Everything I Want

by Natalie Barnes

  The guys start unloading their equipment, plugging things in, and warming up. I bent down to grab a water out of the mini fridge because I have a feeling my throat is going to be sore by the end of the day. I grab the headphones that are resting on the mic in front of me and placed them on my head. Gage is starting to give directions to us, and I start my vocal warm ups.

  “Ready?” Gage asks after about fifteen minutes. I look behind me, seeing them all ready to go with smiles cracking their faces into two. I turned around and nodded at him through the glass. “Good to go.” Cory starts playing “Boss.” Oh, yeah! Now I’m ready.

  I’m lying on the couch in the booth, staring at my phone. It’s already midnight. Wow! We’ve been here for almost twelve hours already. My throat is starting to get sore, and my vocals are turning a little raspy now. Roger is asking Gage questions about the controls. I never noticed it earlier, but this is way more advanced than any other studio I have ever been into before. Knobs and buttons are everywhere on the deck. Flat screens are placed on all the other walls. It truly is a sight. I can’t believe I looked past it before. It was probably because Tristan was in here, switching my gears from hot to cold so damn fast.

  I stretch out one last time before getting up. I’m so exhausted from traveling to LA, the interview from this morning, and then jamming all day. I say it was time to grab a shower and drift off to sleep. Just then, Jared and Matt come barging in all loud and kind of buzzed. They decided a while ago to have a few beers and a joint. Whatever though. If they don’t go over the edge on wasted-ness, they can jam out pretty good if not better, I think.

  “Where’s Cory?” I asked, peeking my head into the room. “Ah . . . I think he’s just loading our shit in the back there.” Jared points to a door on the opposite end of the recording room. “Oh, okay.” I start walking toward the door. “I will meet you guys down by the cab.”

  “All right,” Roger says before letting Gage know what time we will be showing up again tomorrow.

  As I peek my head into the door, I notice Cory leaning against the wall with his back to me. “Hey, we’re leaving now. Are— Are you all right, man?” I asked, taking a few steps closer to him. Something just seemed a little off. “Fuck! Yeah, I’m all right.” He turns facing me with a bloody nose. “Just overdid it in there, you know?”

  “Oh my god!” I said as I clasped my hands over my mouth. “Shit, Cory! Let’s get you to the bathroom. Are you feeling okay? Shit!”

  “Oh I’m just fine. Just this annoying nose thing. It started bleeding when we wrapped. But I didn’t want to make a mess or scene out there, so I just came in here to wait it out.” Cory chuckled to himself. Yep, still must be a little buzzed. After Cory got done with cleaning himself up, we started heading toward the elevators.

  Once inside the elevators, I turn to him, “I know it’s none of my business, but maybe you shouldn’t do so much next time. Really, you shouldn’t be doing it at all right now. Since we have so much shit riding on our backs, you know?” He looks down at me and shakes his head slightly. “Sophia, I’m fine. It’s not like I’m hardcore into it. If I was, I would probably be lying on the floor right now or wanting to keep jamming. I hit just a little to keep it flowing for tonight since I’m only running on a few hours here.” He smiles and rubs my shoulders for a minute; then the elevator doors open, and we’re now at ground level. I turn to Cory and give him a hug. “This is only the beginning for us. We have to take care of each other, okay” I then give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “I know, Sophie. Thanks.” He grabs my hand, and we leave the building and jumped into the cab.

  I’m lying in bed with my extra large Pantera “Cowboys from hell” t-shirt that was once my dad’s. Today has been a day with so many emotions. As I start to brush my hair after my glorious refreshing shower, it’s already 2:00 a.m. I place my brush on the bedside table and cover up with the quilt my grandmother made for me when I was little. I know I’m a nerd, but I always bring it with me whenever I travel. Lying here in the darkened hotel room, I start thinking about the deal, recording, poor Cory, and—of course—Tristan. Ah, Tristan, Tristan, Tristan. How can someone so ridiculously talented and devastatingly handsome be a major prick for no reason? I wrap my brain around it numerous times, trying to think about what I did to piss him off. Hmm, nothing. Maybe it’s because of what Lux said? The band before us screwing around? And Tristan did say he had some shares in the company, so maybe that’s why he was on a little edge. I don’t know but it kind of makes sense. Right? Well, I just have to prove to him and Lux that Dollar Settlement is the real deal; and we’re not going anywhere. All of a sudden, I feel my eyelids getting heavier; and the last image that crosses my mind is Tristan’s soft, full lips.

  Chapter Three

  It has already been four weeks in the studio. We’re busting ass trying to get this album done before we start touring next Wednesday. Putting in twelve to fifteen-hour days every day is brutal. But I know it’s going to be more work when we start touring. The boys are holding up pretty good, too. And I’m happy to say that there haven’t been anymore incidents with Cory like our first night here. But I’m a little bummed that I haven’t seen any of the Undead Society guys around. Well, Tristan, I mean. Since that first time I met him, I thought he was an ass; but maybe it’s because of the stress of the other band not being able to pull their weight. So I understand that and want to let him know not to worry. I have great respect for his band. Shit, they’ve been in the game for almost ten years now, but I haven’t been able to tell him that because I haven’t seen him yet. Well, I can always do it when we start the tour, I suppose.

  As I’m doing touch-ups and backtracks to our song “Forgive Me,” I notice movement going on in Gage’s booth. I overlook it and finish the song. Gage’s voice pops through the speakers. “All good. Do you wanna come in and listen?”

  “Sure.” I start removing my headphones and placing them back on the mic.

  Damn LA and its heat! Shit. I know this place is equipped with the most modern central air system; but from singing and screaming my ass off these last eight hours, I’m practically dripping with sweat. Ew! My Deftones T-shirt is practically hugging me now which sucks because all I want to do is rip the damn thing off. And jean shorts, forget about them because they just make it all the more uncomfortable. I pulled my hair off my neck a while ago because my overheating body started to make

  18 it frizz, so now it’s just up in a ponytail. I didn’t even bother putting makeup on today. Why? Because I’d only sweat it off in two hours. Besides, I’m just around the boys anyway. No need to impress anyone.

  I push the door to the booth open and see Jared sitting on the couch with a huge-ass smile spreading across his face. I turn to my left and lo and behold! Who do I see? Tristan! Damn. Now I wish I would’ve put on a little makeup. At least some eyeliner or mascara. I gave him a quick nod then turned back to Jared.

  “Where’s the rest of the guys?” I asked. “They went out for some beers and smokes. They should be back in twenty though.”

  He is so excited to be here right now. Undead Society is one of Jared’s favorite bands, so he’s in his element right now. “Are you ready to listen to the full song now? I think I have it all put together.” Gage says to me as he turns his chair back to the deck, messing with a few more switches. I glance up at Tristan. He’s just standing there with his arms crossed in another sexy sleeveless shirt that stretches his tattoos out a bit on his muscular arms. Shit! Get this sexual idea of him out of your head, Sophia! I yell internally at myself. This is business now.

  I take a seat by Jared, cross my legs, and open the cap to my water for a quick swig. Gage pushes one more button; then through the amazing system in the booth, my song starts to play. I couldn’t help the grin that is starting to take place on my face. Cool, Sophia. Remain cool. Don’t show too much emotion around Mr. Scott over there. Damn it! I hate it when my conscience is right. I bit my lower lip to keep the grin at bay.

 
A few minutes later, the song was finally finished. Gage turns to Jared and me and says, “Sweet. I think we can call it a wrap on this one. Nice Soph—” Tristan interrupts Gage, shaking his head. “She needs to go over the chorus again. A little lower next time.” He turns to me with a cold stare, his eyes seeming darker. Excuse fucking me. Really? I thought I did a damn good job. I’ve been working on it . . . Let’s see . . . All fucking day!

  “Yeah, right . . . I’m going to have to disagree with you,” I say it in the way that Bill Lumbergh says it in the movie Office Space.

  Looking up at him through my lashes, I give him a glare. Sitting down while he’s standing is even more intimidating. Jared has this look of shock on his face, like he can’t even believe that I’m speaking to Tristan Scott this way.

  Tristan is staring at me like I was some bug he was getting ready to stomp on with his unlaced Timberlands. He rubs his hands together then tucks them into his back pockets and gives Gage a beastly cackle. Tristan turns his head over and glares down at me.

  “Well, since I do have a say for Lux, I say do it over.” His voice is so deep that it intimidates and excites me all at the same time. “You sounded like Mickey Mouse.” He then looks down at Gage. “You should know better.” Wait one fucking minute! I sounded like Mickey Mouse? I should tell this motherfucker he sounds like Justin Bieber just to piss him off. I didn’t realize it, but in a second, I was on my feet. I should be wearing heels right now to be in more eye contact. My 5’6 frame just isn’t cutting it to go rounds with Skyscraper over here, but I had nothing. I look back over to Jared; he is just immobile on the couch. Well, there goes my backup. I turn back around to face Tristan again.

  “Fine! I will redo it!” My voice comes out in a low growl. I never heard myself sound that way before. I push through the door leading back into the recording room and grab the headphones, pulling them back on my head. “Let me know when we’re ready,” I say sarcastically. Because I know Mr. Know-it-all is still in there.

  “Ready,” Gage says over the speakers. I close my eyes to tune everyone out and begin.

  Finally, we’re done for the night. I must have gone over the same fucking lyrics thirty more times for Mr. Know-it-all Douchebag to say it’s right. It’s 3:00 a.m. and I’m exhausted. All the guys, except Roger, left for the night to get some sleep. Awe my, I told Roger he didn’t have to stay, but he insisted. Tristan just gave me a nod from the booth that clearly told me it was good enough before he walked out. So pretty much most of the work is done now. Just some fine-tuning is all that’s left. Eleven tracks in five weeks. That’s fan-fucking-tastic considering it takes some bands months to do!

  The morning is slowly making its appearance in my hotel room. I’m just lying in bed, trying very hard to fall asleep; but I just can’t stop thinking about Tristan. Why do I let him bother me so much? I’ve only been around the guy a couple times. And why the fuck does he think he is our manager? I may have to have a little talk with Lux about this. On the other hand, maybe not. We are just getting started, and I don’t want Lux thinking I’m trying to be a diva or something. But, damn . . . Would it hurt Tristan to be a little kinder to me? I mean, I’m new to this; so cut me some fucking slack. I noticed last night—or earlier this morning? Whichever way you look at it—Tristan was treating the rest of my band with some respect, but not me. Fuck it. I will just bite my tongue. For now.

  It’s all darkness, and I start hearing “Beautiful Tragedy” playing. My eyes pop open. It’s my phone. Still a little groggy, I rub my eyes and sit up, looking from my left to my right. “Where is the damn thing?” I lift up my pillow and grab it. “Yeah,” I choke out. My voice is a little raspy from sleep and from putting in all the hours yesterday. “Good afternoon, Sophia. Be ready in thirty minutes, okay? I’m sending a driver over to pick you and the other guys up to take you guys to the studio. We have to start getting ready for the tour,” Lux says cheerfully. Wait! Good afternoon? What time is it? I glance at the clock on my bedside table. Shit! Three in the afternoon, it was reading. “Yeah okay, cool. I will let them know. Thanks.” I press end and slowly climb out of bed and take a good stretch. I then press the call button on Roger’s number. It only rang once before he picked up. “Hey, sleepyhead. We were wondering when you were getting up.”

  “Yeah, I know. Sorry about that.” I’m trying to talk, but I can’t stop yawning. “Listen. Lux is sending a car over in thirty minutes. You guys be ready. We have to start going over things for the tour.”

  “Yeah we know already, Sophia. Tristan called me a couple hours ago.” What the.

  “Oh, he did?” I was trying not to sound annoyed. “Okay then. Well, I’m just gonna grab a quick shower. Be down in a few.”

  “Cool. See you then,” Roger says to me. But before ending the call, I hurry up and ask, “Um . . . Why did he call you?” Shit! Maybe I shouldn’t have asked?

  “Because he’s meeting us there to help us out and prepare. After all, he does know a few things about this kind of shit and has done this a few times before.” I hear Roger laugh slightly. And I swear I could almost hear his eyes rolling, too.

  “Okay. I just thought Lux was going to be doing it. That’s all. I have to go. Bye.”

  “Bye bye.” Roger then clicks off. I wanted to end the call immediately so Roger wouldn’t keep talking or asking annoying questions.

  I’m just drying off from the quickest shower I have ever taken. I decided on just wearing light blue jeans and a black three-quarter sleeved, button-down shirt. I quickly brush my thick hair and throw it up in a loose-fitting bun. I brush my teeth and apply just a little—not too much—eyeliner and mascara. I just did one spray of perfume; then, I go and grab my shoes. I feel my phone go off in the back pocket of my jeans as I’m getting my shoes on. It’s a text from Cory.

  car here u ready?

  I stand quickly and slide on a couple knitted bracelets and one of my silver, metal ones on my wrists. I then shot a text back.

  walking down the hall now. couple minutes. I knew I wouldn’t have any time to make my hair totally presentable so that’s why I opted for the bun. When my hair finally dries, it will have loose waves. Okay, I’m ready to get this ball rolling. The tour is now six days away, and there is so much to be done.

  Walking out of the hotel room, I grab a twenty dollar bill off the dresser and stuff it into my other back pocket. Going down the hall, I notice an older woman checking me out. Not in a sexual way, but more of a curious way. I’ve been living here for the past month, so maybe she wonders what in the hell I am doing here, I don’t know, but the look on her face kind of creeps me out. I then give her a closed mouth smile back as I approach the elevators. She rolls her eyes at me and walks away. There, that took care of that. I start laughing as I’m waiting for the elevators to take me down.

  Chapter Four

  We pulled up outside the studio. The day, of course, is hot and humid; so I hurry my way into the cool building. Lux is standing in front of the doors, greeting us as we walk in. Beside him stands Tristan and Caleb. Oh, boy! Will I ever get over this feeling of titillation I get whenever Tristan’s around? I want to taste him and slap him all in the same moment. Fuck, it’s so annoying. I shake off the image of Tristan in my mind and look over to Caleb and give him a small smile and wave.

  Caleb’s head is shaved, and has tattoos and piercings all over. By the looks of him, he may seem kind of scary; but when you start talking to him, he is a very sweet and intelligent man. Meaning: don’t judge a book by its cover.

  “Hey, everyone!” Lux says as he walks toward the middle of all of us. He’s now standing in the center of us, turning slowly in a circle as he starts talking again. Looking at each one of us, he says, “We have to get some photos done of you guys today. Tristan and Caleb will take you guys downtown to meet up with the team.” Tristan and Caleb are standing back just a little ways. Caleb is grinning ear to ear. Tristan, on the other hand, is standing there with this stone-cold look on his face, showing no
emotion. Figures!

  “I’m thinking that some industrials would look good. Does this sound okay?” Lux glances at me then the guys. I’m thinking that industrials would look pretty sweet. We all nod at each other; then I turn back to Lux. “Yeah. That sounds cool, actually.” I couldn’t help my super excited grin dancing on my face. “I have one question.” Matt raises his hand slightly like we’re back in class or something.

  “Shoot.” Lux nods at him to go on.

  23 “What’s industrial?” I turn back at him with the dumbest look that must be showing on my face.

  “Really Matt?” I quirked my eyebrow up at him.

  “I know what industrial is, Sophie.” He uses air quotes when he said industrial. “All I was wondering is . . . Are we gonna be using metal and shit?” Awe my. I really can’t give him a hard time about this because the look on his face says that he’s really trying to understand.

  “Yes, Matt. That’s exactly what you guys will be using,” Lux says it to him in a slow speech; then, Lux shakes his head and looks around at all of us one last time. “You guys are going downtown by some warehouses. That’s where the shoot will take place. Now . . . Anymore questions?” Everyone turns back to Matt. He looks at all of us. “Hey back off. Shit! Next time I won’t fucking speak.” You can tell by the tone of his voice that he was trying to be serious, but the expression on his face gave away a look of a wiseass. We all started laughing and throwing a couple jokes at him. I walk over to him, and I give him a quick squeeze. When I turned back around to face Lux, I notice Tristan glaring at me. “We got shit to do. Let’s go.” Tristan walks past us, heading out of the lobby doors. Lux shakes his head then waves us on. “Good luck!” He says before heading toward the elevators. How come the thought of Tristan comes to mind when Lux said “Good luck”?