by Paula Kay
She saw his eyes move to the plunging neckline of her dress.
“Now that, especially, I appreciate very much.” He grinned and she couldn’t help but laugh. “I just don’t know. I mean, it’s not really my thing. Does that bother you?”
She didn’t answer him right away as she thought about the question for a few seconds. It wasn’t that it really bothered her so much as that she felt very confused about her old way of life and her new way of facing the world—with her new wealth, with everything that Arianna had given her, and trying to live up to that expectation of what her daughter would have wanted. She and Arianna had shared such great times together when they were in Italy and everything had been new to Lia. The drivers, the fancy dinners, hotels, the opera, the clothes. Arianna had opened Lia’s eyes to a whole new way of life, and she somehow felt that she owed it to her daughter to share that kind of lifestyle with the father that she hadn’t had the chance to know. She looked at Antonio now, who was patiently waiting for an answer.
“Does it bother me that you didn’t enjoy the opera? No, not really.”
“But?”
She knew that her comment had insinuated a ‘but’ coming directly after.
“It’s just that I’d like you to try some new things. The things that I did learn to enjoy with Ari.”
Antonio looked very uncomfortable, and for the first time since the day that she’d told him about their daughter, she thought she saw anger flash across his face.
“Lia, this isn’t really anything new to me. I told you that. This was the lifestyle I was living in Rome—with Bianca. And it didn’t work for me. It’s not that I have a problem taking you to a nice meal or a performance once in awhile if that’s something that’s important to you. I can do that. But if you’re looking for me to subscribe to some type of lifestyle that has me back wearing fancy clothes and having to be at some nice restaurant at a certain time most nights of the week, I’d be lying to you now if I said that I’d sign up for that again.”
Lia couldn’t stop the tears from stinging her eyes, and she wasn’t even entirely sure why she was crying.
“Darling, please.” Antonio reached for her hand and she could feel his tension easing a bit. “I do adore you. And I guess I’m not saying that anything is off the table. I’m not. I just find it all a bit confusing, because from where I’m sitting, you look very beautiful and are saying all the right things, but I’m not entirely sure that this is all what you want either.”
She felt his eyes probing hers, wanting some truth to come out of the conversation.
“I liked the opera just fine. I did. And this, the fancy clothes and restaurants is all new to me, Antonio. I’ve never had any of it before. I never really even wanted any of it.” She was aware that her voice was growing louder and she couldn’t contain the growing frustration about the conversation and the whole evening here with Antonio, which had gone nothing like she’d planned.
“I know that, bella.” He looked like he was about to say more. “I think we should probably just call it a night. We’re both tired, and we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow if you still want to do a few things here before we make the drive back.”
Antonio reached for Lia’s hand as he stood up from the table, and Lia felt that her heart was breaking just a little bit at the way the evening had turned out. She couldn’t really blame him, though. They had talked a bit about lifestyles and he’d made some valid points, including the questioning of her own feeling about the way she was trying to live her life these days. She felt a real unsettling of emotions within her and knew that sleep probably was the best thing that she could do for herself. For both of them. They’d probably feel more up to talking in the morning; she’d just have to save her ideas for a romantic night together for another time. A night that she hoped would come anyways.
Chapter 27
Lia poured another glass of wine for herself and Rebecca, who’d come into the restaurant to have lunch with her and hear all about the weekend away with Antonio. Lia was still feeling a little stressed about the whole thing, if she was being honest with herself, and she’d hoped that maybe her friend could shed a little positive light on the whole situation. Things hadn’t quite been the same between her and Antonio ever since they’d returned home a few days earlier.
“So tell me everything,” Rebecca said, sipping her wine and looking at Lia with a teasing smile of expectation.
“Well, honestly, there’s not much to tell, I’m afraid.”
“What do you mean? Was it not a good weekend?” Rebecca said.
Lia felt herself tensing up a bit at the memory of it. “Well, no. It wasn’t the weekend that I’d hoped for. That’s for sure.”
“What happened?” Rebecca asked. “Did he not like the opera?”
“Oh, he definitely didn’t appreciate the opera. He practically slept through most of it.”
“Oh?” Rebecca raised an eyebrow.
“Well, honestly, I nodded off a few times myself, which made it all the more strange when we were talking about it afterwards.” Lia laughed lightly at the memory of noticing herself falling asleep in the fancy box seat.
“Okay, well, that sounds kind of funny, actually. And hard to believe that it would ruin your whole weekend. Did you at least—”
Lia cut her off. “Nope. We didn’t share a room or a bed. There was way too much friction between us in the evenings, or we were too tired. Or I don’t know. I honestly am not sure that he’s ready to take it to that level.”
“That surprises me. He’s so affectionate with you all the time.”
“He is, yes. And I love that about him.” Lia smiled as she spoke. “I think it has a lot to do with his break-up. And also the fact that we have this past together and well—quite frankly, the secrets that I’ve kept from him.”
“I think he’ll come around.” Rebecca said.
“He’s said that he has forgiven me—that he just wants to move forward with our relationship. And I do believe him. I just think it must be hard, you know?”
Rebecca nodded her head in agreement as Lia continued.
“I think he definitely does have some walls up, and I don’t blame him. And really, things just felt a little off all weekend. It was actually pretty horrible. We’d have our moments and then a little setback, like the night of the opera. I found myself feeling very frustrated and I think it was the same for him.” Lia sighed, not wanting to bore her friend with the details. “So that’s where things stand. But enough about me. How are things with you and Marco?”
“Oh, Marco and I are fine and sickeningly in love.” Rebecca laughed as she got up from the table, coming around to give her friend a quick hug. “Speaking of Marco, I have to run because I promised him that I would attempt cooking for him tonight.”
Lia got up to hug her friend goodbye. “Oh, that sounds great. Remember my offer always stands whenever you are ready to come try a few things with me in the kitchen. I’m very happy to do that, and I’m sure Carlo would be too.”
“Thank you. I’m sure I will be taking you up on that offer at some point. For now I’m just focusing on boiling water for the pasta I purchased at the local shop.”
“Travesty,” Lia teased.
“And I’m sure that things will be back to normal with you and Antonio soon. Try to hang in there with him. I have a very good feeling about you two.”
“Do you?” Lia laughed. “That’s just because you are living in one fairy-tale love story right now.”
“Maybe so. But I do think things will work out.” She turned to wink as she opened the door to leave the restaurant.
No sooner had Lia sat back down to finish her wine than her phone was ringing with a call from Antonio. They had only texted since arriving back from Florence a few days earlier; Lia knew that he was also very busy getting caught up at the vineyard, so she’d tried to push thoughts of him not wanting to see her out of her head. Nonetheless, she felt very happy to see his name showing up on her c
aller ID.
“Hi, Antonio.”
“Darling, how are you? I’m so happy that you answered.” She could hear the genuine delight in his voice and instantly felt more at ease. She loved that he was so expressive with his emotions. She thought it was rare for many Italian men, and felt pretty lucky that Antonio had somehow learned something in his past that allowed him to be so forthcoming. She didn’t particularly remember him being that way when they were young, although he had been very romantic even back then.
“I’m okay, thank you. How are you?”
“Just okay?” He paused to wait for her reply.
‘Well, certainly I wish that things would have gone a little better between us towards the end of the weekend, you know? I feel really bad about that. And yes, if I’m being honest, I’m very happy to be talking to you now,” Lia said.
“Well, I feel bad too, bella. Actually that is part of why I’m calling you. Can we spend the afternoon together? Tomorrow? This time I am planning the date.”
She could hear the teasing in his voice, which caused her to smile on her end of the line.
“Yes, I can get off work tomorrow. What did you have in mind?”
“It’s a surprise. Nothing fancy. At all. Just dress comfortably and I will come by the restaurant at two o’clock to pick you up, okay?
“That sounds great. I’ll look forward do it.”
“Ciao, bella.”
“Ciao.” Lia clicked off the phone, feeling much better then she’d felt since leaving Florence. Maybe things were going to get back on track with her and Antonio after all.
Chapter 28
Lia let Antonio lead her out of the restaurant, delighted at how he had been teasing her about their date. Their reunion after even just a few days had made her feel missed and special. He’d grabbed her in a big hug just as soon as he’d seen her, and she realized how much she had missed him.
“So where are you taking me? And why all the mystery?”
“No real mystery. Just something I’ve been wanting to do with you. It’s not far. We can walk from here, actually. I hope that you are in the mood for something sweet, bella.”
They walked in silence holding hands, and it wasn’t long before Lia realized exactly where he was taking her. Walking to the little cafe where they’d shared their last gelato together as teen-agers, she felt a rush of memory. He stopped along the lane, pushing her gently against the stone exterior of a corner of one of the buildings. Hidden from passersby, he surprised her with a passionate kiss.
“Do you remember, bella?” he whispered against her lips.
She nodded her head, unable to speak as the memory flooded over her and her lips met his in another passionate kiss. God, they really were like a couple of teenagers, kissing and groping one another as if everything about it were new and exciting. She laughed.
“What’s so funny, my darling?”
“Just being here with you like this. Having you kiss me the way that you do. I feel like a kid again.” She smiled as he pulled her tighter.
“Ah, then my secret plan is working.” His face grew more serious then. “I hated letting you go that day, saying goodbye to you, not knowing when I would see you again.”
“It was the same for me too, Antonio. It was.” She desperately wanted him to believe her.
They continued on along the lane until they came to the gelato shop.
“Shall we?” Antonio asked.
“I love something sweet in the afternoon.”
“Do you?” He was teasing her again, and she got the message behind the simple question.
They ordered their scoops of gelato to go, and continued walking to the square and the exact bench where they’d said their goodbyes so many years ago. They sat in easy silence for several minutes, each lost in their own thoughts, Antonio’s hand resting lightly just above her knee.
“Antonio?”
“Yes?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Si, you can ask me anything.” He leaned over to give her a quick kiss on the cheek.
“Why didn’t you write me back? After those first few months, I mean?”
Antonio looked at her and waited for a few moments before replying. “It will always be one of the deepest regrets of my life, bella. Especially knowing what I know now. That maybe things could have been different. Things would have been different had I known you were pregnant.” He looked at her carefully, as if checking her emotional state.
She was surprisingly keeping it together somehow, even though it was a topic that nearly always filled her with regrets. In some ways it felt comforting now hearing Antonio talk about his own regrets. It was the closest that she’d felt they were meeting on a common ground, not that she wanted him to feel half the pain that she’d been feeling all this time.
She answered, “I know. I wish that I’d been more careful about making my decisions back then. I wish I would have trusted you—trusted in us. I just was so confused when all of the communication stopped. I didn’t know what to think except for imagining that you’d moved on without me—that you’d found someone else.”
“I know. You had every right to think that. And the truth is that that’s exactly what had happened. Well, not that I’d fallen in love or anything. There was no one that could take your place, even back then. I just didn’t know how to move on without you. I remember feeling lonely, and all of my friends were talking about how you were sure to be meeting lots of men in America.” He pressed gently on her leg as if willing her to understand the depth of the teenage heartbreak that he was referring to.
“I was so stupid, Lia. Really, all of the secrets that you’d kept from me were just as much my fault. I know how difficult that time must have been for you. It really kills me that you went through all of that alone.”
Lia couldn’t help the tears from coming now, and she saw them in Antonio’s eyes as well as he pulled her head to his chest. She felt so safe with him in this moment, the past becoming a distant memory of hurts and regrets. And she almost felt confident that they’d be able to overcome it, if they did it together.
Antonio lifted her chin off his chest slightly as he looked in her eyes. He traced the contour of her face, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear, and reaching down to gently kiss away the tears that had fallen to her cheeks.
“Do you know what I do know, bella?”
She looked up at him. “What’s that?”
“I like being here like this with you now. Even though what we’re talking about is difficult, it feels real. Like we’re making some steps forward.”
“Yes, I agree. I like it too.” And she thought about how different it felt being here with him now as compared to how the past weekend had felt—and she got it. What he had meant by everything said during their weekend in Florence. They felt more comfortable together here in this place because it was more similar to how they’d been when they first met and fell in love. She felt more like herself just now than she had for a very long time.
Chapter 29
Lia was racing around her house putting the last things in place before her guests would arrive. There were fresh flowers in all the bedrooms, chilled wine in the fridge, and a special little dollhouse that she’d gotten for Jemma to play with. She was looking over her list one more time, certain that she’d been forgetting something, when she saw the limousine pulling up the long driveway. She’d hired the car to pick them all up at the airport in Florence.
She saw Jemma out the window first as the child darted out of the car for the front door.
“Look who it is,” Lia said, smiling, as she opened the door to receive a giant hug from the young girl.
“Hi, Lia,” Jemma said, her eyes darting around the house behind her. “Mom says that I can go for a swim in your pool.”
“Jemma.” Blu mouthed the words “driving me crazy” to Lia behind Jemma’s back. “Jemma, be polite and say hello. And you need to ask Lia if it’s okay to use the pool.”
/> Jemma looked at Lia, who nodded.
“You just need to be sure that there’s a grown-up out there with you, okay? Come here and give me another hug.”
Jemma obeyed and Lia bent down to meet her eyes. “How was your flight? You seem to have a lot of energy, so I assume that you slept.”
“I did. And yes, it was very good. I’m going to go put my swimsuit on now, okay?”
“Okay; let me say hello to your mom and then I will show you your bedroom.”
“It’s okay, I can find it.” Jemma scampered off, leaving Blu and Lia looking at one another.
Blu reached over to give Lia a big hug. “That child is driving me nuts.” She laughed; Gigi nodded her head coming in the door with Douglas right behind her.
“She is getting to be a bit of a handful.” Gigi smiled at Lia and gave her a kiss on each cheek. “It’s so lovely here, Lia.”
Lia smiled back and showed Douglas where to set down the two suitcases that he was holding. “How have you two been? Did you enjoy your time down south?”
“Si, yes. It’s been so wonderful to spend time with my sisters. I think Douglas has gotten quite used to all of the magnificent Italian cooking.” Gigi laughed as Douglas comically rubbed his tummy as if to signify the weight he’d put on. “I only hope he won’t be spoiled when we return home and it’s back to take-out five nights a week.”
Douglas laughed as he kissed Gigi on the cheek. “Darling, you’ve been trying. That’s all one can ask for.” He turned to Lia. “And don’t worry. I’ve saved lots of room for more fabulous meals that I know are coming our way here.”
Lia laughed at the sudden little swirl of activity around her. It already felt so good to have her friends here, in her home. She’d been planning this time and the party at the restaurant for some time now, and wanted every detail to be perfect.
“Well, come in. Let me give you a tour of the house; and then how about if we take some wine outside by the pool so Jemma can try it out?”