by Paula Kay
“It’s true. Yes,” Lia said, wondering how little she could actually get away with not telling him right now. “The restaurant is mine—well, Carlo is still helping me to run everything, but I’m the official new owner of the place.” She couldn’t help but smile as she delivered the news, memories flashing that she’d long forgotten.
As if reading her mind, Antonio reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, whispering in a voice that Lia remembered all too well. “It was always your dream, bella. To cook. To have a restaurant. I am not surprised to see it has happened. I am only surprised that time finds us both here together now.”
Lia was overcome by emotion. If it had been just any Italian man sitting in front of her, holding her hand and touching her hair, she would have been skeptical to say the least. But it was different with Antonio, and after one touch from him she was well aware of the genuine attraction between them. There had been real feelings of love all those years ago. She had never doubted it, and the intensity of their encounter now only strengthened all that she had once felt for this boy—man now—sitting before her.
She carefully took her hand away from his, trying not to make it too obvious but guessing that he could sense her discomfort. “It’s strange after all this time. Seeing you. I’ve imagined it, but that was so long ago.” She surprised herself with the honestly of what she was revealing, wondering if she could take it back. If she could easily send him away now. She doubted her resolve would hold for long.
“It is not strange to me.” He winked at her. “It is how I imagined it many times.” He reached for her hand again, his persistence testing her resolve. “When can I see you? Away from work?”
Lia couldn’t seem to find the words to reply to his innocent question. She’d make a plan with him and then tell him everything the very next time she saw him.
Antonio was speaking to her again, and she had to ask him to repeat himself, as she was lost in her own panicked thoughts. “Can I see you tonight? Or tomorrow? In the morning? As soon as possible.” He laughed, and Lia couldn’t help but to join in at his silliness. “The time cannot come fast enough for me. We have so much to catch up on.”
Lia took a deep breath, hoping that it was at least a bit discreet. “How about tomorrow morning? At the cafe just down the street. We can have a coffee before I come in to work.”
“Si, I will meet you there at ten o’clock. And I will count the minutes until then.”
God, had he always been such a charmer. But she was enjoying his teasing looks and conversation. “Yes, that sounds lovely. I will look forward to it also.” But inside she knew that she’d be terrified and dreading every minute because of the conversation that she needed to have with him.
They both stood and he pulled her to him in a big hug. Her body relaxed against his chest and once again she was shocked at the ease of being near him. They said goodbye, and Lia walked back into the kitchen feeling a little dazed.
Within minutes, Sofia was beside her, full of questions and grinning widely. Lia shooed her out of the kitchen, laughing and telling her to get back to work. That they’d talk later. She really needed a minute to collect her thoughts. She’d speak with Carlo about taking the night off, and she definitely needed to have a conversation with Rebecca. She had a feeling that Rebecca might be well aware that Antonio had planned to see her, and she’d be wondering about the outcome.
She finished a few other things in the kitchen and then took off for the rest of the night, calling Rebecca as she walked the few short blocks back to the inn.
The conversation was not surprising to her new friend. Yes, she’d known just that morning of Antonio’s plans to see her, and was dying to know how everything had gone. Lia filled her in on their coffee plan for the next day, adding that she fully intended to tell him everything, and then that would be the end of it. Even as she was speaking to Rebecca, her heart sunk. She knew that when she told him, it was going to be bad. It would be over before anything ever even had a chance to start—and she thought that she was pretty clearly reading obvious signs of interest from him during their very brief meeting today. That would change, though. She sighed. She was sure of it. And better to do it sooner rather than later, or there would be even more for him to cope with.
Lia hung up with Rebecca, vowing to herself to put all thoughts of Antonio out of her head. There was no use wondering about him—about them. She just had to keep moving forward with her plan to be honest and to get it over with. She’d been carrying the secrets for too many years. A part of her suspected that telling Antonio about the past might just be one of those big pieces of the puzzle that she needed to fit to be able to move on in her own grief. And guilt, she thought. If she could ever have a day without feeling guilty, it would be worthy of the biggest celebration.
She walked back to the inn and decided not to mention anything to Elena or anyone there about Antonio. It was a small place, and she suspected that Elena and Franco would know of Antonio’s family.
Dinner was quiet that night, and Lia excused herself straight after with the excuse of how tired she was after a long day at work. She was feeling pretty exhausted, more emotionally than anything else, but she knew a good night’s sleep would do her some good. She wanted to get up early to be sure she had time for a nice walk before her meeting with Antonio. The fresh air always seemed to help her to collect her thoughts, and she had a lot to formulate in her head for this conversation. Even the thought of it, as she lay in her bed, was causing her stomach to knot, and a huge amount of fear threatened to overtake her. Maybe she’d cancel in the morning, but even as she had the thought before drifting off to sleep, she knew that it would be silly to do so. She didn’t need to prolong the inevitable. She needed to just get it done. Like ripping off a band-aid.
Chapter 16
Lia did wake early the next day, feeling surprisingly rested and clearheaded as she made her way to the dining room for one cup of coffee before the morning walk she had promised herself the night before. The early morning was bright and had just a slight chill, perfect and just the way she preferred it for her walk, which had become somewhat of a habit for her as of lately.
Lia came home with a resolve about the conversation that she would have with Antonio that morning. She carefully dressed in jeans and a crisp white t-shirt and headed early to the cafe where they were meeting. She wanted to have a moment to sit and relax before Antonio got there.
As she walked up to the door of the cafe, her heart lurched. Antonio was already seated inside, waving to her with a big smile when he saw her. He rose to greet her with a kiss on each cheek. “Buongiorno, Lia. I could not wait to see you this morning.”
Lia smiled, noting to herself how infectious his smile and happy attitude were. She didn’t remember him being quite so charming, but the years had been good to him, both with looks and his charming personality.
“Good morning, Antonio. It’s good to see you.” Lia meant it, and felt her resolve lessoning just a bit.
They ordered coffee, and before she knew it an hour had passed during their easy conversation. Lia looked at her watch. “I think I must get to work now. I don’t want to leave Carlo on his own for the lunch preparation. It was good to catch up with you, Antonio.” She smiled, but her stomach was in knots because she’d failed to tell him anything real about the last years of her life. Anything that really mattered.
“Can I see you again? Will you give me your phone number?” Antonio had pulled out his phone and was ready to input the data.
Lia gave him her number by reflex, then wondered why she had done so. She’d agree to see him one more time and that would be it. She would tell him the next time she saw him. And suddenly she was agreeing to the date.
They would meet tomorrow night at another restaurant down the street. Antonio hugged her goodbye and promised to phone her the next day to confirm the time for their dinner.
Lia left the cafe feeling confused by her emotions. Why was it so hard to put th
oughts of Antonio out of her head? She’d played the scene of seeing him so many times before in her mind; the shock of how she actually felt when she was near him seemed to be breaking any resolve to end it before it even began. But she knew what she had to do.
All day at the restaurant, she found her thoughts turning to Antonio, and it was difficult to concentrate. A new sort of dread had overcome her; she felt her heart growing heavy again with where she found herself at this juncture in her life. With it came the same feelings of loss about Arianna, as if she were having to deal with it all all over again. Lia sighed and let herself fall into the depression that she knew so well by now. She tried to make it through the whole day at the restaurant, but when she saw Carlo looking at her intently she decided to take the rest of the day off.
Lia went back and forth the next day about her date with Antonio. She just wasn’t feeling up to it. She couldn’t do it. She wouldn’t go. She’d have to just deal with it another day when she was feeling stronger.
She had gotten a phone call from Gigi that she and Douglas were going to stop by the day after tomorrow upon arriving in Italy. They were to travel for several weeks before they’d come back for the big party that Lia had planned. They were headed down south to visit Gigi’s family, but they wanted to see Lia first and were anxious to hear how things were going.
Lia had booked them a night at the inn, and now she was feeling slightly overwhelmed about their arrival even though she was desperate to see Gigi and catch up with her friend. She missed her and she really wanted to try to pull herself together. There was a lot to be done, with Blu and Jemma arriving in a few weeks and the party that needed to be arranged.
Lia hated to stand Antonio up, but she hadn’t gotten his phone number, and she made the decision that it was for the best. She’d deal with the fact that he’d probably turn up at the restaurant again later. When the time had reached twenty minutes past the agreed restaurant meeting, Lia’s phone rang.
She took a deep breath as she clicked the phone to take the call.
“Hello. Antonio?” She knew that it was him.
“Lia, is everything okay? I thought maybe our communications got crossed. I’m at the restaurant now.”
Lia’s heart lurched in her chest as she inhaled deeply. God, why was she so nervous?
“Antonio, I’m sorry to do this to you but I can’t make it.”
“Is everything okay?”
He sounded genuinely concerned, which made her next words all the more difficult.
“I can’t see you right now, Antonio. It’s too hard for me. With the restaurant, with everything. There’s just so much going on.”
Even to her own ear, the words sounded ridiculous.
The phone was silent on the other end and Lia tried to imagine his expression.
“I don’t understand.” He paused. “I thought we had such a good time yesterday morning. I was really looking forward to seeing you again.”
“I know. Yes, yesterday was nice and easy and, well, there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, Antonio.” She couldn’t take the words back now.
“Yes, it’s why I want to spend more time with you.” She could almost see the smile that she imagined on his face.
“I just can’t, Antonio. Please understand. I have your number now, so maybe I can call you another time. We will do it again. I promise.” I have to, she thought.
“Goodbye.” She clicked the phone off without waiting for his reply.
God, she’d be lucky if he even gave her a chance after that call. She had been so rude he’d probably not want to see her at all. Maybe she’d blown the chance to even be able to talk to him again, and for a minute it was what she wanted. But she knew that was cowardly. Now that she and Antonio were physically in the same place she owed it to him to tell him about the past. About Arianna. It had to be done at some point. And soon.
Chapter 17
Lia and Carlo had become quite the team in the kitchen. She was feeling pretty focused and trying not to let her emotions get the better of her. She was both excited and slightly nervous, because Gigi and Douglas were arriving in the evening. She’d take the night off at the restaurant, and she and Elena had put together a fun menu for dinner. She heard her phone buzz from across the kitchen, her heart sinking but knowing she should check it in case it was Gigi.
As she suspected, it was another call from Antonio. He’d been calling her ever since their last short conversation on the phone. So far, she’d not gotten up the nerve to answer, but she knew that if she didn’t, it was only a matter of time before he’d show up again at the restaurant—which probably wouldn’t go well.
Lia sighed. She would have to address him sooner or later, and she did feel incredibly rude in the way she’d ended their last phone conversation. She’d not worry about it just now, with company coming and so much to do at the restaurant; it would just have to wait until a better time.
The afternoon passed uneventfully, and Lia said goodbye to Carlo and Sofia as she headed out the door early to be back at the inn in time to greet Gigi and Douglas. She could hardly believe that they were actually going to be there in a few hours. It seemed like only yesterday that Douglas had dropped her at the airport with promises to see her very soon. She thought about everything she had to fill them in on. She knew that she’d try to gloss over the bits about her not quite feeling great just yet, the sad days that still threatened to overtake her; but she had seemed to pull it together for the last week or so. Well, until Antonio had popped up in her life. Briefly, she thought.
She went back to the inn to join Elena in the kitchen; they prepared the pasta for the dinner and her guests’ arrival. She was happy that they would be joining her at the inn, but she did think that Douglas might have something to say about the fact that she’d not bothered to find herself a house yet. Hopefully, her friends would be gentle with her. At least she had set a day aside next week to look at a few places, so it wouldn’t be as if she was making no progress.
The doorbell rang and both women went out to greet the guests.
Gigi and Douglas looked a bit tired after their big flight, but her friends’ faces seemed to light up when they saw her, making her very happy.
“I’m so glad that you two are here. How was your flight?”
“It was pretty good, in terms of how long flights go,” said Douglas.
Gigi laughed. “He wouldn’t know. He slept nearly the whole trip. I had to wake him up just as we were landing in Florence.” She winked at Lia. “You know you’ve been putting in a lot of hours at work when you can sleep for a whole uncomfortable plane ride.”
Lia laughed and hugged her friends while Franco grabbed their bags. Elena showed them to their room to freshen up, letting them know that dinner would be ready shortly and to come to the front patio for a glass of wine anytime.
Lia felt her worries slipping away just a bit, happy to see the familiar faces of her friends who were so dear.
Dinner was lovely. The only other guests had checked out that morning so it was only Lia, her friends, and their hosts. The banter was easy. Gigi and Douglas quickly got Lia up to speed with everything that had been happening at home, and also their exciting plans for the delayed honeymoon that they were now taking in Italy.
“I really can’t wait to introduce Douglas to my whole family,” said Gigi, smiling at her husband beside her. Only one of her four sisters had been able to make it to the wedding, so there was still a lot of family for Douglas to meet.
Lia smiled as she listened to her friends speak. Their joy seemed so apparent and wonderful. She truly was so happy for the way things had turned out for them.
Gigi turned to Lia. “So, tell us everything. How are you doing here? How’s the restaurant?”
Elena got up to start clearing the dishes. “We’ll let you all chat for a bit.”
Franco followed, filling his guests’ wine glasses before leaving.
“Oh, no need, Elena. I can help you with tha
t,” Lia said.
“No, no. Don’t be silly. Enjoy your friends. I insist.”
Lia smiled, turning back to Gigi to answer her question.
“Things are good. Fine. The restaurant has been pretty busy and Carlo is really great.”
Lia hoped that she sounded more normal to them than she was really feeling inside.
Douglas looked as if he was stopping himself from saying something.
“What is it, Douglas? I know that look.” Lia laughed.
“Oh, well. I was just wondering about your home. I mean, the inn is really great and Elena and Franco seem delightful. But you are looking at places, aren’t you?”
Lia thought he seemed a little worried, which was the last thing she wanted.
“Yes, I thought you might wonder about that. I’ve just been really busy. Well, you know how it is. And the location here is so good for me. I can walk to the restaurant in only minutes,” said Lia.
“Do you want me to help you?” Douglas glanced at his wife. “Because I’m sure that we could extend our time here a few days so that I could help you find something.”
Gigi nodded, reaching for Douglas’s hand under the table.
“Yes, of course we can,” Gigi said.
Lia really did have the best friends in the world. She smiled at them both. “No, don’t be silly. I don’t want you to change anything. I actually have an appointment with a real estate agent next week and my friend, Rebecca—you’ll meet her at some point—has agreed to help me look. I’m sure I’ll have something by the time you two are back here for the party. Hopefully something big enough for all of us,” Lia said, imagining a house filled with laughter and the loud sounds of Jemma playing.