by D. N. Carter
“That side of things we will have to explain at a later time. Right now we have given you the smallest seed to plant within you. From now onwards, the responsibility to learn, and more importantly, understand, will fall firmly at your feet. For now, Paul, you must go and make amends with someone,” Firgany explained and smiled and indicated with his head for Paul to leave.
“Do you think I should?” Paul asked awkwardly.
“Yes…do not wait nor hesitate in case they change their minds,” Taqi interrupted.
Quickly Paul stood up and edged past his father. As he did, Philip grabbed his arm and looked up at him.
“Son…we will support you both in any way we can…you have our word on that,” Philip said reassuringly.
“Indeed…but as I said earlier…break her heart and I will flail you alive,” Firgany joked and smiled.
Paul went red in the face and simply smiled back as he left the kitchen.
As Paul walked up the stairs, his heart began to beat faster. He approached the room Alisha was in. He could hear her still sobbing inside quietly and his stomach churned. Gently he tapped on the door. The room went silent. He waited and tapped again.
“Ali, it is me. Please open the door,” Paul said softly as he leaned near the door.
“Go away. I do not want to see you,” Alisha replied her voice shaking.
“Please Ali…I am sorry. I…I…I was only thinking about my responsibilities and our fathers…and,” Paul said awkwardly as he struggled to find words. He stood up straight and back from the door as he heard footsteps. The door latch clicked as Alisha slowly opened the door. “Oh Ali…I am so sorry.”
Alisha opened the door fully and stood in front of him. She took a deep breath and shook her head to flick her hair away from her face. Her eyes were still puffy but she scowled her face at him as she looked at him hard.
“Responsibilities? What about your responsibility to me? I thought you were a man…a man that I could depend upon…but you are still a boy,” she said sternly, her hands clasped across her waist tightly. She took another deep breath.
“Ali…that is not fair…and uncalled for. I have had much to deal with these past months…”
“I do not want to hear it,” Alisha interrupted raising her hand quickly and closed her eyes, clearly fighting her emotions.
“Ali…”
“NO!” she replied and opened her eyes, which welled with tears. “You have hurt me. Truly hurt me…I will not let you ever do that again,” she said, her voice shaking and emotional.
Paul looked at her lip quiver as she fought to control her emotions.
“Ali…come here,” Paul said softly and stepped forwards to hold her.
“NO!” Alisha said loudly and pushed him away hard.
Stunned, Paul stepped backwards, shock registering across his face.
“But Ali, our fathers have now said…said we can be together if we so desire. They have given us their blessing,” Paul blurted out as tears began to well in his eyes, his mind racing and confused.
“Really…so you have to wait for their permission do you?” Alisha shot back.
“Ali…this is not you. I made a mistake in trying to ignore you as I thought that was the best thing to do as everyone was telling me that if I truly loved you, I would let you go for your own safety…and…”
“Pathetic…I do not want to hear it.”
“What? Ali…what has happened to you? I am sorry.”
“A lot has happened to me since you last saw me. And now…when I needed you the most, you act like a boy. You are not the man I thought you were.”
“Ali, that is harsh. I cannot believe you are saying these words…look…I meant every word of this,” Paul exclaimed, his voice broken and shaking as he took out the poem she had given him back. He offered it to her to take. She looked at it. As she lowered her gaze, tears fell from her eyes. Quickly she looked back at him.
“You hurt me,” she said sternly and stood up straight.
“And I am sorry. It will never happen again…I promise,” Paul pleaded and offered her the poem again. She grabbed it, opened it and quickly looked at it, then rolled it up again firmly and proffered him to take it back, a defiant look upon her face.
“No…I will not take it. It is yours,” Paul said emotionally and quickly wiped a tear from his cheek.
Alisha thrust her hand outwards with the poem hard again and stood up taller, raising her chin as another tear rolled down her cheek.
“This is madness…why will you not take it back?…Is it because there is someone else, like that Templar Nicholas I am hearing all about…and whom I hear you even kissed?” Paul asked.
Alisha let out a gasp and half bent forward in surprise. Anger registered on her face. Her face went white as the colour drained form her. She gasped to catch her breath and rested her hands on her knees as if she were about to faint.
“You stupid boy…you absolute stupid boy,” she blurted out breathless and emotional as she stood up straight. She glared at him in anger. She took a deep breath. “Words…just words…that is all you have or ever will have. I can see that now. You may think my words harsh, but trust me, Paul, it is nothing compared to the harsh realities that lay out there. This…,” she said coldly, lifting up the poem, “this will not help me nor protect me out there. So yes I have changed for I have realised the responsibility I have to myself also, and that what I need is a man. A man who will do everything and whatever it takes to look after me and whom I can respect and love in return…with all my heart. And don’t you dare say I am being naive before you even think it for I have seen what this real world is like. You have seen but the inside of a study…and that is all. As I said…you hurt me…you will never get the chance to do so again….and this…this is pathetic…like you,” Alisha said slowly and deliberately, her tone harsh. “Now take it back…give it to some foolish woman who will believe it.”
Paul stood in stunned silence just looking at her outstretched hand holding the poem, her hand shaking. He thought he was about to be sick and he tried to gulp, but his mouth was dry. The stairs creaked to his right as Taqi walked up the stairs slowly. As Paul and Alisha looked at him, he raised his hands quickly and feigned a concerned smile having heard them arguing. Paul looked back at Alisha just as she threw the poem at him, turned her back and slammed her door shut loudly. Taqi walked towards Paul slowly. He bent down and picked up the poem and handed it to Paul to take.
“Take it, my friend. She will want it back one day,” he said calmly. Paul hesitated before taking it. Tears fell down his face and quickly he tried to wipe them away, embarrassed. “Hell is a more preferable place than facing a woman you have hurt, my friend,” Taqi said and went to place his arm around Paul. “You are lucky…if she really did hate you, I think you would now have a three bladed dagger sunk deeply into your heart by now,” Taqi joked.
“Huh! That would indeed be far more preferable to this,” Paul answered choked.
“Come, my friend…I know Ali…and she will come round.”
“No I won’t. Not EVER!” Ali shouted from behind the door.
“She will,” Taqi whispered and ushered Paul away.
Both Firgany and Philip looked up from the main hall way downstairs, concerned. Taqi gave a thumbs up and smiled. Philip looked at Firgany.
“Oh the strong fiery passion of youth, eh?” he said to Firgany quietly.
“Oh yes. She is just like her mother was. In time, when she learns about her, she will realise how much so. I do not think I have done your son any favours this day,” Firgany replied as Taqi led Paul away to his chambers still visibly upset.
“I think Paul is rapidly learning…besides, they are stuck here for the next few months…and they cannot avoid or ignore each other indefinitely,” Philip commented and folded his arms.
“You sure about that?” Firgany replied and smiled and also folded his arms.
Port of La Rochelle, France, Melissae Inn, spring 1191
&n
bsp; “Oh the poor little bairn,” Sarah said sadly.
“Who, Paul or Alisha?” Simon immediately asked.
“What does bairn mean?” the Genoese sailor asked.
“Baby…I think,” Stephan answered.
“Bairn is a Scot word is it not?” Gabirol stated.
“Aye ’tis that…I am from the lowlands originally,” Sarah replied. “Can ye not tell from my accent?”
“What accent?” Simon said as Sarah picked up another jug to throw at him. Stephan placed his hand over hers stopping her from doing so.
“You think Alisha has a temper…you wait until this one gets going,” Stephan joked.
Sarah punched him hard in the side, playfully.
“So was that it then…the end of them two after all that?” she asked.
The old man looked at her quietly for a few moments. Then he smiled.
“Well…tempestuous and emotionally volatile would be a fair way to explain things between them both. You must understand, Alisha had seen and experienced a lot during those eventful months, as well as go through the changes of changing from a girl into a woman,” the old man explained.
“Oh yes…and we all know the hell that put us through,” Sarah joked.
“You mean, puts us through…and every month!” Stephan joked as Sarah hit him again.
The Templar looked at the maid still sat next to him and smiled at her. She smiled back and did not look away as he stared at her eyes intently. His brother raised his eyebrows and shook his head. The old man saw this and smiled.
“We can never tell or know when love will hit us…or in some cases leave us,” the old man said softly.
“So that is it then. She just ends it and moves on…,” Sarah said partly disgusted.
“To that Nicholas Templar I bet,” Simon said and folded his arms.
“Do not be so quick to judge or draw conclusions. As I was saying, Alisha had been through much and was changing. Even she did not understand her emotions. Returning to La Rochelle, so looking forward to seeing Paul, and for him to simply ignore her, as she saw it, was utterly devastating to her. Paul had felt crushed and broken hearted when he realised they could not be together, but at least that was a decision he had made. Alisha had no idea of what was coming from Paul. All her expectations and desires and hopes for the future had all rested upon Paul. It had given her strength and courage to go through all that she had over the past months. And despite what she said, his poem had helped more than she realised. But then, when she thought she would be with Paul, for she had determined that no matter what their fathers said, she would find a way to be together. For Paul to ignore her and hurt her was inconceivable. The hurt she felt was very deep and very real and she had no way of understanding it or dealing with it alone. Raja was gone and she had no females who could offer advice. Her own self defence took over instead,” the old man explained.
“Please…just tell us, did she forgive him and get together?” Sarah asked impatiently.
“Well, let me explain what happened next. I can start by saying that Paul felt so ashamed and embarrassed at the same time that he made sure he was out of the house even earlier every morning, sometimes alone and sometimes with Taqi. He would also return late in the evening having stayed late at Niccolas’s chapel. Sister Lucy had offered to go and speak with Alisha but Paul begged her not too. Sister Lucy was still very much against them becoming a couple anyway,” the old man detailed.
“Oh, she is harsh too I suspect,” Sarah interrupted.
“No…not at all. She simply had Paul’s best interests at heart. Paul managed to keep out of Alisha’s way for the better part of a month nearly before things came to a head. Paul had convinced himself he was indeed better off without Alisha as she had been so cutting and cruel in her comments, comments he could not get out of his head. He even began to resent her. When he thought of her, he would find himself feeling angry. One evening whilst sat with Taqi in his chambers, Paul stood up, removed the poem from his drawer and threw it into his bin and stamped his foot hard into the bin squashing it down.”
“That does not sound good…but…he still had a copy, did he not, he could give her?” Simon interrupted again.
“He did, but as you can see, we have that here this night,” the old man pointed out.
“O Lord…I love that poem,” Sarah sighed.
“One evening Paul was told he had to attend an evening meal and that Stewart would be present as he had been granted an evening off by Gerard. When Paul finally did show up, to disapproving looks from his father and Firgany, Alisha did not even look up at him but sat looking at Stewart adoringly instead,” the old man explained and shrugged his shoulders.
“Not good…not good,” Peter the stonemason remarked.
“No…it was not good,” the old man said and shook his head lightly. “Paul stood rooted to the spot. Stewart looked at Paul and smiled. When Alisha looked up and at Paul, the big smile on her face vanished. She looked at Paul with a look of almost disgust that cut through Paul like a knife.”
“Just like his poem then…coming true,” Simon stated and nodded.
“Yes…very much so. Even when Alisha saw the obvious hurt and pain register on his face, she just turned her look back to Stewart and smiled at him. Firgany lowered his head in embarrassment. It was an awkward moment. Stewart seemed oblivious. He beckoned Paul join them…and that is when Paul flounced around and stormed off. Alisha just kept on smiling at Stewart as Philip and Firgany looked at each other.”
“Very awkward. I don’t think I am liking this Alisha so much now,” Sarah said.
“Do not misunderstand what I say here. Alisha was still hurting deeply. She was a very strong character but dealing with the pain and perceived rejection she felt was confusing and painful for her. What neither Paul nor any of the others saw though, was that despite her false smile and bravado, when she returned to her chambers that night, she unfurled the copy of the poem she had done, in all its beauty and splendour of colours and brilliantly executed calligraphic styles, and cried over it uncontrollably,” the old man said sadly.
“I think I shall need to keep quiet in future. I like her again,” Sarah sniffed and quickly wiped a tear away just as the maid did likewise.
“You said things all came to a head that night. How so?” Gabirol asked and unbuttoned the fine gold coloured and embroidered jacket he was wearing.
“Are you getting hot?” Stephan asked him.
“A touch so. But I think it is from what I hear that raises my blood,” he answered and fully unbuttoned his jacket.
“I apologise if the story upsets you,” the old man exclaimed.
“No, it does not upset me. It does remind me of certain times in my own life…so I can relate to what they feel. It makes me hot remembering it, that is all. So please, pray you continue for I am eager to hear this story complete,” Gabirol replied.
“Paul’s father tried to mediate between Paul and Alisha but with both of them being so stubborn, getting them together seemed an impossible task. Firgany despaired at one point with Alisha and threatened to leave with her and Taqi on the very next boat unless she dealt with Paul one way or another. But Philip managed to calm Firgany’s growing frustration with Alisha. She certainly was her mother’s daughter all right. Gerard and the Local Templar Master even had to come and ask Philip to keep Alisha away from their main building as she would all too often ask to see Stewart. Gerard had no choice but to deal with her every time she arrived, but even he started to have a very begrudging respect and liking for Alisha. She seemed to have that effect. So even the hardest of men like Gerard were in part won over by her. That was the only positive aspect that came from the break up between Paul and Alisha. Though was it not really a break up as they had never actually been a couple. Meanwhile Paul had insisted he be allowed to join the Order as a novice and join as soon as could be arranged a term of service on board one of the fleet’s ships. Philip tried everything in his power to dissuade him
from doing so. He feared for Paul’s physical safety, for despite his growing up fast, inside he was a gentle person. More insightful than most and quite sensitive,” the old man explained.
“Huh…I know someone who was like that…and look what he turned out like,” the Hospitaller interrupted and pointed to his Templar brother. The Templar smiled and pointed at himself as if to ask ‘Who, me?’
“Being gentle and sensitive is not necessarily a setback or disadvantage in a soldier. In fact I would argue it should be essential. There is an old saying I have always tried to teach…and that is ‘the stronger you are, the gentler you become’. But anyway, Paul was adamant, and he even managed to convince Gerard to endorse his joining papers as a novice. I would like to think that Gerard’s time in La Rochelle changed him…enough to make a difference anyway. But…. well, some people you cannot change. Philip tried to tell Paul of the atrocities committed in the name of religion on both sides and so hoped that he, whom he viewed as sensitive and artistic, unlike his headstrong and at times arrogant elder brother, Stewart, would follow in his footsteps and carry on his trade and business. Many doubts entered Paul’s mind about becoming a novice, but the pain he was feeling inside for Alisha just seemed too much to bear. By going away and keeping busy, he hoped to erase his feelings for her for ever. Even after he had completed his period as novice, he could always become a Confrere Knight instead. Firgany and Philip discussed how best to move forwards and whether it would be wise to all now travel to Alexandria with the obvious tension between Alisha and Paul. After some meetings and lengthy discussions, Firgany secured passage for him and Alisha to sail from Marseilles to Italy and on to Cyprus then Alexandria. Taqi would continue from Cyprus to Tortosa and on to meet Rashid. Philip had by then been approached by fellow masons from England asking for his assistance in the design and building of a new temple in London. It was agreed, once he had completed the work, he would then move on to meet up with Firgany in Alexandria. Philip would leave his property in La Rochelle in trust with the Templars and for both Paul and Stewart’s later use if so desired,” the old man said and then sat up and paused as he thought upon what he had said.