Grimbledung and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Mine (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 5)

by Robert P. Wills

  “Deal!” Nulu waved to the man as she turned and practically jogged to the spiral staircase that ran up the middle of the windmill. Taking the stairs three at a time, she made it to the top quickly. Even so, she was winded when she got there. As she stepped onto the balcony that was behind the massive blades, the crowd cheered again. “Julie?” She called as she moved around the curved balcony.

  Julie was sitting on the wood floor of the balcony, feet dangling down into open air. “Over here, Nulu.”

  Nulu moved to her friend and flopped down beside her. “Hey.” She smiled. “How are things?”

  “Well, so far I’m not seeing any pitchforks or torches.” Julie continued to look straight ahead at the back of the man on the platform.

  “It’s early still.” Nulu nudged Julie.

  Julie turned to look at Nulu. It was obvious she had been crying. “I… I don’t know what to do.”

  Nulu moved closer and put her arm around her friend. “Hey, I don’t either, but we’ll figure something out together. You can count on that,” she said seriously.

  “I appreciate it, Nulu.” Julie rested her chin on the lower railing. “I just don’t understand what they want me to do. All I’ve tried to do is get the town up and running as well as I could.” She frowned. “And I think I’ve done a pretty good job at it. Now, they act like I’m some Orcish warlord that’s imposed martial law.”

  “Pinky explained it to me. It’s not your fault.”

  Julie pointed. “They don’t see it that way.” She sniffed. “I mean, all I wanted to do was get the town a good start then go back to running my school. Now… Now those dolts on the city… council…” A tear ran down her cheek. “Are making me look like a tyrant.”

  “Have you tried talking to them?”

  “I’ve tried. They just argue.”

  “Maybe I can talk to them.”

  Julie sniffed again. “Well, it couldn’t hurt I suppose.” She narrowed her eyes. “I really don’t like that guy.”

  “Magnus Opus.”

  “Magnus Opus von Magnus,” corrected Julie. “Apparently.”

  “I’ll see what I can find out about him as well. Someone in my place should know something.”

  “He came out of nowhere.”

  Nulu nodded. “That’s what Pinky said. Still, someone’s bound to know something about it.” She nudged her friend again. “I’ll see what I can find out.”

  Big Julie nodded. “Thanks.”

  “So when’s the next council meeting?”

  “Tomorrow upstairs in the town hall.”

  Nulu nodded. “I’ll make sure I’m there.” She pulled herself to her feet. “So why don’t we go down to the Duck and I’ll open a bottle of Marzamino?”

  Julie smiled. “Well, that would improve my day, I think.”

  Nulu offered her hand to her friend. “Let’s go.”

  Julie looked at Nulu’s hand. “Blue. Very nice.” She grasped her hand and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet.

  “And no more listening to Magnus von Magnus von stupidous until I talk to the council.” Nulu pointed to the stairs. “We’ll swing by and grab Maca on our way so we don’t have to go through the crowds.”

  Julie smiled. “Thanks, Nulu.” She hugged her friend.

  The two went down the spiral staircase and out the back door of the windmill towards Maca’s Herbs and More, Much More.

  Chapter 6

  Flora O. Willowfeet- A Gnomess Scorned

  Flora yanked open the door to the Duck Inn and Dine and stalked into the foyer. She looked toward the old Dwarf working the reception counter. He didn’t make eye contact with her. It was a mistake he made the morning before. “Morning,” Flora tossed in his direction.

  The Dwarf muttered a quiet reply. He did not want to get pulled into a conversation with the Gnomess. That was another mistake he had made later that same day that he hoped to never repeat. He looked down at the counter, picked up a piece of paper that he was only moments ago going to throw in the waste basket. He nodded with furrowed brow at it. “Finally found you. Better get this filed,” he said to no one in particular. Without looking up from the paper that was covered with doodles from the night reception clerk, he turned and went to the backroom. To hide.

  Flora frowned at the space that until recently contained Erick the Dwarf, son of Choick. A truly noble and brave Dwarf if there ever was one. “Harrumph,” she said with a frown. She yanked the curtains aside and entered the dining area. Her eyes moved from patron to patron. They looked away in turn.

  Nulu watched from the bar. Erick had mentioned that he had been lambasted by a certain Gnomess for merely asking her how she was doing. Since it was very early in the morning, he had assumed that everything was going well up to that point.

  Apparently, it wasn’t.

  At all.

  Nulu cleared her throat.

  Flora either did not hear her, or did not realize it was directed at her. Or just didn’t care. She moved to the pegs by the curtain and retrieved her apron.

  Nulu cleared her throat louder.

  Flora tied the apron around her waist then slid her serving tray out of the slot beside the pegs. She tilted it back and forth as she looked at herself in it.

  “Flora, can I speak with you a moment?” Nulu said, deciding her throat was as clear as it was going to get.

  Flora tilted her serving tray so that Nulu’s reflection joined hers. “Mmm hmmm.” She said.

  “Over here by the bar?”

  Flora let go of the tray with one hand, it banged against her side as it hung. Nulu expected it to clatter to the floor. “Sure,” she said as she turned and moved to the bar.

  “Have a seat,” suggested Nulu.

  “Mmm hmmm.” Flora climbed up on a stool, placing her tray on the bar. “Want me to make a pass of the room?”

  “Maybe in a minute,” Nulu said. She realized most all the patrons were watching them in one way or another- some staring directly at them, some peering through the bottoms of their empty glasses as they pretended to drink, some from the cover of their menus. “Right now I wanted to discuss something with you.”

  “Mmm hmmm.” Flora spun her tray on the bar using one finger, making it go faster and faster.

  Nulu put her well-manicured hand on the tray to stop it. “We need to talk.”

  Flora looked up at the Trolless. There was really no way of hiding it so she didn’t even try.

  Nulu looked at the Gnomess’ bloodshot eyes. She had been crying very recently. “Flora. I have been... The employees too... the customers even.... well, we are all worried about you.”

  “Mmm hmmm.”

  Nulu put her hand on Flora’s. “Flora, I know you’re upset...”

  Flora dropped her eyes.

  “But you have to accept that Grimbledung has wandered off on one of his crazy adventures.” Nulu took Flora’s hand. “But he’ll be back safe and sound. You have to realize that...”

  Flora pulled her hand out of Nulu’s. “I realize that he left me. He. Left. Me. Without as much as a goodbye.”

  “But when he gets back,” Nulu said, trying a different tactic. “You can...”

  Flora smiled. It was her first smile in a week. “When he gets back.”

  Nulu smiled along with her. “Yes, when he gets back, we’ll all...”

  “Oh, I’ll take care of him,” interrupted Flora. The smile melted from her face turning into a sneer as it settled.

  Nulu stopped smiling. “I’m not sure I know what you mean.” She hoped it was a pleasant taking care of, instead of a more physical assault-like taking care of often indicated by a sneer.

  “Well, you’ll just have to wait and see, now won’t you.”

  Nulu steeled herself. She looked out into the room. Everyone was looking at her expectedly. No one was even trying to be sneaky about it anymore. She let out a long breath. “Flora. I have a business to run here. With now edgy customers. And, I have to say, nervous employees.” She put both ha
nds on the bar as she prepared to deliver her ultimatum. “So...

  “I quit.” Flora hopped off the barstool. She started to walk off then stopped. She turned and yanked her serving tray off the bar.

  “So what we…Wait, Flora.” Nulu said testily. “Wait one moment.” She pointed a finger at the Gnomess. “How dare you act like you’re the only one who has ever lost someone important to them.” Several patrons nodded. “Don’t you stand there and act like you’re the only one in this town who has had someone they care about walk out on them.”

  Flora looked down at her tray.

  Nulu raised her voice. “At least you have the comfort in knowing he’ll come back. In case you haven’t noticed, we just went through an invasion around here. There are a lot of folks that have loved ones that are never coming back.” She put her hand on the middle of the bar and crouched down. She hopped upward, vaulting the bar easily, landing heavily beside Flora. “So quit your moping about. Quit your tongue lashings of poor Erick and the entire staff. And quit treating the customers like they’re the ones who convinced Grimbledung to wander off on some crazy adventure!”

  “Here, here!” Said a patron, unable to control himself.

  Flora looked up at Nulu. “But what am I supposed to do?” Tears ran down her face.

  “Well, you can pass the time with your job and your friends.” Nulu smirked. “And deciding how you’re going to deal with that crazy Gnome when he gets back.”

  Flora looked down at her tray as she thought.

  After a long moment, Nulu put her hand on the Gnomess’ shoulder. “Well?”

  Flora looked up at Nulu. “You’re right.” She turned and shoved her tray back into its slot and began to untie her apron. “Can I have an hour to take care of something then I’ll be back and ready to work? There’s something I need to do.”

  Nulu looked at her patrons. Several nodded at her. “Sure, Flora. Take an hour to get yourself in order.”

  Flora nodded at Nulu. “Thanks, Nulu. You’re a good friend.” She hung her apron on the peg. “I’ll be back in a little bit. I really appreciate your advice.”

  Nulu smiled. “That’s what friends are for.”

  Flora turned to the patrons. “I’m sorry, folks. Really I am. I’ve been taking this out on you when you had nothing to do with it. I’ll…”

  “Here, here!” Said the same patron.

  “… be back in less than an hour.” Flora ducked around the curtain and went straight to the front door. She pushed it open and stepped into the morning light. There was a slight breeze pushing white puffy clouds along. The rest of the sky was a light blue. She could hear birds on the nearby tree. A passerby gave her a friendly nod. “Nulu’s right,” she said to no one in particular. “I’ve been going about this all wrong.” She nodded at herself, determined. For the first time in a week, she knew what she needed to do. “All wrong.” Flora started down the street at a brisk pace, knowing exactly what she needed to do. And where she needed to go.

  True to her word, she was back to cheerfully serving customers within the hour.

  After having bought a miniature crossbow and several poisoned bolts from a shady-looking character in a dingy alleyway.

  Chapter 7

  On The Road Again. Again

  The wagon rolled along silently.

  Grimbledung slept along, snoringly.

  “Honestly, how does he get so tired doing nothing at all to sleep so much?” RatOx shook his shoulders as he walked.

  “Imagine the alternative.”

  “I can hear you, you know.”

  The pair ignored him, having discovered after an annoyingly disjointed conversation that Grimbledung talked in his sleep. And oddly enough, occasionally responded in it.

  “Well, I suppose random demands and such are better,” admitted RatOx. “Of course, an actual conversation passes the time pretty well too.”

  “There’s a fire in the barn!” Grimbledung exclaimed.

  “Well, we’re getting near the Toll Bridge and I know Grim enjoys driving across bridges so I suppose I’ll wake him up,” said Drimblerod.

  “Likes driving across bridges?”

  Drimblerod shrugged. “Maybe it’s a Gnome thing; I kind of enjoy bridges too.”

  “Maybe you’ve got some Troll in your family tree.”

  Drimblerod shook his head. “I think it’s the builder in us that does it.”

  “I thought you folk built contraptions and such, not buildings.”

  “A Lannister always pays his debts!”

  RatOx craned his head around. “What?”

  “I’ve no idea,” said Drimblerod. He gave a shrug. “Well, we are pretty handy at making contraptions, I suppose but we Gnomes are also like Dwarves; secretly wanting to be architects.”

  RatOx nodded. He looked forward again. “Bridge approaching.”

  “It’s a real nice bridge.” Drimblerod twisted in his seat and prodded his partner. “Grim! Wake up.”

  “We there yet?”

  “When you say there, what is it you mean exactly?” RatOx asked.

  “The Lost Picman’s Mine, of course.”

  “The lost mine. You think we’re at the mine that is lost.”

  Grimbledung sat up and stretched. “Well sure. I mean, that’s where we’re going right?”

  RatOx snorted. “We’re at the Toll Bridge.”

  “Is that where the mine is?”

  “No, Grim,” said Drimblerod. “I figured you’d want to be awake for the bridge.”

  “It is a real nice bridge.”

  Drimblerod nodded at his partner. “Especially now that the Trolls are gone.”

  “And that goat, Billy.” Grimbledung stuck out his tongue as he clambered onto the seat beside Drimblerod. “Pretty gruff fellow, that old goat.”

  “Billy wasn’t the nicest of fellows.”

  Grimbledung nodded. “Of course, he got rid of the Trolls.”

  “How’d he do that?” RatOx asked. “Did he knock them into the river?”

  Grimbledung thought for a moment. “From what I understand, he hired the Trolls as his personal muscle and set himself up as a hired assassin.”

  “A goat assassin?”

  Drimblerod nodded. “He was pretty successful for a while.”

  “Till what?”

  “The Trolls came across of a barrel of mint jelly and that was the end of old Bill.”

  RatOx stuck out his tongue. “I’m sorry I asked.”

  “In any case, they crossed out the ‘r’ and now of course...”

  “Halt!” Said a voice from under the bridge.

  “Here we go.”

  “Drimblerod fished a coin from his belt pouch. “I have the toll right here. A copper.”

  “Well toss it down!” There was a short pause. “Hey, you got a wagon up there too?”

  RatOx looked back at the Gnomes. “Uhm. No?”

  “I am sure I heard wheels!”

  “That was my belly,” said RatOx.

  “You got wheels in your belly?”

  “I was hungry.”

  “You a goat?”

  “I’m pretty sure I’m an Ox.”

  “You’re not sure?”

  “Well, I’ve never personally seen one, so…”

  “Oxen pull wagons you know!”

  Drimblerod exhaled loudly. “Fine, fine. We have a wagon.”

  “How many axles?”

  “One?” Tried Grimbledung.

  “That’d be a chariot. Rich folk use chariots you know. Rich. Chariots are a silver.”

  Grimbledung frowned. “This is absurd.”

  “It’s a regular wagon!” Drimblerod snapped. “Just a plain wagon with four wheels.”

  “You got a spare wheel?”

  Reflexively Drimblerod looked to the side of the wagon where a spare wheel was strapped. “Nope.”

  “Not very safe traveling without a spare you know. Break a couple of spokes and you’re on foot.”

  “Will you just tak
e the copper so we can be on our way?” Drimblerod maneuvered the coin over his thumb, preparing to flip it into the copper funnel; affixed to the side of the large bridge.

  “So where you heading?”

  “I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” said RatOx.

  “I’m just curious is all,” said the voice. “Making conversation. Such as it is.”

  RatOx looked back at the Gnomes. Grimbledung shook his head violently then put his finger to his lips. He waved the other hand over his head.

  RatOx grinned at him. “We’re on an adventure to find the Lost Picman’s Mine and the untold treasures found within.”

  “Gaaaa!” Screeched Grimbledung. He flopped into the back of the wagon, arms and legs flailing in the air.

  “Well, have a good time on your trip there,” said the voice.

  Drimblerod hesitated in flipping the coin. “Wait; you know of the Lost Picman’s Mine?”

  “Sure, sure. Famous place.”

  “Gaaa!” Grimbledung clambered back into the seat. “Shhhhh!” He said, finger to his lip again. He shook a fist at RatOx.

  Drimblerod put his hand on his partner’s shoulder. “Just hold on, Grim.”

  Grimbledung held on.

  To the seat.

  “You know where the mine is? Have you been there? We’d pay an extra copper for that kind of information.”

  Grimbledung shook his head. “Secret!” He hissed.

  “So have you been there?” Drimblerod flipped the coin into the funnel. It spun around the rim then clattered down the tube that led under the bridge. “That’s for the toll.”

  “Thanks. You sure you don’t have a spare wheel?”

  Drimblerod pursed his lips. “You mentioned knowing about the mine?” He jingled his coin purse.

  “Well, haven’t been there myself but I met a fellow who has.”

  RatOx snorted. “We’re supposed to believe a random voice from under a bridge about the location of a lost mine?”

  “Sure,” said the voice. “And why not?”

  Drimblerod pulled out another copper. “Got the copper here. So who’s the holder of the information on the...”

  “Don’t say Lost Picman’s Mine,” whispered Grimbledung.