Ashes and Ecstasy

by Catherine Hart

  “Only people he finds offensive,” Kathleen responded sweetly.

  Mary Taylor nearly swooned upon seeing her long-lost son. Joyous tears poured down her cheeks, and she flung herself into his arms as if she would never let him go. As Reed poured out the story of his adventures once again, Mary would reach out now and then to touch his sleeve or stroke his bearded face, to assure herself that he was really here and not a figment of her imagination.

  “We should have believed Kathleen all along,” she admitted with a tremulous sigh. “She refused to accept that you were dead. Even when we finally forced her to admit it, she was reluctant. The poor girl was practically destroyed!”

  Under other circumstances, Sally Simpson’s introduction and cool reception from Reed’s family would have caused Kathleen to gloat openly. Mary, though polite, was obviously wondering exactly what had gone on between her son and the little blonde during those long, lonely months. Susan, usually so bubbly and outgoing, was decidedly reserved toward the young visitor. Both mother and sister, aware of Reed’s trigger temper, wisely kept their own council, but it was plain that they were on Kathleen’s side.

  Reed’s reunion with his children was the one truly perfect moment of the day. Rosy-cheeked and bleary-eyed from their naps, they came trotting down the stairs behind Della. After one brief, astonished look, Andrea launched herself full-force into Reed’s open arms. Katlin, just turned three the end of March, was less sure of this bearded stranger, preferring his mother’s comfort first. As Kathleen gathered him close, kissing his dark, damp baby curls, her eyes met Reed’s above Katlin’s head. It was a poignant moment of shared love and joy.

  “Katlin, my love,” she murmured graciously, “go kiss Daddy hello.”

  Katlin gazed up at her with puzzled blue eyes, so exactly like his father’s, that Kathleen’s heart contracted in her chest. “Go on, sweetheart,” she urged.

  Obediently, he slid off her lap and crossed cautiously to his father’s side, his eyes wide with wonder. “Daddy?” he asked, not knowing quite what to make of this tall dark man who was almost a stranger.

  Reed set Andrea to one side, and the little girl bounced over to embrace her mother. Reed held out his arms. “Katlin. Son,” he croaked, his voice gruff with emotion. Katlin walked hesitantly into his father’s embrace, to be pulled immediately onto Reed’s lap. After gravely touching the bearded face near his, Katlin smiled. “Daddy,” he crooned, cuddling contentedly against his father’s broad chest, and sticking his thumb in his mouth.

  Reed’s eyes glistened as he held his son close to his heart. “It is so good to be home,” he said hoarsely, choking back a sob of joy.

  Sally’s reaction to meeting the children was both stilted and over-effusive. “What darlings!” she cooed, with nearly believable sincerity. Directing her attentions to Andrea, she said, “You must be Alexandrea. Your father has told me all about you. You certainly are a little beauty!”

  Andrea stared back, unimpressed. “I know it,” she replied with pert confidence.

  Taken aback, Sally turned to Katlin. “Now here is a boy after his father’s heart!” she exclaimed a bit too brightly. “I suppose everyone tells you that you look exactly like your papa.”

  Katlin frowned, clutching at Reed’s shirt and nursing his thumb.

  “Katlin,” his father directed gently, “say hello to Miss Simpson.”

  Thus prompted, Katlin popped his thumb out of his mouth, offering the same wet hand to Sally in manly imitation of a handshake. “Lo, Miss Simpleton,” he muttered.

  Kathleen almost choked on suppressed laughter. Sally Simpson gasped in offended disbelief, while Reed sent a black look in Kathleen’s direction, his gaze pinning her to her place. Kathleen’s slanted green eyes widened innocently as she struggled to maintain her composure, while behind her, Isabel giggled audibly. Several chuckles were quickly quelled by Reed’s glare at each member of his family.

  His blue eyes narrowed suspiciously, as Mary put in hastily, “Children will say the oddest things!”

  “Yes,” Susan added helpfully. “Teddy is constantly embarrassing me to death! I just never know what he is going to say next.”

  Her comment served to ease the tension, and the incident passed without further remark.

  A surprise awaited Reed when he entered the bedroom to change for dinner, to find the room completely changed from the last time he had left it.

  “What the devil?” he exclaimed in bafflement. “Kat! Get up here!” he roared from the head of the stairs.

  Racing up the staircase, Kathleen could not imagine what had upset Reed, until she saw his face as he viewed the room.

  “Oh, my goodness!” she gasped, clamping a hand over her mouth. “I had completely forgotten! I redecorated!”

  “I can see that,” he drawled, amused at her reaction. “Can you tell me what you did with my clothes?”

  “In the attic,” she blurted.

  “Fine. Might we retrieve them so that I can dress for dinner?”

  “I will see to it right away,” she promised, heading out the door in search of one of the house servants. Then she popped her head back in, her teeth worrying at her lower lip as she hesitated.

  “Yes? Have you forgotten something?” he asked.

  “Reed, do you want the room changed back to the way it was?”

  Eyeing his surroundings critically, he considered this. “That won’t be necessary. Just add another dresser and an armoire for my things, and if you exchange one of those delicate chairs for a deep, comfortable one, the room will accommodate us both. In fact, I rather like what you have done with it. I was getting tired of the old decor.”

  “I’m glad.” Kathleen breathed a silent sigh of relief that the room, at least, pleased him. She had not looked forward to redecorating again.

  “Of course the bed is a bit smaller than our old one, but that won’t bother me at all. And I can be reasonably sure no one else has shared this one with you,” he added bitingly.

  Kathleen’s good mood dissolved. With a glare, she stamped out of the room.

  The next day, Kathleen rode over to Emerald Hill to visit her grandmother. It dismayed Kathleen to see how much Kate seemed to have aged in the last few months. Much of the older woman’s fabled vitality was missing, and her once-brilliant copper hair was now completely white. Even the sparkling emerald eyes seemed dimmer now, but her mind was still alert and her wit sharp. After their loving reunion, she sensed that Kathleen was troubled, and soon her granddaughter was spilling out the entire tangled tale.

  “Well, lass, when ye get yerself into a mess, ye certainly make it a good one!” Kate said, shaking her head sadly. “I wish I could help ye, but I can’t. Only ye and Reed can set things straight b’tween ye. ’Tis a shame!”

  “I know, Gram. It would not be so bad if that Simpson creature would be on her way, but I have a feeling she won’t be leaving very soon. She’s making herself right at home!”

  “From the sound o’ it, she’s set her cap fer Reed. Ye’d better stand yer ground and watch out fer thet gal,” Kate advised.

  “Oh, I shall, for all the good it will do me,” Kathleen sighed. “Reed certainly has me over a barrel this time.”

  Kate patted Kathleen’s hand soothingly. “We’ll think o’ somthin’, lass. Don’t ye fret.”

  It was to prove a long and disastrous summer. Reed was kept busy tending to matters both on the plantation and at the shipping office in Savannah. While he regularly sent his ships on privateering missions, he was now too occupied to take voyages of his own. After a year’s absence, there was much that needed his attention.

  Indeed, everyone was very busy, with the exception of Sally Simpson, who was left much of the time to herself. Susan returned to her family and home in Savannah. Aunt Barbara and Uncle William, after a short visit to Chimera to welcome Reed and Kathleen, went to Augusta for a few months’ stay with Amy and her family. Mary helped Kathleen manage the household at Chimera as did Isabel, which gave
Kathleen freedom to help Kate at Emerald Hill, and to learn more of the horse breeding trade. Every spare minute she devoted to Katlin and Andrea.

  There were the usual multitude of social activities— parties, balls, and picnics. Reed’s miraculous return from the dead only increased his popularity, and the Taylors found themselves invited to all the major functions. Kathleen managed the time to visit her dressmaker and order a new summer wardrobe for herself and Isabel, and the two women made it a shopping spree to remember, taking great glee in handing Reed the bill for their extravagant expenditures. Some of Kathleen’s pleasure evaporated when she discovered several of Sally’s clothing bills on Reed’s desk, also. Kathleen tried to tell herself it was no more than she had expected, but it hurt, nevertheless.

  Chimera, large as it was, was too small to house both Kathleen and Sally Simpson, but Sally was in no hurry to move on. Each day was a supreme trial to Kathleen's patience. At least twice a day she was forced to sit down to a meal at the same table with Reed’s former mistress. Kathleen could barely force the food past her lips, and most days she managed to lunch with Kate at Emerald Hill.

  When her duties did not occupy her time, Kathleen took long rides on her stallion. Away they would fly, racing across the fields. It was one way of relieving her pent-up tensions. For a while, astride Zeus, she could forget her problems, and revel in the feel of the powerful animal beneath her and the wind streaming through her shining, unbound hair.

  Once in a while, Reed would join her. It seemed the only time they were truly at peace with one another, perhaps because they rarely talked then. They rode in silent companionship, enjoying the brisk pace and sharing their love for the land. When they did speak, it was of Reed’s work, his plans for Chimera, or Kathleen’s progress in her study of horse breeding.

  But most of the time, they lived in a state of armed truce. Reed had changed drastically from the loving, teasing husband Kathleen once had known. He had become more adept than ever at wounding with sharp words or a dark glare from those steely eyes. It was apparent to Kathleen that his suspicions about her and Jean were still eating away at him, making him hateful and giving neither of them much joy or peace.

  Reed seemed to take a special pleasure in taunting Kathleen, as if he were deliberately pushing her to the limit of her patience. Then, just as she was about to explode in angry words, he would casually remind her of all she stood to lose. Lately, he had taken to insinuating he did not care for her any longer; that the only reason he didn’t cast her aside was because his family adored her, and for the children's sake. In that same vein, he always managed to stress that Kathleen was still his wife, and therefore his property and subservient to his will.

  Kathleen felt like a mouse cornered by a huge cat. The constant strain was telling on her. The shadows beneath her eyes were becoming more pronounced, and Kathleen, who rarely wept, many times found herself rushing away to cry in secret.

  To add to Kathleen’s misery, Reed was openly gallant to Sally Simpson, often taking time out of his busy day to be with her. So obvious were his attentions that it almost seemed as if he were courting her. Though he dutifully escorted Kathleen to the social functions they attended, he spent much of his time entertaining Miss Simpson, and before long, the entire county was abuzz with gossip about Reed and his attractive houseguest.

  Of course, this made Sally unbearably smug. While largely ignored by the rest of the Taylor household, she found ample opportunity to needle Kathleen. At first, she did so unobtrusively, or when she found Kathleen alone, but as time went on and Reed did not rush to Kathleen’s defense, Sally became more bold and blatant in her vindictiveness and her flirtation with Reed.

  Catty comments at the dinner table were one thing; private confrontations were quite another.

  “When are you going to realize that Reed no longer cares for you?” Sally would say. “Why don’t you give in gracefully?”

  Rather than lose her temper, Kathleen learned to deal with Sally with cool disdain. “My dear, you have been in the sun too long,” she countered smoothly. “It addles the brain, and I must warn you, it does horrid things to your complexion.”

  Sally especially delighted in taunting Kathleen with the year she had spent on that deserted island with Reed. “We had a lot of time to get to know one another, you know. We became very close.” Then Sally would sigh adoringly. “Reed is so muscular; his strength and endurance amaze me. And he is such an attentive lover!”

  Kathleen forced a carefree laugh. “Who else did he have to impress with his prowess all those months?” she pointed out with deliberate spite. Outwardly, Kathleen took Sally’s taunting in stride; inside, she was bleeding.

  “Then how do you account for Reed’s attentions toward me now, Kathleen?” the girl countered. “We spend a great deal of time together, while you are off doing whatever it is you do all day. Surely you realize we do more than chat.”

  Kathleen smiled mockingly. “And surely you realize whose bed he prefers each night.”

  Sally chose to ignore that remark. “All Savannah knows of Reed’s feelings for me. How can you go on humiliating yourself this way?” she asked with feigned pity.

  Slanted emerald eyes narrowed, but Kathleen’s reply was cool. “I wear his wedding ring. You are whispered about in every parlor, Sally, and the comments are not kind.”

  Her face suffused with the heat of angry frustration, Sally announced, “I will win him in the end!”

  Kathleen shook her head in mock sympathy. “Do not delude yourself, little girl. Throughout the ages, men have toyed with their mistresses, but they rarely divorce their wives for them. Why buy the cow when the milk is free? You would be very foolish to take him seriously. Reed is playing with you, Sally, in a cruel game for his own private amusement.”

  Dealing with Sally was one thing, dealing with Reed quite another. Here, Kathleen had to tread carefully, and it was increasingly difficult. During the day, she could ignore his indifference but at night, alone in their bedroom, it was impossible to deflect his vindictive attacks. In public, he treated Kathleen with cool deference and courtesy, but behind closed doors, the polite veneer was stripped away.

  Reed was obsessed with the need to dominate her and bend her to his will. It was as if he were compelled to obliterate all traces of Jean’s touch, to defile any sweet memories of him that Kathleen might still hold dear.

  Kathleen’s subdued behaviour these days had forced Reed to wonder if her unsmiling face and haunted eyes had more to do with losing Jean as her lover than with his own actions. Jealousy drove him to retaliate by lavishing more time and attention on Sally; he knew it would hurt Kathleen to believe that Sally continued to be his mistress, though that was not the case. While he knew that Sally would willingly assume that role, hoping eventually to win him as her husband, Reed had not touched the girl since their rescue. His heart still belonged to the copper-haired vixen with the flashing green eyes, Reed admitted to himself, and as long as he loved Kathleen, no other woman could lay claim to him.

  Still, driven by some inner demon he could not control, Reed continued to torment Kathleen as the certainty of her love for Jean tormented him. He shrugged off twinges of conscience when she would tearfully ask, “Why are you doing this, Reed? What more do you want? I am trying to please you in every way I know, and still it is not enough. I do not know what else to do!”

  “You might try ceasing to mourn your lost lover,” he suggested cruelly.

  “If you are referring to Jean, it is you who keeps reminding me of him,” she pointed out. “Rarely a day passes that you do not bring up his name.”

  Her words were true, and both knew it. Reed flayed her with his suspicions at every turn, trying to wring a confession of guilt that Kathleen would rather die than give, realizing that to do so would only inflame Reed’s anger further. She would have given anything if her brief affair with Jean had never happened, considering the grief it had caused all three of them.

  Even while making
love to her, Reed could not let the matter rest. As his hands roamed her body, he would ask, "Did Jean caress you this way, Kathleen? Did he know to touch you here? Did he find this spot on your shoulder that drives you wild? Did his hands make you mad with passion, as mine do?”

  Kathleen’s fervent denials only seemed to spur him to greater lengths. Time and again, he took her to the edge of rapture, only to make her beg for the ultimate ecstasy. He took a demonic delight in humiliating her, often requiring her to acknowledge her subjugation to him before satisfying her needs.

  “Who do you belong to, Kathleen?” he would demand. “Who rules your heart and body?”

  Caught in the bondage of her need for him, she would admit, “You do, Reed.” And then she would weep.

  Not understanding the reasons behind Reed’s actions, Mary eventually took her son to task. “While I realize that you are a grown man, I feel compelled as your mother to tell you that you have been behaving abominably!” she remonstrated. “You have been treating Kathleen horribly, and flaunting that—that hussy—in everyone’s face, including mine. I do not mind telling you that I do not appreciate your dragging the Taylor name through the mud! Just why Kathleen tolerates such abuse from you, I can not begin to guess!”

  “And I do not appreciate your interference, Mother,” Reed replied stiffly. “What goes on between Kat and myself is solely our business!”

  Never had her son spoken to her in such a manner. Mary’s temper, hardly ever in evidence, rose at this. “Not when you have made it a public matter by your own actions!” she countered. “Why are you behaving like this? If you would just explain, perhaps I could understand and help in some way.”

  “I will deal with it in my own way, thank you. If you do not care for the way things are at Chimera, you can always stay with Susan for a while.”

  Hurt by her son’s sharp words, Mary retoned, “If not for Kathleen, I would do just that, but I will not desert her while you are treating her so poorly!”