell is he wearing?”

  I smiled as I looked at the matching apron and chef’s hat that he was proudly donning. “Liam and Declan picked it out for him since he’s,” I curled my fingers and made air quotes, “the best griller person in the whole wide world.”

  Shelby tossed her head back and laughed. “Let me guess, Liam?”

  I nodded. “Of course.”

  Shelby snorted and swayed Lucca a little. He rubbed his little eyes and laid his head against her arm. “Clara sure has adjusted well.”

  A warmness spread through my chest at the mention of Clara. When I’d met her a little over three months ago, she was a mess. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Now, though? Now she was a completely different person.

  About a month into her recovery, I’d given her a job at the shelter and helped her move into an apartment in the same complex that Hendrix and I lived in. With a new job, a boatload of support, and biweekly therapy sessions she was flourishing.

  So were the boys.

  Both were in school full-time and were doing well. They had friends, they adored their teachers, and they loved their new home. Plus, they had Pop—crazy as it sounds—who was teaching them to do all sorts of ‘boy’ stuff. He’d taken them fishing, helped them build a birdhouse for the shelter, and even bought them their first bikes. He stopped by the shelter—where the boys stayed after school until Clara got off work—to see them almost every day. Not to mention, he had them with him nearly every Saturday.

  Never alone though.

  Although he'd done a complete one-eighty, and it was apparent that he was a different person, I’d never trust him alone with another child. Because of that, somebody was always close by observing the time he spent with the boys. Pop didn’t mind. If anything, he understood. Besides, I think he was just happy to be spending time with them. Right or wrong, he was making up for the time that he lost with his own son.

  Speaking of Hendrix…

  Finding out about Sean had gutted him.

  The days that followed my confession and his spur of the moment proposal were hard. Really hard.

  We both cried. We both grieved. But together we made it through.

  It hadn't been easy and some days were still hard—I still cried every day and Hendrix did too—but things were getting better. Still, I knew neither of us would be whole again. I didn't expect to be either. The day I lost Sean, I knew that my heart would never be the same again.

  And it wasn’t.

  I only hoped that time would make the pain easier, more bearable. If not for me, then at least for Hendrix. I couldn't stand to see him suffer. My man had suffered enough in his life for ten people.

  He didn't deserve anymore pain.

  “Maddie!”

  I spun around at the sound of Hendrix’s voice and waved my arm in the air. “Over here!”

>   Smiling, he moved towards me. “It’s about time you showed up.”

  I ran to him and slammed my body into his. Tilting my face up, I whispered, “kiss me.”

  Anchoring his hands in my hair, he held onto me as his lips met mine. I moaned, and behind me, Shelby gagged. “Get a damn room!”

  Hendrix pulled away from me and scowled. “One of these days I’m going to strangle her.”

  I tilted my head to the side. “I think she could take you.”

  He mulled my reply over for a second before flicking his gaze to Shelby. "I don't doubt it. The girl is crazy."

  I didn’t bother to argue because it was the truth. Taking his hand in mine, I turned around and dragged him towards one of the picnic tables where Shelby had plopped down beside Hope and Evan. “Let’s go sit down. My friggin’ legs are tired.”

  We moved to the table. Hendrix sat down on the bench first and pulled me down onto his lap. Hope smiled, but Shelby just rolled her eyes. "You two are disgusting." I stuck my tongue out at her, and she returned the gesture.

  Evan waved in my direction. “Hey, boss lady.”

  I smiled at him. “Hey, big guy. How have you been?” Hendrix tensed beneath me. He was ridiculous.

  Evan nodded once. “Good. Glad vacation is almost over. I’ve been going stir crazy sitting at home.”

  I could understand that. I’d taken a month off after Colin attacked me and I’d about lost my mind. "We'll be glad to have you back. Hasn't been the same around here without you."

  Moving my gaze to Hope, I noticed that her eyebrows were furrowed and her face was hard. “How are you doing my little muffin?”

  She instantly smiled at the nickname. “Good." She pushed her shoulders back, and her long ponytail swayed from side to side. "Excited about tonight."

  Shelby shifted a sleeping Lucca in her arms. "Ooooh, what's happening tonight?"

  Hope blushed. "I've got a date." Evan tensed, and his face darkened. My eyes moved to Shelby’s. Judging by the look on her face, she’d noticed Evan’s change in demeanor too. Huh. Interesting. Very, very interesting.