Finding My Mate

by Rylee Winters

  Embarrassment reddened my cheeks at the memories that flowed into my mind’s eye, and I jerked my head in an awkward nod. The doctor didn’t sound surprised or skeptical – as if this kind of thing happened all the time.

  But he was a shifter, so maybe it did happen all the time.

  “Did you kill the wolves yet?” Flinging the question out there just to change the subject, I turned my gaze to Derek as his expression soured. “Two days – that is too long. They will not come back.”

  “How do you know?” Blinking slowly at the doctor’s question, I pursed my lips and exhaled through flared nostrils as he carefully picked at the bandages opposite Derek’s side.

  “I know because I know. Why do you think I would not know? How do you think I learned to control my magic? Meditating?” Disgust coated my tongue, and I sucked in a sharp breath when the doctor started to peel back the bandages.

  It is a shame I can’t use my magic on myself. The pain wasn’t unbearable – but it hurt.

  “Their minds were very weak – just like the humans. They cannot come back. I will not bring them back.” Defiance burned my throat, and I narrowed my eyes on the wall even as Derek reached to brush his fingers through my hair.

  “You’re not…that’s not the problem here, Linne. Their clan is going to come for them, and even though they realize they shouldn’t attack us, they’re going to want to. Alpha Liza’s brother wasn’t at the park, which means he’s still a problem.”

  “Then I will just kill him.” A low, threatening growl met my declaration, and my gaze flickered up to Derek to find him frowning deeply. “What? Do you not want him to die?”

  For a long, slow few seconds, Derek didn’t answer me even as he continued to stroke my hair. His intense stare blocked out what the doctor was doing, and I licked my lips heavily as nerves tingled in my belly.

  “…It doesn’t matter what I want. Alpha Jackson is the one that decides that, Linne.” He chose his words carefully, and I grimaced at his drawling, discontent tone. My mind whirred, trying and failing to put all of these pieces together in a way that made sense.

  “I matter to what you want…?” Scrunching up my face at the jumble of incoherence that rolled off my heavy tongue, I bit back a groan. “I mean – I…it – mmm…”

  ‘You are getting as stupid as a human, Linne.’ Struggling to turn my head at the mirthful jibe, I couldn’t hide my whimper when my skin pulled and resisted. Hopping along the side of the mattress, Muss’s eyes shimmered in concern as he cocked his head. ‘Why did you hurt yourself?’

  “I am not stupid, Muss. I…over-reacted.” Opening his beak wide, Muss actually laughed at my bad explanation, and I grimaced as he shook his head side to side.

  ‘I will fix you. These injuries will be much easier than your leg.’ Affection rushed through my chest to replace the annoyance that coiled there, and Muss blinked his largest eye at me as he ruffled his feathers. ‘I also have news…bad news. Kaslni is not happy with me for searching for her Reliquaries. I have been…demoted…I am to stay in the human realm until she decides I can return.’

  “I do not see how that is unjust punishment, Muss. You should have been more careful. Kaslni is a Courtier for a reason, and you were stupid to underestimate her.” Even as I scolded Muss, my heart soared that I would no longer be alone. Lifting my arm to weave my fingers through the ghost of his silhouette, I smiled wide as he bobbed his head at my phantom touch.

  ‘Can he see me?’ The question caught me off guard, and I twisted to find Derek staring under furrowed brows directly at Muss. My smile died, and my tongue gyrated against the roof of my mouth as the shifter jerked his head in a nod.

  “I can see you.”

  ‘… Interesting.’ Muss spread his wings, and the sparkling essence that made up his body in this realm swept over my skin with familiarity that brought a sigh from my throat. All the while, Derek watched him, and the doctor’s forgotten hands paused their gentle prodding as magic seeped into my flesh. My skin began to knit together instantly, and Muss hopped sideways down to the small of my back to repeat his actions.

  “Thank you, Muss – ” Belatedly, I realized that the doctor couldn’t see Muss, but I discarded the thought and carefully pulled in my limbs to sit up, ignoring his look of astonishment. “Did Kaslni tell you anything?”

  ‘Bareiijnr has requested an audience with her to discuss ‘the blight’, but I do not know anything more. I believe he suspects that you were not working independently as she previously insisted. More than likely, he is going to search for information on your whereabouts to eliminate you.’

  My brows shot up at that, and I raked my hands through my tangled hair before turning to Derek. Surprise wiggled into my chest at how easily he seemed to be following the conversation, and his gaze met mine for a brief moment before he pushed himself off the bed. He waved off the doctor whose mouth had unfrozen, the beginning of a horde of questions sitting on his lips.

  “We obviously need to have a talk about things, Linne.” Derek’s rough voice dribbled with displeasure, and I reached automatically to grasp his hand. He stiffened, face becoming pinched, but he didn’t pull away. My eyes raked down his bare, discolored side, and my mind churned through everything I had learned in the past few minutes.

  “Yes.” Throwing my legs over the side of the bed, I couldn’t help but frown. If Bareiijnr realized that Kaslni sent me to spy on him – to find out if her suspicions were correct – she wasn’t safe. Muss wasn’t her only companion, but he was her most competent. Reaching for the pile of clothes neatly folded on a chair next to my bed, I frowned at the rough fabric even as my mind churned out an explanation.

  Then again, she was very smart – maybe this was all part of a larger scheme of hers to eliminate Bareiijnr and stop his trafficking of wings.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Linne

  Alpha Jackson’s eyelid twitched, the only movement he made as he stared at me so intensely that discomfort slithered through my veins. Leaving the hospital had been much easier this time, but I almost wished I had stayed rather than endure this scrutiny. Reaching slowly to rub his jaw, the large shifter male picked himself up from behind his desk to lean on the front edge.

  “…Let me get this straight – you were banished here from another realm, you retained all of the magic you had there in your wings, and you single-handedly devastated a hundred shifters…and on top of all this you’re Derek’s mate…” Bopping my head in a nod, I wrung my fingers absently as Alpha Jackson grunted. He didn’t sound as confused as I was, but he clearly wasn’t sure what to make of the situation. “Well…that’s certainly not something I’ve ever dealt with before. Also – just so we’re clear – you want me to kill all of the wolves we had to scrape off the field, yes? You won’t just free them from…whatever you did to them?”

  “Yes – no…I – ” Pursing my lips together, I tore my eyes off the Alpha male to stare at the ground. Which question was I supposed to answer first?

  But one of them wasn’t even really a question.

  But it sounded kind of like a question.

  What are mates? Why did Alpha Jackson take all of the bodies? Where was he keeping them? Why does Derek’s touch take the pain away? How does he have such magic?

  “She’s not going to free them, Alpha Jackson – it’s a mercy to kill them. It’ll take them days to die if we just leave them.” Lifting my head as Derek spat the word ‘mercy’ with pure, thick disgust, I sucked in a breath when he lifted his lip to reveal blunt, white human teeth. “Besides, they fucking deserve it – they used human children as bait to try to force us into a confrontation. They’re pitiful, disgusting pieces of shit that don’st deserve to live.”

  “I knew you wouldn’t just advocate for a mercy killing, Derek. Trust me – it’s all I’ve thought about the last two days. It’s true that they did something unforgivable, but I can’t condone the killing of a hundred wolves without consulting their clan leaders. Jordan is alive – I’ll set u
p a meeting, and if he refuses, I’ll unplug them. If he shows up and doesn’t want them back, I’ll unplug them. We just don’t have the resources to deal with what’s going to happen in town…there’s a reason no one else wanted to be here – why the land was such a steal.”

  “I did not know shifters require electricity?” Two, intense pairs of eyes settled on me, and fire licked my cheeks at the warmth that melted the ice of Derek’s eyes. In the silence, blood beat hard and fast in my ears, and he pressed his palm against the small of my back to rub it soothingly.

  “It’s a phrase for when you power down the machines keeping someone alive, Linne.” Humor laced Alpha Jackson’s tone, drawing my gaze to find his lips curled in a slight smile. Ducking my head as I carefully stored that piece of information, I nibbled my bottom lip even as his parted. “Derek will take care of you for now while I sort out this mess. I’ll see you both tonight at the feast.”

  Leaving Alpha Jackson’s office, I picked absently at the loose, white clothes that had been provided for me at the hospital. They were comfortable, if a little scratchy, and Derek had cut the backs open to make slits for my wings just as I did with my own clothes. Lifting my head to stare at him, I rolled my lips between my teeth before speaking up as we walked towards the entrance to the nice office building.

  “Why are you taking care of me? I can take care of myself. I am not injured anymore.” The hand on my back flexed, and Derek glanced over at me with a frown dragging down the corner of his mouth.

  “We need to talk about something.” His explanation really wasn’t an explanation, and I offered him a frown of my own. Exiting the building the same way we came, we started down the sidewalk until he spoke up again. “What do you know about shifters?”

  “You shift…” Trailing off, I furrowed my brows deeply as my mind hit a wall. Everything I knew about shifters, I had learned from the human Chad, but he was less than reliable. “I do not know more than that…”

  “Right…” Tension marred the thin lines around Derek’s mouth, and he reached with his free hand to swipe his chin. “What do you know about relationships, then?”

  Quizzicality widened my pupils at the probe, and I paused my steps to purse my lips together. Crossing my arms over my breasts, I took a shallow breath even as Derek turned to face my fully. Darkness crept up on my mind like a shadow, and my chest tightened as memories assaulted my mind’s eye.

  “I do not want a relationship.” Narrowed eyes met mine, and my wings twitched in agitation at the darkness that flashed across Derek’s face. “I am not allowed – slaves like me are not allowed.”

  “Linne – ” Rough hands cupped my cheeks, and my breath caught in my throat as it tightened. His gaze swirled with grave sincerity, and my heart stuttered in my chest as an uncomfortable sensation fluttered in my abdomen. “You were banished. You’re not a slave anymore.”

  “But – ” Cut off by a thumb against my lips, I couldn’t stifle the gasp that rolled my tongue.

  “No. You’re not a slave anymore. No one can tell you what you can and can’t do.” My eyes widened even as I shook my head slightly, and Derek squeezed my face to draw me closer. Against my ribs, my lungs ached for air, but I couldn’t breathe past the lump in my throat. Gently, he pressed his forehead to mine, he inhaled deeply, suggestively – as if he could sense my struggling.

  The sun beat down on the crown of my head, and the breeze was soft against my skin. No sounds tickled my ears; even natural noises were dampened as the lump that clogged my airways began to dissolve. Slowly taking a breath, I closed my eyes to Derek’s distorted face as my chest pressed against his.

  “Who is he? Your brother?” Mumbling softly, I licked my lips heavily as uncertainty threaded through my veins. “What if I don’t like him? Are relationships in this realm required for social status?”

  “Why would you ask about a brother?” Gruff, low, Derek’s response only pulled a sigh from me, and I shook my head to gyrate our foreheads together. Memories pounded against my mind’s eye – some good, some bad, but all useless in this realm. Even so, I opened my mouth after a second, and he stilled against me.

  “That is why you are taking care of me. So, you can determine if I would be a good wife. I will not meet him until he accepts me… Is it not the same in this realm?” Fluttering open my eyes when Derek didn’t response, I blinked hard only to find him frowning with thin lips and pensive, swirling eyes the color of the ocean during a storm. “It is not the same?”

  “No – it’s not… I am the one that wants you. I don’t have a brother or cousins – or even parents.” Speaking slowly, clearly, Derek’s declaration sent shocks to assault my spine, and I tried to wrench my head away. He still held my face, keeping me in place, and a whimper escaped from behind my pursed lips. “Stop – stop.”

  “No – let me go!” Magic weaved into my blood, the familiar tingling just under my skin causing goosebumps to rise. My wings twitched and fluttered, but Derek didn’t so much as bat an eyelash.

  It doesn’t work on him. The thought hit me hard, and Derek cupped the back of my head and my backside to plaster me to his front. His movement was so quick, I couldn’t break away, and I ground my teeth together and dug my fingernails into his sides. If he felt any pain, he didn’t show it; just like at the battle, he was able to ignore everything but subduing the target.

  “I’m not going to hurt you or force you, Linne.” Murmuring huskily against the crest of my ear, Derek’s announcement froze my muscles, and he released a bare sigh that caressed my shoulder under my shirt. “Just…calm down. I’ll explain everything. Let’s go to your house, okay? You’ll be more comfortable there.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Derek

  Staring intently at Linne as she slowly processed my explanation of mates and relationships in this realm, I pursed my lips to stop the sneer that threatened to overtake my expression. My life had been fairly shitty up until recently, but why would that streak just break all of a sudden?

  The answer was that it wouldn’t – and having a mate from another realm was quickly becoming less ethereal and more annoying.

  Linne’s lower lip puffed out as she thought, and my gaze flickered down to it automatically. For the past two days of her unconsciousness, I’d spent a good majority watching her as she slept and wondering how this would work. She was clearly beyond my league by a fuckton of football fields. For decades, I spent as many waking hours as I could honing my ability to fight; it was my only chance to make something of myself in a clan that was known for its fighters.

  But Linne didn’t need a fighter, and I was at a loss at what to do.

  “I do not understand.” Speaking up to break me from my thoughts, Linne’s gaze met mine from under furrowed brows tight with confusion. “There is no advantage politically to being…m – mates… Why do you want a relationship if there is no advantage?”

  Pursing my lips together, my mind churned almost violently as I tried to find a different way to express my point. I hadn’t talked this much in my entire life, and it was frustrating trying to think of words.

  At least she’s not asking me about my skin.

  That relief wasn’t enjoyable, and she cocked her head in expectancy.

  “I like you.” I have an undeniable urge to fuck you. Linne’s jaw nearly hit the floor at my declaration, and shock painted her face. Her wide eyes sparkled with disbelief, and if that wasn’t such a bad sign, I would’ve found it cute. “I want to be in a relationship with you just because. There’s no reason. I just like you.”

  Goddess – I sounded like an immature teenager, but I just didn’t know how else to put it. I couldn’t tell Linne that the animal part of me wanted to tear into the sweet – smelling well between her thighs. I couldn’t say we had an irresistible attraction to each other that bound us for life. All of my other options implied she had no choice in what would eventually happen, and I didn’t want to destroy what little progress I’d made on that front.

&nb
sp; The truth was, though, that she felt the mate bond – she just couldn’t figure out what it was.

  “But you don’t even know me?” Confusion thickened Linne’s voice, and I nodded firmly as my mind went back to that night.

  “I fought with you – you remember that, right? I know what I need to know for now from fighting with you. I want to know more. That’s why I want to be in a relationship with you.” I sound fucking stupid. Even as the thought blared between my ears, Linne finally started to seem to understand the notion, at least, of everything I was explaining. “Do you understand?”

  ‘Forgive her infantile mind, Derek the Lion.’ Stiffening at the male voice that caressed my brain, I glanced around until my gaze landed on the shimmering, ethereal raven from the hospital. His five eyes bounced between Linne and I, each one moving on its own, as he hopped across the bed and tossed his head to the side. ‘She is not accustomed to this realm yet.’

  “Yes, I am, Muss. I am not used to shifters or relationships.” Defiant embarrassment laced Linne’s voice, and my lip twitched in a smirk as she went red in the face.

  ‘Just accept. You cannot understand everything, Linne. Derek the Lion does have a point – you fought together. That is enough here, in this realm.’ I never would’ve believed that a fucking bird – that wasn’t even real – was helping me get laid, and I licked my teeth behind my lips. Linne burned up to her ears, and she ducked her head to shove her fists in her lap before I opened my mouth.

  “I won’t force you, Linne. I understand that this is hard for you – I get it.” A hacking laughter filled the thin space between my skull and my brain, and I caught Linne’s grateful, beautiful smile through narrowed eyes. Not to say that bending her over wasn’t important, but if she felt like she didn’t have a choice, it’d be rape.