Ghostly Rules

by K. E. O'Connor

  “What?” asked Helen. “You’re not going to turn down cocktails, are you?”

  “I wouldn’t have minded cocktails if it was just the three of us,” I said.

  Helen wrinkled her nose. “Yes, it might not be such a great night now. But it will give us a chance to get to know people and do some digging about Lonnie and everyone’s motives for wanting him dead.”

  “I’m going to take a stab in the dark and say the missing gold has something to do with it.” I looked over to see Lonnie still lurking in the corner of the room. “Lonnie’s been with me all day and made it clear he didn’t think much of Chelsea, so she’d be a good place to start.”

  “Neither does Elita,” said Helen. “Can you believe she stuck by her man after everything he did?”

  “Like you said, she loved him. And she must still to put up with everything going on here.”

  “Come on,” said Helen. “We’d better go get ourselves ready for an evening of sleuthing.”

  I trudged up the stairs with Helen, Flipper trailing along behind me. Even he didn’t seem excited by the thought of free food at tonight’s party.

  We’d only been inside my room for a couple of minutes, figuring out what to wear, when Elita knocked on the door and opened it.

  “Thought you girls might like something to brighten up your outfits.” She handed over two small pink boxes.

  I took mine and pulled off the lid, letting out a gasp as I saw what was inside. A diamond necklace stared back at me. This had grossly expensive sparkling all over it.

  Elita laughed and gestured at Helen. “Your turn now.”

  Helen opened her box and pulled out a diamond choker. “Wow! These are beautiful.”

  “I’ve got more diamonds than I know what to do with,” said Elita. “And these will look beautiful on you. Consider them a loan while you’re here. Just make sure you take care of them. That’s a lot of money to hang around your pretty necks. And whatever you do, don’t let Chelsea anywhere near them. She drools every time she sees me in my diamonds.” Elita flashed us a huge diamond on her ring finger.

  “I’m not sure I can wear this.” I brushed my fingers over the cold diamonds. “I don’t want to risk damaging it.”

  “Impossible. You can’t break a diamond,” said Elita. “And you must wear the necklace. It’s my treat to you, another way of saying thank you for helping me when I made such a mess of myself. I don’t usually fall apart so easily. I let myself down.”

  “You didn’t.” I took out the necklace and held it up, seeing the diamonds sparkle in the bedroom light. “And these are lovely.”

  “Well, I must go sort out my own outfit. I’ll see you girls downstairs soon.” Elita turned and hurried out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind her as she did so.

  “Blimey! Imagine the kind of gifts we’ll get if we do an outstanding job,” said Helen as she tried on the choker and looked at her reflection in the mirror on the dresser.

  “The family is keen on giving you things for doing work for them,” I said. “It’s like they’ve forgotten we get a wage for being here. And I meant to tell you, when Chelsea was in the study with me earlier, she gave me money to keep her informed about what I was doing with Elita and Lonnie’s paperwork.”

  “She wants you to spy on the family?” asked Helen. “You didn’t agree, did you?”

  “I didn’t get a chance to say no,” I said. “She pulled out this enormous bundle of money, thrust it at me, and left. I’m not sure what she’s expecting me to find, but she mentioned gold.”

  “Gold! Is she after the family treasure? The gold Lonnie allegedly pinched?”

  “She must be, although she was deliberately vague about it.”

  “Everyone wants Lonnie’s gold. Can’t say I blame them. A couple of bars would come in handy with all the money we’re spending on our new home.” Helen pulled open my closet and rifled through my clothes. “You should wear your little black dress tonight. It will go perfectly with your new jewels.”

  “I’m afraid to wear my necklace in case I damage it. It must be insured for hundreds of thousands of pounds.”

  “Just make sure you don’t get into any fights,” said Helen. “Then you won’t risk getting it damaged. And you have to wear the necklace or you’ll offend Elita.”

  “I will. I like Elita, but we need to consider her a suspect in Lonnie’s murder.”

  Helen handed me my black dress. “Both the wife and the ex-wife would gain a lot from Lonnie being dead. And they’d both have had easy access to his bathroom. Either of them could have snuck in and thrown the radio into the water. They knew his routine, so they just had to time it right so no one was around when they committed the evil deed.”

  “You don’t think they worked together to get rid of Lonnie?” I shimmied out of my work clothes and into my black dress. “Maybe the two of them hating each other is an act, and they realized that, with Lonnie gone, they could have all his assets. They might have a plan to divide everything between the two of them once the family’s backs are turned.”

  “I’m not so sure,” said Helen. “Their hatred for each other is genuine.”

  I nodded as I zipped myself into my dress and smoothed down the front. “They do despise each other. I don’t think any amount of money would make you that good of an actor.”

  “You only have to watch Robert De Niro in Stardust to know that’s the truth.” Helen shut my closet door. “Tonight will help us decide who’s most likely to have killed Lonnie.”

  “Keep your questioning discreet,” I said. “This family is not to be messed with. And if Gunner discovers anything dubious about them, then we’re out of here, no matter how much Lonnie begs us to stay.”

  “Gunner isn’t going to find out anything,” said Helen. “He’s only going to make fun of us because you asked him to look into them. I bet all he finds are a few parking fines.”

  “Didn’t you hear Elita talking about Lonnie going inside?” I said. “You don’t get six months for a few parking fines.”

  “I bet it was something to do with tax evasion,” said Helen.

  “Yes, they got the Godfather for tax evasion,” I said, “and he was a big-time criminal.”

  “The Cornells are nothing like the Corleones,” said Helen. “Stop putting scary ideas in my head. I need to go get ready. I’m looking forward to cocktail hour.”

  Helen left me on my own, and I freshened my make up before finding a pair of suitable black shoes to go with my dress and diamonds, although everything I owned looked shabby next to the jewels.

  An hour later, I was standing outside the dining room door with Helen and Flipper. Helen looked fabulous in a scarlet dress, her blonde curls floating around her face and her red lips perfectly painted. Even Flipper looked smart. I’d brushed his fur and tied a jaunty red and white spotted neckerchief around his throat.

  “Are you ready?” I asked, feeling a flutter of nerves in my stomach.

  “Let’s go catch ourselves a killer.” Helen pushed open the door.

  The dining room was already set up for the party, and servers were bustling around with trays of food, placing them on the table, along with drinks, plates, and cutlery. It looked like Elita had been serious about getting Italian food. There were several covered silver dishes, and I could smell the rich tang of basil and tomato in the air.

  As we walked into the room, I almost ran into a waiter with a plate piled high with calzones.

  “Over here, girls.” Elita was on the other side of the room with a large pink cocktail in one hand. “You look fabulous. And the diamonds are perfect.” She air kissed us both.

  “Thanks for these.” My fingers touched the jewels around my neck.

  “Now, you both need a huge cocktail. And you must start with a Mojito Special.” Elita gestured to Michael, who stepped forward from his rigid position by the wall next to Elita.

  “Michael, get these girls two strong Mojito Specials. Plenty of ice and make sure they have an um
brella.” She grinned at us. “I love my drinks to have all the trimmings. Makes them extra fun.”

  Michael nodded and turned away without a word.

  “You’ve got him well-trained,” said Helen.

  “Michael is a sweetie,” said Elita. “He’s like a silent, solid rock. You can rely on him for anything.”

  “Did he used to work for Lonnie?” I asked, watching as the serving staff gave Michael a wide berth as he walked across the room.

  “He did,” said Elita. “You could call him Lonnie’s muscle. Lonnie was never much for getting his hands dirty, unless he had a personal point to prove. He needed an enforcer, someone who would strike fear in anyone’s heart if they decided to make the mistake of crossing the family. And that enforcer was Michael. I don’t use him for that, now. He’s my personal bodyguard, and I feel safe when he’s nearby.”

  I looked around the room, thinking I was on the set of some mobster movie. I spotted Chelsea and Ignatius enter the dining room, closely followed by two sunglass wearing bouncer types, one of whom was Hog.

  Elita laughed. “I didn’t mean to shock you into silence. We aren’t all bad. Not anymore, anyway. Lonnie just liked doing things the old-fashioned way. Even though he mellowed as he got older, he stuck to a certain code of conduct.”

  Michael returned with two pink drinks, complete with umbrella and pineapple garnishes, and handed them to Helen and me.

  “Get yourself one, as well,” said Elita to Michael.

  “I’m more of a whiskey man.” Michael gave a small smile.

  “You must enjoy yourself tonight,” said Elita. “We’ve all been under stress. Now Lonnie has gone, things have to change. No more drama in the family.”

  “Whatever you say.” Michael backed away before turning and moving to the opposite side of the room, his hands in fists as he did so.

  Elita sighed as she watched him. “There goes a man who needs to relax. I can’t remember the last time Lonnie gave him time off. Stress is a killer. If the bullets don’t get you, the stress will.”

  I opened my mouth but had nothing to add to that strange comment.

  Elita smiled at me. “Anyway, what about you girls? Are you looking for men or are you both single?”

  “Lorna’s disgustingly in love with a gardener,” said Helen.

  “That’s lovely. It’s nice to have a man who knows what to do with his hands.” Elita winked at me. “What about you, Helen? Don’t tell me no one has snapped you up.”

  “Helen’s disgustingly single.” I grinned wickedly at her. “But she is looking for love.”

  “I have just the solution for that, an eligible bachelor you might like. He’s mature and wealthy.”

  “Helen likes older guys,” I said.

  Elita looked around the room, and her eyes brightened. “Ignatius, come here and chat to Helen.”

  Helen’s jaw dropped, and she snapped it shut as a squat, heavyset man with cropped hair and stubble looked over. He had gold chains on his wrist and around his neck.

  “That’s okay. You don’t need to do any matchmaking for me,” said Helen.

  “Nonsense. I’m happy to help,” said Elita. She beckoned Ignatius over. He approached slowly, his dark eyes narrowed. “And don’t worry about him. He seems a little rough around the edges, but he has his priorities right and puts the family first. And he’s loyal. You can’t do better than that.”

  Helen shot me a pleading look, but I could do nothing but smile and sip my drink. This should be interesting. Helen did like older guys, but this was Lonnie’s brother, and he gave off the same air of menace as the rest of the family.

  Elita caught hold of Ignatius’s elbow and moved him so he stood next to Helen. “Are you enjoying our little gathering?”

  Ignatius looked around. “Not many here.”

  “It’s early,” said Elita. “My cousins should be here in the next half hour. And it is an impromptu get together, so it will be small and intimate. I thought it would be fun.”

  Ignatius shrugged. “My brother always enjoyed a party.”

  “Don’t you think Helen is looking lovely tonight?” asked Elita.

  Ignatius glanced at Helen, and his gaze ran over her. “I like your diamonds.”

  “They’re on loan,” squeaked Helen, her hands clasping her glass.

  “They make her blue eyes sparkle,” said Elita. “And Helen was just telling me she’s single. Can you imagine such a pretty girl being without a man?”

  Ignatius took a sip of his whiskey. “Some women can be too independent for their own good. It puts a man off.”

  “Don’t be a tease,” said Elita. “Helen is a thoroughly modern woman. We’re allowed to have jobs now if we choose to.”

  “I wouldn’t want any woman of mine working,” said Ignatius. “You never know where they are when they go out to work.”

  “I expect your girlfriends have all gotten jobs to get away from your controlling nature,” said Helen.

  “Oh, no!” said Elita. “Ignatius is just protective. It’s a good quality to have. It shows he cares.”

  “I’d rather my husband trusted me enough to go out to work, without thinking I was getting into mischief,” said Helen.

  “Cornell women don’t work,” said Ignatius. “There’s no need.”

  Elita placed a hand on Ignatius’s arm. “Those values might seem old-fashioned, but they’ve worked well for us. Our men have always been the providers.”

  I took a sip of my drink. More like controlling idiots who weren’t smart enough to deserve anyone.

  “Which is fine until they leave you.” Chelsea strolled over, wearing a green tube dress, a cat-like smirk on her face. “You’ve spent your valuable years becoming a pampered useless bag of silicone-filled fakeness. What is it you spend your time doing now you’re a middle-aged ex-wife, Elita?”

  Elita scowled. “I’m looking after Lonnie’s estate. Nobody else wants to take an interest, and I refuse to let it be ruined by those more interested in dividing up his assets than keeping the family honor intact.”

  “I would be involved if I hadn’t been elbowed out of the way,” said Chelsea. “And have you told me yet when you’re moving out? I fancy a good bonfire and can use your raggedy clothes as fuel.”

  “I’ll stay as long as I choose to,” said Elita. “You know that’s what Lonnie would have wanted.”

  Chelsea shook her head. “This is a marital home, not a place for worn out old nags.”

  Everyone inhaled at the same time, just waiting for the fighting to begin.

  “Why are you even here?” asked Elita, her tone even. “I don’t remember issuing you an invitation to come to drinks.”

  “Ignatius told me you were having a little last-minute gathering, and I assumed my invitation had been lost.” Chelsea’s gaze shifted to me. “How are you enjoying working for Elita?”

  “Very much,” I said, as I remembered the money Chelsea had tried to bribe me with.

  “Lorna and Helen are fitting in well,” said Elita. “Don’t try poisoning their minds against me.”

  Chelsea gave me an exaggerated wink. “It’s important I get to know my new members of staff.”

  “You’re paying their wages?” spat Elita.

  “Lonnie’s money is, so therefore, I must be,” said Chelsea. “After all, I am his actual wife.”

  Ignatius cleared his throat. “Ladies, isn’t this supposed to be an evening where we enjoy ourselves?”

  “It should be,” said Elita. “But Miss Botox Forehead always likes to spoil things.”

  “It’s Mrs. Botox Forehead to you.” Chelsea flashed her wedding ring at Elita.

  I hid my smile behind my giant pink drink. So far, everyone was acting in their usual crazy way. This evening could be interesting or horribly stressful if my tense shoulders were any indication of how things would turn out.

  “Chelsea, go see where Carson has got to,” said Ignatius. “He said he’d be joining us.”

  “He’s
big enough and ugly enough to look after himself,” said Chelsea.

  “It’s not polite when people arrive late to a family gathering,” said Ignatius. “Be a good girl.”

  Chelsea glared at Ignatius. “Go find him yourself.” She turned on her overly high heels and strutted away.

  “Thank you, Ignatius,” said Elita. “Chelsea must have been raised by wolves. She has no concept of good manners or decorum.” She sucked the cherry off the end of her drink’s umbrella.

  “Chelsea has her good points.” Ignatius’s eyes were glued to Chelsea’s backside as it wobbled under the tight fabric of her dress.

  “Typical man,” muttered Helen.

  “I enjoy a good looking woman.” Ignatius tore his gaze from Chelsea’s curves.

  “Well, you can keep your eyes off my curves,” said Helen. “I’m spoken for.”

  “I thought you were looking for love,” said Elita.

  “I have someone interested in me,” said Helen. “I’m deciding if he’s the right one. I’ve wasted too many dates and too many kisses on losers. The next man I date I intend to marry.”

  I looked at Helen in surprise. Was she referring to Gunner? Every time I tried to get her to open up about him she insisted he was nothing more than an annoyance. But she had marriage in mind when she looked at him! No wonder she was struggling to make up her mind.

  “Tell me everything about this man.” Elita’s eyes sparkled. “I do enjoy a good love story. Why do you think he’s not the one for you?”

  “He’s a bit of a tease,” said Helen, shooting me a narrowed eyed look, as if daring me to say anything. “And he always jokes around. He can’t be serious for more than a few minutes.”

  “Some men are like that,” said Elita. “It takes a good woman by their side to make them grow up and give them something to fight for.”

  “And his work takes him away,” said Helen. “He’s a busy man. He might not have enough time for me. I don’t want to end up home on my own all the time, wondering if he’s okay.”

  “What does he do?” asked Elita. “He’s not in the army, is he? They send our boys away for months on end. It must drive their wives crazy not knowing where they are or even if they’re safe.”