by Paula Kay
“Okay; well, that sounds good then. If you’re sure you don’t need my help,” said Douglas.
“You’re very sweet to offer.” Lia glanced at Gigi, who was hiding a yawn behind her hand. “Oh dear, you’re looking pretty tired. Why don’t I let you two go get yourselves tucked in. We have time tomorrow morning to catch up still.”
Gigi laughed, not hiding the next yawn to come. “I think I will have to agree with that idea, although I do want to have a nice big talk with you in the morning.”
“That’s a date. I’ve taken the morning off from the restaurant, so maybe we can go for a nice walk or something. And speaking of the restaurant, I thought maybe we could go there for lunch before you two take off for the day?”
“That sounds wonderful on all counts,” Gigi said as they all began to get up from the table.
“Sleep well,” Lia said, giving her friend a quick kiss on the cheek.
Chapter 18
The next morning, Lia and Gigi met in the dining room over a nice cup of coffee.
“Douglas has gone out for a bit to investigate some of his travel ideas at an agency Elena told him about. I’m not sure what that man has up his sleeve, but I’ve already warned him that I don’t particularly love surprises.” Gigi laughed.
“Yeah, but if those surprises are nice little romantic getaways, that’d be okay, I suppose?” Lia smiled because she noticed that her friend was blushing slightly.
“Oh, I suppose so.” Gigi got up from the table. “Shall we go for that walk you were telling me about last night? I feel like we never really got to talk about what’s been going on with you—”
“Well, everything—” Lia interrupted her friend.
“Not just about the restaurant,” Gigi said. And then she smiled at Lia. “I want to know how you’re doing.”
Lia met her eyes and just nodded. “Okay, let’s go then. I’ll tell you everything.”
And she had decided just then to tell Gigi about Antonio showing up in her life. She’d long since filled her friend in on most, if not all, of the details as they pertained to Antonio and their past so long ago. Gigi was well aware of the secrets she’d been keeping from him for far too long. Maybe her friend would have a good perspective on everything, or at least help to calm her anxieties a bit about what she still needed to do. Lia sighed and tried to get Antonio out of her mind as they made their way to the footpath at the park near the inn.
They’d been walking for a few minutes, when Lia just decided to blurt it out—everything that had happened with Antonio. She told Gigi about meeting Rebecca on the plane and the surprise meeting between herself and Marco after that.
“Wow, what are the chances of that?” Gigi said, glancing at Lia. “So, do you know if Marco did tell Antonio?”
“He did, which honestly I assumed that he would,” said Lia. “I’d been mentally preparing myself ever since the day I made the connection that they were cousins—well, I thought that I’d been preparing myself.”
“What happened? Have you seen him?” Gigi said.
“Yes.” Lia could hardly believe it herself even as she was relaying this news to her friend. After all these years, it seemed nearly impossible that she and Antonio had seen each other. “I’ve seen him a few times, actually.”
“Oh? Go on,” said Gigi.
“The first time was when he came into the restaurant. Of course I knew that it could happen, so I felt somewhat prepared, but then I saw him and—well, it’s all over now anyways, so none of that really matters.”
Gigi stopped on the path where they were walking, reaching out her hand to Lia so that they were facing one another. “You saw him and…? What happened and what’s over?”
Lia laughed even though there wasn’t really anything funny about the conversation they were having. She was uncomfortable telling this to her friend, and she couldn’t quite put her finger on why. “Well, it’s just that I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t feel something with him—or if it didn’t feel like there was something still between us.”
“Okay, and this is a bad thing, why?”
“Gigi, I haven’t told him about Ari,” Lia blurted out. “I know I need to, but the times we’ve been together have been so strange—in a good way, I mean. I guess if I’m being honest, I just wanted to enjoy it for a minute—the possibility, or…I don’t know. It’s not a possibility.” She looked away before she continued. “I stood him up the last time we were supposed to meet, and I’ve not been taking any of his calls.”
“Lia—”
Lia thought she detected something else in her friend’s voice. “I will do it. I mean, I intend to call him and get together one more time. I know that I need to tell him about Ari—about everything. And then it will just be over.” She tried to sound as matter-of-fact about it as she could, but there was nothing simple about the situation.
“Lia,” Gigi started again, and this time she was looking her straight in the eyes with a fierce expression that Lia hadn’t seen before. “What are you doing?”
Lia definitely sensed the frustration, if not a bit of anger, in her friend’s voice as she continued.
“You’re not really thinking of Ari, are you?”
That was it. The change in tone that Lia had detected. She and Gigi had grown close, but there were still pieces of Gigi’s personality that she had yet to learn about, and she especially couldn’t discount the time that Gigi had spent practically raising Arianna. There was a fierce loyalty there, and that was what she’d seen on her friend’s face when she’d mentioned Ari’s name.
“I mean, do you not think that it’s dishonoring her memory that you’ve not even told her father that she existed? I get that it’s hard, Lia, but you owe that to her.” Gigi wiped at the tears that had formed in her eyes.
“I will do it. I said that I would.” She didn’t know exactly what to feel about Gigi’s words, but there was a new unsettling forming in the pit of her stomach.
“It’s not only that—telling him about Ari.” Gigi’s voice grew gentler as she continued. “It’s what Ari would have wanted for you.”
This was a conversation that they’d had before—many times, actually. But something about it suddenly felt different to Lia. She tried to keep it together, but the tears were coming anyways. “I don’t mean to dishonor her memory—it’s the last thing I would want.” Lia was sobbing now and Gigi pulled her towards her for a hug. They made their way over to the bench nearby and sat down, sitting in silence for several minutes as Lia’s sobs lessened.
Finally Gigi spoke again. “I don’t think you mean to. I don’t. What I do think is that you’re scared and overwhelmed and—and a bunch of things I can’t really begin to imagine.”
Lia felt herself growing a bit calmer as she tried to quiet the voices in her own head enough to focus on her friend’s words.
“I know that it hasn’t been easy for you. God, what you’ve been through—what we’ve all been through—but especially you. I know there is guilt there.” Gigi seemed to be waiting for Lia to look her in the eyes before she continued.
“I’ll tell you that you and your daughter were not so different. She had that guilt too. Watching her finally let go of all that—at the end. It was really the best gift that she could have given herself. And—what I do know—is that she wouldn’t have wanted you to be living the way you are now, Lia.”
Lia opened her mouth to speak, ready to defend all the strides that she’d made since she’d been back in Italy. “I have—”
“You haven’t, Lia. You’re still holding on to this idea that you can’t really be happy, that you need to mourn Ari and keep punishing yourself. But I’ll tell you that that is something that would have made Ari so angry.”
Lia looked at her friend, listening intently and, maybe for the first time, genuinely hearing her words about what Arianna truly wanted for her.
“Do you have any idea how happy she would have been at the thought of you and her father finally being toge
ther again after all these years? She knew how much you had loved him, how you’d looked when you told her about him. How you looked just now, actually, telling me about seeing him again after all these years.”
“That’s all true, but he—”
“You don’t know. I’m sure he’s going to be shocked and yes, probably angry. Anyone would be, but you can’t just automatically discount everyone, Lia. Not everything has to turn out bad just because it’s what you think you deserve.” Gigi’s voice grew quieter again. “Maybe you deserve something wonderful in your life.”
The two women sat in silence for another minute.
“Arianna gave you all of this—the restaurant, the home you’ve not purchased yet, a new chapter of your life here in Italy—not because of anything that had to do with her wealth, but because she was trying to give you the redemption of your own dreams, of everything that you had once given up.”
Both of the women were silently weeping as Gigi continued, speaking the truth about who Arianna was in a way that Lia had not really heard before.
“And Lia—if Antonio ends up being a part of that—and maybe he won’t be—but you owe it to yourself—to Ari, to give that a try—to give all of this a real try.”
Lia nodded to her friend, wiping the last of her tears away with her hand. She felt something shift inside her as they walked in silence back to the inn. Gigi had been right about everything. She had only been going through the motions with all of the changes, and it hadn’t really gotten her anywhere. She felt a new resolve within her. She’d phone Antonio after Gigi and Douglas left. She’d meet him and tell him everything. Whatever happened after that, she’d be ready for.
Arianna had given her so much—wanted so much for her. It was time that she truly accepted the gift from her daughter—it was time that she started really living the life that Arianna had wanted for her.
Chapter 19
Lia stepped into the foyer of the small villa and couldn’t contain a little shout of excitement as she looked over her shoulder at her friend Rebecca.
“This place is so sweet. Just like how I’d picture a quaint little villa,” Lia said.
The two women followed the agent throughout the house, listening to her describe the centuries-old villa. It had been empty for the past year, but the owners had hired a service to keep up the grounds and the interior of the house.
There were three bedrooms of average size, and two and a half baths. Lia stepped into the kitchen, her eyes drawn to the large workspace in the center of the room and the sunlight that was streaming in through the big windows. On one side of the kitchen was a little nook, perfect for a small table, and windows that looked out onto the garden just outside.
“You look really happy in this kitchen,” Rebecca said. “I think you may have just found the one.”
Lia paused at the window, considering her friend’s exclamation. “I’m not so sure.” She noticed Rebecca’s quirked eyebrow. “I mean don’t get me wrong, I love it and everything. I’m just thinking about the one we just saw, too.”
“You mean the one with six bedrooms and the pool?” Rebecca asked.
They had looked at several different villas available in the area. Lia hadn’t really given the agent a number in terms of her price range, so they had seen everything from very small, modest villas to huge towering mansions. Rebecca seemed a bit shocked that Lia would go for the other, and Lia felt the need to explain herself.
“I’m just thinking about next month, when everyone comes from back home to visit.” And what Arianna would have preferred, she couldn’t help thinking. “We’ll need a lot of room and I want things to be perfect.” I want it to be like before, when Arianna was here too.
“Okay, you know what you want. It’s just that you really seem to light up in this place. I don’t know. It’s as if you belong here,” Rebecca said. “I’m not sure that buying a huge place is the best idea if you are doing it just to accommodate guests that will visit once in awhile. I mean, there are plenty of places that you can rent for those occasions, right?”
“Oh, I know,” Lia said. “It’s just for some reason, I think the other one is the best choice for me.” She turned to the agent to find out the prices for both of them, noticing Rebecca’s face as they discussed the high price of the bigger home.
“Is the other home available for rent, by any chance?” Rebecca asked the agent.
“I’d have to make a phone call to the owners to find out for sure, but it is an option that they were open to at one time.”
Lia nodded, thankful that her friend was with her; Rebecca seemed to have an idea of something that Lia was missing. “That’s not a bad idea,” she said, even though as she thought about Arianna, she knew it would be the home she’d end up in. It’s what she would have wanted for me.
Lia and Rebecca left the villa, and the realtor promised to call Lia as soon as she’d spoken with the owner. The two women decided to stop off at a cafe nearby for a coffee and to end the nice day with a chat.
“Thanks so much for putting me in touch with the agent and for coming with me today. It means a lot. Way less daunting than doing it on my own,” Lia said and laughed.
“Oh, no problem at all. It’s fun for me. I never get tired of seeing all the villas and lovely homes here in the countryside. Half the time, I’m still pinching myself to wake up from this dream I think I’m having.” The two women laughed.
“It’s no dream.” Lia smiled. “I’m really happy for you and Marco. You two seem very well suited for one another.”
“Speaking of being well suited…” Rebecca started to say.
“Rebecca, don’t start. Please.” Lia tried to look stern, and calm her heart from racing—which seemed to always be the case whenever she thought about Antonio.
“Lia, you really need to phone him,” Rebecca said gently. “He’s been over a few times and he’s tried to get information out of me. Quite frankly, it’s making me a little bit uncomfortable, knowing what I know—”
“I know. I’m really sorry. I am.”
Lia hated that she was putting her friend in this position. It really wasn’t fair.
“Well, I just think it’s not fair to him. I’m not judging you, but he deserves more of an explanation than what you’ve given him, if you ask me—and I realize that you are not,” Rebecca said, laughing a bit nervously.
Lia liked this about Rebecca. Her honesty and straightforward approach was refreshing.
“You’re right. You are,” Lia said. “I’ll call him.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. I’ll do it tonight when I get home. He does deserve more than what I’ve told him. He deserves to know everything.” And then it can just be over, she thought, at the same time wondering if she’d really have the courage to follow through with it.
The two women finished their coffee, and Rebecca dropped Lia off back at the guest house, with promises of phone calls and a get-together again soon. Lia had dinner with Elena, Franco, and a few guests, retiring up to her room with a big glass of wine. She needed the liquid courage to make the phone call.
Antonio answered on the third ring. “Hello, Lia.”
The sound of his voice made Lia sit in the chair that she had been standing near. God, he sounded so wonderful.
“Antonio, hi.” She couldn’t help but smile as she said his name, and she imagined the grin that was across his own face as he replied to her.
“I’ve been so worried about you, bella. Are you okay? Is there anything I can do?” Antonio said, and the concern in his voice made Lia’s heart pound even faster. “Or is it that you just don’t have any interest in seeing me?”
She could almost imagine the expression on his face, and for a brief moment all she could think about was kissing his worries away. She shook her head as if attempting to rid herself of the image.
“I know. I’m so sorry. I’ve been completely rude to you,” Lia blurted into the phone. “Yes, I’m okay, but—Antonio, I do
need to talk to you. To tell you everything.” There it was. There was no going back now. This was a conversation that needed to happen.
“Si, it’s no problem. When can I see you? Tomorrow?”
“Yes, tomorrow would be good. Maybe you can come by here and we’ll go for a walk in the park nearby?” She didn’t want to have this conversation in a public place. It was too private, and she wanted to at least give Antonio the space to react in whichever way he needed to. She could at least grant him that.
“Sure. That sounds good. I will come by around ten o’clock?”
“Yes, ten is great,” Lia said through the lump in her throat.
“And Lia,” Antonio’s voice was quiet and so sincere. “There’s nothing that you can tell me that is going to change how I am feeling about you, how I’m feeling about this second chance that we have to get to know one another again.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Lia said as she clicked off the phone, tears streaming down her face. I bet I can change your mind about me.
Chapter 20
Lia sat in her room waiting for the sound of the doorbell. She was glad that she and Antonio would be staying nearby, and she had a chance to feel somewhat composed before she saw him, unlike all of the other times she’d seen him or heard his voice.
She took a deep breath when she heard the doorbell ring, and walked downstairs just in time to see Elena letting Antonio in. She made the introductions and Elena excused herself, leaving the two of them standing rather awkwardly inside the door.
Antonio reached to kiss her cheeks and then grabbed her in a very familiar embrace. God, the smell of him. She couldn’t believe how easy her body slipped into his arms, how easy it would be to place her cheek against his broad chest, and just rest it there for a little while. She cleared her throat and willed herself to stop the thoughts that were threatening her motivation for this meeting.