Everything I Want

by Natalie Barnes

  “Where the hell have you been? And why was your phone turned off?”

  Shit! I forgot I shut my phone off when Tristan and I got to the restaurant. I pull my phone out of my back pocket to check.

  “Well?”

  Roger keeps pushing for more information. I look back up to him, trying to explain myself without giving away that I was with Tristan.

  “I told Jared I was going out sightseeing. Calm the fuck down.”

  I push past him, making my way back to my little cove. Jared is standing in the hallway, all dressed up in his best: dark jeans, white T-shirt, and perfectly styled hair. Like he took about half an hour

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  on it, at least. He speaks softly to me so that the other guys wouldn’t eavesdrop. “Um, Sophia, I tried texting you when I was ready. But when you didn’t text back, I got kind of worried. So I woke up Roger.”

  The face he made next reminds me of the same face Jim Carrey did in the movie Dumb and Dumber. You know, the “find a happy place” look. I stop glaring at him and pat him on the shoulders.

  “That’s all right, Jared. Thank you for your concern, but I was fine. After all I’m a big girl, remember?”

  “You’re a hot chick in a city wandering around by yourself. It’s not cool, Sophia,” Roger chimes in from behind me.

  I roll my eyes. I don’t want to keep fighting about this. At least they don’t know that I was with Tristan. They would really start to think that I was falling for him then. First, everyone heard us . . . you know. Then catch us having breakfast together? No. It is way better for them to know I was out on my own.

  Just then, we heard a knock at the door. Lux enters the bus, again wearing a nice suit.

  “Good afternoon, everyone.”

  He takes a look around real quick and continues. “Got a room for you guys tonight, downtown. It’s a real nice place and close to entertainment, so you guys should be able to unwind before tomorrow night’s show.”

  He then looks over to Cory.

  “But not too much though. You guys have to be at the arena at two o’clock tomorrow. Then after that show, we start making our way out west again. Stopping in Seattle by the end of this week. So there will be a shit-ton of driving coming up in the next few days.”

  Lux strides over to me and hands me a packet.

  “Here are the keys to your guys’ rooms. I actually have to fly out tonight, so I won’t be at your show tomorrow. But please get there on time!”

  He stresses the last words again. Great. What Cory did to us in Detroit is making all of us look like we’re immature or irresponsible or something. I will make damn sure that everyone gets their asses in gear tomorrow.

  Taking the packet from him, I tell him everything will be fine and that he has our word.

  “Good. Now kick ass tomorrow. The internet is starting to buzz about this ‘new band’ they’ve been hearing of with Undead.”

  He uses his fingers as quotation marks in the air when he says new band. Oh shit. I haven’t been on any social site since the tour started. I was nervous at first but then just totally forgot about it. I’m going to have to check it out later. We say our goodbyes to Lux, and I head back to my area when the bus starts up.

  I hear Roger out in the living area excitedly saying “Fuck yeah! Let’s rage tonight, boys!”

  Shaking my head at his remarks, I know that they’re just going to do what they’re going to do. My only concern is with Cory, but hopefully, our little spat this morning knocked a little sense into him.

  “Sophia!”

  I hear Roger yelling my name.

  “Sophia, get your little ass out here!”

  What does he want now? I climb off my bed and peek out into the small hallway.

  “What is it, Roger?”

  I’m kind of annoyed right now at him.

  “Girl, don’t give me that attitude. You’re coming with us. We must party.”

  “No. You guys are fine—”

  “Oh, shut the fuck up! And when we get to the hotel, you have thirty minutes to get dressed. Jared, you have forty-five because you’re a bitch.”

  Roger looks over toward Jared, smiling at him.

  “I’m already ready, man. By the smell of you though, I would say you can take up to an hour on your ass.”

  We all start laughing at Jared’s little comeback. Well, everyone but Roger. He just flips Jared off and heads to the table next to Matt.

  “Sophia, it will be crazy tonight. And hey, if we start early, we end early so . . . ”

  I know that’s not entirely true, but I could go for a drink; and we are in Minneapolis so I’m down.

  “Okay, I’ll go but sometime tonight, I want to swing by somewhere.”

  I say to them as I take a seat next to Cory on the couch.

  “Sure. Where do you wanna go?” Roger asks me.

  My smile splits my face in two, and I know he’s probably not going to like it.

  “I want to go to First Avenue. You know, like where the movie Purple Rain was at. It’s supposed to be a good music place.”

  Roger now rolls his eyes, and Matt starts laughing. Cory leans over me and grabs his guitar and plays the beginning of “Doves Cry.” I start clapping my hands together, bouncing excitedly in my seat. Oh yeah, that gets me in the mood to party. We all start laughing and start discussing our plans for the night.

  It only takes me twenty minutes to get ready since I already showered and blow-dried my hair. I decide on wearing my same jeans on from earlier but changed my top to a dark gray strapless corset. It’s made up of cotton blend with boning in it. The top bends over, looking like a black V on top.

  Sitting on my bed, I grab my compact mirror. I start applying more eye liner on, smoking out the corners of my eyes. When I’m done with my eyes, I dig around in my makeup bag for my lip gloss and stick that in my front pocket. Getting up from my bed, I search for what I can wear on my feet tonight. I don’t want anything too comfortable because it won’t go with my top, but I don’t want to be falling over easily when I’m buzzed either. I will wear the boots that I wore in Detroit. Frankie gave them to me after the show because I fell in love with them.

  After lacing them up, I grab my black belt and pull it through the loops of my jeans. I slide on a few bracelets on my right wrist and walk over to check myself out in the mirror. Cool. I like it. So will Tristan. I thought to myself. Damn it! I hate that, that thought even crossed my mind. But I couldn’t help it. Normally, I would just wear a T-shirt going out with the boys. But there is a chance that Tristan might be out so . . .

  I pick up my phone from the bed and text Roger.

  Ready. After I pressed send, I spritz myself with my perfume on my wrists. I rub them together and dab them behind my ears. I know those perfume ladies at the shops tell you not to because it loses its scent or whatever. But I never find that true and always do it.

  My phone bings off and I look down, thinking it was Roger. But it wasn’t.

  What you up to tonight? It’s Tristan! How did he get my number? I’m sure he had to ask one of the guys or Lux.

  I bite my lip, staring down at the text. I was hoping to run into him tonight. Not to hang out with him. Well, that wouldn’t really be that bad either because he seems cool when he’s nice. Deciding on whether or not to reply, I hear a bang on my door. I jump at the noise. Oh my god. If Tristan is out there, I’m going to shit.

  Slowly walking up to the door, I close my left eye and lean onto the door, peeking through the peephole. Roger is standing there, running his tongue over his teeth. Gross! I let out a breath of relief and open the door.

  “See, I knew you’d be ready. See, Matt? Wrong again.”

  I look over Roger’s shoulder at Matt, who isn’t paying attention to us, but rather to his phone. I know though that Roger is just screwing around.

  “Where we off to first, boys?” I ask as I shut the door behind me.

  I feel my front packets for my I.D. and my room key. Yep, have t
hem both. I then feel my back and pull out a couple fifty dollar bills. I’m all set. I push the money down into my front pockets though. A little safer there. I really should buy a purse or something because, one of these days, I’m going to lose shit. Cory walks over to me as we head for the elevator.

  “There’s this pub we’re going to swing by first. You know, if you’re hungry?”

  Nodding at him as we wait I say, “Sounds good. I should have something in my stomach before tonight starts anyways.”

  After we’re downstairs, I scope out the lobby. Lux was right. This is a real nice place. Its decor is all modern-like, almost like staying at a museum. When we’re outside, I see the same SUV parked out front.

  “Are we getting in there?” I ask, pointing over to the vehicle.

  Matt, laughing a little, mocks, “Nope. We’re not special enough yet.”

  Roger butts in, “We’re on foot, sweetheart. But the good news is this first place is only a couple blocks from here. Later on, we can always use a taxi.”

  Following them down the street, I notice that it looks like it’s going to rain. The sky is dark and there is a chill in the wind that makes you know that a storm is coming.

  “Shit! I forgot my jacket!”

  I rub my hands on my arms, trying to warm my skin up. Tristan’s text asking me what I was doing threw me off.

  “You want to wear my hoodie?” Cory asks me.

  “If it’s only a couple blocks, I should be okay. But I will probably take you up on that later. If you don’t mind?”

  “Not at all, Sophia.”

  Cory then kisses the top of my head and wraps his arm around me. I don’t feel uncomfortable at him doing so. It’s not like that with us. Cory holds me close as we make our way down the street.

  Roger looks back at us, starting to laugh again and says, “She won’t need it later. She’ll be so drunk off her ass.”

  We arrive at the pub, and from the outside, it looks small with only two windows that you can glimpse into; but when we walk through the doors, it opens up. It has very high ceilings that you can see the duct work. It also has brick walls and wooden floors. It’s kind of darker in here, too, but not nightclub-dark. More like mellow-dark.

  “Jared, wanna find us a table?” Cory asks him, “I will go up and get our first round. Roger, come with me.”

  Cory lets go of me, making his way toward the bar. He doesn’t ask me what I want, but he doesn’t have to either. He knows that a beer is always my drink of choice, followed by a gin and tonic. I follow Jared and Matt to a large round table in the corner, by a pool table. I take a seat in the back since I’m smaller than the rest of them. Jared and Matt each take a seat on either side of me. Matt looks over to me, smiling. Not the kind of smile wherein he shows his teeth but the kind of smile like he knows something.

  “So this should be fun,” I say to them, looking around the bar.

  “Oh, yes,” Matt says. I look back over to him, but now, he wiggles his eyebrows at me. Jared laughs but quickly covers his mouth with his hand to stop him. I look back at each of them before crossing my arms and resting them on the table.

  “Okay. What’s so funny?”

  Matt shrugs his shoulders. He’s covering up something, but I don’t know what it is.

  “Nothing, Sophia. I just have a feeling that tonight will be fun is all. I’m already a little buzzed.”

  I really don’t believe him, but I don’t want to spend my night doing the guessing game kind of thing so I drop it. Cory and Roger come back with our drinks, and I see that Cory has a platter in one of his hands.

  “Beer batter dip and chips. Thought it would be good to start the night off with some grub.,” he says, placing it on the center of the table.

  “Of course, Roger had to pick out something with alcohol in the name.”

  “Hey, Cory, this is a night to party! So if we’re going to puss out and eat then it might as well be something that’s beer-battered.”

  I’m thankful that Cory got the appetizer. I pick up a chip, swirl it around in the dip, and take a bite. It’s very rich and creamy. So good. I lick my lips and reach for another.

  After the dip is finished and I’m on my third beer, we start talking a little louder. It always happens when we are all together getting drunk. It’s only around five now, so there aren’t many people in here yet. I glance at the pool table beside me, and I kind of want to play, even though I suck, it’s still fun.

  “Who’s up for a game?”

  I point my chin over toward the pool table. The guys are all listening to a story that Matt’s telling about the last city whore he fucked.

  “Well, I’m going to rack them. Who’s ever down, join me.”

  Jared nods and uses his finger to tell me to wait one minute. Before I set up the rack, I decided it was time to get a little buzz on first. The dip really filled me up. Leaning on the counter by the bar, I wave to the bartender. He is a short man with long hair pulled back into a ponytail. He has these little round glasses pushed down at the end of his nose and a button-down shirt on that looks kind of wrinkly.

  “What will it be, doll?” he asks me while wiping the counter down.

  “I’ll have a shot of tequila and a gin and tonic please.”

  The bartender nods at my order and busies himself, making my drinks.

  I won’t drink like this all night, but I’m too damn full to drink anymore beer right now. He places my shot and drink down in front of me and he pushes over the salt. I pick up the salt and lick the top of my hand and start shaking the salt on it. I place the salt down and grab the lime wedge that he placed on the side of my drink. I lick my hand quickly and grab the shot. After I’m done with the shot, I hurry and quickly bite into the lime.

  “All right, Sophia!”

  Roger is standing from the table, clapping a couple of times. He must’ve seen me do the shot. I peel out the lime wedge and grab my other drink, lifting it in the air at him. He did want us to party, so here I go.

  Making my way over to the table, I set my drink down on the ledge. I start placing the balls in the rack, moving around in the order of where I think they have to go. Think, Sophia. I’ve seen Matt and his friends back home do this plenty of times before. I’m too preoccupied with my task at hand to even hear the guys at the table clap. I was concentrating on which order these stupid balls have to go when someone from behind me grabs down on my waist.

  I jerk quickly to see who touched me but stop suddenly when Tristan’s body is rubbed up against mine. He looks down at me, smiling and showing off his gorgeous mouth and full lips of his.

  I step off to the side a bit to escape the closeness of him to me. He leans his back on the table, crossing his arms. He tilts his chin up to me.

  “You play?” he asks.

  I can’t stop staring at him. His jeans hang off his hips slightly, and he has just a black T-shirt on. With how muscular he is though, the shirt looks like it wants to rip off of him. Damn . . . He bites his lip as I see him checking me out from head to toe; then he turns toward the table.

  “Wanna play?”

  Play? Play what? With him? Oh shit, he means pool. I look back over at the rack I was setting up, and Tristan is switching some of the balls I had placed in there. Correcting me, I guess. I walk over to the wall, not saying anything to him and reach for a cue. Turning around, he’s just staring at me again.

  I grab the white ball and place it in front of the others that are set up. Tristan brushes past me as he grabs his cue. Grabbing some chalk, he quickly rubs the tip of it on his cue a couple times before placing it on the ledge of the table.

  “Break?”

  He points with his cue stick at the rack, asking me if I want to go first. Nodding to him, I walk over and position myself on the table. Lining up the stick with the cue ball and using my thumb to rest on the table, I take a shot. Balls go clinking around the table, and a couple stripes go in. Smiling, I walk over and take another shot. Unfortunately, I missed th
is time. Shit! Tristan is smiling at me then studies the table for his shot. He gracefully leans in and takes his shot. A couple balls go in as well. He strides over to the other side, and again, a couple more go in. I can already tell that this will be over soon.

  He misses his next shot. Thank god. He only has a few balls left, and I still have most of mine. Now though, all my stripes are in awkward positions. Trying to lean in, I can’t get a good shot; so I walk over to the side and rest my hips up on the table, stretching out for my shot. I know this move is really not allowed, but it’s the only way I can stay in the game with Tristan over here. When I hit the cue ball, it pushes my stripe into a pocket. Climbing off the table, Tristan’s eyes are alight. He was watching me crawl and stretch on the table. I didn’t really think about it, but it must have been a sight.

  Tristan is grinning but still silent. He takes his next shot, which drops his remaining balls in. Fuck! He’s good. The only one left now is the damn eight ball. And before I could blink, he sinks that one in, barely tapping the cue stick on the white ball.

  He tosses his stick on the table and looks over to me, with me still holding tightly on to mine.

  “Want to get out of here?”

  Yes. I mean, I should be with the boys tonight but . . . I look over to them; and they’re all over the place, drinking and mingling.

  “Let me just let Matt know.”

  Tristan smiles, and I walk over to Matt and tap him on his shoulder.

  “Hey, I don’t feel so good.”

  Matt looks over to me concern, and I just feel awful about lying to him.

  “Are you okay Sophia?”

  “Yeah, I think that dip got to me is all. I’ll be fine.”

  I give him a reassuring smile.

  “Let me take you back.”

  “No, no. I’m fine really. Stay.”

  I hug him, and then I walk out the door. Tristan is outside in front of the SUV, waiting for me. I can’t help the nerves of excitement that I start to feel.