Children No More-ARC

by Mark L. Van Name

  I nodded without releasing the boy. I whispered into his ear, "It will. I promise." I pulled his head away from me so we could see one another. "I've been straight with you before. I'm being straight now: You will get better." I let go of him and stood. "You have to go."

  His arms fell away, but he didn't back up. "I won't forget you," he said.

  I wanted to tell him the truth, that with any luck at all he would, that we had to hope that all of the time here and the months fighting in the jungle would fade away, like etchings in sand washing out to sea in the rolling currents of time until just the faintest of impressions remained, impressions visible only in the light of moons and stars on the darkest nights, but I didn't. Instead, I told him a different truth, one I knew with utter certainty. "Nor I, you."

  Gustafson took Bony's shoulder, turned him, and led him off. As he steered the boy, the man glanced at me, smiled, and nodded his head. He focused again on Bony. The two of them merged into the ongoing rush.

  I watched until they disappeared into the streaming crowd of boys and counselors, long past when I could track either of their heads, until I was sure they were gone, and for a bit after that. I thought about following them, about going with them, even if for just a little while, but I was only trying to fool myself.

  It didn't work.

  I headed to Lobo.

  Chapter 67

  In the former rebel complex, planet Tumani

  "Lim's waiting outside," Lobo said over the comm when I was less than half a minute away from him. "It's time to go; want me to trank her?"

  I sighed. "No. She has every reason to yell at me. Maybe she'll feel better after she does."

  I turned the corner of the nearest building and saw her. She was leaning against Lobo and staring straight ahead. I don't know where her mind was, but she didn't notice me until I was only a few meters away.

  "Inside?" I said.

  She nodded.

  Lobo opened a side hatch. As soon as we'd entered him, he closed it.

  "Look," I said, "I know you're mad, and I'm sorry I had to play it this way, but—"

  She held up her hands. "Stop. I'm not angry at you." She twisted her head a bit as if trying to work out a kink in her neck. "Well, I'm not as mad as you'd expect. I'm more upset with myself."

  "What?"

  "I've been thinking about it ever since I left Wylak. I have to admit that you made the right call—though not, I suspect, for the right reasons. You didn't tell me because you thought I'd give away the plan or let others learn about it, right?"

  I nodded. "Both."

  "Well," she said, "those were the wrong reasons. I could have played my part in your little drama more than well enough, and I know how to control the flow of information to a team when necessary. The reason you were right not to tell me, though, is simple: I wouldn't have gone along with it."

  I suspect the expression on my face matched my internal confusion. "Why? It worked, the boys are heading safely out of this system, and so we achieved our objective."

  "Because of what we're leaving behind," she said, her anger evident for the first time. "You've turned that evil bastard into a hero—and almost certainly given him more power in the government."

  "Yes," I said. "It was the only answer I could find. It was far from ideal: I also forced the boys to move to a new planet." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "If I could have thought of a better solution, I would have gone with it." I didn't tell her what would happen eventually, that Jack wouldn't stop until he'd taken everything from Wylak, because as far as anyone except Maggie knew, Jack was just a mouthpiece—and I had promised Jack I'd keep it that way.

  "I know," she said, "and that's my point. I didn't have a plan. You came up with one. If you would have told me about it, I would have vetoed it immediately. You were right to keep it to yourself. I still can't help but hate what you've done for Wylak. You understand that as soon as this dies down—and that won't take long—he'll be free to press more kids into service, turn more children into soldiers, send more of them to their deaths."

  "Of course," I said, "but that was a possibility no matter what we did."

  "How do you live with that?" Sadness more than anger filled her face.

  "Live with what?" I said. "Live with the fact that a single bad politician on a single backwater planet can persuade a tired and over-taxed population to use children as soldiers? Is that what you're talking about?" The pounding of my pulse in my ears made it hard for me to hear anything else, but that didn't matter, because I wasn't waiting for her to respond. "We all live with that every single day. It was true before we came here, though it happened to be the rebel leadership, not the government, that was using the boys. It may well happen again, maybe this time with Wylak ruining the lives of more children. Are you out policing every planet? I know I'm not." I forced myself to take a slow, deep breath, unclench my fists, and lower my voice. "We saved these kids. These boys get new homes and don't have to go back to being soldiers. We fought the battle in front of us, and we won it. Maybe it's not much when you think about all the worlds and all the people, but it's everything to these kids."

  Lim stared at me for several seconds, her eyes hard. She looked away, and when she faced me again, her expression was softer. "You're right. I don't have a better answer, but at least we accomplished what we set out to do. I won't be able to see it all the way to completion, but the boys will get the lives they deserve. That's enough." She turned to leave.

  Lobo opened the side hatch.

  She stepped out. "I wouldn't have supported you, though. I wouldn't have been able to stomach helping that man. You were right: I brought you here to do things I didn't want to do, maybe even things I couldn't do. You stay safe—but don't be surprised if it's a long time before we talk again."

  "I won't be," I said as the hatch snicked shut. I kept talking, though she could no longer hear me. "No one calls me unless they need me."

  "Are we going swimming in the sea of self-pity?" Lobo said, his voice booming all around me.

  I chuckled.

  "If so," he said, "I suggest we do it on another planet many jumps away, someplace where you're not quite so attractive a target. The news of Wylak's rescue of the kids is all over Tumani. No one's stopping jump gate traffic any longer, but I don't know how long our passage will be safe."

  "You're right, of course," I said. "Let's head to the gate. I want to beat the transports there so I can make sure the boys get safely out of this system. I want to see it end."

  "Doing it," Lobo said. "As you contemplate your own painful condition, please do keep one crucial fact in mind."

  "What's that?" I said.

  "I can trank you anywhere inside me and keep you unconscious for as long as I want."

  I laughed as we rose into the sky.

  Chapter 68

  At the Tumani jump gate station

  I watched in a front display in Lobo as the first transport slid through the jump gate, the ship moving slowly into the perfect blackness of the aperture and leaving this part of the universe, to appear elsewhere instantly. When the last of it had disappeared, Lobo closed the display.

  "How long until the next transport jumps?"

  "Only a few minutes," Lobo said. "We have two incoming comms: Maggie and Jack. Jack's in a hurry, and it's audio only."

  "Him first," I said.

  Jack's smooth voice filled the air. "Heading out, Jon?"

  "Yes."

  "Excellent choice. My man is not your biggest fan, but fortunately he's rather too busy right now to send many people after you and instead delegated the task to me. I jumped on it and instructed his people to hold a set of investigative meetings and prepare a presentation on a broad range of options for keeping you in this system."

  "Thanks," I said. "Don't help him too much, though, or you might get me killed."

  "Jon, Jon, Jon," Jack said. "You know me better than that. We're friends."

  "And Maggie won't transfer the remainde
r of the funds to you until the boys, she, and I are all safely out of the system."

  "That's certainly true," he said, "but even without that incentive, I wouldn't let him harm you."

  Jack was such a good con man that you could never tell when he was lying; many times, I doubt he knew. He lived each story he told. This time, though, I believed him.

  "Thanks, Jack. A word of warning: Be careful with the Senator. He can be very dangerous when he's angry."

  "He won't trust me for a while," Jack said, "but at least for as long as he's paying me, he feels he has some control over me."

  "And does he?"

  Jack laughed. "No more than any other mark."

  "Good," I said, "because on your way out the door, please be sure to empty the house. I don't want him left with anything."

  "After even this short amount of time with him," Jack said, "I can assure you that doing so will be my great—and, I suspect, lucrative—pleasure."

  Jack and I had spent several years working cons on bad people, so I was confident he'd succeed. He knew this game well. "Thanks."

  "My master summons," Jack said, "and I must convince him he controls me, so to work I go. I wanted to say, though, that it felt good to help these boys. Thanks for bringing me into it."

  "I'm glad," I said. "Let me know when you go full-time into volunteer work."

  "Have you seen my wardrobe?" Jack said, chuckling again. "Not likely. I could never bear to dress as conservatively as those folks do." He lowered his voice. "Leave soon, Jon, and be safe."

  The holo vanished. The air went still and quiet.

  "The second transport is nearing the front of the queue," Lobo said. "Maggie is calling from it."

  "Accept."

  She appeared in a holo in the air in front of the pilot couch where I sat, turned until she was facing me, and said, "We'll be gone soon, Jon."

  I nodded. I didn't know what else to do.

  "You could follow us," she said.

  "It wouldn't be safe for the boys, at least not for a while." I shook my head. "No, it's best I vanish for a time."

  "Maybe," she said, "but I'm not staying with them, either. As soon as they're set up, I'm heading back to my people. You could follow me, join us."

  "No," I said, "I couldn't. It wouldn't be safe for you or them, and you know it." Or for me. If I stayed too long, they'd notice I didn't age, or I'd slip up and they'd spot me using my nanomachines, or someone else would be able to read my thoughts even though Maggie could not. No, I couldn't stay with them.

  I couldn't stay with anyone.

  "You know that's not the truth," Maggie said, "and I know it, too. We can take care of ourselves. Maybe someday you'll tell me the real reason you're letting me go again."

  I didn't move. I didn't speak. I did everything I could to remain completely still and show absolutely nothing even as my heart felt like it was exploding and I knew that once more I was losing her.

  She nodded her head. "I won't wait forever for you to do that, you know."

  "Yes. Yes, I do." To my ears, my voice sounded choked, tight, on the edge of breaking. I hoped it came across better to her.

  "We're set to jump," she said. "Goodbye, Jon."

  "Goodbye, Maggie."

  The holo disappeared.

  I stared at the empty air.

  Lobo stayed quiet, for which I was grateful.

  Thinking of Maggie, waiting for the shuttle to take her and the rest of the boys to safety, I could not help but think of the last time I saw Benny.

  Chapter 69

  Aggro space station, in orbit around planet Pinkelponker - 139 years earlier

  Shots slammed into the airlock door as it clanged shut. I wheeled around and smashed the control mechanism with the piece of metal bar I'd taken from my cell. Horns and alarms blared. Warning lights flashed bursts of red.

  I put Benny on the floor and ran to the escape pod entrances. I punched open the closest one. "They'll break through soon," I said. "We have to go."

  "No, Jon," Benny said. "You have to go. I'm staying."

  "No!" I said. "We can both make it. There's plenty of room in the pod. Like you told me, it'll take us straight to the jump gate and out of this system."

  "Long before we get there," Benny said, "they'll blow us up. One missile, and we're dead. Or worse, they'll chase us, capture us, and bring us back here. I can't go back in the chair, Jon. I can't."

  "So we disarm the missiles before we leave and hide once we're away."

  He shook his head. "You don't understand those machines well enough to do that, and neither do I. And we don't know anything about hiding."

  The door shook.

  "We can figure it out," I said. "I'm not leaving you."

  "No," Benny said, "we can't. There's only one way you can be safe. I'm going to use the nanomachines to destroy this place, turn it into dust, so there's no trace we were ever here."

  "No!" I said. "I've lost everyone else. I'm not going to lose you. We'll get away together, or we'll die together."

  The door shook again. A fist-size section in its center buckled inward a couple of centimeters."

  "I was in charge," Benny said. "I was supposed to get everyone off Dump."

  I wouldn't leave him. I bent to pick him up.

  "Leave me!" he screamed. "Go! If you don't get out of here, it's all been for nothing. Let me save you! Let me at least save one person!" He put his right arm flipper in his mouth and bit so hard that tears came to his eyes. When he pulled it back, drops of blood appeared on his skin. "Go now!"

  He stared at the blood. The drops dissolved into bits of gray mist that merged into a small gray cloud. It flew to the wall beside the door and spread along a metal conduit. Seconds later, the metal vanished, and the cloud grew.

  "You've started it," I said. "We can both leave now."

  I reached for him.

  He slapped me. "No, we can't. If we go before the nanomachines destroy the electrical systems, they'll still be able to come for us. Get in the pod. Put me on the counter by the controls. When it's safe, I'll signal you."

  A section of the wall as wide as my hand and as high as my knees was now part of the gray cloud.

  "The more the nanomachines consume," Benny said, "the more of themselves they make. You have to go now!"

  "You leave," I said. "I can take care of this. You can explain what they did here better than I can. You can make sure nothing like it ever happens again."

  "No!" he screamed again. He rubbed a drop of blood from his arm on the door and focused on it. Another small cloud appeared. "By the time they break through," he said, "the nanomachines will be ready." He stared at me again. Tears washed down his cheeks. "I told everyone I'd save them, and I failed them all. Let me have this one victory. Please, Jon. Put me on the counter, and go."

  I picked him up. After our time on Aggro, he weighed nothing, his body little more than skin over bones. I set him gently on the counter.

  He smiled. "This one time, we win." He focused on the controls in front of him. "Get out of here."

  Benny was right. He usually was. If we both stayed, we both died. If we both stayed, I ripped from him the one last good thing he could do.

  I entered the escape pod.

  He shut its door before I could.

  I stared into the room through the small viewport in the pod's door. The nanocloud had grown so big it covered the entire wall next to the door. Lights flickered.

  Benny's voice came over the pod's speaker. "The station's systems are dying, Jon. Time to go."

  I dove into the couch. Its arms extended and held me in place a few seconds before a cover slid over the viewport and the pod shot into space.

  "At least I saved one of you, Jon," Benny said. "At least—"

  The speaker cut off, and I was alone.

  Chapter 70

  At the Tumani jump gate station

  Lobo restored the front display. The second transport, its nose only meters from the aperture, slid forward
, its progress slow but inevitable. One instant, it was still here; the next, part of it was here, part elsewhere, like a moment you wish could live forever, perfect but becoming a memory no matter how hard you tried to hold onto it. With each second that passed, more of the ship left Tumani and carried Bony and the other boys to a new world, to new homes, new lives, a chance to stop fighting and for a while become children once more.

  I'd never had that chance. Neither had Benny, or Alex, or Bob, or Han, all now gone, all dead from failed attempts to secure their own better futures. Benny had given up his life so that I could have mine. From the day he died, I've known I would never be able to repay him.

  Maybe, though, by helping these boys I was passing on the smallest bit of that sacrifice, paying forward a tiny portion of the debt I would forever owe him. By saving me, he had also helped save these children, saved more of us than he'd ever imagined.

  "We did it, Benny," I whispered. "We did it."

  THE END

  Afterword

  My first goal in any book is to tell a good story. In the course of doing so, themes naturally arise. Sometimes, those themes are clear only in hindsight, when the work is complete.

  Other times, as in Children No More, they appear the moment the story idea pops into my brain.

  The use of children as soldiers is one of those topics that few people like to discuss. Depending on what you read and watch, you can go a very long time without bumping into it. Do a Web search on the subject, however, and you'll find that children are fighting and dying every day. Hard numbers are, as you might expect, difficult to come by, but groups such as The International Rescue Committee (www.theirc.org) estimate about 300,000 boys and girls are involved today in this horrific practice.

  I find this deeply disturbing. I think everyone should.

  I understand that in the catalog of the world's woes, a cause with only a few hundred thousand sufferers may seem like a small thing. Numerically, it certainly falls way below hunger, disease, poverty, and many other vital issues our world must address. But these are children, children that adults are turning into soldiers, and that is simply wrong.