Outremer I

by D. N. Carter

  La Rochelle, Manor House, Rue de Stella Maris, late summer of 1178

  Paul was walking back towards his home alone carrying several scrolls he had borrowed from Niccolas. Tenno had left that very morning overland heading for Marseilles with enough supplies, travel passage papers and gold as well as Templar guarantee cheques that he could redeem on route. Safer than carrying too much gold. He had enjoyed Tenno’s company enormously despite Tenno’s apparent lack of humour. They had all sat around the dining hall’s table late the previous evening and Paul had listened utterly fascinated by Tenno’s tales of his homeland and many travels. It saddened him to think that he would never again see the tall stranger. Perhaps he would one day design the biggest three masted ship, just as big as the drawings Tenno had drawn for him showing the massive ships his country and China had built, that could take him to Tenno’s home. He laughed to himself at this idea. It had pleased Paul to see his father so talkative and happy these past few weeks in Tenno’s company. Parting had not been easy and Philip had made the farewell in the harbour’s main square as brief as possible. Tenno had simply shaken Paul’s hand briefly then Philip’s, held the grip as he looked at him, bowed his head slightly and simply said “’Til we meet again…in this life or the next” and with that Tenno turned around, and walked away. Philip said nothing to Paul, clearly trying to hide his sadness and he too walked off heading for the Templars’ quarters.

  A cool and gentle breeze blew in from the sea, which was welcoming as Paul neared his home. The sun was bright and the sky a clear blue. He noticed one of the Templars’ couriers sat upon a horse, stationary, immediately opposite the house front door. As Paul opened the door, the rider leaned down stretching out his hand offering Paul a sealed document.

  “For your father, young Paul,” the Templar courier said politely as Paul took the envelope, puzzled.

  “You know my name?” Paul asked as he studied the envelope and wax seal.

  “Aye, that I do. You perhaps do not remember me,” the Templar remarked.

  “No…Sorry I do not.”

  “Never mind…I remember you. From Rochfort…You very publicly stood up to Gerard de Ridefort…Now good day to you. And a pleasure to meet you again.”

  “And you…but what name have you?”

  “Oh me…my name is Brother Terric, and we shall meet again I am sure,” he answered and, without any further word, pulled his reins about, turned his horse and trotted off. Bemused, Paul shook his head and went inside.

  It was several more long hours before Philip returned, Paul waiting impatiently staring at the envelope placed in the middle of the dining hall table. He was tempted to open it as he could feel it had many sheets inside. He did not recognise the seal or where it had come from. Philip entered the dining hall and saw Paul waving the envelope.

  “What is this, a letter?” Philip said as he took it from Paul. Immediately he went to a drawer and removed a letter opener blade. He cracked the thick wax seal, released the ribbons and unfolded the envelope. Inside was another sealed envelope and a small note. Philip unfurled the small note and read it, a large smile appearing across his face. “I think this is meant for you,” he said and passed it to Paul.

  Quickly Paul opened the note to reveal a calligraphic picture of what looked like a bird shape.

  Fig 12:

  Beneath it he read some words written in Arabic: ‘Enta Habib Alby W Hayaty Ya Habibi’. He looked up at Philip.

  “Father, please can you read this for my Arabic is far from good… please?”

  Philip smiled and took the note back and looked at it again.

  “If I must. But this should surely teach you that you need to study harder. Now then…the bird is made up from two words, love and peace… and the sentence below reads… er…er,” Philip deliberately strung out.

  “Father…please,” Paul pleaded as Philip laughed at his expression.

  “It reads…‘Enta Habib Alby W Hayaty Ya Habibi’.”

  “Father!” Paul protested as Philip laughed again.

  “Sorry Paul…okay. It says, ‘You are the love of my heart and my life, my love’.” Paul smiled instantly and grabbed the note back, which made Philip laugh again. Paul started to blush and Philip could not help but laugh even more. “So who is it from?” he joked.

  “You know full well, Father,” Paul replied, embarrassed.

  “I do…I do indeed. Now sit and let us see what this says,” Philip said, motioning him to sit.

  Both sat and Philip cut open the envelope and began to read Firgany’s letter. He sighed heavily at first and rubbed his chin, something he always did when something worried him. Paul looked at him with concern.

  “Father, is there a problem?” he asked.

  Philip shook his head no but re read the letter again.

  “Apparently not…but I sense perhaps there is. Firgany says he has resolved the marriage issue in Mawsil.”

  “Yes!” Paul said, punching the air.

  “Ah…he goes on to say they are all having to return here…and not directly to Alexandria as planned but that he will explain why when they arrive.”

  “Oh excellent news.”

  “Hmm! I am not so sure. This is not like Firgany. He makes no mention of Raja or Taqi. And unlike you, I have no note from her,” Philip explained as he looked again inside the main envelope and on the back of the letter itself. “No, nothing. Just that he will explain all when here and that Alexandria will have to be delayed until the spring of next year!”

  “Can this day get any better?” Paul said excitedly. “That means they will be staying all autumn and winter.” Philip took a deep breath and then sighed heavily as his mind raced. Paul did not even notice the look of concern upon his father’s face. “So when will they be here?” Paul asked, oblivious to his father’s look.

  Philip looked at the letter again.

  “It looks like the first week of August. And he mentions that Stewart along with Gerard has been ordered back to France, though he does not say whereabouts, by Odo, the Grand Master of the Order. What plays out here, I wonder, truly?” Philip said and stood up, walked over to the large window and stood still just staring out in deep thought.

  “I must get ready. I have stuff to finish and tidy up,” Paul remarked excitedly and hurriedly stood up and rushed out of the room, his only thought being of Alisha and the note in his hand, his scrolls just left in the hallway.

  Paul read and re-read the note from Alisha and wrote out beneath it what it said so he would not forget. He prayed hard that the days would pass fast and for them to all have a safe journey. He could not remove the large smile from his face.

  The following day Sister Lucy came to the house to explain that Niccolas was unwell so would not be able to give his usual lesson. Someone had switched his water jug with another jug of water, not his usual pre-boiled water and he was subsequently sick. But Paul would not get out of his lesson that easy and she had agreed to teach him Arabic herself. Reluctantly Paul agreed and found himself sat at his work desk in his small study. After just half an hour, it became apparent Paul’s mind was elsewhere.

  “You seem distracted, Paul. What is the matter?” she asked as she sat opposite him.

  “Oh…I am sorry. I do not seem to be able to push Alisha from my mind. Knowing that she is on her way…will she change her mind about me? I mean…well, she is just so beautiful so why would she be interested in someone like me?” Paul replied as he twiddled a quill sharpener in his fingers.

  “Paul…self doubt is one thing, but never put yourself down as not being good enough or worthy of any person. Yes, she is beautiful but all you need ask yourself is one simple question.”

  “Really…and what is that?” Paul asked, looking at her.

  “Does she have a beautiful heart too? Some of the most beautiful women I have known have also had the coldest and hardest of hearts and play men.”

  “Oh no, she is not like that. You know her yourself.”

  “Inde
ed I do. And I know the fears your fathers have if you were to join as a couple.”

  “Yes. They made that very clear. But I cannot understand why not. Father is to marry Raja yet they refuse us the same prospect,” Paul said sadly and lowered his head.

  “You are still but so very young, and naive to so much of the world.”

  “I may be but the one sure thing I do know is that when I am with her, I am only then truly alive. Apart from her, I just feel like I am existing, not living. I do not wish to be rude, Sister, but how can you understand this for you are married to the Church?” Paul said defensively.

  “Paul,” Sister Lucy said softly and leaned across and placed her hand upon his. “I was not always a bride of Christ. I have known men…and it is precisely because I know how you feel right now, that when I lost the man whom my whole world was focused upon, that I came to be where I am today. When my husband was killed, a very large part of me was also killed,” Sister Lucy explained. Paul could see the emotion in her eyes.

  “But…I never realised you were…I mean I thought you had always been a nun,” Paul answered awkwardly.

  “No. Not always. I never even believed in Jesus the Christ, let alone attended church. But my story I shall have to leave for another time and it is sufficient to say that when my husband was killed I wanted to die. I even tried to kill myself, which, before you say it, I know is a sin.”

  Paul looked at her utterly bemused and surprised.

  “I never knew. I just assumed that you were, have always been a nun. I don’t know why.”

  “Perhaps because you have never known me any other way. I will have you know that I cut a fine figure of a woman in my youth.”

  Paul laughed. He could see her eyes still hinted at the beautiful woman she must have once looked in her youth, her face now etched with deep lines and the ravages of creeping old age.

  “How was your husband killed?” Paul asked, then recoiled and grimaced immediately.

  “It is fine to ask that question,” Sister Lucy said and sat up straight clasping her hands together. She took a deep breath for a moment before answering. “His name was John. John Plantavalu…,” Sister Lucy explained softly, her eyes wide as she looked down recalling the details with obvious pain still in her heart.

  “What! He had the same name as us?” Paul instantly asked.

  Sister Lucy looked up at him and simply nodded her head yes. For a moment it looked as though she would cry. “Same name only, but not blood related.”

  “But…I do not understand.”

  “Paul, all you need concern yourself with is this. Your father has loved and protected you in means and ways you will probably never know nor understand. And I pray you never need know. But also understand and know this. My husband John gave his life saving your father’s life and that of Firgany.”

  Paul sat back hard in his chair utterly surprised and shocked. He shook his head.

  “I do not understand this. Why are you telling me this now?”

  “Paul, you asked, so I am now telling you. Have you never wondered why I am always about? Why I have always been around your father and you throughout your life?” Sister Lucy asked as she searched his face to see his reaction.

  “No. Never…I mean why would I? It never occurred to me. I mean I have always just assumed that you were here because of your service to the Church and Niccolas and…and…well, I don’t know really,” Paul exclaimed bemused.

  “Paul. In time you will learn many things. Some things I pray to the Lord you never learn, but some things you will have no choice but to learn about. When I said you are still so naive, that was not an insult or to mock your youth, but to point out that much of what you think you know and understand will be challenged. The more you learn, the more questions you will have. Never assume things. As Niccolas keeps telling you, question everything always. But most importantly know this…your father loves you more than his own life.”

  “What about Stewart?”

  “And of course Stewart, you daft boy,” Sister Lucy replied and tapped his hand.

  “Sister Lucy. Why is it that I feel there are so many things about my father, about our family and its past, that I am not being told about? Like there is some great secret that I am not privy to?” Paul asked and looked at Sister Lucy almost pleadingly.

  “Like all things in life, some times you have to wait to be told, or to learn new things. Your time is rapidly coming. It is why your father and Firgany are so opposed to the union of you and Alisha. And good reason they have indeed.” Paul lowered his head even more upon hearing this. “Paul…No beauty shines brighter than that of a good heart.”

  “Exactly! And Alisha has a truly great heart,” Paul shot back, upset.

  “No one said she has not. The best way…in fact only way…I can explain this is to say that you two are both like a big fire that burns brightly in the centre hearth of a house. It protects and keeps the home warm, safe and inviting. But if you join that force, two big fires, then it becomes uncontrollable and the heat would destroy the hearth and subsequently the entire house. Do you understand this?” Sister Lucy asked softly.

  Paul looked at her confused and shook his head no. “I must confess I do not understand why. I am learning so many new things and I am confused about my family. I know there is much my father hides from me and I know not why.”

  “Listen to me, Paul. I know you think Alisha is everything and your entire world right now. But, please, you must try to keep your emotional distance from her when she gets here. In time you will meet another whom you will feel just as strongly about…believe me, you will.”

  “No!…Did you ever find another whom you loved as much as your husband? Clearly not,” Paul argued back, raising his voice, and stood up fast.

  “Do not get angry with me, Paul. What I say I say for both your benefits. And I am talking from bitter experience. If you cannot trust me, at least trust your father’s judgement on these matters, I beg of you,” Sister Lucy replied and stood up to face him. “Say nothing now but go and pray on these matters. And trust that inner voice, that inner instinct within you to know that what we are saying is the truth.”

  “Truth! I know nothing of what is the truth any more. For who knows what?” Paul said and pulled away. He turned and immediately left the room, visibly upset. Sister Lucy just stood still and sighed as the door shut behind him.

  Paul rushed up to his bedroom chambers, shut the door slowly, the temptation to slam it being hard to fight. He slumped down upon his bed, took out the note from Alisha and unfurled it gently. He read it again, placed it to his face and smelt it. Alisha had deliberately splashed two spots of her perfume upon it. He closed his eyes and sighed heavily. ‘Indeed who knows what?’ he thought to himself, saddened.

  Chapter 10

  Worlds in Chaos

  It was the early hours of the morning and despite a cool breeze entering his bedroom chambers through the open window, Paul tossed and turned in his bed kicking his covers. He was sweating heavily and he pulled at his night shirt as he struggled for air. He was dreaming again.

  As he dreamt he could see images of his father in full military regalia swinging his sword violently as Firgany did likewise by his side. He could almost taste blood in his mouth and feel the grit of sand and dust in his mouth. Horses shrieked and screamed as the sound of fighting, men yelling, swords and shields clashing filled his ears. He could hardly breathe he felt. Then in an instant he felt himself being pulled upwards making his stomach churn. He could now see down upon a whole area of open fields near to a lake. Two large horns seemed to appear on the horizon, but the tips clearly covered in blood. He knew this could not be real for no landscape would have real animal horns so large. He struggled to understand what he was seeing as two massive opposing armies rushed headlong towards each other. He kept on hearing a young boy’s voice. “Father… stay back…Father stay back”, it kept repeating. He then looked up into the burning sun to see the unbelievably large silhou
ette of what appeared to be a giant eagle, its shadow casting itself across the two opposing armies and stretching out to cover all the land in darkness. He tried to turn his head and see who and where the voice was coming from. A large sword suddenly appeared in his vision thrusting downwards. “I will keep her safe, Father” he then heard and awoke with a jump.

  Startled and out of breath he sat upright shaking, his nightshirt soaked with sweat. Confused, he rubbed his head, feeling emotional. He felt totally alone and sad. His gaze fell upon Alisha’s note and calligraphic drawings next to his bed. He picked them up and gently held them. Sister Lucy’s comments ran through his mind making him feel even worse.

  “Why, Lord, do you curse me with these dreams…and feelings?” he asked aloud, looking up. ‘I must speak with Niccolas this very day. I must have some answers,’ he thought to himself as he looked at Alisha’s items. He felt slightly guilty that he had not even thought of how he was yesterday. Perhaps he was becoming too wrapped up in Alisha to the detriment and exclusion of everyone and everything else. He then felt even guiltier for thinking that. He had not even said goodbye to Sister Lucy so he knew he owed her an apology. Quickly he got himself up and dressed and without breakfast made his way to Niccolas’s chapel.

  The early morning air was cold and a mist hung across the open fields as he headed up the slight incline towards the chapel. The sun was only just breaking on the horizon but he noticed a candle light was already shining through the small window where Niccolas had his upper office. As Paul entered the chapel side door into Niccolas’s small office, he was surprised to see Sister Lucy and Niccolas already sat at the small table, each with a small silver goblet of wine. Tired, they both looked up at him. Niccolas looked very pale.