by Paula Kay
“I love your convertible,” Lia said.
“Thank you. It was a gift from my parents.” God. Was that a weird thing to say? Arianna glanced at Lia, who didn’t seem bothered by the statement. Arianna didn’t mention the fact that it was actually the third car that her father had bought her after she’d wrecked the other two during her crazier high school days. She’d really grown up since then.
“Let me know if it’s too much with the top down. I can easily put it up.” Arianna said after she’d been driving for about five minutes. She didn’t want to talk more right now, though. She was just enjoying that they were sitting beside one another in the car…in the silence. It felt nice. It felt oddly right to her.
“No, bell—Arianna.” Lia caught herself at the term of endearment that slipped easily from her mouth. “This is nice. I’ve never actually ridden in a convertible before.”
“You can call me Ari if you like.” They were at a stoplight and Arianna looked over at Lia. “All my friends call me Ari.” She smiled and then added. “And Gigi calls me bella all the time. I don’t mind.” She felt suddenly shy, but oddly her world seemed a bit more right all of a sudden. She took a deep breath and glanced at her reflection in the rearview mirror. Everything was going to be okay. Today was a good day. Today was a great day, and now she knew her mother.
Chapter 12
Arianna let Lia out on 19th Avenue after trying to convince her to let her drive her home. After a slightly awkward moment, Lia quickly kissed Arianna on both cheeks and promised to text her with the address to her place for Monday night. They waved goodbye and then Arianna was left alone with her thoughts as she drove the ten minutes to Blu’s apartment.
She was oddly calm and feeling quite elated after the day she’d had with Lia. Not at all what she’d expected. She didn’t know if it was everything that was going on in her life, her sessions with Doc, or if she was really just becoming a new person, but she found her walls coming down much faster with Lia than was typical for her. She didn’t quite know why. Well, if she was being honest with herself she could guess the reason. But she wanted to let Lia into her life.
Now the question was, how much time would there be before she left on this trip? Arianna sighed. Was it possible that she was meant to stay here? Not do the trip? She’d talk about it with Doc the next time she saw her. Then she really needed to make a decision and buy the ticket.
Arianna pulled up to Blu’s, scoring a great parking spot, and realizing that she’d not even texted her to let her know that she was on her way. They’d had loose plans but normally she was more polite about showing up on Blu’s doorstep unannounced. Arianna smiled, anxious to tell Blu all about Lia.
She reached for her phone to text her and then decided to just ring the doorbell. Blu wouldn’t mind. After the third ring of the doorbell, Arianna heard the fast patter of Jemma’s feet on the other side of the door. “Who’s there?” said a sweet little voice.
“It’s your favorite person in the whole wide world,” Arianna shouted through the door. “Next to your amazing mommy, I mean.”
Jemma giggled as she opened the door for Arianna.
“Hey, J-bean. Good job asking who it is first.” She placed her bag down on the table and scooped Jemma up in her arms. “How’s my favorite little jelly bean doing?”
Jemma giggled in delight. “What flavor am I, Ari?”
“What’s your favorite flavor this week?” Arianna asked.
“Watermelon.”
“Watermelon it is. And you taste delicious.”
Jemma giggled even harder as Arianna covered her neck with kisses. “You’re squeezing me too tight. Put me down.” The little girl laughed and took her by the hand. “I made a picture for you.” Jemma pulled her into the living room, where it looked like she’d been coloring right before Arianna had arrived.
Blu looked up from the small table in the corner. “She’s been working on that masterpiece all morning, I’ll have you know.” She rose to give Arianna a quick hug. “How’d it go? I’m dying to know. And by the pleased look on your face, I’m guessing you have lots to tell me.”
Arianna nodded as she gave Blu a quick hug before sitting down on the sofa to admire Jemma’s artwork. “It went so well, Blu. I can’t wait to tell you about her.”
“Let’s give munchkin here a few minutes and then I’ll send her to her room so we can talk.” Blu whispered over Jemma’s head. “I’m just finishing up with some bills here.” She sighed and made a face.
“Mommy, I wanna stay with Ari,” Jemma whined.
Blu laughed. “Ari’s gonna stay for dinner, I think.”
Arianna nodded to Blu behind Jemma.
“So maybe color one more picture with her and then you can let the grown-ups talk for a few minutes, okay?” Blu said.
Jemma turned to look Arianna in the eyes, putting her sweet little hands on either side of Arianna’s face. “Ari, are you going to stay for dinner?”
Arianna put her hands on Jemma’s little face, saying “J-bean, I’d be delighted. On one condition.”
“What’s a condition?” Jemma said with a perplexed look on her face.
Arianna laughed. “It means that I’ll stay for dinner if you do something.”
“Okay, what do you want me to do? Color another picture?” Jemma looked up with a hopeful look on her face.
“Well, yes. I would like another picture. That goes without saying, because you know how much I admire your artwork.” The refrigerator at Arianna’s house was plastered with drawings that Jemma had given her. She nuzzled Jemma’s neck with a quick kiss. “I want to know if you will sit by me during dinner, silly. That’s the condition I offer to you.”
“Sure, Ari. I’ll even sit on your lap if you want me to.” Jemma grinned. “Easy peasy.” Arianna and Blu laughed simultaneously.
“Her new favorite expression,” Blu said.
Arianna and Jemma colored a picture together while Blu finished paying her bills.
“Okay, baby girl, why don’t you take your coloring book into your room for a little while so Mommy and Ari can talk about grown-up stuff,” Blu said as she held out her hand to Jemma.
“But not for too long, okay, Mommy?”
Arianna watched them head off into Jemma’s small bedroom with a lump in her throat. The two of them were so amazing together. She thought Blu was a wonderful mother, if not just a tad overprotective. But she didn’t ever question Blu about her parenting. She knew that it had been the two of them ever since Jemma was born. Actually Blu didn’t talk about Jemma’s father at all. It was one of those topics that were off limits. And Arianna had always respected that. After all, she knew what it was to have secrets. She had only opened up to Blu since the accident and—well, it was really only after her breakdown. It was Doc who had taught her so much about trust and opening up to people. She figured that if she couldn’t trust Blu, who she knew cared about her maybe more than anyone in her life right now, then who could she trust?
But it wasn’t the same for Blu. Arianna didn’t push her. She only knew that Blu had had a difficult childhood. As much as her own childhood had revolved around private schools and fancy vacations, Blu had grown up living in poverty with a mother that was an alcoholic. That much Arianna did know. And she didn’t press for more.
“Okay then, she’s settled for—oh—a good ten minutes. That’s if we’re lucky.” Blu said as she passed Arianna on her way into the small kitchen. “Can I get you a glass of wine? I’m dying for one myself. Paying bills seems to have that effect on me.” She laughed.
“Yes, please. That sounds great. Sorry, I should have picked something up on my way. I was so distracted.”
“Oh, no worries, it’s actually one of the bottles that you brought over last week. Thank you very much for keeping my wine selection full.” Blu laughed. “Now, tell me everything. I can’t wait to hear all about Lia and how your meeting went.” Blu handed Arianna the glass of wine and settled herself into the worn but comfy
chair across from where Arianna sat in the living room.
“Oh, Blu. I can’t believe how great it went. I mean, I was trying not to have any expectations. Well, I kind of did after our initial phone conversation, but then I just decided to try hard to be in the moment.”
Blu raised an eyebrow. “Who is this person in front of me and what have you done with my slightly neurotic, yet lovely best friend?”
Arianna laughed in response to Blu’s joke. “Okay, okay. So I know I’m not the most zen person, but honestly, Doc is really helping me with that. I guess I’ve finally realized that there is so little in my life I can control right now, you know?”
“Yep, I do know that, and I think you are amazing.” Blu got that funny look on her face that Arianna knew to mean that there was so much more that she wanted to say but she was trying to keep from doing so.
“But?” said Arianna.
“No buts. You’re amazing. Period. Now go on, please.” Blu smiled.
“Okay. So I walked into the restaurant and recognized her right away. And—by recognized I mean that she looked almost exactly like what I would picture my mother—uh, Lia to look like. Blu, I really look like her. I mean, as in a lot.” Arianna said this as if she still couldn’t quite believe it.
“That’s pretty amazing. And what happened when you first spoke? What did she say to you? I can’t even imagine how nervous you both must have been.”
“It was a little awkward at the beginning. I went up to her and basically stuck out my hand and said hello.” Arianna laughed as she recounted this to Blu.
“She kept staring at me and telling me that she thought I was beautiful.” Arianna’s eyes started to well with tears. My mother thinks I’m beautiful. The emotions that came with this thought all at once surprised and overcame Arianna, and before she knew it tears were flowing down her face to the accompaniment of big gulping sobs.
Her mother. The mother who had raised her had never once called her beautiful.
Blu grabbed a box of tissues from the nearby table and moved quickly beside her best friend on the sofa, pulling Arianna to her in a big hug. “Oh, sweetie. You are beautiful. And how amazing that you got to hear that from your mother—”
Arianna managed a laugh amidst her sobs. “Oh God. It’s not that. Really. You don’t need to tell me how gorgeous I am.” She knocked Blu playfully on the arm. “I don’t know what is making me cry right now exactly. It’s just all so overwhelming. Not in a bad way, though. Does that make sense?”
“Yes. And what I was gonna say before you practically knocked me out”—Blu got this exaggerated look of annoyance on her face—“was that soon she’d see how much your inside matches your outside. Okay, that sounds corny now, but you know what I mean. Not everyone knows you as the amazing person that I know you to be. That’s all. And I know that’s important to you. Now maybe more than ever.” Blu’s voice got quieter and she seemed to be wrestling with her own emotions as she continued.
“Okay, okay. Let’s have a deep breath and a drink of our wine so I can get through telling you the rest of this without busting into tears every five minutes. I don’t think my heart can take it.” Arianna laughed.
Blu crossed back over to sit in her own chair, lifting her glass towards Arianna. “To you, my friend. And to being open to what life has for you right now.”
Arianna lifted her glass in agreement and added, “And to Lia—my mother.”
The two women spent the next twenty minutes with Arianna recounting the rest of her visit with Lia to Blu. By the end of it all, Arianna was left with even more of a sense of peace about everything than she’d had when she had begun filling Blu in on the details. Her friend’s reaction was affirming. It did seem as if Lia had come into her life because she truly wanted a chance to get to know her daughter. Arianna believed that and Blu, although still a bit skeptical, accepted the fact that she was going into this new relationship with her eyes wide open.
“And I’ll want you to meet her, of course. After I’ve spent a bit more time with her. You will, won’t you?” Arianna said.
“Meet who, Ari?” Jemma had snuck back into the living room, after being quite the team player for giving Blu and Arianna the chunk of time that they’d had to discuss Lia and the day’s events.
“Jemma, it’s not polite to eavesdrop.” Blu looked at Jemma with a stern expression.
“Mommy I don’t even know what leaves drop means,” Jemma said with an expression of utter cuteness on her face.
Arianna and Blu burst into laughter. Arianna reached out to grab Jemma in a big squeeze. “I just have a new friend that I want your mommy to meet, that’s all. And you too, probably. If you’ll stop being such a little spy with your leaves dropping.”
“I don’t know what you and Mommy are talking about, but I’m hungry,” Jemma said with a giggle and rub of her tummy to signify a dire need for food.
“Okay then. Who’s ready to order some pizza?” Blu said.
Arianna spent the rest of the evening with Blu and Jemma, having the privilege of tucking the little girl in with a sweet bedtime story before she said goodnight to Blu, letting her know what time she’d be picking them up the next day for their flight to San Diego.
Arianna needed to phone Douglas. He was going to be pleased to hear about her meeting with Lia. At least she thought that he would be. Arianna thought that she might eventually like for him to meet Lia too. Her little circle of people. Blu and Jemma. Douglas and of course Gigi. Maybe she’d organize something at her house next week.
Stop getting ahead of yourself, Ari. Let’s see how Monday night goes first.
Oddly enough, when she thought about seeing Lia again on Monday, she had none of the anxious feelings that she’d had before meeting her. Arianna was surprised that all she felt was excitement about the possibility of getting to know this person better. Of getting to know her mother better. Just breathe and let it be. And she did take a deep breath and tried to enjoy her drive back to her home.
It was dark, and as she drove across the bridge she looked out towards the city lights, wondering what her mother was doing in her apartment right then. She wondered if she’d made many friends since arriving in the area or if she preferred to spend quiet nights at home alone with the TV or a good book. Arianna wondered if Lia had a love for writing or if maybe she also kept a journal to record her thoughts. So many questions. There’d be time to ask them all, or at least the ones that mattered.
Chapter 13
Arianna had the driver pull up in front of Blu’s apartment. She could hear Jemma’s excited squeals as she went to ring the doorbell.
“Ariiiiiii.”
“Open the door, J-bean.” Arianna laughed.
The door opened and her favorite little face peeked out.
“Let me see you. Why are you hiding?” The child was always playful and most often in a good mood, and Arianna loved that about her. It was hard to be sad for long when in the presence of the six-year-old bundle of energy.
“Look what Mommy made me.” Jemma threw the door open wide, revealing her ensemble—the new black leotard and tutu that Arianna had seen a few days earlier. Jemma twirled a few times and looked up at her with an expectation of approval.
“Ooh, you look lovely.” Arianna said, scooping her up for a big hug as she glimpsed Blu struggling in the small hallway with an oversized suitcase. Arianna put Jemma down. “Let me help Mommy with her bags, and then we’re going to go to the airport. Are you excited about flying?” Arianna knew that this would be Jemma’s first flight, and she prayed that the small plane wouldn’t have any turbulence to deal with.
She felt slightly shocked as she realized that she’d not thought about the fact that this was the first time she’d be flying since her parents’ accident. She was used to taking the small charter planes south to their beach house. They’d been doing it ever since she was a little girl, but she hadn’t taken the time to think about how it would feel to be in the small plane, so similar to the o
ne that had gone down with her parents just a few months ago. She looked at the excited face of Jemma and knew that she’d be able to deal with it.
The ride to the airport went smoothly, as there was little traffic at this time of day; and before long they were at the airport, meeting with the pilot that she’d hired. Once everyone was situated in their seats, Arianna looked over to where Jemma had her little face squished to the window, peering out in anticipation.
“When are we going to fly?” she asked Blu.
“Soon. Here, Jemma. Have a piece of gum to chew,” Blu said, handing her her favorite bubble-gum flavor, one that she only allowed the child to have for very special occasions.
Jemma took the gum with wide eyes. “I’m allowed to have gum today, Mommy?” she said with a big smile.
“Yes. It’s a special-occasion day. Jemma’s first time flying in an airplane. And also it’s good for your ears when we are going up into the air, so be sure to chew fast, okay?”
“You got it,” Jemma said with a happy grin as she began chewing the stick of gum.
The flight attendant stood beside them, introducing herself and explaining the safety procedure to them before they were ready to take off. Once they had leveled off in the air she came back to bring them drinks and a snack, taking special care to give Jemma a treat and a fun airplane pin, which Jemma promptly had Blu pin to the bright blue swatch of color around her tutu. “The blue is the sky, Mommy,” she said with a big grin.
“Jemma, how are you doing over there? Can you see the clouds now?” Arianna asked from across the aisle, feeling a little less stressed after she’d closed her eyes and did some of the deep breathing exercises that Doc had taught her to do when she was feeling overwhelmed.
“Yes. I can. We’re up so high, Ari. In the clouds. It’s pretty.”
Arianna was happy to be giving Jemma this experience. She smiled to herself as she thought about the little girl who had come to mean so much to her. She had a whole list of things that she wanted to do for Jemma. But she’d have to go over all that with Blu one of these days. She knew that in the end Blu would finally accept some gifts from her. She’d just have to spend the right amount of time positioning them in the right way. She could think of almost nothing she’d rather do with her money—well, aside from her own upcoming big trip, but even that was hardly touching the vast amount of wealth her parents had left her. Yes, there was plenty of money to be shared. It was one thing Arianna had come to know for sure as the last few months passed.