Wilde About the Girl

by Louise Pentland

  Contents

  Title Page

  Praise for Wild About the Girl

  Praise for Wild like Me

  About the Author

  Dedication

  Part One: Fake It Till You Make It …

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  Six

  Seven

  Eight

  Nine

  Part Two: The Perils of Pink Champagne

  Ten

  Eleven

  Twelve

  Thirteen

  Fourteen

  Fifteen

  Sixteen

  Part Three: The Best-Laid Plans …

  Seventeen

  Eighteen

  Nineteen

  Twenty

  Twenty-One

  Twenty-Two

  Twenty-Three

  Twenty-Four

  Twenty-Five

  Twenty-Six

  Part Four: Strike a Pose!

  Twenty-Seven

  Twenty-Eight

  Twenty-Nine

  Thirty

  Thirty-One

  Part Five: Wilde by Name, Wild by Nature

  Thirty-Two

  Thirty-Three

  Thirty-Four

  Thirty-Five

  Thirty-Six

  Thirty-Seven

  Thirty-Eight

  Part Six: Here Come the Girls!

  Thirty-Nine

  Forty

  Forty-One

  Acknowledgements

  Author Letter

  Join My Readers’ Club

  Keep Reading …

  Copyright

  Praise for

  ‘Utterly self-assured, so, so, so honest and downright brave. Wilde About the Girl is funny, sweet, honest and full of love. Every page is packed with hard-earned wisdom, joy and truth, I loved – truly loved – it. Louise’s characters are so real, I felt as though I was sat at the kitchen table, enjoying a mug of (spiked) hot chocolate with Robin, Lacey and Auntie Kath, laughing and crying along with them’

  LINDSEY KELK

  ‘A gorgeous read. Beautifully poignant and touching. I loved it!’

  PAIGE TOON

  Praise for

  ‘A warm and engaging debut … [Robin Wilde is a] chatty, winning, yet poignant, heroine’

  SOPHIE KINSELLA

  ‘I’m smitten with this sweet and special story about love, life and motherhood. Reading Wilde Like Me feels just like sitting down for a (boozy) hot chocolate with your best friend and I love Robin Wilde’

  LINDSEY KELK

  ‘I’d love Robin Wilde to be my new best friend. In fact, I feel like she’s become it through these pages. Wonderfully written and full of humour that had me laughing along from start to finish. As a mum, as a woman, you can find yourself wondering whether it’s only you that feels a certain way or does questionable things, but this book stilled my pondering mind. Funny, heartfelt, tender and empowering! I can’t believe this is Louise’s first book. I’m thoroughly excited to read more!’

  GIOVANNA FLETCHER

  ‘Wilde Like Me is hilarious, moving and extremely well written. I can highly recommend Louise’s book’

  SUNDAY TIMES STYLE

  ‘I adore this book. Louise Pentland writes with so much warmth, heart and honesty – Wilde Like Me is a gorgeous, witty, reassuring comfort read. I fell in love with Robin and her family before the end of the first page. If you’re having a bad day, I think this book would instantly make it better. Pentland’s exploration of mental health issues is refreshingly honest. If you’ve ever felt like the only person in the world who isn’t perfect … this is what you need to read. A fabulous mix of escapism and relatability, this is a hug of a book’

  DAISY BUCHANAN

  ‘This book is a winner’

  OK MAGAZINE

  ‘If it’s great big belly laughs you’re after,

  then meet Robin Wilde’

  FABULOUS MAGAZINE

  ‘Wilde Like Me is a fun, light-hearted read’

  SNAZZY BOOKS

  ‘Everyone needs a bit of Robin Wilde in them’

  THE BOOKBAG

  ‘This is a fantastic read full of wit and warmth … when I finished I felt empowered’

  CHARLENE JESS

  ‘There’s a lot of girl power in this novel, and although there’s romance too, the love between mother and daughter and the love for oneself come out on top. Full of humour, warmth and conviction, this is a sparkling debut’

  CHICK LIT CLUB

  ‘The story [is] simply perfect’

  KATIE SNYDER

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  LOUISE PENTLAND’s debut novel Wilde Like Me was an instant Sunday Times number one smash hit in the summer of 2017. She is the award-winning and number one YouTube ‘mummy blogger’, a fashion designer, an author and a UN Global Ambassador for Gender Equality.

  Wilde About The Girl is her second novel.

  @LouisePentland

  @LouisePentland

  SprinkleofGlitter

  www.LouisePentlandNovel.com

  #WildeAboutTheGirl

  #WildeLikeMe

  For Eli, who is smart, witty, kind and creative,

  just like Robin

  ONE

  MARCH

  ‘I’M TOTALLY ACING LIFE,’ I think with a smile as I slam my car door shut with one hand and pick my Starbucks order off the roof of the car with the other, all while balancing a hefty stack of paperwork and some samples in one arm and hanging my old slouchy brown handbag (soft leather with a brand-new YSL lipstick inside and space for a bento box, thank you very much) over my shoulder. What is this amazing skill you develop once you have children? One minute you’re drinking cheap snakebites out of plastic cups with your student friends, and the next, you’re a sober working mother to one small human and you can competently carry 846 items with just your left arm. I tell you, there’s always something new to discover.

  After crossing the road without dropping a thing and pushing open the door of MADE IT, I feel a rush of warm air hit me and silently wish the girls didn’t always blast the heating so high. It’s not a hot yoga class, it’s an office, for goodness’ sake. My office, to be exact. Well, it is while Natalie isn’t here.

  MADE IT was and is the brainchild of Natalie Wood, the most together, savvy, inspirational businesswoman I know, and my friend now too, I guess. Natalie set up her make-up artistry and modelling agency here in Cambridge just before her first son was born. Now he’s at university, she’s taking some well-earned time out and travelling the world with her wonderfully supportive husband Martin, while her two other perfect sons are excelling in their school programmes. And here I am – once her assistant but now second-in-command – running the place while she’s away.

  It took a lot to get here, and I want so much to do well at this. Last year was one of the worst and best of my life. But after tackling some major drama in New York City (seriously, don’t ask) where I showed Natalie that I could step up to the plate, she asked me to take over while she took her first proper break in years. At first, I was apprehensive but if life – and Natalie – have taught me anything lately, it’s that you have to put your best foot forward and believe in yourself. This year, that’s how it’s going to be. And, while I’m at it, I’m going to show my little girl that’s the way to do it too.

  I’ve been holding the fort since January, and Natalie will be back at the start of April. If anyone asks, I’m loving every second, everything’s under control and I don’t lie in bed at night ticking off a mental list of things I need to work through the next day. I’m absolutely not sometimes desperate for Natalie to come back, I don’t ever have a five-minute stealth
panic in the toilets and I never have to search the ‘LadyBoss’ tag on Instagram for motivation before meetings (even though I detest the term – we don’t ever say ‘GentBoss’, do we? It’s not that incredible that a lady can be a boss, is it? But I digress). OK, so maybe I do freak out about it all from time to time, but if I think back to where my life was twelve months ago, I’m bloody glad to be here and wouldn’t change it for the world. Unless by ‘world’ you mean a billion pounds, calorie-free carbs and a child who listens to me when I ask her to get dressed for school.

  So here I am – Robin Wilde, Badass Boss Single Mum Extraordinaire – acing it. Well, maybe I’m hiding in my office with my caramel mocha, hoping to limit any interactions with Skye Bristly, the office darling, who intimidates the shit out of me, while also appearing cool and boss-like enough to earn the adoration of the other girls who pop in to file their reports and portfolios and pick up new briefs.

  All I really want to do is keep my head down, work out the budgets, chair the creative meeting, handle the booking rotas and plan next month’s shoots without being embroiled in conversations about reality shows or the latest vegan yoghurt. I can’t keep up with all these things. I’m more of a Netflix-and-chill sort of a woman. As in, watch actual Netflix, eat my seven-year-old daughter’s leftover fish fingers and slump on the sofa in a position where I don’t have to use a single muscle in my body.

  Like I said, I’m totally acing life.

  I sit down at my desk and take a deep breath. Today is definitely the day I blitz all the piles of paper in front of me. The expenses to sign off, budgets to input, ideas to arrange on mood boards, invoices to chase, rotas to finalise and old jobs to file. I might even tackle the stacks of paperwork I have in ‘organised piles’ on the windowsill behind me, too.

  I love having my own office. There’s something very satisfying about having your own walls and your own desk and your own drawers to fill. I wouldn’t say it’s exactly ‘Manhattan corner office’ glamorous but there’s a window on to the street below, my own radiator to warm my bum on in winter and two huge noticeboards to fill with inspiration and, of course, pictures of my daughter Lyla. I’ve got almost a whole gallery wall of her (her as a baby lying on a crocheted blanket from Auntie Kath, us at a local petting farm feeding a goat, her, aged five, sitting on my best friend Lacey’s knee, her paddling in the sea during a rare visit down to Cornwall to see Mum and Dad). Add to that a couple of (fake) succulents and a secret drawer of Curly Wurlys, and you have all the essentials for a busy day at the office. Also, since nobody can see my laptop screen, I can fill one hundred per cent of my time with Very Important Work and never, ever get distracted by pointless videos on Facebook, like that one where the swans are reunited after the lady swan had surgery. Or the one where the panda in the Chinese zoo keeps climbing out of the basket. Or the one … it doesn’t matter, I don’t watch them. I very, very rarely watch them anyway. I’m a professional.

  The door opens and I look up. Skye is standing in the doorway flicking her extensions over her shoulder. ‘Oh, you’re in,’ she says in surprise, as if I’m never in the office. The office that I run now. I’m going to show her who’s boss. I’m going to be so badass.

  ‘Yep, here I am. Just grabbed a mocha on my way,’ I say with an apologetic laugh, lifting my cup off a stack of expense forms. Why do I sound apologetic? I’m supposed to be badass! Natalie wouldn’t do this. Natalie wouldn’t have to do this.

  ‘Didn’t Natalie send a memo round last year saying we should all use BPA-free keep-cups for drinks and steel bento boxes for food?’ she asks condescendingly, eyeing my take-away coffee cup and continuing to loiter by my door. She has a point, I reluctantly admit to myself. I don’t often succumb to the lure of the coffee shop but this morning I had such a hankering. And I do own a couple of bento boxes since all the Posh Mums at school started getting competitively creative and regular lunchboxes of sandwiches and Penguin bars fell out of vogue. The boxes I have are plastic, though … I don’t know if they have BPA in, whatever BPA is.

  ‘Thank you, Skye. I’ll bear that in mind,’ I say with a smile that hopefully says, Back off, lady, I’m armed with a hot sweet drink here or at least I’m sorry, please stop pointing out that I’m wrecking the planet and move on to the next thing. ‘Is there anything I can help you with?’ I finally say out loud.

  ‘Yes, what’s the rota? Neil, my boyfriend, wants to take me away for a long weekend. Natalie was always really prompt with letting everyone know a fortnight in advance, so we could plan our lives. She used the noticeboard in the kitchen especially. Maybe you could get up to speed with that?’

  Of course Neil wants to take her away. I bet Neil’s favourite thing to do is parade his Gisele-like girlfriend on weekends away. A year ago I’d have been jealous, but now I can’t think of anything I’d like to do less than spend time watching Neil scoop out his protein shake powder or cut the sleeves off his T-shirt to make bicep viewing easier for us all. What I want to do at the weekend is hang out with Lyla and take it easy – this being a boss thing is tiring.

  ‘Right, well, I’ve just got here and I’m about to finalise the bookings so as soon as I know, you will too,’ I say, very professionally, taking a sip of my warm coffee nectar and feeling soothed.

  ‘OK, well don’t forget to print it and put it on the noticeboard as well,’ Skye responds bossily, placing a well-manicured hand on a jeans-clad hip with more attitude than I think possible for 9.15 in the morning. Skye’s wearing the most perfectly tailored black jeans I’ve ever seen. I bet even Piper would lust after them. Piper, by the way, is my best friend Lacey’s little sister. We all grew up together and now she lives and works in New York on the art scene. (If you tell me you’ve seen a more stylish, confident, swish young woman, I’ll tell you you’re wrong.)

  I don’t think I’ve ever found a pair of skinny jeans that don’t make my soft bits squish out over the top or cling tightly enough round my ankles, but Skye has. Her ankles are showcased by the dark denim and there’s not a jot of squish anywhere. Maybe that says more about our body shapes than the jeans, though … Along with the jeans of perfection, she’s wearing a snug khaki long-sleeved cotton crop top with a lot of criss-crossing fabric over the bust, a Gucci-style belt (is it real? I wonder) and chunky black heeled sandals. Basically, her idea of casual March workwear is my idea of full glam summer Going-Out wear. She’s tanned all over (I suppose you can’t do my ‘just bits you see’ method if you wear stringy crop tops) and seems to have no trouble standing in her stilt-like shoes. I, on the other hand, am in blue skinny-ish jeans that have a good amount of stretch in them so they’re super comfy, an oversized cream cable knit jumper from ASOS in the sales last year and pale pink Converse. My conker brown hair is up in a high pony and I’ve only gone for a light layer of BB cream because my skin, thankfully, is having a good week. It’s not that I don’t have nice clothes or don’t look OK in my outfits, it’s just that when you’re only just managing to juggle your work and mum life like I am, you don’t prioritise contouring and fake-tanning your stomach! Plus, call me old, but that crop top looks cold! Chunky knitwear and easy flats for me, please. I’m still acing it. I’m just warm, comfy and acing it.

  ‘Yes. I will. Just like I said.’ Oh, she will not have the last bloody word here. I am the boss. Like a gorilla in the jungle, I must assert my power.

  ‘Ok, great.’ More hip, more attitude, no moving away from my door, though. ‘Also, you know those coffee companies don’t pay tax, right? Something to look into next time you want a little “treat”.’

  Urrgghh. I know her game. She wants to knock me off my perch, dammit. She will not win. Not today, missy.

  I employ my best Mum-isn’t-taking-this-shit look, the one I reserve for Lyla when she refuses to get out of the ball pool at soft play and shows I mean business. Eventually, after I almost tear up from not blinking, Skye slinks off, no doubt to make herself some organic black chai in a sustainable keep-cup.

  This
is the thing about being the boss. You think it’s going to be cool to have a higher-level job, but then you find you have to deal with the likes of Skye and her cronies. The rest of the team are sweet, but whispering that stops as soon as I enter a room has not been unknown. They all seem to absolutely adore Skye and treat her like she’s their queen, which doesn’t help the ego she seems to be carting around on her tanned, slender shoulders.

  But, no – think leaderly thoughts, Robin.

  I know why Natalie hired her. She’s a good make-up artist. Really, really good, in fact. She has an amazing creative edge which clients love, is fully trained in special effects, is astounding at general beauty, has enough in common with the models to make them love her (if there’s ever a woman who has mastered the Insta-pose, it’s Skye. How she even gets some of the angles I will never know) and, frustratingly, she works harder and longer than anyone else. Is it any wonder I’m so intimidated by her?

  And suddenly it’s time for our creative meeting. I love this part of my job the most. Anyone who has bookings for the week ahead comes in, we run through the jobs, discuss ideas and talk through any concerns. When I joined MADE IT, I would sit in these meetings in awe of Natalie. She’d listen carefully to each idea and smoothly guide the conversations so that everyone had a say, encouraging those (usually me) who were a bit shy. These meetings feel like the heart of the agency, and show how far we’ve come – once it was all local jobs, little photo shoots and wedding make-up. Now we still do all those things, but MADE IT has grown so much that we’re getting jobs from far and wide. Every meeting there are more bookings, more opportunities – and I so want to show Natalie I can handle it. Once she’s back from her sabbatical she’ll chair them again, but for now I’m head of the table, along with my non-eco-friendly cup that I make a mental note to change.

  There are eight of us this week, but as we list the upcoming jobs and offer each other advice, it’s clear that Skye is dominating the meeting. Try as I might to interject, she has the room hanging off her every word and frankly, she has the best ideas and tips.