Who's Sorry Now (2008)

by Lightfoot, Freda

  Gina’s mind was in turmoil and when still she said nothing, those same dark eyes became clouded with anxiety. ‘Gina, please say you’ll forgive me.’

  She swallowed, except that her throat seemed blocked by emotion. She thought of all the times in her life when she’d needed to dig deep into herself to find the strength to go on, to harden her heart against the pain. She did that now. ‘I’m not sure I can believe in your so-called innocence. It’s your word against my sister’s. Who am I supposed to believe?’

  ‘But you admit that Carmina tells lies.’

  ‘Sometimes, yes.’

  ‘Well then?’

  Could all this talk of a baby have been another deliberate lie? Surely not. Even Carmina wouldn’t go that far, for how could she possibly have got away with it? Even if Momma and Doc Mitchell hadn’t found her out, it would soon have become obvious that there was no baby, that there never had been. More likely she’d been so anxious to catch Luc, she’d imagined herself pregnant, when really she was only a little overdue, perhaps worrying herself into a stew. Clearly not pregnant at all. A silly mistake. But that didn’t prove she hadn’t had cause for concern.

  Gina said, ‘I don’t believe Carmina would make up a tale over something so serious, so important. I think this time you are the guilty one, making excuses for your bad behaviour.’

  A spasm of pain flickered across his face and, despite herself, Gina’s heart went out to him. Perhaps it wasn’t entirely Luc’s fault. Where was her compassion? Momma said men were weak, and how could anyone resist her scheming, beautiful sister when Carmina had set her heart on something she wanted? She should perhaps feel just a little sorry for him.

  ‘I think I understand why it happened. Carmina is hard to resist. Maybe - just possibly, and I’m not making any promises - but I might be prepared to be friends again. No more than that for the present. No kissing, no cuddling, nothing of that sort. We take things slowly and see how things go.’

  His expression was instantly transfused with joy and Luc captured her hands again and brought them to his lips to kiss them. ‘I’ll spend my entire life making it up to you, Gina, I swear.’

  The entire Bertalone family were delighted with this good news. As the young couple emerged from the front parlour, Luc’s arm wrapped about a shyly smiling Gina, everyone cheered. Carlotta clapped her hands with joy.

  ‘All is going to be well. Oh, what a relief! I am a happy Momma again. Carmina is not in trouble and has promised to be a good girl in future. And Gina is happy and content with Luc.’ She rushed over to kiss them both in her fervent Italian way.

  Papa shook Luc by the hand, then slapping a firm hand on his shoulder led him away from the knot of excited children. ‘You will behave with more respect with my daughters in future, young man?’

  ‘Si, Mr Bertalone, I will, I swear. You have my word on it.’

  ‘I won’t have Gina hurt. She is very special to us, all our children are. They are mio famiglia. I have the amore paterno, a father’s love for them all. But Gina is extra-special because of the problems she has had to surmount.’

  Luc was nodding. ‘Like I told you before, Mr Bertalone, she is special to me too. She is so kind, so gentle and sweet, so sensitive and generous. I feel fortunate that she is prepared to try and repair our friendship. She has even agreed, with your permission, to come to the dance with me tonight. I will take good care of her, I promise, and have her home in good time.’

  ‘Dancing is hard for her. You make-a sure she don’t-a get too tired.’

  Papa Bertalone nipped the bridge of his nose while he tried to work out how best to say what he needed to say. ‘And you will take better care over this problem with Carmina? She has always been a leetle wild. That girl she act first, think later. I’m sure there is no real harm in her but she is bellissimo, and like all beautiful women a little vano, si? So vain she expect the world to be dropped at her feet. Do not let her steal your world, the one you share with Gina. You behave. Understand me?’

  ‘I understand, Mr Bertalone. I will take better care.’ What else could he say, if they all chose to take Carmina’s word and not his?

  Gina was trying to hear what it was that Luc was saying to her father, but she was too far away, the sound of their voices drowned by her chattering siblings.

  And then for some reason everyone stopped speaking and Luc’s voice seemed to ring out clear and strong in the small living room. ‘Gina has given me another chance and I’ve no intention of ruining it. Nothing and nobody will make me spoil things between us ever again. I have learned my lesson.’

  He glanced across at Carmina as he said this. She was sitting white-faced with fury in the corner, not joining in the general hub-bub.

  She couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. How dare Luc deliberately drop her and go back to her sanctimonious sister? Carmina felt again that spine-tingling hatred for her sibling who had managed to rob her of everything she’d ever wanted in life: her parents approbation, the full and undivided attention she deserved, and now the man she loved. She’d watched in disgust as her brothers and sisters crowded around to wish the reunited pair well. How could they all be so damned happy!

  They should have been congratulating herself and Luc on their coming nuptials, not Gina. Instead, all her efforts, all her plans and schemes, had come to nothing. Her feelings, even her place in this family were given no consideration at all. Now Papa was opening a bottle of wine, declaring they had much to celebrate as family honour had been restored.

  ‘Come, Carmina,’ he called to her. ‘Come and be happy with us.’

  When still she didn’t move from her chair to join in the celebrations, Carlotta marched over and gave her daughter a nudge.

  ‘Stop sulking. Come and tell your sister how sorry you are, and that you won’t do anything to spoil her chances ever again. Tell her!’

  ‘It’s all right,’ Gina said. ‘I’m not asking for an apology.’

  ‘Just as well, since you won’t get one,’ Carmina bit back.

  Carlotta patted her own plump cheeks in despair. ‘What am I to do with her? Papa, make your daughter say that she will be the good girl and behave. I want no more lies.’

  Papa Bertalone attempted to look stern, not easy with Lela cuddling up on his lap begging for a sip from his glass, and Marta and Gabby playing marbles at his feet. He’d had a hard day in the ice-cream parlour and was really far too weary to deal with any more female angst and emotion. All he wanted was his supper, a little snooze, and some peace in his life.

  ‘I have spoken to Luc, my love, man to man. You have spoken to Carmina. Enough has been said, Momma. Let this be an end to the matter. Gina and Luc will either make a go of it, or they won’t. It is up to them now.

  Only the expression in her sister’s hard glare warned Gina that the matter was very far from closed, certainly so far as Carmina was concerned.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Carmina went to the Friday night dance too, despite having no partner, her friends complaining that they’d never known her to be in such a foul mood. They kept well out of her way while Carmina made a complete exhibition of herself dancing and necking with boys who were perfect strangers to her, and in full view of everyone. She seemed more reckless than ever, as if she had something to prove.

  How could Luc treat her so callously? One minute prepared to do the decent thing and stand by her, the next giving her the cold shoulder and making up with her dratted sister. To add insult to injury Carmina caught a glimpse of him across the dance floor with Gina in his arms.

  She felt as if she were burning up inside, wanted to walk over and push the stupid girl away. What right had she to steal the man Carmina had planned to marry herself? Selfish little bitch!

  The lovebirds were doing a slow waltz to Blueberry Hill, so Gina’s limp didn’t show too much. Luc was holding her close but, come to think of it, they didn’t give the impression of being lovebirds at all. They weren’t exactly dancing cheek to cheek. G
ina wasn’t even looking at him. She had her hands resting loosely on his shoulders, holding him away from her at a safe distance, while she gazed about at the other dancers. She was clearly not at all happy to be there. And Carmina could tell by her manner that she still hadn’t forgiven him.

  When the dance ended they left the floor, but Carmina noticed that they didn’t hold hands. Luc tried to take her hand but Gina quickly pulled it away. Oh dear, he was definitely still in the dog-house.

  Carmina smiled to herself. How long would a boy like Luc put up with such treatment? Not long, surely. And she’d be ready and waiting when he grew bored.

  ‘Are you enjoying yourself?’ Luc asked and Gina gave him a little nod of agreement.

  ‘Would you like a lemonade or something?’

  ‘No thanks, I’m fine.’

  Luc took a breath. He hadn’t expected it to be easy but trying to get a smile out of her, let alone any sort of conversation, was proving impossible.

  ‘Carmina’s over there, why don’t you go and dance with her,’ Gina said.

  Once upon a time she would have been thrilled to be at a dance with Luc, now she felt awkward with him, and conspicuous on the dance floor with her limp, as if people were looking at her and wondering why she danced in that funny way. ‘She keeps glancing across. I think she must be feeling a bit low now that you’ve called the wedding off.’

  ‘Don’t tell me that you’re feeling sorry for Carmina now?’

  Gina still didn’t look at him. ‘I’m saying that you’re free to ask her to dance, if you wish. You don’t have to stay here with me.’

  With an exasperated sigh, Luc took Gina firmly by the shoulders and turned her to face him. ‘Look, if you keep talking about Carmina like this, it isn’t going to help us to forget what happened, is it? You have to stop being so concerned about her, and stop believing every bit of rubbish she says.’

  ‘She’s my sister.’

  I know she’s your sister but can’t you see what she tried to do to us? It wasn’t a mistake, all this talk about a baby, it was another of her lies. She wouldn’t recognise the truth if it jumped up and bit her.’[

  Gina scowled, hating herself for behaving this way but quite unable to help it. They were huddled in a corner of the dance floor, speaking to each other in furious whispers above the noise of the music. Elvis Presley was belting out All Shook Up, and people were glancing across at them in curiosity. The room was hot and crowded and Gina felt harassed and uncomfortable, wishing she’d never come and was safe at home in her bedroom. What had possessed her to imagine she could go through with this, and pick up where they’d left off? Hadn’t Luc destroyed everything they’d had together by sleeping with her sister?

  ‘She says you were rampant for her, wouldn’t leave her alone. Maybe Carmina too was fooled into thinking you cared for her, just as I believed you loved me. Wrongly as it turns out.’

  ‘I do love you.’

  ‘But not enough.’

  ‘Oh, Gina, let’s stop this arguing, let’s just try to be friends.’ He touched the swathe of hair that fell forward over her face, and tucked it behind her ear. ‘One day, I hope you will believe me, but I accept that maybe it’s too soon right now.’

  An awkward silence fell between them, one in which Gina realised the band was playing Bye, Bye Love, an Everly Brothers hit. It seemed so appropriate that for a moment she feared she might start to cry. It entirely echoed the terrible despair she felt.

  Perhaps Luc realised this for he gently took her arm. ‘Come on, love, those words aren’t meant for us. Let me show you how to do the hand jive, which we can do sitting down. It’ll cheer you up. No more quarrelling, we’re here to have fun, remember?’

  And to Gina’s great surprise, even though she was upset over the heated words they’d exchanged, felt vulnerable and nervous because in some mysterious way Luc seemed almost like a stranger to her now, she did indeed start to relax a little and have fun. She even had a go at the cha-cha and found she could do it rather well. Luc said she’d be an expert dancer in no time.

  Not that she believed him when he said that either, not with her lolloping gait. He was just being kind, and she’d really no wish to be an expert in anything. Gina simply wanted him to love her, as she’d once fondly imagined that he did. He swore that his feelings hadn’t changed, but how could she believe anything he said after all that had happened? There’d been so many lies told, Gina no longer knew who she could trust.

  Bored, and temporarily short of partners, having refused several candidates because they were too tall, too short, had spots, a big nose or simply weren’t Luc Fabriani, Carmina had been sitting in a corner sulking for some time when she suddenly noticed that the band had gone off for a break and Alec Hall was setting up his record player in their place.

  An image of their encounter on the supposed site of the old Roman Fort flashed instantly into her mind. She no longer thought of it as rape, only too aware of her own part in the incident. Things had simply got out of hand, and, okay, so he’d taken advantage of her, in a way. He’d rushed things instead of making sure she was entirely willing. Yet there was something appealing about the man. His casual assurance that he could do with her as he pleased excited her. Carmina had discovered that she rather liked a man who knew how to take control.

  She liked his smoky grey eyes that seemed to devour her, even the derisory smirk when she said something that amused him.

  A burn that could only be desire started up deep inside her at the memory of his passion, his intense hunger for her. That’s all it had been; not wickedness, not a violation, simply an unstoppable, unquenchable need to possess her.

  Carmina rather liked that too. So thrilling! So dangerous!

  She fluffed out her hair, smoothed her circular skirt over her bouffant petticoats and strolled over to say hello.

  Alec Hall looked oddly out of place in his black velvet jacket and pink dickie-bow tie with a carnation in his buttonhole, but she smiled at the way the light came into his eyes as he saw her approaching. Carmina had forgotten that she’d once thought him an old fashioned fuddy-duddy. He was simply a man who liked women; a man who fancied her like mad.

  Rumour had it that he’d been married twice; his first wife dying when a V2 bomb dropped on his house, the second someone he met when he was out in Vietnam who’d either tragically died or deserted him. A bit of a ladies man, our Alec.

  ‘I wondered when you’d come over,’ he said, as soon as she reached him. ‘I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist.’

  Carmina couldn’t help laughing. ‘Don’t flatter yourself.’

  ‘I wouldn’t dream of it. I’m flattering you. You’re the most beautiful girl in the room.’

  His words were balm to her bruised pride, exactly what she needed right now: a man who appreciated her charms.

  ‘Cigarette?’ He was offering her a Capstan full strength. Carmina didn’t smoke but she thought, what the hell, and took one. It made her cough and it was his turn now to laugh.

  ‘I think you need a bit more practise.’

  ‘Maybe I do, but then I am only seventeen, so I’m needing practise in all sorts of things. Maybe I just need a good teacher.’

  He looked at her steadily, one eyebrow raised as he slid another record on to the turn-table, then gave that little smirk. ‘Maybe I should apply for the job.’

  ‘Maybe you’d get it.’

  ‘That’s a lot of maybes.’

  Carmina shrugged. ‘Well, it’s up to you, isn’t it?’

  ‘Is it?’

  ‘I’m a bit disappointed in you though.’

  She was delighted to see that his face fell. ‘Why, what have I done? Look, if it’s about what happened the other week, I can only say I read the signals wrong. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.’

  ‘It certainly won’t.’

  ‘Next time I’ll be the perfect gentleman.’

  Carmina stared at him. ‘Next time? Now you are flattering yourself. All I mea
nt was that you once said you’d come and ask me to dance when the band came back, but you never did. You forgot all about me.’

  ‘How could anyone forget you, Carmina? Once seen, never forgotten.’

  She moved closer, so that she could look directly into that steady, penetrating grey gaze of his. ‘Why don’t you ask me tonight then? If you did ask me - to dance, I mean - I might be more amenable this time.’

  Both of them were breathing quite deeply as they each considered the underlying meaning beneath this ouwardly casual remark. After a moment Alec gave her a slow smile. ‘Okay, how about the first one after the band comes back?’

  Carmina shook her head as she half turned to walk away, except that she was really only doing a little pirouette to let him appreciate the full picture of her shapely figure. ‘It might be a rock ‘n’ roll. Do you jive, or rock?’

  He shook his head. ‘Maybe I need a teacher too. We could have the last waltz then, how about that?‘

  A slight pause while Carmina considered, and then, ‘OK, the last waltz it is. Don’t forget this time. I’ll be waiting.’

  ‘I won’t forget.’

  To her great satisfaction, Carmina noticed that Luc hadn’t missed this little flirtatious exchange, and she cast him a glance of pure triumph as she sauntered back to her friends.

  If Luc Fabriani imagined he could simply walk away and abandon her then he was badly mistaken. Once he realised what he was missing, he’d be begging her to take him back. Let him see how other boys, and even grown men of experience, couldn’t get enough of her.

  If her over-protective mother hadn’t taken her to the doctor, the lie would never have been discovered until after they were married, which would have been far too late for Luc to do anything about it. She really had been very unlucky.

  But it was only a set-back, Carmina told herself as she went to see if her friends had remembered to get her a plate of supper. She was beginning to think more clearly now. All she had to do was prove the lie to be the truth. She even had an idea how to banish her stupid sister from the picture once and for all.