I pull back and look into his eyes. I know he means every word that he just said. I know he wouldn’t just take Jackson off of the ventilator, but I know it wasn’t an easy decision. I put my hand on his cheek and say, “Dem, I don’t hate you at all. Everything has been a complete cluster fuck and I wanted good news. I know this cannot be easy on you and I am so sorry that I made it worse by acting like that. I’m sorry.” I say the last part, almost choking on my cry.
“I don’t hate you, Av, I never could. I know you hate it just as much as I do. I hate having to be the one to do it. Why don’t you go in to see Jackson first?” He says and he holds my hand. I wasn’t expecting that. I look at him again to see if he is serious, and he is.
“Go in there first, really Av, I want you to go in first. Take all the time you need. They aren’t taking him off for another half an hour. Go be with him.” Demetri says with a weak smile while trying to contain his tears. I put my arms around him and hug him. “Thank you, Demetri, thank you. “I kiss his cheek and let go. Looking at my brother, I see tears running down his face again. I walk up to him, hug him, and tell him I love him as I walk to Jackson’s room.
Standing at his door, I take a deep breath and push the door open. I cry freely as I walk in. A nurse is in there looking at all his monitors.
“Hello. I will be out of your hair in a few seconds, my dear.” I don’t say anything, I just nod.
When she leaves, I sit down in the chair beside Jackson’s bed, take his good hand in mine and link our fingers together. This will be the last time we ever get to hold hands. Just the thought of it makes me cry even more. I take a deep breath and think back to what Jared had said.
You go in there and you pour your fucking heart out to him. You love him, so you will be there for him.
Kissing Jackson’s hand, I look up at his face and start to tell him what’s in my heart. “Jackson, this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I don’t want to do it, but I have to. When I first met you, I saw the hat and those amazing green eyes and I thought, “Man, he is really good looking.” I had to get away from you because I felt like I was gonna pounce on you.” I say with a light chuckle.
“The first time I saw you holding Rhys, it made my heart weak. I’ve never seen a man look that sexy holding his child before. Then, the first time you asked me to watch Rhys, as you know, I was extremely happy.” I take a deep breath and continue. “Even through our big fight, I knew I loved you then. What really made me fall in love with you more, was the day I was in my car and you told me you were falling in love with me. Looking into your green eyes when you said it, I knew I would never love another person the way I do you.” I feel my tears starting to escape, but I let them go. I need to get this all out.
“Jackson, you will always be the love of my life. I will always think about our cuddles, our food fights, the way your face was when Rhys held his hands out to me, most of all, I’ll miss hearing your voice telling me you love me.” I am full on crying now. I put my head on his hand and cry. This is so hard to do. I hate this.
Lifting my head up after a few minutes, I get up off the chair and kiss his head. I pull back and then put a soft kiss on his cheek. I look at his eye, even though they are closed, and say, “I have something else to tell you. No one except Jared knows. I wanted you to be the first to know, but it didn’t work out that way.” I lean in, so I’m close to his ear and say, “You’re gonna be a daddy again, Jackson. I found out at the doctor’s. I had no clue at all, but I got to see the baby and hear his or her heartbeat.” I reach in my pocket and take out the ultrasound picture of our baby. I hold it in front of his face. “That’s our baby, Jackson. I will tell our baby about you every day. I will do the same with Rhys. It breaks my heart that your brother will have him, but I understand.”
I sit back down and once again, take his hand in mine, “Jackson,” I say as the tears start to come back. This is it, I have to say goodbye. Taking in a deep breath, I kiss his hand so hard that my lips hurt and I continue, “I love you, Jackson Daniels, and don’t you ever forget it.”
I get up from the chair, kiss his head, his nose, his cheek, and then his mouth. I need to feel his lips once more. I pull back and kiss the same hard I’ve been holding one last time.
I start to walk towards the door, and stop and whisper over my shoulder, “This isn’t goodbye Jackson, this is an ‘I’ll see you later’. I love you, so, so much. Always remember me. I love you.”
I put my hard on the door to open it and start to walk out when I hear a hoarse and grumbled voice say, “Sunshine?”
I stop dead in my tracks, instantly turn around and let out a loud scream. A nurse rushes to me and holds my hand. That’s the last thing I remember before falling to the floor.
Jackson
I hear my Sunshine talking about memories to me. I feel her constantly kissing me and holding my hand. I try to squeeze back, but it doesn’t work. Why is she crying? Why can’t I open my eyes? I’m going to be a father again? I just want to open my eyes and tell her how happy I am. Where am I and why can’t I open my eyes?
When she tells me this isn’t goodbye, but and I’ll see you later, I start freaking out inside. I have no idea why she is saying those things, but I just want to see her.
When she whispers “I love you” to me, it takes everything I have in me to say her name. It hurt like hell because something’s in my throat, but I say her name around whatever is in my mouth and then hear her scream.
What the hell is going on?
Chapter 39
Groaning, I open my eyes. A bright light makes me wince and close my eyes again. “Oh my God, she finally wakes up!” I hear my bubbly best friend say sarcastically. Opening them back up, I put my hand over my eyes to shield the lights. Looking around, I realize I’m in a hospital bed, hooked up to a machine and an I.V. in my arm.
Shaking my head, I look at Britnie and ask her, “What the hell happened? Why am I in a hospital bed?” The recent news comes flying back to me. Jackson woke up. He said my name. JACKSON IS AWAKE! Trying to get out of bed, Britnie puts her hand out and shakes her head no. “Move B, Jackson is awake and I need to see him!” I scream at her.
“Av, you passed out when he woke up. You didn’t hit your head or anything, but apparently,” she says cockily, “you wouldn’t wake up when they shook you or used smelling salts. You are dehydrated and until that sucker right there,” she says pointing to the I.V., “Is empty, you aren’t going anywhere. Want to test me and see?” I groan at her. I really want to hit her right now. I just want to see Jackson. I guess I haven’t been taking good care of myself since all this has happened, which isn’t good considering I’m pregnant.
I instantly reach down and hold my stomach. Looking at Britnie I say, “B, um,” she holds up her hard and cuts me off.
“Oh, no you don’t. I already know. Actually, Jared told the doctors and then called me to come and sit with you.” She puts her head down and shakes it. Looking back up, I see she has tears in her eyes. “Av, I know a lot of shit has been going on and I haven’t been myself, but you could’ve at least told me. I would’ve been there for you.”
Grabbing her hand I say, “B, I wanted to tell Jackson first and then I went a little crazy and I told Jared. I thought I was losing Jackson, I had to tell someone and Jared was there. I swear, I was going to tell you after I told Jackson.”
“I believe you, lover, but I swear if you ever withhold info from me like that again, you will be in the hospital and not from passing out.” She says trying to be serious.
I laugh and say, “Okay, B, I promise.On a side note, how long have I been in here?”
“Two hours. You’re almost done with the I.V, so I’m gonna get the doctor and see about getting you discharged so I can take you to see your man. By the way, he is raising hell in his room.” She says and then shrugs.
As she walks out of the room, I sit here and imagine Jackson going all alpha, wanting answers. Britnie better hurry up s
o I can get out of here before he causes more havoc.
Jackson
“Hello Mr. Daniels, I am Dr. Perez and I have been your attending physician since you’ve been here. Let me take that tube out of your throat and get you some water. If will hurt at first to talk, but we will go slowly. I will then ask questions and answer any that you may have. Sound like a plan?” I nod.
After I hear my Sunshine scream, I try to get out of bed, but I can’t move. All my machines start going crazy. Doctors rush in to check on me and nurses are helping Avery off the floor. It’s like a madhouse in here. After they check my vitals and all, they leave the room. Jared and Demetri come running into the room and stop. They both stare at me and then begin to cry. They both approach me and hug me tightly. Demetri is whispering his brotherly “I love you’s” and Jared looks as if he’s seen a ghost. Trying to clear my throat to get some answers, the doctor asks them both to leave and now, he is taking this uncomfortable as fuck thing out of my mouth.
“Here, drink some of this, slowly.” The nurse says. My throat is drier than the desert right now and it hurts like hell.
“Mr. Daniels, do you remember why you are here?” I remember a Mac truck coming out of nowhere, slamming into me. I remember my Sunshine holding my son and saying she loves me. My Sunshine. Trying to get out of bed to get to her, Dr. Perez advises me not to get out of me. He gestures to my leg and I see that it is in a huge cast. Fuck.
“Doc, I need my girlfriend right now. I need to see her. I don’t give a fuck about these machines and needles in my arm. Bring me my girlfriend, now.” I say angrily. “Mr. Daniels, you cannot get out of bed. I’m not supposed to tell you this, but hopefully it will keep you calm. Your girlfriend is in another room receiving fluids through an I.V. When she passed out, we took her and checked on her. She is dehydrated and needs those fluids. She and the baby are perfectly fine. She should be discharged very soon.” The doctor says to me.
Baby? All her words come flooding back to me. I remember her telling me that I was going to be a father again and that she would make sure our baby and Rhys knew who I was. I’m going to be a dad again. Built up emotions start to show. I let my tears run freely. I can’t wait to hold my Sunshine and tell her how happy I am.
Just as I start to wipe off my tears, the doctor announces that he will be back and Jared walks in. He steps close to me and hugs me lightly. “I am so happy you’re okay man. I should kick your ass for scaring us all like that, but,” he gestures to me, from head to toe, “I can see that you’re pretty fucked up, so I’ll let this one slide.” I chuckle when he says that. Leave it up to Jared to crack jokes. Laughter is exactly what I need, besides my Sunshine and my son.
“Sorry, man, I really didn’t mean to.” I say back to him.
“I know man. Look,” he runs his hand thru his hair and says, “You really did scare the fuck out of all of us. Your brother had to make a decision he didn’t want to and, Avery, well, she lost it. She was so torn that she literally went apeshit. Please don’t ever scare us like that again.” I take in his words and wait for him to continue. “I love you like a brother dude, and I, uh, I am really glad that you finally woke up.”
Hearing him say that makes a question pop into my head. “How long have I been out?” He shakes his head and whispers, “11 days man, 11 long as fuck days.”
Holy shit. I was out for a long time, no wonder everyone is all fucked up. I shake my head and say, “That’s a long time man.” He shakes his head to agree with me.
“I know I’m gonna have a lot of work ahead of me. It’s gonna be a bitch to get me back together, but I’ll do it.” I say and then take a deep breath. Looking back at Jared I say, “I need to see your sister dude. I know I sound like a pansy ass, but I need to see her.”
He smiles and says, “Nah, you’re good man. I’ll go see what’s going on with that. He walks over to the door and starts to open it. Just as it opens all the way, I see my Sunshine standing there with her arms interlocked with Britnie’s. I know I can’t get up, but I try my best to sit up.
Just as I sit up as best I can, my beautiful Sunshine is rushing over to me. She stops in front of me and is crying. I grab her and hug her as tight as I can.
“I’m so sorry Sunshine, I’m so sorry.” I whisper in her ear. She shakes her head and says, “None of that right now babe, all I want right now is to feel those lips on mine.” The second she says that, I crash my lips to hers. It feels like heaven to kiss my Sunshine. This is heaven. This is exactly where I’m supposed to be and who I’m supposed to be with. My Sunshine is my everything and I can’t wait to make her mine, officially.
Epilogue
Jackson
The last three months have been a whirlwind of things. Physical therapy has been a bitch to complete. Whoever could’ve thought that trying to walk again would be so hard? Now I know why Rhys kept getting so mad when he started to walk. Falling on your ass hurts and not being able to just walk right away, pissed me off.
Besides my PT, everything else has been going great. My ribs have healed, my lung has gotten better, and I now have full use of both of my hands. Avery both loves and hates the fact that my hands are back in working order. I have been making up for lost time by grabbing her whenever I can. Her being pregnant and carrying my child is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. She absolutely glows all day long.
My Sunshine loves being pregnant. Never once has she complained about her mild baby weight gain, or the fact that her feet are swollen. She thinks I don’t notice her faces about them, but I do, and yet, she never says a word. She goes with the flow.
Rhys has been amazing and I can’t believe he is walking. When he first started to walk, he was trying to get Avery’s attention while she was on the phone, but she never looked his way. Out of nowhere he said Mama, and she dropped her phone and turned around quickly. She put her hands over her face and then ran over to him. Kneeling down in front of him, she said, “What did you say Chubbs? Say it again for me.” All the while, I’m sitting on the sofa with my mouth wide open. I never expected him to say that as his first word, but I couldn’t be more proud of my boy. He ended up saying it again and had my Sunshine in tears. She had asked me if it was ok for him to call her that, and honestly I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Are you almost ready babe, we gotta leave now or we will be late for our appt.” Avery says as she interrupts my thoughts. Today we find out the sex of our baby. I am extremely happy and feel like a kid in a candy store. I also have a surprise for my beautiful Sunshine later on.
We sign in at the doctor’s and wait for her to be called back. “Jackson, relax. We are just going to find out what we are having. Your nerves are getting the best of you right now.” She says as she puts her hard on my knee to stop it front shaking. I hadn’t realized I was bobbing my leg up and down. I know I’m excited, but I hadn’t realized just how much, until now.
“Avery Michaels.” The nurse calls her name and I cringe that it’s not Daniels. That will all change soon.
Avery pees in a cup and they do… whatever else it is that they do. I really wasn’t paying too much attention. We are that much closer to finding out and all this other stuff is getting in my way.
“Okay dear, just follow me.” The middle aged nurse says. We follow her and she tells us the doctor will be in shortly. She gets up onto the exam table and lays back. I go over and kiss her head and then her belly. As soon as my lips are off of her stomach, the doctor walks in.
“Okay, let’s get the show on the road!” Dr. Lee says excitedly. She checks all that she needs to and then asks if we want to find out the sex of the baby. We both say yes at the same time. “Well, it looks like there is gonna be another one of you.” She says pointing at me. Avery takes a deep breath and then starts to tear up.
“A boy?” I say, obviously I’m still in shock. Dr. Lee shakes her head and confirms that we are indeed, having a boy.
“Do y’all have a name picked out for him yet?” D
r. Lee asks. I look at Avery and she shakes her head yes. “Kaleb Joseph Daniels. That’s our son’s name.” I say as I smile proudly. I am beyond happy right now. I thank the doctor and kiss my Sunshine hard. I need to get her home, and fast.
“Well that’s a wonderful name. Congrats again, to the both of you.” Dr. Lee says and then tells us to meet her up front.
We get her next appointment date and head home. Jared had offered to watch Rhys while we went to the appointment. He’s even trying to get Rhys to call him Uncle Jared, even though Rhys can’t say full words yet. Jared loves that little boy and I am glad that my son has taken to him the way he does. Jared also knows I want to be alone with Avery after the appointment.
Arriving home, I walk over to the passenger side door and open it. Avery puts her hand in mine and we walk up the steps and open the door.
“Oh my God!” My Sunshine screams. She shakes her head and then starts to cry. She looks at me and asks, “Jackson, what is this? What is going on?”
What Avery doesn’t know, is that while we were at the doctor, I had Britnie and Colin set up rose petals all over the foyer and into the living room. I also had them set out those pre-lit candles.
I walk over to her and kiss her. After I’m done assaulting her mouth, I lead her over to the sofa. I tell her to sit and I sit right next to her, with her hands in mine.
“Sunshine, I know that we’ve had our ups and downs, but they have brought us closer then we have ever been. These last few months have been so amazing and I want that every day for the rest of my life. I want you to be Rhys’ mama and I want you to adopt him and make him officially yours. I also want to make you officially mine. I love you Sunshine, and there is no life without you in it.” I get down on one knee and pull the black box out of my pocket. I open it and show her as I say, “Sunshine, will you do me the honor of waking up beside me every day, being a mama to Rhys, kicking my ass when I need it, giving me that amazing sex you like daily,” I say the last part with a smirk and receive a chuckle from Avery, “but most importantly, will you be my wife and stand beside me for the rest of my life?”
Found By You (The Found Series) Page 15