Dark Heart

by Eve L Mitchell

  “She’s high?” I asked in disbelief.

  “As a kite.” He took a drink of his water as he watched her too. “Whatever she took hit her quick during the fifteen minute drive from Louisville to the club.”

  She’s fucking high. I couldn’t believe it. I snorted out a disbelieving laugh. Of course she’s high, she takes recreational drugs. My scorn was for myself. I felt like an idiot.

  “I think I might actually kick her stupid scrawny ass,” I muttered to myself. I didn’t expect Shadow to hear me, but he did.

  “Is she worth it?” His question was soft, his eyes searching.

  I shook my head. “I don’t know.” I tilted my head back and took a long pull of beer. I watched Kyle’s arm snake around her hips and pull her back into him. I was on my feet. I was over the railing, jumping down onto the dance floor, pulling Kyle off of her, before I knew I’d even moved. He turned in protest and I knocked him out. Screams erupted around me as I stood in the middle of the dance floor over his fallen body. I stopped myself from delivering a kick to his ribs as he lay unconscious at my feet. Security arrived within minutes and were looking between me and Kyle. I could tell that they didn’t know if they should throw me out or not.

  Lela turned to me. “Aaron!” she exclaimed enthusiastically as she flung herself at me. I caught her as she stumbled. Her arms went around my neck and she tipped her head back. I took hold of her chin as I looked down at her. Her pupils were wide and dilated, her eyes bloodshot and unfocused, her skin clammy. She was out of her skull all right.

  Her sloppy attempt to kiss me sickened me. I pulled away from her and she instantly burst into tears. Bending slightly, I scooped her up and headed to the door. Time to take her home and get her sober.

  Shadow met me at the door and handed me my jacket. Trey handed me Lela’s purse – I didn’t ask where he got it from. Neither said a word. Sighing in resignation, I headed to my truck.

  She cried the whole way back to the house. Actual sobs. I had no idea why she was crying – I didn’t ask. How anyone thought drugs were fun was beyond me. When I parked in the driveway, she turned from tears to hate. She started screaming abuse and refused to get out of the truck. I eventually had to climb in and physically manhandle her out, whilst trying to keep her screams covered and avoid her flailing limbs. She still got in a few good hits which didn’t do anything for my own temper.

  By the time we were inside, she was sobbing again. I carried her to her room and into the bathroom, where she promptly threw up. I looked at her as she lay in a heap on the tiled floor. Her jeans were covered in vomit and other fluids. I was covered in vomit. I stripped off my clothing and turned the shower on before undressing Lela. I left her in her bra and panties for now. Picking her up, I washed us both under the hot water. She threw up again in the shower and I washed her again. Just before I finished, I removed her underwear and averted my eyes. This was not how I wanted to see Lela naked. I wrapped her in a towel and then left her on the bottom of the shower floor in case she was sick while I was gone.

  Getting fresh underwear and one of my t-shirts, I dressed her in dry clothes and propped her on the floor of the bathroom. I sat back and waited to see if she would be sick again.

  Several hours later, after restless sleep and spells of dry heaving, she finally settled enough that I could put her to bed. I placed a glass of water beside her bed along with two painkillers. It occurred to me that giving her painkillers probably wasn’t the wisest move, but she was going to hurt. I don’t think I had been too gentle with her, although she hadn’t left me with a lot of choice.

  Whilst she slept it off, I cleaned up the bathroom and tidied things up. Eventually I went to my own room and lay down on top of my bed leaving both doors open. I would hear the slightest movement this time.

  It was after eight at night and I was at my kitchen table drinking coffee and eating a grilled cheese sandwich when she came down the hallway. Shadow had come past with some groceries for me earlier. He’d called to say he was coming by with last night’s money and did I need anything. I’d asked him to bring me anything to make a sandwich with, I really needed to get to the store. Also, I knew he was fishing, so I let him come to see how she was even though I had told him she would most likely still be sleeping. We had briefly discussed the night before – he had skirted around the issue for a few minutes.

  Shadow offered me five thousand dollars to put her in a hotel. The same amount of money Skinner was paying to keep her. He had been deadly serious. I hadn’t taken it, it wasn’t about the money, I knew why he was offering it. I was too caught up in her. I was distracted, I was making mistakes. The conversation with him ran through my head as I watched her approach the table.

  She had slept all day – I had gotten a couple hours of sleep. She looked fucking terrible. Her skin was waxy and her eyes were dull, but what I noticed the most was the fact that she looked utterly miserable. I took some small perverse comfort from this.

  “Hi.” Her voice was meek.

  “Lela.” I took another bite of my sandwich.

  “You mad at me?” she asked me as she pulled out a chair and sat down.

  I shook my head slightly. “I’m mad at myself more,” I admitted. “I knew you were a druggie and I forgot.” I took another bite.

  “I’m not a druggie!” Her voice rose in indignation.

  “Last night you were in a club with a fucking stranger rubbing his dick against you like you were a bitch in heat. He could have fucked you on the dance floor and I don’t think you would have noticed,” I bit out. She flinched. “Then when I saw you, you threw yourself at me and tried to make out with me, I’m not entirely sure you knew who I was.” Lela looked away as she flushed. “When I pushed you away, as I checked you to see how drugged up you were, you burst into tears. Then you cried, no – sobbed – the whole way here.” I shook my head. “Then you turned into a screaming fucking banshee in the truck. I had to physically avoid fighting you in order to be able to carry you out of it, while you continued to scream abuse at me, before getting into the house, where you immediately started sobbing again.”

  “Ok I get it! I was a handful,” Lela snapped, running her hand through her hair. Anger was her defence, I knew that; well too bad – she was playing against a master at offence.

  “Then I carried you to your bathroom, where you threw up all over yourself and me. Three times.” Her eyes filled with tears and I watched them spill over. “I washed you, I cleaned you, even after you pissed yourself.” I watched her choke back a sob. I leaned back in my seat and took a drink of my coffee, my relaxed calm manner making it so much harder for her to hear. “So, yeah, I’m fucking mad and yeah – Lela – you’re a druggie.”

  “Aaron…” Her voice was low and miserable.

  “Your father offered to pay me to keep you – five times what Skinner is paying. He thinks I am a good influence.” I snorted. “Obviously I’m not. You need to go Lela.”

  “Did you take his money?” Lela asked me as she wiped her tears.

  “No, I told him to stop calling me and hung up on him.” I drank my coffee.

  “Thank you.”

  “For what? I’ve done nothing for you except keep you from your recreational drugs for what…five days?” I tilted my head as I studied her. “I packed your bags. There’s a thousand dollars in your purse. It’s your allowance that Skinner gave me for you. You wanted it, you have it.” She was looking at me in confusion. “I told you at the beginning, I don’t like drugs.”

  “You’re kicking me out?” Her eyes snapped to mine incredulously.

  “Yes.”

  “But last night…” Her face flushed as she remembered our stolen moment at the Warehouse.

  “What? A finger fuck and a blow job?” I shrugged. “I’m going out soon, I would like you to be gone before then.” I took another drink of my coffee.

  Lela stood and looked at me. “I can’t believe you think it’s only that,” she whispered. “It’s so much mo
re.” Her hands grabbed the table for support. “We’re more than…what you said.”

  I met her stare with a steady look. “Lela, I have plans, can you move this along?” I stood and took my cup to the sink.

  “You fucking bastard.” Her whispered indignation struck deep within me and pissed me off.

  “That’s right Lela, keep telling yourself this is all on me.” I walked past her to my room, closing the door firmly behind me.

  As she moved about her room getting ready to leave, I put the finishing touches to my own bags. Mom and Alicia had texted to say they had made it to the motel ok last night. I had been so caught up in Lela that I had forgotten, forgotten, to check the safety of my family. My uncle had joined them on the road this morning. They were together and heading to their new home.

  Once Lela was gone, I would be leaving tonight to start my journey to be there for them on Tuesday. She knocked on the door and I put my bag on the other side of my bed so she couldn’t see it.

  I opened the door. “What?”

  “I’ve called a cab, it should be here soon.” She was dressed in jeans, that stupid poncho, the same hat from the first night at the airport and her sunglasses.

  “Ok.” I came out my room and walked to the door. Her luggage was where I’d left it. I turned and looked at her.

  “I’m really sorry.” Her voice was a whisper. I saw the tears running down her face from under the sunglasses.

  “You probably are.” I turned back to the window and saw the cab approaching. “That’s you.” I turned back to her and she wiped her face as she nodded. I placed her luggage outside and the cab driver got out of the car to get it.

  As she walked past me, I caught her wrist. “Take care of yourself Lela.” I didn’t look at her. I didn’t trust myself in that moment. The very realisation of that thought pissed me off.

  “You too.” She hesitated and her fingers grazed mine. I removed my hand from her wrist and myself from her reach.

  I closed the door behind her and turned the lock. I bowed my head as I walked back into my kitchen. I flicked the coffee pot on. I needed a travel mug. I had a long drive ahead of me.

  Me: She’s gone.

  Shadow: Are you ok?

  I put my phone down and looked at it? Was I? I rolled my head back and forth on my shoulders and moved my arms to try and loosen up.

  No, I wasn’t – but I would be. She’d gotten deep into my head in a few days and I needed to get her out of it quick. I headed to my room to get my bag – I was going to see my family. The drive was going to take me just over eleven hours. I didn’t want to chance a plane; even someone following me to an airport could see what gate I boarded and where it was going. I knew I was being totally paranoid but thought it better safe than sorry. I would not put my family at risk again. There was to be no contact with Shadow. I didn’t want to risk anyone knowing where they were – my family were everything to me.

  I would stop over in Logan County tonight. A cheap motel and a bed were all I needed. I had my playlist planned for the drive and I fully intended to have a clear head.

  As I set off on my journey, I left the last week – and Lela – behind me as I drove north out of Boulder.

  I was sitting outside the new house at ten on Tuesday morning. I’d had an excellent drive here, I had driven four hours on Sunday night, stopping in Logan County. On Monday I had carried on north through Nebraska, into South Dakota. I had arrived in Watertown last night. The drive had been easy after all, the highways clear, or mostly clear. I had checked in with my mom. Their journey was going well, they were making the last few hours this morning.

  I’d even remembered that Watertown had a one-hour time difference from Boulder. I had signed the papers earlier this morning; the realtor had been happy to meet me and hand over the keys. I had taken a quick look over the house, just to ensure it would suit them. It wasn’t fully wheelchair adaptable, but it was better than I could have hoped for on such short notice. Satisfied, I waited outside for them in the truck.

  I heard the crappy Chevy before I saw it. How could he be a mechanic and still drive that piece of shit truck, I wondered as I hopped out of the Raptor. The door to the Chevy flew open before the truck stopped and Alicia was flying towards me. Her long brown hair streamed behind her as she leaped into my arms screaming as I laughed and hugged her close. With my little sister wrapped around me like an octopus it was hard to see my mom who sat in the back of the truck. My uncle half waved in greeting as he walked around to open the door and get her chair out.

  “Squirt, get off me so I can see mom,” I chided Alicia softly. Her head was buried into my shoulder and she shook her head as she tightened her arms around my neck, like she used to when she was younger, and the monsters scared her dreams.

  “No, I want to hold on for a few more minutes,” Alicia muttered stubbornly. I squeezed her tighter.

  “I’ll squeeze you every minute I’m here, but not now. Let me see my mom.” Then as every big brother has the right to do, I pulled her hair. Her squeal was indignant as her head snapped back and she glared at me. She immediately licked the side of my face and I retaliated by dropping her. Both of us were laughing and I am sure the neighbours were delighted at the noisy newcomers.

  I heard Paul telling my mom much the same as he straightened out her chair. He reached into the truck to lift her out. I nudged him to the side and her smile was huge. She reached out a hand and stroked the side of my face. She looked so healthy – her blonde hair was cut in a short bob. I had her same light blue eyes and the same high cheekbones.

  “My boy,” mom greeted me warmly as I quickly kissed the side of her palm and then I reached in and swung her out. I kept a hold of her as I told Alicia to grab the chair and whatever mom needed as I headed to the house. My sister relayed the exact same instructions to Paul and then she was racing after me up the path. I looked back at him to make sure he wasn’t pissed off, but he waved me on, chuckling.

  “Aaron, you don’t need to carry me. I have a wheelchair.”

  “Yeah, but then I can’t squeeze you properly.” When we were inside, away from prying eyes, I dropped her legs, swung her in front of me and wrapped my arms around her. Her legs hung uselessly, but her arms were strong as she wrapped them around my shoulders as she held me tight.

  “Me too,” the small voice whispered beside us.

  Mom and I both chuckled as I lifted my arm for my sister to wiggle her way in and I relished the family hug. I felt my mom’s tears on my shirt. I heard a sniffle from Alicia. “If you’re both going to cry on me, I demand alcohol,” I said gruffly. Yeah, I wasn’t immune to a lump in my throat either.

  “Is it safe to come in?” Paul asked quietly from outside. Alicia wiggled out again and, with a laugh pulled our uncle into the house. He wheeled the chair in and mom sighed softly.

  “Wanna piggyback around the house?” I asked her. Mom laughed at me as she shook her head. “Come on, you hold on to my shoulders, I’ve got you.” I effortlessly swung her over my shoulder and laughed as she screeched and my uncle cursed in panic. Alicia was delighted though and was quick to help adjust mom’s legs for me to grab until we had her in a position where she could see and feel secure.

  We walked through the one-story house; they seemed happy with their accommodation. The house was a simple long rectangle split into seven rooms. The shape was one of the reasons I had picked it, that and the fact it was suited for a wheelchair user. It would be easy for mom to manoeuvre her chair. Each room was separated, there was no open plan space, but all the doors could easily remain open without restricting the wheelchair. Every room ran off the hall which ran like a main artery through the centre. At one end of the house as you came in was the living room looking over the front yard. Opposite it was the kitchen leading to the back yard and beside the kitchen was the dining room then the family bathroom. Three bedrooms made up the remaining rooms, two looking out over the front of the house one to the rear. There were two and a half
bathrooms, which was more than enough for them. I showed them around. Alicia declared which room was hers, which I instantly vetoed and waited until mom picked her room. Which of course wasn’t the one Alicia wanted. Paul didn’t want her choice either, something about the sun being too bright. Her grin was smug. Brat. I paused momentarily but quickly pushed thoughts of the other brat to the back of my mind.

  Back in the kitchen, mom finally asked for her chair and I lifted her into it. As I went to rise from settling her, she pulled me into her arms and I knelt in front of her as she held me close.

  “Come on Alicia, help me unload the truck,” I heard Paul say, I was pretty sure he pulled my sister from the kitchen.

  Mom kissed my head and I sat back on my heels and looked at her. She rubbed my cheek and I leaned into her palm.

  “You look amazing.” Her eyes ran over me. “Tired…but amazing. So strong Aaron.” Her hand squeezed my biceps. “I don’t like these things on your neck though, my beautiful boy didn’t need that on his neck.”

  “They’re my art.” I smiled as I crossed my legs in front of her.

  “They everywhere?”

  “Yup.” I winked.

  “Always my wild boy.” She laughed softly. Her smile faded as she looked at her hands. “How bad is it still?” Mom glanced up at me and looked down the hall to outside, to make sure Alicia was still there and not close enough to overhear us talking.

  “I sorted it,” I admitted. I squirmed under her sharp gaze. “Ok, I’m sorting it.”

  “He knows?” The fear in her voice made my skin cold.

  “Yes, Jay told a friend, the friend was Tommy’s nephew.” I didn’t mince my words; she deserved to know. I glanced over my shoulder, Alicia was horsing around outside with my uncle, laughing. Free. I smiled as I watched her.

  “How much will it cost?” Mom was nervous as she watched me but trying to hide it.