The Summer We Fell Apart

by Robin Antalek

  Finn nodded slowly before he returned to the kitchen for his own mug of coffee.

  Kate crawled off the end of the air mattress and stood up without spilling her coffee. No small feat.

  While she stretched, Finn asked, “Do you still run?”

  “Not as much as I’d like, you?”

  He frowned and Kate let it drop. Stupid question, she’d admit, although he brought it up. There was an awkward silence between them when Kate picked up her phone to call her assistant and Finn went outside. While Kate talked, she could see him walking the property, coffee cup in hand. His mouth was moving and he appeared to be talking to himself.

  When Kate was done on the phone, she went into the bathroom, removed Finn’s shorts and T-shirt, and carefully folded them over the towel bar before she dressed, brushed her teeth with one of the brushes from the packet she’d picked up the night before, and washed her face. Finn was still outside when she emerged from the house. He came from behind the pool house just as she was getting in her car.

  “Hey,” Kate yelled. “I have to go.”

  Finn nodded and held up the pad Kate had given him. “Making notes,” he called back.

  She was late and she didn’t want to stop and get into things now. She wanted Finn to take control and maybe the note-taking was the first step. Kate shut the door and started the car. Over the engine, she called, “I don’t know when I’m going to get back here tonight.”

  He acknowledged with his coffee mug raised high in the air that he’d heard her, and then turned his back to her before she had a chance to say anything else.

  Later that evening, when Kate got home, she and Finn went into town to eat dinner. It was a warm evening and they found a place on the main street, just down from where Kate had coffee that first day she was here, where they could sit at a café table on an outdoor patio. The waiter had seemed reluctant to seat them there, afraid that the sixty-five-degree temperature was too chilly for a California evening in early October. Kate and Finn had surprised each other by laughing at the same time, and he seemed to take that as a sufficient enough answer that they didn’t want to move.

  When the waiter had left with their drink orders, Finn leaned back in his chair and looked up at the night sky. “I was freezing yesterday morning.”

  Kate recalled seeing their father’s jacket in Finn’s duffel. He must have taken it off before he got off the plane, but she said nothing, just nodded and listened.

  “Sometimes I forget other places exist, you know? I mean, I guess I just get used to my little crappy piece of the world and that’s all I see.” He took a deep breath. “It even smells different here.”

  “You think?” Kate didn’t smell anything different about California. If it had a distinct odor, she imagined something akin to burning plastic.

  The waiter set down their ice teas and took their dinner orders. While he was still at the table, Kate noticed Finn slip the notebook she had given him out of his back pocket. He flipped open the cover while the waiter finished writing down Kate’s order and drummed his fingers on the table.

  When they were alone, he said, “Okay—so I took an inventory today and tried to list things in priority order.”

  “I want to get out of the hotel—soon,” Kate interrupted.

  Finn held up a finger. “I’m getting there.” He outlined a plan where he would attack the pool house first. Make it livable with fresh paint, a rehabbed kitchen, and bath.

  “I don’t want to spend too much money in there,” Kate said, frowning as she reached for a breadstick from the basket the waiter brought to the table. “The main house is my priority.”

  “Jesus, Kate, can I get through a sentence?”

  She crunched down on the breadstick and chewed. When it was obvious that Kate was still chewing, he went on. “The main room just needs paint, the tiles buffed. There’s a few pieces of rotten woodwork I need to replace around the sills and the French doors in the dining room, but all in all, I’m surprised.”

  He paused and Kate waved him on with the end of the breadstick.

  “You can keep the general layout of the kitchen. I’ll give you a nice slab of wood for a counter. The old fridge works, so that’s up to you, but I think you’ll need a new stove.”

  “I don’t cook.”

  “Never?”

  “Don’t you think I did enough of that when we were growing up?”

  Finn didn’t answer, just consulted his pad as he sipped his ice tea.

  “Can I get away with just a toaster oven and microwave in there?”

  “Sure, that’s up to you.”

  Kate nodded. “Get rid of the stove. Add the counter. And I guess I need a new fridge. That one is disgusting.”

  “Okay,” Finn said quietly as he made notes.

  “What?” Kate prodded, sensing something was wrong.

  Finn looked up. “Nothing. It’s your money and your call.”

  “Is my money bothering you?”

  “No, Kate, your money is not bothering me.”

  “Then what is?”

  “Nothing…can I go on?”

  Kate motioned for him to continue.

  “You are lucky that the tile is in such good condition, but the bathroom?” He hesitated. “You can resurface the sink or I can get a new one. The tub is okay—we can add one of those shower attachments if you want and then new paint, fix the rotten sill, re-caulk.” He looked up from his list to see if Kate was still paying attention.

  She smiled at him. “You can do all this?”

  “Sure,” he answered.

  “Really?”

  Finn sat up straighter in his seat. “I said yes, didn’t I?”

  “You did,” Kate answered, suddenly distracted by the way the fading light outside illuminated Finn’s scalp. Even with his hair cut short, Kate noticed he still drew second glances from women. Whatever Finn had, even in this state, was undeniable. “Why did you cut your hair?”

  Finn’s hand flew to his head. He rubbed a palm against the bristle edge on top as if he forgot that his hair was short. But he didn’t give her an answer. Instead, he said, “I’ll focus inside first, but that brush has to be cut down away from the house. You’re going to have all sorts of animals and bugs getting into the walls and up under the tile roof. That tile can harbor a lot of crap you don’t want in—”

  “Don’t touch the lemon tree.”

  “But it’s rotten,” Finn said.

  “No way. It has a ton of fruit!”

  “The branches are black, Kate, with some sort of nasty fungus growing on them. I went to pick a lemon and the entire branch broke off in my hand.”

  Kate’s eyes got wide at the mention of the branch and she felt an unreasonable panic rising in her chest. “Leave it alone, please.”

  “Whatever,” Finn said as he leaned away from the table to allow the waiter to set down his burger and fries. “It’s a fruit tree. What’s the big deal?”

  Kate picked up her fork and stabbed a beet atop her salad. “No deal, okay? Don’t you have enough to worry about besides a lemon tree?”

  Finn chewed a French fry slowly before he said, “I don’t worry.”

  “I mean,” Kate continued, ignoring his statement, “you have to do everything inside. We can get help outside. A gardener?” she offered.

  “Sure,” Finn said as he took a bite of burger. He hesitated before he chewed, but then he began in earnest, with both sides of his cheeks puffed out. When he was done, he immediately took another bite and started all over again.

  Kate moved her food around her plate, unsure of where to go next with Finn when she heard someone say, “I thought that was you.”

  Kate and Finn turned toward the street at the same time. Shelley was on the other side of the iron fencing, smiling widely in their direction.

  “You live around here?” Shelley asked, unable to mask the surprise in her voice.

  “Yes,” Kate choked out, feeling oddly cornered. Did she want Shelley to know th
ey were neighbors? No, definitely not.

  “Huh,” Shelley said and narrowed her eyes but seemed to stop short of making what Kate guessed would be a derogatory comment.

  She squirmed under Shelley’s microscopic gaze but said nothing. At least, nothing came out of her mouth. She was thinking plenty. One: that she wished Finn would stop chewing and staring down at his plate as if this were his first meal out of prison. Fuck.

  “So where?”

  “What?” Kate stammered, caught unaware.

  “Where do you live?”

  Reluctantly, Kate gave her the address and watched as Shelley’s face changed. Perhaps she was willing to forget that people like Kate weren’t a bonus to the neighborhood. “I’ve always wondered what was behind that gate.”

  She was waiting for Kate to fill in the blanks, which Kate did, begrudgingly and against her better judgment, explaining that she had brought her brother Finn here to help her with the renovation, that they were, in fact, discussing that right now. She had pointed to Finn’s notebook left lying open on the table as if she had to prove to Shelley that she was legitimate.

  “Sounds like a big job.” She addressed this statement to Finn, who was still, to Kate’s dismay, chewing, so he didn’t respond.

  “Finn can handle it,” Kate answered for him.

  Shelley smiled like she didn’t believe it. Shit, Kate barely believed it. This whole thing was going to be a nightmare. What was she thinking by buying a house?

  Then Shelley reached across the fence and touched Finn on the shoulder and he jumped, making her laugh. “Hey, sorry. I don’t want to come between a man and his burger.”

  Stop looking like a crackhead, Kate prayed silently. Please.

  “I was just going to say that since you don’t know the area I can help you,” Shelley continued, “offer some names, places to go for paint and that kind of thing.”

  “You don’t have to do that,” Kate said. “But thanks.”

  Shelley didn’t pay any attention to what Kate had said. Instead, she looked at Finn and said, “Really, I don’t mind. I have a lot of free time on my hands lately.”

  Finn mumbled something that sounded like thanks and then excused himself.

  Kate watched him go, a little nervous to be alone with Shelley.

  “So is this going to hold things up?” Shelley asked, not waiting for an answer before she said teasingly, “Or are you holding a grudge because of the box thing?”

  In her best professional voice, Kate said, “I am your attorney. I wouldn’t hold a grudge.”

  Shelley laughed.

  Kate felt the flush rise from her chest and color her cheeks.

  Shelley pointed at Kate’s cheeks and said, “Awww, that’s so cute. Really. You don’t see that anymore.”

  Kate glanced toward the door of the restaurant. Where the hell was Finn? She couldn’t tell if Shelley was making fun of her or not, so she did her best to respond neutrally. “Shelley, your case is a priority, believe me.”

  “You’ve given me no reason not to believe you. I’m just asking because according to my stepson’s wife, he and his attorney are getting ready to do something big.”

  “His wife is giving you insider information?”

  Shelley shrugged and winked. “What can I say? She likes me.”

  Kate sighed and toyed with the napkin in her lap as she thought about what to do next. “He knows who is representing you, I assume?”

  Shelley nodded.

  “Well, I hadn’t received anything by the time I left the office this evening.” Kate gnawed on her bottom lip. “Or there’s a chance he’s bluffing?” She felt stupid and unprepared. She wasn’t even sure exactly what kind of settlement they were looking at or even, really, what was at stake besides a few sophomoric paintings. She was embarrassed to admit that she hadn’t put much merit in this whole case. She saw it as one of Ben’s follies, although she was a little afraid of being proven wrong.

  Finn returned to the table. He was paler than usual and there was a bead of sweat along his top lip. He hovered next to his seat but didn’t sit down. Instead, he looked at Kate and mumbled, “Can I have the car keys?” His fingers shook as he held his hand out for the keys.

  Without questioning him, Kate took the keys from her bag and handed them over. His fingers were freezing as they closed over hers. He gave a little wave in Shelley’s direction and then he disappeared back into the restaurant.

  “I’ll get the bill and be right out,” Kate called after him, but she was sure he hadn’t heard her.

  “Hardly a spokesperson for the food here, huh?” Shelley said as she watched him go. “Poor guy. I get sick every time I fly.”

  Kate wasn’t listening. She stood, slung her bag over her shoulder, and started off after Finn. She was halfway through the restaurant when she remembered she had taken off without saying good-bye to Shelley, but it was too late to do anything about it now.

  Finn refused to allow Kate to help him out of the car. As soon as she pulled into the drive, he went inside and holed up in the bathroom. He was still in there when she fell asleep and as far as she could tell when she woke, he’d spent the night in there.

  She tapped lightly on the door and, when she didn’t get a response, turned the handle and pushed the door ajar. She held her breath, fearing the worst, but it was obvious that Finn wasn’t in the room. That was when she caught sight of his foot sticking out from the closet on the other side of the bathroom. She swung the door all the way open and stepped inside. Finn was curled on the floor in the closet, wrapped in a bath towel. His eyes were closed and Kate, for the second time in as many days, watched her brother’s chest rise and fall in sleep until she backed out of the room and shut the door.

  When Kate arrived home that evening, she was surprised that the lights were on in the house, and from the back, she could see her brother standing in the center of the room staring at the wall.

  He turned briefly to acknowledge her as she walked in the door and dumped her briefcase onto the floor before he pointed to the dozen or more paint chips he’d taped to the area around the bookcases.

  “What’s this?” Kate asked as she joined him.

  “Paint colors. I pulled what I could from memory—I was trying to match the gold in the floor tiles.” He showed her one on the far left. “I like this, but it’s got too much of a green undertone.” He ripped the rejected paint chip off the wall. “Over here—these are warmer yellows.”

  Kate shook her head. “Can we back up?” Why did it seem the simplest of things had become a struggle to comprehend? “When I left this morning you were passed out on the floor of the closet.”

  “I wasn’t passed out.”

  “Okay, sleeping,” Kate emended. “How do you feel?”

  “Fine.”

  “Fine? Do you think you had food poisoning?”

  “No.”

  “Do you want to see a doctor? I don’t even have one yet but I’m sure my secretary could suggest one.”

  “I don’t want a doctor. I want you to choose a paint color.”

  Kate turned back to the wall. “Are you drinking?”

  “Fuck it, Kate. Was I drunk when we went to dinner last night? I had a goddamn ice tea.” He paused and said, “You saw that, right?”

  “I was just asking. You could have done a few shots when you excused yourself to go to the bathroom.” As she said it, she realized how ridiculous she sounded, but she couldn’t help herself.

  “I’m broke,” Finn said. “How sharp of an attorney are you?”

  There was a scratchy feeling at the back of Kate’s throat. She felt, without much effort, that tears would spring from her eyes if she didn’t get a grip. “So how did you get all these?”

  “Shelley.”

  Kate’s stomach flipped. “Shelley?” she repeated.

  “Yes,” Finn snapped. “Shelley. She came by to see how I was feeling and bring me some soup.”

  Kate groaned. She could just see her over here
with some awful seaweed soup and detoxification tea. “Listen, I am not comfortable with this—she’s a client!”

  “But she’s not mine.” Finn adopted a patient tone as if he were speaking to a toddler. “When she saw that I was up and feeling okay, she offered to show me a few of the stores she’s done business with in the past. She understands that neither you nor I know where to go or even how to begin. She’s lived here forever. What’s wrong with that?”

  Kate tapped her foot as she considered Shelley invading her space. All of a sudden, she sneezed three times in a row. It had to be because Finn had opened the windows, so now the entire house smelled like Vicks from the eucalyptus.

  “How do you think this is all going to get done?” Finn went on. “I didn’t have any money, otherwise I would have bought some basic stuff just to get me started. We need joint compound, spackling, putty knives, wood…” He trailed off. “I made another list.” He gestured toward the chips. “So I figured while I was there I might as well do something useful and I picked up the color chips.” He hesitated before he added, “She also showed me a job board where guys looking to pick up construction work leave their cards. Shelley said they are mostly legal. She figured you wouldn’t want to use anyone fresh from the border.”

  As Kate searched in her bag for a tissue, she stopped herself from commenting on Shelley’s thoughtfulness. She hadn’t thought this through. Finn was right. They didn’t know where to go. He didn’t have a car, nor had Kate given him money or a phone. All she had wanted was to bring Finn here and give him a job. Was that the worst motivation in the world?

  “I can tell from your face you’ve changed your mind about this.”

  “What?” Kate said, startled from her reverie. “No. Not at all.”

  “So what do you want to do?”

  “You promise me you’re not drinking?”

  Finn sighed. “Want me to piss in a cup for you?”

  “That’s drug testing,” Kate corrected him.

  “I don’t need this from you, Kate.” He turned back to the wall. “Maybe I should just go back to Boston.”